The Sound of Silence
by Besotted
Summary: Bella Swan lives in a continuum between sound and silence, a world apart from what Edward Cullen knows. When their lives collide and their attraction can't be denied, can they overlook their differences and let love define them?
1. Life as I know It

**Author's Notes:**

Hello, and welcome to **The Sound of Silence**. Just a few important notes before you begin:

Because Bella is deaf in this fic, it presents a certain challenge when writing dialogue. So that things do not become too confusing, I have provided a key you can refer to when reading each chapter. This key will be posted in the author's notes at the beginning of every chapter.

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

I hope this isn't too confusing. It should make much more sense as you go along.

Finally, I just want to say that this fic is written in its entirety with the exception of the final three chapters. I plan to post one chapter a week through its completion.

Many thanks to **azure0610** who has graciously agreed to beta another story for me. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading.

This story will be told entirely from EPOV.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 1: Life as I Know It**

Life was pretty good. I had just come from what most of my classmates considered a particularly grueling Organic Chemistry exam, but I was fairly certain I'd aced it. I better have. I'd only sacrificed all of Thanksgiving break to study for it. I wasn't entirely happy about that. I wondered why I'd even bothered flying home to Chicago. I may as well have just remained here, in sunny Florida, locked away in my apartment studying. The weather would have been a hell of a lot less depressing, that's for sure. But my kid sister Alice wouldn't have been very happy with me. She'd all but begged me to come home, citing the fact that we hadn't seen each other since the beginning of August. She was right, and I couldn't say no to her. She was more than just my sister, she was my best friend.

Of course, we hadn't been able to visit much over my five day break. I'd had my nose stuffed inside my textbook for practically the entire time. I wondered what my professor had been thinking when he scheduled an exam for the Monday after Thanksgiving, anyway. I mean, who in the hell waits to give an exam until _after_ Thanksgiving break? It was cruel and unusual punishment, in my opinion, inflicted upon helpless undergrads by their snickering professor. He probably derived a great deal of satisfaction out of depriving us of our mini vacation, figuring he was doing us a favor by preparing us for the rigors of medical school where we would surely not have time to fool with holidays.

Lucky for me, in roughly four weeks time I'd be through with Organic Chemistry. In fact, I'd be finished with all but three of the courses necessary to graduate with a pre-med degree. That wasn't the only degree I'd graduate from the University of South Florida with in June. I was a double major, music and medicine, and I'd be graduating with a degree in piano performance, too. Completing a double major had, admittedly, been very rough. It would take me six years to graduate college as opposed to the traditional four most others completed it in. But it had been worth it to me. I'd received a full scholarship to USF, based upon my willingness to study music. When a university offers to pay all of your undergraduate fees in exchange for your participation in their music program, it's a hard deal to pass up.

As I strolled along the sidewalk, I found myself absently whistling along to Schubert's Impromptu in A Flat. It was a favorite of mine, and also happened to be one of the pieces I was currently working on for my upcoming piano performance exam. I was heading back to my apartment now to grab an early lunch, but I'd be returning to campus later in the day to spend several hours practicing before heading to my Comparative Anatomy class. Compared to Organic Chemistry, Comparative Anatomy was a breeze. In fact, I'd found most of my pre-med classes to be relatively easy. Unlike high school, I'd actually taken college seriously, and I'd be graduating Magna Cum Laude, with a near perfect GPA. This distinction had earned me admittance into USF's medical school. I'd received the letter in the mail when I returned home from Chicago late yesterday evening. Like I said… life really was good. I was pretty sure I had it all figured out. My path was set before me - a bright future, mine for the taking.

My cell phone vibrated in my pants pocket, and I pulled it out, switching the ringer on before answering the phone.

"What's up?" I said, greeting my roommate and best friend of four years, Emmett McCarty.

"Not much, man. I was just wondering if you felt like stopping by the store on your way home."

"What the hell," I said. It was almost eleven in the morning, and I was pretty sure Emmett was just now getting up. He'd managed to schedule all his classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays this semester, which meant the rest of the week he was afforded the privilege of sleeping in. I wasn't so lucky. I had advanced music theory at 8 a.m. all three of those days, which meant I had to roll out of bed no later than 7:45 in order to make it to class by eight. That was one of the benefits of living directly across the street from campus. I didn't require much transit time.

"Help a brother out," Emmett laughed. "I'm fucking hungry, and the milk's gone sour."

"So get in your car and drive to the store," I laughed, not hesitating to point out the obvious solution to his problem.

"That would require that I actually get out of bed," Emmett volleyed back.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Honestly, I wasn't sure how Emmett did it. He partied hard, often not returning to our apartment until the early hours of the morning. As a senior Mechanical Engineering major, you'd think he would need to spend more time studying. Then again, he had his wicked smart girlfriend, Rosalie, to help him out. She was a Mechanical Engineering major, too. I briefly wondered why I had never been so lucky as to find a study partner like her. Probably because I knew I'd never get any sort of productive studying done if I did, I reasoned.

I had to say, though, if I had to pinpoint a single disappointment over my nearly six years spent at USF, it would have to be my less than enviable love life. It's not that I didn't date, or that I didn't have any opportunities to enter into a relationship. I did date; my problem was continuing the relationship past the first date. A select few women I'd actually dated for a month or two, more for the sex than anything else, but as soon as I felt the girl start to form any sort of emotional attachment, I bolted. I supposed it was for the better. As a double major, I really didn't have time to deal with all the drama a relationship usually entailed. Still, at 22, there was a part of me that wondered if I wasn't ready to try and find something more. Alice had Jasper, Emmett had Rosalie. Me? I was all alone.

"Hey, Edward, you still there?"

"Sorry, bro. Got lost in thought there for a moment," I said, laughing at myself. I needed to stop with this introspective crap.

"So, are you going to pick up the milk or not?"

"Yeah, I'll get it," I said, changing course and heading in the direction of the little convenience store located on campus. "But only if you agree to cook dinner," I added as a condition.

Emmett was a wicked good cook. He was a self-appointed grill master, and our apartment was a gathering point of sorts for nearly all the college students in our complex. Tampa's well tempered weather meant it was possible to grill out year round, and on any given night, you could find a group of us throwing back beers and devouring some of Emmett's two pound burgers on our terrace.

"I've got a better offer," Emmett countered. "Rose thought that the four of us could go out for Mexican tonight, maybe grab a movie afterwards."

I groaned out loud, immediately wary of where this conversation was headed.

"The four of us? As in…"

"As in you, me, Rose and Tanya," Emmett interrupted while laughing out loud. "Who else would I be talking about?"

"Emmett," I warned. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. We all just went out last week. I don't really want to give Tanya the wrong idea."

I knew I had to be very careful with this situation. Tanya was Rosalie's younger sister. She'd transferred to USF this past summer, after spending two years at a community college. She was cute and all, and fairly good company too. But she was caught up in sorority life and the thrill of attending a major university for the first time. For all intents and purposes, her college years were just beginning whereas mine were coming to an end. Well, in the undergrad sense, anyway. I was set to attend med school next fall, but I didn't consider that college.

"Edward, when in the hell are you going to wake up and notice how fuck hot that girl is?" Emmett asked, forgoing tact. Not that he had much, anyway.

"There is something seriously wrong with you referring to your girlfriend's sister as fuck hot," I replied.

"Rose's words, not mine," he shot back by way of defense.

"Whatever. This has bad idea written all over it. You know my drill. One date, two dates – tops, a casual fuck from time to time and I'm over it. I'm not really interested in incurring the wrath of Rosalie when things don't work out with her baby sister."

"You won't even give her a chance, Edward," Emmett said, sounding a little bit annoyed.

_Good_. I was slightly annoyed myself.

"She's really great, and for whatever reason, she thinks you're some sort of Greek Adonis, or some shit like that. She's totally into you."

"How can she possibly be into me?" I wondered out loud. "We've never gone out together alone. She doesn't really know me."

"Well, maybe you should do something about that. Ask her out on a proper date - just the two of you. Take her to Burn's or something."

"Hell no," I ground out. "That's akin to declaring a relationship status. No man in their right mind takes a casual acquaintance out to a several hundred dollar dinner," I reasoned.

"All right, all right," Emmett sighed. "Point taken. But what harm can come from dinner at Tia's? It will be the four of us. That hardly counts as a romantic date."

"Fine," I finally agreed, growing tired of this conversation. It seemed important to Emmett that we all go out, and for that reason alone I agreed to go. "Dinner only, though. I'm not particularly keen on sitting in a dark theater with her. That's asking for trouble."

"Dinner and dancing in Ybor City," Emmett counter offered.

"Dinner and Fat Tuesday's," I shot back, wanting to avoid any situation that may involve bumping and grinding with Tanya. A bar was a much safer bet.

"Deal!" Emmett agreed, seeming pleased with my suggestion. "I'm not sure why I didn't think of that myself. We could even call a cab, afterwards."

Calling a cab was common practice for college students wanting to have more than a couple of drinks. Ybor City was a short ride from campus, and if you piled three or four people inside, the cost was minimal.

"Nah, I'll be the designated driver," I said, shooting down his idea, and I was pretty sure I could hear Emmett pout.

"What fun is there in that?" he complained.

"Actually, hopefully not much," I pointed out as a matter of fact. "Maybe if Tanya sees how boring I really am, she'll settle her interests on someone else."

"Edward," Emmett said, clearly frustrated. "What's your problem? If it's really that big of a deal I'll just tell the girls you're busy. There's no sense in going out if you're going to act like an uptight asshole."

I hesitated for a moment, considering if that might be the better choice. But I didn't want to upset Emmett, or Rose for that matter. And Tanya was a nice enough girl - I just didn't want her getting the wrong idea. But maybe Emmett was right. It was just a casual dinner, after all.

"No, no, it's okay," I said. "I'll do it, and I promise not to be an uptight asshole," I laughed. "Just, don't leave me hanging if she gets any ideas, okay?"  
>"Don't worry, pansy. I've got your ass covered," Emmett laughed. "See you in a few," he added before hanging up.<p>

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. I supposed I was acting a little bit uptight. Normally, I wasn't as cautious when it came to girls. I liked to go out and have fun as much as anybody else, but I wanted to tread carefully with Rosalie's sister. I hoped to live with Emmett again next year, and he and Rose were a pretty sure thing. It would make things incredibly awkward if Tanya and I had a falling out, hence my desire to keep our relationship platonic. I decided to make the best of it tonight, however. I'd just be extra careful not to send her any mixed signals.

The convenience store was located in the center of campus, which also happened to be on my way home. I darted inside to purchase the milk, and five minutes later I was once again traversing the familiar route to my apartment. I traveled the same route, three days a week - a route that happened to take me by the College of Behavioral Sciences. I didn't normally pay the building much attention. More often than not, I was plugged in, focusing mainly on my music and not on my surroundings. But today was different. My iPhone remained in my pocket, and as I walked past the building, I noticed a girl, struggling to balance an incredibly large number of books in her left arm while attempting to open the door to the building with her right. Even from where I stood, several yards away, I could see she wouldn't be successful.

"Hey!" I called to her. "Would you like some help?" I started to walk toward her, expecting her to acknowledge my offer, but instead, she continued to try and pry open the door.

"Hey!" I called out again. "Let me get that for you!" I picked up my pace, realizing that this stubborn girl intended to open the door on her own. There was no way she could manage, though. Her books would surely fall to the ground.

"Please, let me get that for you," I said as I jogged up behind her. I reached around her, intending to pull open the door, but then the unexpected happened. One moment the girl was standing in front of me, carefully balancing her books, the next she was flat on her ass on the ground, all her books scattered about.

"Shit! I'm sorry," I said in a panic while turning to offer her my hand, and I was momentarily taken aback as I did. The girl was fucking gorgeous. Her eyes were a deep shade of brown and her mouth was delicate and small. At the same time, I was certain I'd never seen lips as full as hers. And the entirety of her face… it was _so_ expressive, in a manner in which words just couldn't describe. I was momentarily struck dumb, and apparently so was she, because she just sat there, saying nothing, staring up at me in embarrassment and shock.

"Let me help you up," I said, shaking myself from my stupor. She squinted, her eyes trained on my lips as I spoke, but still, she said nothing. And then there was a rush of air as the doors to the building burst open, and we weren't alone anymore.

"Bella!" A voice cried out from behind me, and suddenly the gorgeous girl had a name. An apt name at that, I thought as a man moved past me in a rush. The man was _huge_. I was what most would consider a tall guy; I was six foot one. But this guy had to be over six foot four. He had long, black hair that fell past his shoulders, and rust colored skin which easily identified him as Native American. Arriving at Bella's side, I watched as his hands started moving wildly about. I was confused at first, uncertain as to what he was doing, but then I saw Bella's hands move in return, and suddenly it all made sense.

_This girl… Bella… was deaf. _

She hadn't heard me when I'd approached her from behind, and I must have startled her when I reached around her to open the door. This was the reason she'd stumbled to the ground. I felt bad for my mistake, but there was no way I could have known that she was deaf. I wanted to apologize for scaring her, but I didn't know how. I had no means by which to communicate with her. Instead, I stood off to the side, utterly fascinated by the movement of her hands as she signed to her friend. When she was through, he helped her to her feet before turning to face me.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," he said in a clipped tone. I was surprised by his attitude, and immediately went on the defensive.

"Hey," I said, leveling my eyes at him. "I was only trying to help. I didn't know she was deaf."

Bella's friend continued to glare at me, and it suddenly struck me that maybe this guy was more than just her friend. He seemed awfully upset with me for something that was truly an honest mistake. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella watching the two of us intently, and suddenly, her right hand came up, moving up and down in a sweeping motion near her friend's shoulder. He briefly glanced in her direction, his eyes easily following her hands as she once again signed something to him. I found myself becoming frustrated with my inability to follow the conversation and was just about to step away when Bella's hand reached out to lightly tap my arm. I froze, having not expected her to touch me, and my eyes slowly moved to meet hers.

When Bella saw that she had my undivided attention, her hand formed a fist and traveled directly over her heart. There, it circled slowly in place several times before rising towards her face. I was vaguely aware of my own heart racing wildly in my chest as her fingers hovered near to her lips, and then, her arm fell forward from a vertical to a horizontal position before moving slowly to her side. It was embarrassing – the fact that I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, and we stood there, staring at each other for a moment before Bella's friend started to pull her over to where her books lay scattered about the ground. I wanted to help pick them up, but I was pretty sure my help would not be welcome, at least not by him, and I didn't want to cause any more trouble. Instead, I slowly raised my hand in the air, waving it back and forth in a universal gesture Bella was sure to understand before slowly stepping away. She waved back, and smiled shyly at me before I turned and walked away.

**Endnotes:**

Chapters will be shorter this time around, but will increase in word count as the fic progresses.

I will be rewriting **The Preacher's Son** and plan to begin posting this story again when **The Sound of Silence** finishes posting.

Thank you for reading!

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

For those of you who have yet to discover the awesomeness that is **aerobee82's Antiques Roadshow**, check it out! It's a truly wonderful fic full of lots of good laughs and an incredibly endearing vampward that will turn all your preconceived ideas of Edward on end. Check it out!


	2. Setting the Record Straight

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 and JenEsme **for pre-reading. **Nayarit** from ADF created my beautiful banner!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 2: Setting the Record Straight **

I was a man possessed - rather I was a man on a specific mission. I was determined to decipher what Bella had said to me and in order to do that, I needed access to a computer. I'd memorized the movements she'd made with her hands, playing them over and over again in my head as I sprinted across campus towards home. Once there, I pushed open my front door and dropped my backpack on the floor by the entrance before placing Emmett's milk on the counter in the kitchen and heading into my room. My computer was already powered on, so I sat in my chair and brought up Google.

I already knew a little bit about deaf people. I'd read about them in several of my pre-med classes. There had been some diagrams of signs in my textbooks, but since I'd never actually met a deaf person, I'd never had reason to learn any of them. I figured the best place to start was Googling Sign Language, so I entered the term into the search engine and waited for a response. Moments later, the results of my search came back. The first several sites offered generic information about American Sign Language (ASL) which, while interesting, was not what I was looking for. I was more interested in specific signs. Going on the premise that Bella wouldn't have signed anything too complicated to a person who didn't understand the language, I refined my search. This time I limited it to commonly utilized ASL signs.

The search was a success. I clicked on a link at the top of the page which took me to a site offering picture and video illustrations of commonly used signs. I recognized one sign right out of the gate; it was the first sign on the page, though it was the second sign she'd used when communicating with me.

_Thank You._

I pressed the four fingers of my right hand together, bringing them to my lips just as Bella had done and mimicking the sign. _Thank You_. She'd said thank you, and for some reason, that made me feel ridiculously happy. I practiced the sign several times before scanning the page for any clue as to what she might have said before that. Her hand had been fisted tightly over her heart, traveling in slow circles as her face registered…remorse? Is that what I'd seen? Yes, now that I thought about it, the emotion I'd seen written all over her face was clearly remorse. She'd been sorry…

My eyes scanned further down the page, and there it was – the sign for sorry. The page read, "The sign for "sorry" is made by forming either an "a" or an "s" with your right hand. Rotate your hand over your heart in a few clockwise motions." I looked closely at the screen, carefully forming a letter "a" with my hand before placing it over my heart. I was circling it slowly when my door burst open.

"Hey, thanks for the… dude, what in the fuck are you doing?" Emmett stood in the threshold to my room, a bowl of cereal in one hand and a spoon in the other. His eyes traveled from my computer screen to my face before dropping to my chest. I immediately yanked my hand from my heart, stuffing it in my lap while simultaneously clicking out of Internet Explorer.

"Nothing," I muttered, not really caring to explain myself. What was there to say, anyway? That I'd accidentally startled a girl… a fucking gorgeous girl who also happened to be deaf? Now, I was trying to interpret her words – words spoken through gestures as foreign to me as Chinese? Emmett was a good guy, but he'd definitely have a good laugh at that. For some reason, just the thought of that put me on the defensive, so I figured it was better to leave well enough alone.

"So what time are we going out?" I asked, effectively changing the subject. Thankfully, Emmett took the hint and didn't question me further.

Later that evening, Tanya and Rose arrived while Emmett and I were still getting ready. Unfortunately, as the roommate paying a lesser amount of rent, my bathroom was located across the hall from my bedroom as opposed to inside my room. Normally, this wasn't a problem. It was, however, inconvenient when you were doing your best not to attract the attention of a certain female. I knew from the moment I watched Tanya's eyes go wide at the towel slung low on my hips that I would have to play things very cool this evening. Emmett was right. She was obviously interested in me. Her eyes, though not nearly as expressive as Bella's, gave her away. I paused at that thought, wondering why Bella had suddenly popped into my head. I remembered her eyes… how beautiful they had been, and found myself smiling involuntarily. Tanya smiled back, and I groaned internally.

_Fuck, Cullen. She hasn't been here for five minutes and already you're giving her the wrong idea._

I hurried to get dressed, summarily dismissing any more thoughts of Bella as I prepared for my evening out. Leaving our apartment, I was thankful that I'd at least be driving tonight. There would be no chance for Tanya to try and cozy up next to me in the backseat of the car. She'd tried that last week, but luckily we'd arrived home shortly before she made actual physical contact. Something told me that given the chance, tonight might be different though. Again, it was her eyes. They gave her away, and I couldn't help but notice her watching me as I cruised down Fowler Avenue towards Tia's.

Dinner was somewhat uncomfortable to begin with. Tanya and I were sitting opposite Emmett and Rosalie in a booth designed for four, and I created a bit of a stir when she scooted closer to me. I slid away from her - a move that was mostly unintentional on my part, but Emmett shot me an evil glance nonetheless. Remembering my promise not to act like an uptight asshole, I took a deep breath and refocused myself. I slid back in Tanya's direction and she smiled at me, and the remainder of the dinner went off without a hitch. It went so smoothly, in fact, that towards the end I found that I was actually having a good time. Tanya and I exchanged pleasant conversation, and never once did she try and initiate any sort of physical contact. Her hand _did_ rest comfortably between the two of us, and I couldn't help but think it was an invitation for me to hold it, but to her credit, Tanya didn't push.

After dinner, as had been previously decided, we drove into Ybor City. I was much more relaxed on the ride downtown. The four of us laughed and joked around with each other, and for a fleeting moment, I wondered if maybe I shouldn't try and pursue something with Tanya.

She seemed… perfect.

She was young, yes, but she was also witty and intelligent, and she was definitely easy on the eyes. I glanced in her direction, admiring her strawberry blonde hair. And then, out of nowhere, I wondered what she might look like as a brunette, and the thought so startled me that I nearly swerved into the adjacent lane.

"What the hell, Cullen? You sure you didn't drink any of those margaritas at dinner?" Emmett teased from the back of the car.

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett," I said, leveling my eyes at him in the rearview mirror. "You know I don't drink and drive."

"Lighten up," he shot back while smacking the back of my head. "I was only teasing, but I would appreciate it if you'd watch the damn road."

I tried to do as Emmett asked, but I was preoccupied by thoughts of Bella. Why in the hell did I keep thinking of her, anyway? What was it about her? She'd been popping in and out of my head all day long, and now I was envisioning Tanya as a brunette. That was just wrong. Tanya narrowed her eyes at me. I think she'd noticed me looking at her a few moments ago and she'd been pleased with the attention. Now, I'd reverted back to anxious Edward, worried about sending her the wrong signals - as I should be. Even I could see that I was hot and cold with her. I was starting to confuse myself, which was precisely why I hadn't wanted to go out with her in the first place.

Fat Tuesdays was all I expected it to be. It was loud. It was crowded. There were a lot of drunken people milling about, Emmett and Rose included. Interestingly, Tanya abstained from drinking. I wasn't sure whether I was happy about that or not. On the one hand, it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn't drunk. It was never fun being the sole sober person amidst a group of drunken fools. On the other hand, I once again found myself wondering if maybe it might be worth trying to get to know Tanya better, and that was dangerous territory.

I knew the stakes would be high if I dated Rosalie's sister. But would they be worth it if we worked out in the end? The problem was, as much as I liked Tanya, I didn't feel anything more than friendship for her. I liked her, and maybe I could even learn to like her a little more, but I didn't feel like I could ever love her. Not that I necessarily knew what love was, but I knew that ideally, part of being in a relationship with someone involved feeling some sort of connection to them beyond just physical attraction. And that's all Tanya was to me… a woman I found physically attractive. There was nothing more – certainly not that proverbial spark everybody spoke of.

It was a little past eleven when Tanya suggested the two of us go for a walk. I was immediately wary of her motives, but agreed to go along if only to get some fresh air. It was stuffy as hell inside Fat Tuesday's, and Emmett and Rose didn't look as if they would be ready to leave anytime soon. Once outside, Tanya shivered in the cool night air. I knew the chivalrous thing to do would be to offer her my jacket, so I did. She accepted it with a grateful smile before threading her arm through my own. I tensed a little at her touch, but she patted my arm, as if to tell me that it was okay to relax, so I did.

We walked together then, arm and arm, though the streets of Ybor City. We didn't say much as we moved along, instead choosing to observe the sights and sounds of the city in silence. We passed a musician on our way, playing his saxophone in the street. I tossed a 10 dollar bill in his case before continuing along.

"That was nice of you," Tanya commented, breaking our comfortable silence. I shrugged my shoulders.

"We musicians have to stick together. If I wasn't entering med school next fall, I'd probably be a starving artist too."

"Instead, you'll be a starving med student," Tanya pointed out with a gentle squeeze of my arm, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So true," I said. "But the idea is I'll eventually become a doctor, and I'll be able to pay back my loans."

Not for the first time, I offered silent thanks for the fact that my undergraduate tuition had been paid for. The money my parents had saved for me to attend college could now be used for med school, minimizing the loans I would need to take out.

"Do you mind if we sit down for a minute?" Tanya asked as we approached a group of benches. I thought it was a good idea. We'd been walking for awhile, and after resting for a bit we probably needed to head back in the direction of Fat Tuesdays.

"Sure," I said, guiding her in the direction of an unoccupied bench. We sat down together, side by side, and much to my relief, Tanya took her arm from mine.

"Edward, can I ask you a question?"

I looked over at Tanya and she smiled shyly at me.

"Of course," I said, trying hard not to appear too nervous. I wasn't sure why I was nervous to begin with. Tanya just appeared so… _serious_.

"You're not interested in me, are you?" she asked, catching me off guard. I hadn't expected her to ask that question. She was acknowledging the elephant in the room that I'd clearly been trying to avoid. Thankfully, she didn't sound defensive, or even all that upset – just curious. Still, I knew I had to choose my words carefully so as not to upset her.

"Tanya," I began slowly. "I think you're a really nice girl, and I enjoy spending time with you, but no… I'm not interested in you in any sort of a romantic way."

Tanya inhaled sharply, and I winced as her face fell. She was clearly disappointed, and I really wished I could tell her differently, but I decided it wouldn't be fair to either her _or_ me. Besides, even if I did lie, I was certain she would see right through me.

"I'm sorry," I said after she'd sat silent for awhile, but she only shook her head.

"No, it's okay. There's really no need to apologize," she said. "I figured as much. I just thought that maybe…" And I watched as Tanya's voice trailed off, her face suddenly turning a brilliant shade of red.

"Thought what?" I wondered, curious as to what could be causing this type of reaction.

"Well, it's fairly obvious you're not interested in any sort of serious relationship. But I thought that… I thought… oh never mind," she said, turning away from me in embarrassment. And suddenly I got it, and I felt just as uncomfortable as Tanya did. If I wasn't mistaken, she was asking me why we couldn't just fuck. God that sounded crude, even if it was only in thought. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, not exactly sure how to respond before deciding to just be upfront.

"Tanya, I'll be honest with you. In the past, I might have seen you that way," I started to explain. "But I'm not sure I'm interested in that type of relationship anymore. And it's not that I don't find you attractive, because I do. I'm just at a different point in my life now. Believe me when I say, it's not you. This is all me."

Tanya laughed quietly beside me.

"I've heard that line before," she said, and though she didn't sound bitter, she didn't exactly sound happy either.

"It's the truth," I said, reaching out to turn her face in my direction so that I could look her directly in the eye. "I respect you too much to treat you like that."

Tanya didn't say anything more, and instead sat by my side, quietly considering my words. After awhile, she looked up at me and smiled. It was an awkward smile, but I could tell she wanted to try and make things right.

"So, do you think that we could try and forget this incredibly awkward conversation ever took place and just be friends?" she asked hopefully, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"What conversation?" I joked in response, and her smile grew brighter.

Driving home that night, I felt a little better about my situation. Emmett and Rose were lost in their own private world in the backseat of my car and while the silence that surrounded Tanya and I wasn't exactly comfortable, it wasn't uncomfortable either. I think she understood why I didn't want to become involved with her – at least I hoped she did. And I honestly hoped the four of us could continue to go out together, though I wouldn't blame Tanya if she decided she'd rather not. Despite moments of awkwardness, I was glad I'd made the decision to be honest with her. It was the right thing to do.

I dropped Rose and Tanya off at their apartment before driving home. It was half past two in the morning by the time I pulled into my assigned parking spot and I was dead on my feet. Thank God I didn't have an early morning class on Tuesdays, I thought to myself. In fact, my first class wasn't until after lunch. Once inside, Emmett tried to grill me about my conversation with Tanya, but I told him I was tired and I wanted to go to bed. I assured him that everything was fine and that we'd talk about it tomorrow, and he seemed satisfied by my response. Wishing me a good night, he disappeared behind his bedroom door.

I took a quick shower before heading into my own room. I reeked of smoke, and even though I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, I smelled of booze, too. The shower gave me a second wind, and even though I knew I should go to bed, I found myself wandering over to my computer. Sitting down, I couldn't help but Google sign language again. I was interested in learning more about it, all because of a particular brunette that continued to take up residence in my mind. It was maddening, really. Yes, Bella was extremely attractive, but I was friends with lots of attractive women that I didn't routinely picture in my mind. In fact, I could think of only one woman I'd given more than a passing thought to this entire semester… and that was Bella, which was ridiculous because I didn't even know her. But I wanted to know her. Despite the obvious communication barrier, I _wanted_ to know her. So, sitting there in front of my computer at three in the morning, I started to devise a plan.

It wouldn't be easy. I knew that. To begin with, up until today, I'd never seen Bella before. Not in the library or in any of the dining halls. Not in the gym or the student union. I'd never seen her around campus, and the only clue I had regarding her identity was the fact I'd seen her attempting to enter the College of Behavioral Sciences. Of course, if I had been paying closer attention, I might have noticed the title of one of her books. Perhaps that would have given me a clue as to her major. Then again, I was assuming that Bella was a student at the University of South Florida when this might not be the case. My hopes of finding Bella were momentarily dashed as I considered the possibility that her presence on campus today had been a fluke. If that was the case, I would probably never see her again. But I quickly pushed those thoughts aside. To the best of my ability, I really tried to be a glass half full type of person, choosing to remain optimistic even under the most hopeless of circumstances. So, determined that I _would_ find Bella, I set the groundwork for our next meeting. It was simple, really. I was taking baby steps.

First things first, I would learn how to sign my name.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	3. Life as She Knows It

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my spectacular beta and to **aerobee82**, **JenEsme **and **b4bystar** for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely **Nayarit** from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 3: Life as She Knows It**

There was something wrong with my plan – the one I'd devised at 3 o'clock in the morning the night before when I couldn't sleep. I'd forgotten to take into account the giant, who just happened to be sitting next to Bella on a bench directly outside the College of Behavioral Sciences.

Yes – I found her.

It had been simple, really. I'd retraced my steps from Monday, passing by the College of Behavioral Sciences today at approximately 11:50 a.m. At first there had been no sign of Bella, which didn't surprise me. I'd never seen her before, and I generally passed by the building at the same time every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So I decided to have a seat underneath a nearby oak tree to wait and see if maybe she'd make an appearance later on.

This was absolutely crazy. I wasn't even going to pretend that it wasn't. Anyone could accuse me of stalking the poor girl, and I would have no reasonable defense. I _was_ stalking her, only I wasn't some crazed psychopath. I had no desire to harm her. I only wanted to properly introduce myself and let her know that she need not have apologized to me the other day. To be completely honest, I wasn't exactly sure why she had. It wasn't as if she'd done anything wrong. I was the one who, albeit unintentionally, snuck up on her and startled her. It was _my_ place to apologize, not hers. The thought did cross my mind that she was apologizing for her friend's gruff behavior, but again… that wasn't her fault either. Of course, I realized I would have a very difficult time communicating all of this to her. I'd spent several hours last evening sitting in front of my computer, trying to learn a handful of signs, and it was still all I could do just to spell my name. Finger spelling seemed useful, but it was a bitch to learn, and I didn't yet have the alphabet memorized.

_One step at a time_, I reminded myself before I became too overwhelmed by my task.

Truth be told, my task was relatively simple. Assuming I found Bella, which thankfully I had, I was going to approach her (much more carefully this time) and introduce myself. I was counting on her recognizing me, which hopefully meant she wouldn't brush me off. I really wanted a moment of her time. Actually, I'd need more than a moment. It would probably take me several minutes just to sign my name. I realized I could have written it down on a scrap of paper, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make an effort to speak to her, and I wanted her to recognize that I'd made the effort. Maybe then, she'd be open to getting to know me. I'd even gone so far as purposely placing a brand new spiral notebook in my backpack for this specific purpose.

But now she was sitting outside the College of Behavioral Sciences, happily signing away with her friend, and I wasn't sure what to do. I could leave… give up and just walk away based upon the very real possibility that this man was her boyfriend. Or, I could sit and wait it out. There was no harm in observing her, right? I told myself that if there were any outward signs of a relationship between the two of them, I would leave. _And I would_. I wasn't looking to cause any trouble, and if Bella really was dating this guy, I was certain he wouldn't appreciate me approaching his girlfriend. But the more I watched the two of them together, the more convinced I became that they weren't dating. Though their hands moved freely between each other, they never once touched. They maintained a respectable distance from each other, which made me feel slightly better. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the two of them got up. Much to my relief, Bella and her giant of a friend set out in opposite directions. She was about to enter the building. Here was my chance.

Trying to appear as casual as possible, as if I had not just been secretly spying on her, I rose from the ground to my feet. I stretched, under the guise that I had simply been resting, and then grabbed my backpack off of the ground. Bella already had her hand on the door and was about to walk inside. I couldn't chance losing her, so I picked up my pace, walking briskly to the front of the building.

I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I waited until Bella was safely inside before opening the door. Even then, I was cautious. I'd done some research on the deaf over the last several days, and I now knew that there was a right and a wrong way of catching their attention. I could walk to Bella's side and wave my hand up and down in a sweeping motion, or I could gently tap her on the shoulder. I opted for the gentle tap. My reasons were twofold. First, it gave me an excuse to touch her. Second, I didn't like the idea of waving my hand by her face. It seemed inherently rude. Gathering my courage, I walked until I was only a pace or two behind Bella. Then, reaching out, I very carefully tapped her shoulder.

I was nervous as hell when Bella turned in my direction, which I can assure you, _never_ happens. It was usually the other way around. But for some reason, I wanted to impress her. I wanted her to like me. At first, Bella's face registered surprise, but it was clear she recognized me and to my great relief, I watched as surprise morphed into joy – definite joy. Bella's joy pleased me to no end, buoying my spirits and giving me the confidence I needed to proceed. Still, I was shaking like crazy as I slowly drew my hands in front of me. I was so fucking nervous. I really wanted to get this right. I didn't want to look like a complete idiot while trying to do something as simple as telling her my name. Very carefully, I made my hand into a flat palm before resting it against my chest.

_My_…

Next, I carefully stacked the fore and middle fingers of each of my hands on top of each other in the manner of an "x", tapping twice.

_Name_…

Here came the hard part – finger spelling. I took a deep breath, taking care to think about each letter of my name before I formed it.

_E…D…W…A…R…D_

Bella's face broke out in a wide grin. Her smile was so contagious I couldn't help but beam at her in return. I wondered what we looked like, the two of us standing together in the hall. Traffic continued to move around us, but time was in fact standing still for me. With her own hand, Bella repeated my signs back to me. But then Bella surprised me. Instead of finger spelling her name as I expected her to do, she formed what I was fairly certain was the letter "b" and swept it in front of her in the manner of an arc. I was at once confused, and I guess my face gave me away because Bella reached out and touched my arm – just as she'd done the other day. She held it there for a moment before very slowly finger spelling her name.

_*B…E…L…L…A*_

And then she repeated the motion she'd made before – the one where she swept the letter "b" in front of her. Understanding dawned on me then, and I realized this must be her sign name. It was certainly easier than finger spelling. Suddenly, an idea came to me. I knew it was risky, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. I wanted to sign something else to Bella, and there was only one other word I could think to use. I only hoped I wouldn't make her uncomfortable. Very slowly, I signed her name. Then, making sure to hold her eyes steady with my own, I relaxed my right hand and brought it to the center of my face, pulling it around in a twisting motion and ending in a fist.

_Beautiful_…

Bella inhaled sharply, her expressive brown eyes growing wide with surprise, and I immediately panicked. _Fuck_. Had I crossed the line? Had I made her feel uncomfortable? I was vaguely aware of several students standing off to the side. They snickered quietly, obviously having understood what I said. I was suddenly very self-conscious, mentally berating myself for being so direct, but then Bella smiled at me, and it was perhaps the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. It was timid and shy at first, but then it transformed into one of pure delight. I returned her smile without thought, overwhelmed by the way this girl made me feel. Bella reached out and hesitantly gripped my wrist then, surprising me. My eyes traveled to where her fingers wrapped around my hand and then back to her face. Bella didn't need to sign anything to me (not that I would have understood anyway), the question was clear on her face.

_*Is this okay?*_

She was seeking my approval, questioning whether or not it was okay to touch me, and I slowly nodded my head. She smiled that shy smile again- a smile that would surely kill me, then led me in the direction of a classroom. While passing through the door, my eyes met with a laminated piece of paper that read: Basic American Sign Language. I thought that was odd seeing as that Bella was obviously fluent in sign, but then she headed to the front of the room and placed her bag on the table there and it suddenly all made sense. Bella wasn't a student… she was the teacher. I hadn't been expecting that, and I found myself wondering how old she was. She didn't look much older than me. But if she was a teacher, she had to at least be in grad school. I was still trying to process this information when Bella pulled an iPad from her bag.

An iPad. _Of course._ Suddenly I felt silly for having brought along a spiral bound notebook. I may as well have been living in the Stone Age.

Bella opened a word processing document, then immediately set to work typing.

***I don't have much time. I have a class to teach in fifteen minutes, but I want to apologize for what happened on Monday. You startled me, is all. Thank you for trying to help. It was very kind of you.***

I read what Bella wrote before pulling her iPad in my direction. I was about to type my response when she reached out and placed her hand on top of mine, stopping me. I looked up at her, and she waved her right hand in a circular motion, seeming to indicate I should speak. But how would she understand me? I stared at her, dumbfounded, as a knowing smile spread across her face. She quickly moved to type something on her iPad.

***I can read lips.***

She could read lips? I narrowed my eyes at her, having a hard time believing what she said to be true. But she continued to stand there, smirking at me.

"You have an unfair advantage, you know," I said out loud, testing her. She shrugged her shoulders before typing a response.

***Not my fault I have superior capabilities. ;)***

I read what she wrote, liking that she was confident, if not a bit cocky. And was that a wink? My eyes moved to hers and she smiled at me, letting me know her comment had been made in jest. I shook my head. Thus far, our exchange had gone much differently than I had imagined. Bella was… playful, and I liked that. But then the reality of our situation settled in and without warning, I was struck by a sudden sense of sadness. Bella was completely capable of communicating with me, yet I lacked the skills necessary to carry on even the most basic of conversations.

Though I didn't consider myself an open book, Bella must have noticed my change in demeanor because suddenly, her hand was waving up and down in front of me. I have to say, rudeness aside, that particular method of capturing a person's attention _does_ work. I watched as she typed something on her iPad. When she was done, she pushed it in my direction.

***Don't be sad, Green Eyes. I understand you better than you think.***

I was caught off guard by her words. How could… how did she know what I was… Jesus, this girl was perceptive. She seemed to know what I was thinking without me even having to say a thing. And she'd called me Green Eyes. I was pretty sure I liked Bella… _a lot_.

A silence settled between us then, which, under our circumstances, meant I didn't speak and Bella refrained from typing anything on her iPad. Instead, we just looked at each other for a moment, each of us quietly studying the other, sizing each other up. Soon, students started appearing at the door. A pair of young girls strolled by, and I was pretty sure one of them whispered that I was "fucking hot". My thoughts were confirmed when Bella chuckled softly by my side. She looked up at me then, grinning as she reached for her iPad.

***Well, Green Eyes. Class is about to begin. Thanks for seeking me out. It was really nice meeting you.* **

I frowned when I read Bella's words. It was nice meeting me? I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that. It seemed so… dismissive. Even though we just met, I didn't want her dismissing me. I wanted to remain present and accounted for, preferably as a part of her life. I hesitated for a moment before taking her iPad from her. I realized I could just as easily speak, but I wanted some privacy - something a classroom full of students couldn't afford me.

**Will I see you again?**

I took a chance asking the question, knowing I might appear too forward, but Bella hadn't seemed to mind my forward nature when I called her beautiful earlier. She'd also assigned me a nickname, Green Eyes, and if I was a betting man, I would say that indicated at least a mild degree of interest on her part. Bella carefully considered my question before typing out her response.

***That depends on you.***

It depended on me? How? I looked at Bella, my head cocked to the side as I tried to figure out what she meant.

***You know where I work. I'll leave it up to you to come find me.***

_Come find me_… nothing else mattered to me in that moment, only those three little words. Come find me. Bella was issuing me an invitation, an invitation to get to know her, and it had been a long time since anything had made me so happy. I was certain my face reflected that emotion - pure, unadulterated happiness, and I did nothing to hide it. Thankfully, it appeared I wasn't the only one feeling that way. Bella was currently biting down on her lower lip in a futile attempt to rein in her smile. God, it was such a beautiful smile. And I would have stood there, staring at it indefinitely and mirroring it with a silly grin of my own if a student sitting somewhere in the back of the classroom hadn't cleared his throat.

"I'll see you later," I mouthed as I slowly backed away. Bella motioned for me to wait as she quickly scribbled something on a scrap piece of paper. She folded the paper in half before pressing it into my palm and I smiled at her, waving a final farewell before walking out into the hall. Once there, I immediately opened my hand to look at what she'd written.

***I'm counting on it.***

_I'm counting on it_. I turned Bella's words over in my head. Bella was counting on me to find her. This thought alone had me grinning like a mad fool. Today had gone better than I could have ever hoped for, and if I was interested in Bella before, I was thoroughly enthralled with her now. She was amazing. She said so much with so few words. And the fact that she could read my lips blew my mind. It was almost as if we'd carried on a normal conversation.

_Almost_…

The truth of the matter was I was limited in my ability to understand Bella. She had to resort to typing on an iPad to communicate her thoughts to me, and I didn't like that. I didn't like that I couldn't look at her face as she "spoke" to me and I didn't like that I couldn't understand the movement of her hands. I wanted to. God… I really fucking wanted to understand her, but would that ever be possible? I'd watched her and her friend signing back and forth to each other on two separate occasions now, and I knew that sign language wasn't just something one could easily pick up. On the contrary, it is something that requires a lot of practice before one can even hope to carry on an intelligent conversation. That thought depressed me more than I cared to admit.

As I walked home that afternoon, I had a lot to think about. Two days ago, I probably would have rolled my eyes if somebody had told me I was about to meet a girl, a deaf girl no less who would turn my world upside down. That sort of thing just didn't happen. But I guess it did… because it _was_ happening to me. And it was enough to put a spring in my step and a smile on my face, and at least for the time being, that was more than good enough for me.

I could figure out the mechanics of everything later.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	4. Always on My Mind

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my spectacular beta and to **aerobee82**, **JenEsme **and **b4bystar** for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely **Nayarit** from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 4: Always on My Mind**

The funny thing about liking someone is you think about them.

All the fucking time.

That's how I knew I liked Bella. Since accidentally finding my way into her life four days ago, I thought about her all the time.

Bella's eyes.

Bella's brown eyes.

My fingers tripped up, creating a cacophony of noise in the practice room, and I was pretty sure Chopin just rolled over in his grave. I'd be busy digging my own grave if I didn't stop thinking about Bella and focus on Chopin's Polonaise #6 in A Flat. This was the second of two pieces I'd be performing in several weeks, and I must have been smoking crack when I elected to play it. The extremely fast scales and arpeggios, not to mention broken and wide fingered chords, were kicking my ass. It was a good thing I had Schubert all but wrapped up. I'd need to give Chopin my undivided attention if I didn't want to jeopardize my piano performance grade.

I glanced at my watch. It was half past eleven. Organic Chemistry had been cancelled this morning and I'd wandered over to the School of Music practice rooms to kill some time before finding Bella. I was much less anxious about approaching her today than I was on Wednesday, but I was still nervous. Now that the ice had been broken, I wondered what we would talk about. Would conversation flow naturally? Would it be awkward communicating primarily through an iPad? Did we have anything in common? I knew the only way to find answers to these questions was to sit down with Bella and try to have more than a five minute conversation with her. Unfortunately, that wasn't likely to happen in the few minutes we were afforded together before her class.

I was too distracted to practice, so I packed away my sheet music and headed across campus to the convenience store. I was grabbing a Coke from the refrigerator when Tanya appeared at my side.

"Hey," she smiled, and I could tell from the way her eyes darted about that she was slightly nervous. I assumed it had to do with what happened Monday night. Clearing my throat, I smiled down at her in greeting, doing my best to make her feel comfortable. I didn't want things to be awkward between us.

"Hey, Tanya. How's it going?"

"It's going good," she replied. "I was just over in the Marshall Center studying for finals. Thought I'd take a break and grab a snack." Tanya waved a bag of white cheddar popcorn by her side, indicating her intended purchase.

"Yeah, I'll be heading in that direction later tonight. It's crackdown time," I laughed.

"You're not going into Ybor City?" she wondered. "I think Rose and Emmett are thinking of going bar hopping."

"Nah," I shook my head. "Unlike them, I've got my priorities straight," I joked. Tanya laughed along with me, but it was somewhat forced. I was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable myself when she spoke.

"Listen, Edward, about Monday night…"

I inwardly groaned. I didn't really want to talk about Monday night. Not because I was bothered by what happened but because some things were better left in the past. I tried to politely wave Tanya off, letting her know that everything was fine between us, but she interrupted me.

"Look, I know we agreed to forget about what happened, and I fully intend to do so. It's just… I've been thinking about it all week, and I'm kind of embarrassed. I wasn't really thinking straight, and I don't want you to think I'm that type of girl. I don't proposition guys like that, and believe me, it won't happen again. I like you Edward, I really do, but I understand you're not interested. I want that to be clear. I just wish Emmett and Rose would cool it with the matchmaking business," she laughed, trying to add a bit of levity to the situation. I laughed along with her, in the hopes she'd see that everything really was okay between us.

"They're definitely persistent," I agreed.

"Yeah…"

"But we're adults," I reminded her. "We make our own decisions."

"We do. I just really don't want there to be any awkwardness between us," she admitted. "Rose and Emmett – they spend a lot of time together. And I know how close you and Emmett are…" Tanya trailed off, and I stared at her for a moment before making up my mind whether or not to make my next move. I decided it was a friendly gesture, and I was hoping it would do the job of reassuring her that we were all right. So, I pulled her into a quick hug.

"There's no awkwardness here," I said as I hugged her lightly to me, and I was pretty sure she breathed a sigh of relief. We stepped back from our embrace then, and Tanya smiled up at me.

"So, are you heading home?" she asked, obviously trying to make casual conversation. I started walking towards the checkout area at the front of the store and she followed along.

"Meeting a friend, actually," I said without thinking. It was amazing how easily it rolled off my tongue. Bella already felt like a friend, even though I'd only known her for a matter of days. Thankfully, Tanya didn't press me for more information and after we each checked out, we waved goodbye before heading in opposite directions.

While walking to the College of Behavioral Sciences, I thought about Tanya. She really was a nice girl. I was glad she'd approached me in the convenience store. I hadn't really given Monday night much thought this past week, but if she was feeling awkward, I was glad she cleared the air. Undoubtedly, the four of us would all be going out again, and it was important to me that we all felt comfortable. Of course, our situation would be a lot less awkward if Emmett and Rose stopped trying to fix us up. I'd spoken to Emmett about that on Tuesday, and he agreed to leave it alone, but I had my doubts he would hold off for very long. For whatever reason, he was convinced Tanya and I were perfect for each other. But in _my_ mind, there was only one woman I was interested in.

That woman was presently sitting on the same bench she'd occupied on Wednesday, only today, she was alone. I smiled when I saw her, stopping and taking a moment to study her from afar. She was so fucking gorgeous - particularly today, with a soft breeze blowing through her hair. Her hair was down, and I chuckled softly as she repeatedly brushed uncooperative strands from her face, blown there by the wind. Almost as if she sensed my presence, Bella suddenly looked up from her book. Her eyes scanned the horizon, and I imagined she was looking for me. I imagined she was wondering if I was coming to find her. She didn't see me, and moments later she looked down. I watched her for a little while longer before heading her way.

I approached Bella from the front this time, so there was no need to tap her on her shoulder. When I was standing five or so feet away, she looked up on her own. My breath hitched as she smiled at me, and if I wasn't mistaken, she looked relieved. I pondered that for a moment, wondering if maybe she'd doubted I would come. How could she doubt that? I was completely under her spell.

I waved hello as I took a seat beside her. Bella turned to face me and waved back. Then, having a trick or two up my sleeve, I surprised her by asking her how she was… in sign language. Bella smiled at me, clearly impressed. Very slowly, she spread apart the five fingers of her right hand and brought her thumb to the center of her chest.

_*Fine… thank you_.*

She pointed to me then, her brows arched high in question. I confidently answered her back.

_Fine_.

Unfortunately, that was it as far as my newly acquired sign language skills were concerned. I'd wanted to try and learn more, but the end of the semester was rapidly approaching and I had several finals to study for. Bella pulled her iPad from her backpack and started typing away.

***I'm impressed, Green Eyes. You've been studying.* **

I knew she was referring to my use of sign language, and I shrugged my shoulders as if it were no big deal, even though the truth of the matter was I was basking in her praise.

"I may have picked up a thing or two," I said, making sure to look Bella directly in the eye.

Bella smirked.

***No need to be modest. You now know more sign language than ninety-nine percent of the population. Thank you for making the effort.* **

Bella pushed the iPad back in my direction and I read her response. I stared at the words for a moment, pretty sure there was a deeper meaning to them I was somehow missing. Something lingered there, beneath the surface, but I wasn't quite sure what it was.

"I wanted to," I said, holding Bella's gaze and hoping she could see how sincere I was. I think she could, because she nodded in response before turning her attention back to her iPad.

***I believe you.***

I was glad Bella believed me. I wanted her to trust me and to understand that I wanted to get to know her on her terms. I wondered briefly if this was something new for her. I wondered how many people offered her a token hello before running in the opposite direction. It took effort to get to know someone like Bella, effort most people probably wouldn't make. Perhaps that was the look of relief I'd seen on her face only moments before. Relief that I'd actually made the effort. Of course, if she was relieved, it would imply that she _wanted_ me to make the effort. I really hoped that was the case. I took her iPad from her then, a question suddenly popping into my head. She resisted, apparently preferring to read my lips instead, but I laid my flattened palm against the center of my chest and made several small, circular motions.

_Please?_

Bella seemed pleased with my use of yet another new sign and thus handed over the iPad.

**I'm sorry. I can see that you prefer to read lips. I'm just not sure how this works. How much can I say at one time? How slowly do I need to speak? Do I need to use simple words? I don't mean to offend you. I'm not implying you're not intelligent because obviously, you are. I just want to try and get this right. **

Bella peered at the screen from over my shoulder, reading as I typed. I heard her laugh softly when I asked about using simple words, but she didn't seem to be upset. Thank God for that. I really didn't want to offend her, but at the same time, I didn't understand how lip reading worked. It seemed awfully difficult to me. This morning, as an experiment of sorts, I'd turned on CNN and put the TV on mute. I watched the anchors closely as they delivered the news but fuck if I could understand a single word they said. Of course, Bella was a seasoned lip reader, but I did wonder exactly how much she could understand when I spoke to her.

***LOL… that's a lot of questions, but I'm flattered that you care enough to ask. The truth is, I probably only catch sixty to seventy percent of what you say. Even then, there are misunderstandings. For example, I routinely mix up words starting with "p" and "b". They look very similar to me. Speaking slowly helps, and enunciating does too. Simple thoughts are also easier to understand. I've been trained to watch for commonly used words and phrases.***

Trained? I frowned at her use of that word. For some reason or another, I didn't like the sound of it. Animals are trained, people are taught. I raised my brows in question, slowly enunciating my next question, just as she'd said to do.

"Trained?" I asked.

** *Yes, trained. That's the best way of describing it. My teacher would reward me with candy when I got a word right.* **

Bella laughed quietly beside me, but it was a humorless laugh, as if she were recalling an unpleasant that I'd upset her, I tugged the iPad in my direction, apologizing for my question.

***It's all right, Green Eyes. It's not your fault. It was a long time ago, and I have to say, my training comes in handy. It helps me to understand you…***

I looked up at Bella and she smiled shyly at me, and for the first time since meeting her, I had the urge to kiss her. The urge wasn't entirely unexpected. Bella was goddamn beautiful, and with each passing moment, I found myself liking her more and more. But I knew that I couldn't try to kiss her. Something told me this relationship we were forming was tenuous at best, and I'd have to take things slowly if I didn't want to scare her off. I got the distinct impression that I needed to earn Bella's trust, and I fully intended to do so.

"So, no iPad?" I asked, pulling it from her grasp and waving it in the air. Bella shrugged before grabbing it back and typing out her response.

***Use your judgment. Some thoughts are definitely better written down. But I will say this - I prefer to look at your face when we communicate and not at a computer screen.***

Fuck. I was an idiot. Of course she did. Hadn't I thought the very same thing the other day? _I_ might not have a choice in the matter – I had no other means by which to communicate with Bella than through her iPad. But _she_ did have a choice, and I wanted to do whatever made her happy.

"All right," I said, looking her straight in the eye. "I'll speak to you, but if there's something you don't understand, please tell me."

This was important to me. If we were really going to try to be friends, I didn't want there to be any unnecessary obstacles for us to have to overcome. I didn't want to have to sort through avoidable misunderstandings. Bella smiled widely at me in response, and then, instead of typing me a message, she did something that surprised me. She signed to me. Of course, if I understood her correctly, she only signed three words.

_*I'll tell you_.*

"I" and "you" were self-explanatory, and "tell" wasn't all that difficult to figure out; it was clear she was responding to my question. Still, it made me ridiculously happy to watch her hands and face and understand what she said. It also made me wonder if there would ever come a time when we wouldn't need an iPad to communicate.

The next several weeks found me meeting up with Bella before her Basic American Sign Language class. I wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence or if she asked him to stay away, but I hadn't seen her friend, the giant, since the day they were sitting together on the bench. I still didn't know who he was. Bella and I never talked about things like that. I never asked her about her friends or her family and she never asked me about mine. Instead, we chatted about things like school and outside interests. It was all very mundane, yet at the same time wholly significant. We were getting to know each other, a little bit at a time.

During this time, I found out that Bella was a second year grad student studying Communication Sciences & Disorders. Her area of concentration was deaf education, and once she graduated, she planned to utilize her degree by teaching the deaf in the public school system here in Tampa. I also discovered that Bella was twenty-three, which was only one year older than me. I liked that. She was focused and mature, and she seemed to have a pretty good idea of what she wanted to do with her life. I thought she was amazing, really. She explained to me that she used an interpreter for her lectures, but with that one exception, she did everything else on her own. She never let her disability stand in the way of achieving her dreams, and that really said a lot. According to her, only a small percentage of deaf people actually graduated from college with a four year degree and even fewer went on to earn advanced degrees.

One day before class, Bella asked me about my major. This was the first time there was any hint of awkwardness between the two of us. When Bella realized I was a double major, studying both music and medicine, she grew suddenly quiet. And if I wasn't mistaken, remorse briefly swept across her face. She looked away before I could be certain, but I realized then that I'd hit a nerve. Bella _never_ looks away. For the rest of our time together that day, she barely managed to look me in the eye. We talked a little bit using her iPad, but I knew she wasn't really with me; her heart wasn't really in it. I didn't press her to share her feelings. It was pretty clear why she was upset, and I wasn't sure what I could say to make it better. The truth of the matter is she's deaf. She would never be able to hear music. Nothing I could say or do would ever change that.

One week later, my semester had officially come to an end. It was Friday morning, and I'd just taken my Organic Chemistry final. It went well. Actually, I was feeling pretty good about all my exams. I'd knocked my piano exam out of the park despite the fact I hadn't been able to think straight for the last several weeks. Bella was always on my mind these days, and that had posed a bit of a challenge as I tried to prepare for finals. But finals were over now, and I was happy to be standing in line at the Starbuck's located inside the library, waiting to pay for two coffees.

After paying, I exited the library and headed towards the spot I knew Bella would be waiting for me. I was excited about seeing her today. I had to miss our previous meeting due to a study group and today was the last day I would see her before the start of Christmas break. I was flying home to Chicago tomorrow, and Bella would be flying across the country to her home state of Washington in order to spend the holidays with her parents. It would be close to three weeks before I saw her again, and that thought upset me more than it probably should. We were just friends. In fact, the only time we spent together was the twenty or so minutes before her class, three days a week. So really, there wasn't any reason for me to be upset. There wasn't any reason… but still, I was. I tried very hard to push those thoughts aside and put on a happy face as I approached her. Luckily, it wasn't all that hard to do. She had me grinning like a stupid fool the moment she looked up and caught my eye.

_*Edward.*_

She signed my name by forming the letter "e" with her right hand and shaking it gently back and forth in front of her. She'd only recently started doing this, and I wondered if she had taken it upon herself to assign me an official sign name. If she had, I wasn't sure what I thought about the chosen gesture. It seemed so… uninspired. I'd learned that Bella's sign name, assigned by her parents when she was a toddler, was actually the letter "b", formed in the shape of a rainbow. She was the multi-colored light of her parent's lives, she joked. I wanted to ask her what the meaning behind my name was, but I didn't have the courage. I was afraid of what she might say. Nice guy, funny friend… all of those would have been flattering, but not what I wanted to hear.

Bella grinned when I approached, eagerly accepting the coffee I handed her. I'd only just started bringing her coffee. If I was being honest, I was hoping it would add a little more permanence to our routine. I wanted to create the expectation that I would be there before class, coffee in hand and ready to talk. Of course, this would all change next semester. Our schedules would undoubtedly be different, but I was hoping we could still find the time to meet right here, at our little bench. These past four weeks had been amazing, and most of that was the result of conversations that had taken place right here.

It was a chilly day in Tampa, not uncommon at this time of the year, and I as I sat down beside her, I noticed that Bella's cheeks were red. Without thinking, I lifted my hand to her face, resting it gently on her skin. My hand was warm from holding the coffee cup, but her cheek was cold to the touch. I let my hand linger there for a moment, warming her flushed skin before slowly drawing it away.

_You're freezing. _

Bella smiled shyly, nodding in response before taking a sip of her coffee. She hadn't protested my hand on her face, and that made me feel incredibly happy.

_Do you want to go inside?_

Bella shook her head.

_*I'm fine. It's a beautiful day. Let's sit and talk.*_

It still amazed me that after only four weeks time, Bella and I were already able to have a very basic conversation in sign language. Together, we'd been working on some of the more commonly used signs. Bella had also taken to signing simple phrases, using exaggerated facial expressions and pronounced gestures to help her get her point across. I think we amused ourselves, although I'm sure we looked a little ridiculous. Our time together almost always devolved into at least one fit of laughter, but that was one of the nicest things about spending time with Bella. We laughed… a lot. We were happy and silly, but then just as easily we slipped into more serious conversation. That's when we would pull out the iPad.

Unfortunately, twenty minutes went by much too fast, and it seemed as if our time was always up before we had a chance to dig too deep. I wanted to get to know Bella better. Much better. I wanted to reach beneath the surface and learn more about her life and what made her tick. I was really hoping we'd have the chance to do that next semester. I was already thinking about asking her out – to lunch. It was time to take this friendship to the next level and start spending time together outside of school.

Setting my coffee on the bench beside me, I tugged Bella's iPad from her hand.

**Are you packed and ready to go? What time is your flight? Thanks to my meddling sister, I'm flying out at the crack of dawn. I'm not happy about that.**

Bella smiled at me, her brows arching up in surprise.

***You have a sister?* **

Bella signed the word for sister and I repeated it back to her.

**Yes. A younger sister, but only by eighteen months. Her name is Alice. We're very close. **

I paused for a moment after writing that. Alice and I _were_ close, but it occurred to me that I had yet to tell her about Bella. Part of me felt guilty about that. Alice told me everything about her life. Sometimes, _too_ much. But here I was - holding out on her. I guess that I thought it would be better to tell her about Bella in person. Or maybe I was just worried about what my family and friends would think. Of course, Bella and I were just friends, so it really shouldn't make a difference either way…

***Tell me about her**.*

Bella's request drew me from my musings, and I smiled as I typed out what I hoped would be deemed an acceptable response by Alice.

**It's kind of hard to describe Alice. She's not your average person, that's for sure. She's a force of life. People are naturally attracted to her, and I guarantee you she puts a smile on everyone's face. If you think I'm friendly, you should meet her.**

I chuckled softly as I thought of my baby sister, listening as Bella laughed in unison with me. As was her habit as of late, she was reading what I typed from over my shoulder.

**It's more than that, though. Alice is incredibly intuitive. She reads people well and has an uncanny ability to guide them in making the right decisions. She has always been my go to person when I need advice. **

This was true. My sister was my confidant, and that thought made me feel all the more guilty for having withheld information about Bella. Thankfully, there would be plenty of time to discuss whatever it was that was going on between Bella and me over the holidays.

***She sounds wonderful.* **

Bella looked up at me and smiled, and I smiled back.

_She is, _I signed before using the iPad to ask Bella whether or not she had any brothers and sisters. She shifted beside me as she read the question, warm breath exiting her mouth in a soft sigh. I turned my head in her direction, peering into her eyes, but it was impossible to know what lay hidden behind them. For as expressive as Bella was, she was also an expert at hiding her emotions when she wanted to.

_*No_,*she signed before tugging the iPad onto her lap.

***I was born deaf. Not surprisingly, it was unexpected, and it was a lot for my parents to handle. They had to learn a whole new language just to communicate with me, and it wasn't just that. There was speech therapy, lip-reading, learning how to properly read and write… so, yeah… they just didn't have the time or energy to take care of another child.***

I sat on the bench beside Bella, quietly considering everything she'd shared. She had just revealed more about herself in one paragraph than she had the entire time we'd known each other. I was pleased she felt comfortable enough with me to share such intimate details of her life, and now that she had, I was eager to learn more. But when I went to take the iPad from her, anxious to ask another question, Bella slipped it from my hands, gently shaking her head no. There wasn't anything rude about her actions, but her intent was clear. She was effectively shutting down our conversation – one that had only just begun, and I couldn't help but be disappointed. She'd done that before, most notably on the day she learned that music was one of my majors. I wanted to call her out on it, to tell her that she could trust me with anything she had to say, but I knew that now wasn't the time to push - not before we were about to part ways for several weeks.

I watched as Bella typed something on her iPad.

***So, I should probably get going. I need to get to class a little early today in case any of my students have questions before the exam.* **

Bella looked up at me and I nodded. I wouldn't let her see that I was hurt she'd shut me out. After all, she _had_ let me in I reminded myself… at least a little. I reached to take the iPad from Bella and this time she let it go.

**Have a merry Christmas, Bella. I guess I'll see you next semester.**

I realized my response was rather lackluster, but that's honestly how I felt. I wasn't going to pretend to be anything different. Bella stared at me for a brief moment before reaching for her iPad and slipping it into her backpack. Then, turning away from me, I watched as she tore a piece of paper from her notebook. She smiled softly as she scribbled something down.

_*Merry Christmas, Edward_,* she signed as she rose from her seat, and her smile was so warm and genuine I couldn't help but smile in return.

_Merry Christmas, Bella_, I signed back. And then, in a moment of time that passed much too quickly, Bella bent and kissed my cheek. Afterwards, she pressed the piece of paper she'd been writing on into my hand and offered me one last smile and a wave before walking away. And then I was alone on our bench. I immediately opened her note, curious as to what it said. I smiled from ear to ear when I read it. She may not have been original, but it was exactly what I wanted to hear.

***I'm counting on it, Green Eyes.***

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	5. Bizarre Love Triangle

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my spectacular beta and to **aerobee82**, **JenEsme **and **b4bystar** for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely **Nayarit** from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 5: Bizarre Love Triangle**

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon, and I had just finished packing my bag for my trip to Chicago. I placed it by my bedroom door so that all I would have to do in the morning would be to grab it on my way out. I had to be at Tampa International Airport by no later than 5:30 in the morning for my 7:00 a.m. flight, so the more I could do now to make my departure less complicated the better. I had already arranged for a cab, so I was all set on that front. Really, there wasn't much left to do. I figured I would order a pizza later on and maybe see if Emmett wanted to go out and grab a couple of beers somewhere close. After that, I would call it an early night.

Shutting my bedroom door, I walked over to my computer and opened up Internet Explorer. As was my habit as of late, I accessed my Favorites list and scrolled down until I found . After a bit of searching around, I decided that this was the best site for helping a person learn sign language. I tried to learn several new signs a day and then practice them with Bella when I saw her. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be possible for the next several weeks, but I decided I wouldn't let that stop me from learning new signs. In fact, maybe I could impress Bella by learning to sign a poem or something similar over Christmas. It would be worth seeing the look of surprise on her face if I did.

I was in the middle of practicing signs for familial relationships when my bedroom door flew open.

"Jesus, Emmett," I mumbled. "Why the hell don't you ever knock?"

"Why the hell don't you just lock the door?" he ribbed back, lobbing a pillow in my direction.

I rolled my eyes before swiveling around in my chair to face him.

"Hey, you want to go grab a beer or two? Nothing crazy. I've got an early morning tomorrow."

"Thanks to your crazy sister," Emmett reminded me, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Actually, Rose and I were thinking about going out. She and Tanya want to go dancing. You know, to celebrate the end of the semester and all."

I groaned, not really caring for that idea.

"Man, what is up with you?" Emmett laughed, sensing my reluctance. "You never want to go out anymore. This wouldn't have anything to do with Tanya, would it?"

"What? No!" I exclaimed. "I told you. We cleared the air. We're cool with each other. It's just… fuck, I don't know."

"Damn, you're a moody bastard," Emmett laughed. And then I watched as he narrowed his eyes and honed in on my computer screen. "What the hell, Cullen? You're researching sign language again?" Emmett was still laughing, but immediately sobered when he saw that I wasn't joining in.

"Edward?" he asked, and I fidgeted under his gaze.

"It's nothing," I mumbled. "I met a girl, that's all. She's deaf and I've been trying to learn a little sign language in order to communicate with her." I shrugged as if it was no big deal. And really, it wasn't. At least I didn't think so. But apparently Emmett did, which was exactly why I had decided against mentioning anything sooner.

"A girl? he asked, sounding slightly incredulous. "You met a deaf girl?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" I huffed a bit more defensively than I intended, and Emmett immediately put his hands up in the air in a conciliatory manner.

"Whoa, no need to get defensive. It just… surprises me. That's all. You haven't mentioned anything about a girl…"

"That's because there's nothing to tell," I interrupted him. "We're just friends," I explained, trying my best to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"You're not acting like you're just friends," Emmett deadpanned. I looked him in the eye, kind of irritated by his statement, but he didn't back down.

"Look, Edward, I'm just calling it like I see it. Case in point - you're defensive. You've also been acting weird, ever since… wait! When did you meet this girl?" Emmett suddenly asked, and I was pretty sure he had figured it all out.

"Right after Thanksgiving," I mumbled, and a knowing look spread across Emmett's face as he slowly nodded his head.

"I knew it," he said. "That's why you wouldn't give Tanya a chance, isn't it?" he asked, but I shook my head.

"No. It had nothing to do with that. I'm just not interested in her in that way. It had nothing to do with Bella."

"Bella?"

"Yes. My… friend – her name's Bella."

"Friend?" Emmett repeated, amusement dancing in his eyes. "I think you're kidding yourself there," he continued, and though there was a hint of a smirk on his face, it was clear he was being serious. "I think this girl means more to you than you realize."

I sighed in frustration. I hadn't really intended on having this conversation with anyone yet, let alone Emmett. I wanted a little more time to try and sort through my feelings for Bella. But now that we were having it, I figured I may as well come clean.

"Maybe she does," I admitted. "I don't know. To be honest, it's kind of taken me by surprise." Emmett nodded slowly before lowering himself to my bed.

"So… she's really deaf?" he asked. "As in, she can't hear a thing?"

"I think so," I replied as honestly as I could. The truth was I didn't really know the answer to that question. "We haven't really discussed her disability in depth," I admitted.

"So you really… talk to her?" Emmett wondered, seemingly confused. "How? I mean, you can't have learned sign language that fast…"

"I've learned a few signs," I explained. "But mostly we communicate though her iPad. She also reads lips."

"She does?" Emmett appeared just as amazed by this fact as I was.

"Yeah," I laughed. "She really does."

"That's cool," Emmett noted before falling silent. He sat on the bed, seeming to consider something before finally speaking again.

"Why haven't you said anything before now? I mean, were you planning on telling me what's going on?"

I looked directly at Emmett, trying to read the expression on his face. He didn't appear to be upset with me for holding out on him, but then again, he was my best friend. I guessed there was a certain expectation that of all people, I would tell _him_.

"I was going to tell you… at some point," I assured him. "It's just… I've spent the last few weeks trying to figure things out. At first I thought maybe it would be cool to just be friends with her. We really hit if off. She's amazing, and we have a lot of fun when we're together. But lately… well, lately I've found that my feelings are changing. And it scares the shit out of me," I admitted.

"I can see why," Emmett said. And though his words weren't meant to upset me, on some level, they did.

"It would be… complicated having a relationship with her, wouldn't it?" he wondered, and I quietly nodded my head. There was no point in pretending otherwise. "And what about her? Does she feel the same about you?"

"I don't know," I sighed, growing more and more frustrated with my situation by the minute. "We haven't had a chance to spend that much time together. We only see each other in school. At times, I think she might be interested in me, but I also get the distinct impression that I need to take things slow. I think she may have been hurt in the past."

"Hmm... well, listen. You're obviously somewhat stressed out about this…"  
>"Actually," I interrupted. "I was just fine until you came along."<p>

"Whatever, dude," Emmett laughed. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you've got a lot on your mind. Why not come out with us tonight. It'll be fun - one last hurrah before leaving for Chicago."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Last time I let you talk me into going to Ybor City as a group, things between Tanya and me were kind of uncomfortable," I pointed out.

"You're the one who said the two of you have worked things out…"

"We have," I agreed.

"And I've already told you, I respect your wishes where she's concerned," Emmett reassured me. "We'll all go out together tonight and it will be strictly platonic… I swear. So what will it be?"

And that is how I found myself in Emmett's Jeep, heading down I-75 at nine o'clock that Friday night. Tanya sat next to me in the backseat, humming along to Green Day. She looked nice tonight, and I told her so when we picked her and Rose up. I figured there was no reason for me to be impolite, and Tanya seemed very appreciate of this. She thanked me, and we had a brief discussion about how our finals went before our conversation fell flat. I didn't mind. I wasn't one to engage in small talk. I was somewhat preoccupied, anyway; I was thinking about the conversation I'd had with Emmett a few hours before.

It is funny how talking with him about Bella lent a certain degree of clarity to my feelings for her. I knew I liked her. I had known it since the day we first talked. But I don't think I realized to what degree I liked her until Emmett confronted me about it. I admit I had been worried about telling him about Bella. I knew he would probably have questions that I didn't have the answers for. I think that was the main reason why I hesitated to say anything to anyone. That and I wanted to be sure of how I felt. But I was sure now. The question was did Bella feel the same?

Ybor City was crowded when we arrived, which didn't surprise me at all. It was a Friday night and to top it off, the semester was officially over. There were people everywhere, crowded into bars and spilling out into the streets. Tanya and Rose had a couple of drinks before they left, and I was pretty sure that whatever Tanya was drinking out of her water bottle wasn't lemonade. My thoughts were confirmed when Rose swiped the bottle from her and took a quick swig. She visibly winced before handing the bottle back.

"What are you drinking, anyway?" I asked as I grabbed the bottle from Tanya's hand.

"Vodka and Crystal Light," she announced as I took a firm pull. I swallowed the liquid down, nearly choking in the process.

"Jesus, this tastes like straight vodka," I sputtered, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"What are you, a pussy?" Emmett laughed as the bottle made its way around to him. He threw it back, drinking more than Rose and I combined before coming up for air.

"Fuck, that's strong!" he exclaimed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Who's calling who a pussy now?" I joked while shoving him in the arm.

Amidst our playing around, Tanya and Rose wandered off in the direction of a cigar stand. Ybor City was famous for its hand rolled, Cuban cigars. Both Tanya and Rose were partial to the cherry flavored ones, and no sooner had Emmett and I finished off the vodka and Crystal Light than the two of them were strutting ahead of us, cigars dangling from their mouths.

"Those things are foul," I commented as we walked along behind them. "I can't believe you let Rosalie kiss you after smoking that."

"Actually, she tastes kind of good," Emmett replied with a pop of his mouth.

"Whatever," I said, giving him another playful shove. "You're full of shit and you know it."

The four of us walked along the street for a little while. A new club had recently opened up near the end that the girls wanted to check out. I was catching a nice buzz from the shots that Emmett and I downed in a bar a little ways back, and I was feeling pretty good. I didn't even mind the crowd that had gathered outside Technique. Technique had only been open since Thanksgiving, but it was already a hot spot on the strip.

Stepping into line, I glanced around at all the people waiting to get inside, and I couldn't help but chuckle as I watched a young girl rub a copious amount of lotion onto her hands. Apparently this club operated in the same manner that another popular one in the area did and stamped the hands of those under the age of twenty-one. With the lotion in place, the stamp easily rubbed off once the person was inside, allowing them to drink freely from the bar. I was never that desperate to drink inside a bar. When I was younger, I normally got trashed before going out. That or I used my fake ID. It's funny how now that I was legal, going out to bars and getting tanked didn't hold near the appeal it once did.

After what seemed like forever, the four of us were finally admitted inside, and I had to say, I was impressed. The owners of the club spared no expense. It was multi-level, with several bars on both the top and bottom floors. The dance floor was enormous, framed by collections of comfortable lounge seats and tables and booths for those who preferred to just hang out. Of course, it would be nearly impossible to carry on a conversation in this club. The music system was state of the art and the volume was pumped up so high it was difficult to hear yourself think. Emmett leaned into me, cupping his hand with his mouth and yelling something in my ear.

"What!" I yelled back, unable to hear a word he said.

Emmett gestured towards the bar then pointed at a booth in the far right hand corner of the club that was just opening up. I got the picture and headed in that direction, alone. Tanya and Rose had abandoned Emmett and me the moment we walked through the door. I assumed they were out on the dance floor, though I didn't bother trying to find them. There must have been hundreds of sweaty bodies packed together out there.

By force of habit, I let my eyes wander over the bodies of several particularly good looking women dancing nearby, but while I found them attractive I wasn't interested in approaching any of them. Not even the tall brunette whose blue eyes momentarily met mine. The hair color was right… yes. But the eyes… they were all wrong. I offered her a friendly smile before turning my attention elsewhere. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea. Unfortunately, she didn't take the hint.

"Hey, there, handsome," she greeted me after she casually strolled over to where I was sitting. She reached out with her perfectly manicured hand, letting it rest not so casually on my shoulder. "I saw you watching me on the dance floor," she continued as she began to gently rub her hand back and forth. It started to make its way into my hair, but I jerked my head away.

_Fuck, this girl was forward._

"What's wrong?" she asked, all doe-eyed and dumb. "Don't you want to dance?"

_Actually, no, I don't. You're way too fucking forward for my tastes, and did I mention that I want you to get your fucking hands off of me?_

That's what I was thinking, but of course, it's not what I said. I could be diplomatic, when necessary.

"Listen," I said, grabbing the girl's hand as firmly as I could without hurting her. I dropped it unceremoniously by her side. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm really not interested."

I was hoping I had gotten my point across by the manner in which I'd spoken to her. I was pretty brusque, and there wasn't the slightest bit of hesitation in my voice. Unfortunately, yet again, the girl couldn't take a hint. She reached out to touch me another time, and I stopped her with my hand, leveling my eyes at her.

"Don't," I calmly warned.

"Aww, come on Green Eyes, don't be like that," she purred, and I nearly lost it. Something inside me snapped when she called me Green Eyes. That's what Bella called me. I didn't want any other girl, let alone this skank, calling me that. I stood up and was about to start telling her off when Emmett approached with our beers.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as he noted my intense expression. He looked from me to the girl before quickly setting the beers down on the table. He went to move between us then but she wisely stepped away.

"Asshole," she muttered under her breath before slinking back onto the dance floor.

Emmett turned to me.

"What the hell, Edward?" he asked. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," I muttered, reaching behind me to grab my beer off the table. I chugged almost the entire bottle before slamming it back down. _Jesus, it was hot in here_.

Emmett started to laugh.

"I can't take you anywhere, can I?" he asked, an amused expression creeping across his face. "The girls just fall at your feet. Like flies." Emmett chuckled at his own joke, and I felt my scowl pull up into a reluctant grin.

"Unfortunately, the one girl I actually want to fall at my feet doesn't even know I'm interested," I sighed.

"And whose fault is that?" Emmett teased. "Nobody's but your own. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, my friend."

"Thanks for the advice," I laughed, rolling my eyes at the clichéd expression as I finished off my beer. Emmett chuckled beside me before doing the same with his.

We each polished off two more beers before Rose and Tanya made their way off the dance floor. They were both parched, so Emmett took them to the bar to get something to drink while I stayed behind to save our booth. Several minutes later, the troops returned, just as a new song began to play.

"Holy Mother, that's some bass," Emmett commented over the loud noise. It was true. Whether it had been intentional or not, the bass was definitely amped up on the music that was playing. The song was an oldie by New Order, Bizarre Love Triangle, which already had a distinctly rhythmic bass line. The additional bass made the club vibrate. I could literally feel the floors shaking beneath my feet.

Wondering what exactly was going on I turned my head in the direction of the DJ booth. And when I saw him standing there, I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was him… Bella's friend.

The fucking giant was a DJ at Technique.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	6. Clocks

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my spectacular beta and to **aerobee82**, **JenEsme **and **b4bystar** for pre-reading this little story for me. The lovely **Nayarit** from ADF created my beautiful banner!

You guys are the best!

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 6 – Clocks**

I couldn't believe it. What were the chances? I hadn't seen this guy in close to a month. I was almost beginning to think I imagined him, but there he was, in the flesh, standing behind the DJ booth at Technique. His presence there was definitely unexpected, but in that moment, I could only think of one thing.

_Bella_.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was here and that her friend, the giant, was going heavy on the bass for her.

I read about this - that deaf people, even those that were profoundly deaf, were able to experience music through vibrations. This _must_ be the reason why the bass had suddenly been turned up. Bella was here on the dance floor, and I _had_ to find her.

I jumped up from the table, nearly knocking over my beer in the process. Rosalie righted it with her left hand before shooting me a _what the fuck is going on_ kind of look. I offered a rushed apology, unwilling to take the time to explain, before disappearing onto the dance floor. Once there, I was surrounded by a mass of writhing, sweaty bodies. I looked to the left and noticed that the brunette who hit on me earlier was now grinding her ass into some poor guy's groin. Thankfully, she didn't give me a second look as I pushed past her. Looking to the right, I saw more of the same. Men and women everywhere, their bodies moving seductively against one another as the music played on.

The irony of the music that was playing didn't fail to escape me. This could very well turn out to be a Bizarre Love Triangle after all. These past few weeks, I had grown complacent, telling myself that if Bella were involved with anyone else, i.e. the giant, she wouldn't be spending so much time with me. But the truth was, I knew very little about Bella's life. For all I knew, she really was dating him. Not only was she dating him, but she had accompanied him to Technique tonight, and as DJ, he was playing music especially for her. The thought drove me fucking insane. Without thinking, I shoved my hands into my hair, pulling at it with nearly as much force as I was using to push through the crowd.

I _had_ to find her. I had to fucking find her. It was all I could think about, yet as I frantically searched the dance floor, she was nowhere to be found. Every direction I turned in, every face I scanned… she wasn't there. It didn't help matters that the music was playing so loudly, and the damn bass was droning in my ears. I was seriously beginning to think I might be trapped in some highly fucked up dream when the music stopped playing. The song was over and there was a temporary break between tracks, but that _never_ happens…one song just flows directly into the next.

My head jerked up, looking in the direction of the DJ booth, and I was just in time to catch it. The giant was signing, and to everybody else on the dance floor, he was probably just playing around with his hands. But I knew better. He was talking to Bella. I had no idea what he was saying, but I didn't fucking care. All I cared about was finding her, and he had unknowingly just showed me how. Following his line of sight to several yards from where I stood, I saw her.

_Bella._

She stood there, in the middle of the dance floor, her hair a wild mess and her skin damp with perspiration, and all I could think was that she looked fucking gorgeous. I was vaguely aware of my cock taking notice of this fact too, but I didn't care. In that moment, all I cared about was dancing with Bella. I wanted to move my body in sync with hers and feel her rub against me. I wanted her to feel what she did to me.

Yeah… part of that was probably the alcohol thinking, but I wasn't that far gone. I wasn't even close to drunk - just a little buzzed, and well aware of what I was about to do.

I had taken several steps in Bella's direction when the music started up again.

Clocks by Coldplay. It was an interesting choice, I thought, as I continued forward on my path. My eyes never left Bella, and I was turning over my options for how to get her attention when I stopped short in my tracks. Hundreds moved around me, but it was the movement of one that entirely transfixed me. And as desperate as I was to get to her, I couldn't help but to stop and stare. Bella was moving… her body swaying and her arms snaking up into the air as she danced in time with the music. The beat - she felt the driving beat, the reverberations traveling throughout her body and allowing her to _feel_ the music. She danced like everyone else around her, no different from anyone on the dance floor.

She was uninhibited… she was free. And it was fucking beautiful.

Bella threw her head back, and I thought I might fucking lose it when her hands wove into her hair. Her body turned slightly, allowing me to see her face, but still, I didn't move. My motionlessness wasn't entirely welcomed on the dance floor. Several people pushed into me, aggravated by my lack of movement, but I didn't care. They didn't understand what stood before me. Bella was stunning, her eyes shut tight as she allowed the vibrations from the music to surround her. I noticed she'd applied make-up, a smoky grey shadow to her eyes. And with the way the lights from the club played on her skin, she appeared almost ethereal. But she was real, and she was here, right in front of me. Almost as if her sixth sense had kicked in, alerting her to my presence, Bella's eyes slowly opened. Then she turned her head, and her eyes met mine.

If Bella was surprised to see me, it didn't show. She smiled at me, a grin she didn't even try to contain quickly spreading across her face. I smiled back, and when she held her hand out to me, I wouldn't have been able to walk away from her even if I tried. I moved forward, my breath hitching in my throat as Bella pulled me behind her. My hands automatically slid to her waist, holding her close as we began to sway together in time with the music. Again... I wondered if I was dreaming. Only this time, it wasn't a nightmare. It was the best fucking dream I ever had. I couldn't believe I was standing there with my hands on Bella's hips, dancing with her in the middle of a club.

Bella's hands moved to mine where she threaded our fingers together before reaching out and wrapping our conjoined arms around her waist. I was hugging her now, and she was tugging me closer. I was fucking elated, and I wanted so desperately to move closer to her, but I didn't want to scare her off. I was fucking hard, and while moments before I had imagined myself grinding against her, now it didn't seem like a very good idea. Bella and I were close. Physically speaking, we were closer than we had ever been, and I didn't know what was going on, but I did not want to ruin it by pressing my cock against her – even if it would feel fucking amazing. So instead, I moved as close as I could get without pulling her directly against me. Bella seemed satisfied, once again losing herself in the music.

As the music played on, Bella and I danced together, our bodies never losing contact with each other. I had to give her credit - for someone who couldn't hear, she had fantastic fucking rhythm. Clocks wasn't necessarily the easiest song to dance to, but she danced to it anyway, and she was so incredibly sexy that I couldn't help but to run my hand up her side to her shoulder and gently pull her hair from her face. It was damp with perspiration, and she tilted her head to the side, seeming to welcome the relief of the cool air as it hit her neck.

Knowing it could be a big mistake but willing to take the risk, I lowered my head to her neck, burying my face there as we continued to dance. Bella stiffened a little bit at our new, more intimate position, but she didn't pull away, and it took every ounce of strength I could muster not to turn my head and kiss her.

God, I had never wanted to kiss a girl so badly before. My entire body was literally vibrating with need and desire. I could almost taste the perspiration on her skin, and the thought of her body, hot and sexy and moving in tandem with mine, was nearly my undoing. My hips moved forward of their own volition, seeking relief from the mounting pressure. If I didn't do something now, I was going to embarrass myself on the dance floor. Thankfully, the song was coming to an end, and as much as it was going to kill me to step away from her, I didn't have much of a choice. I needed to get back to the booth where I could sit and calm the fuck down.

The music drew to a close. This time, there was no transition time and Clocks flowed freely into the latest Lady Gaga release. It didn't seem as if Bella intended to stop dancing, and when I stopped moving and took gentle hold of her wrist, she turned around for the first time that night, looking straight into my eyes. She lay her free hand in front of her, palm up, waving it back and forth.

_*What?*_

Thankfully, I knew enough sign language by now to know what she asked and to tell her what I wanted.

_I need to sit down and get something to drink._

Bella nodded in understanding, but instead of following me back to the booth, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in the opposite direction. I felt ridiculously happy that she was holding my hand, even though I suspected it was just to help navigate us through the crowds. Then I noticed where we were headed, and I saw a pair of coal black eyes fixing us both with a steely gaze. I had been so caught up in dancing with Bella that I completely forgot about _him_. The fucking giant, who now looked as if he might leap from behind the DJ stand and rip my head off my shoulders.

Bella came to a stop several feet before the stand and immediately dropped my hand. I didn't like it, but I knew she needed her hands to speak. Her back was turned to me, but I could see them moving furiously through the air as she signed _something_… I had no idea what… to her friend. He signed back, just as animated as she was, before finally huffing and turning away from her. Bella bent down then and reached behind a very large speaker, pulling out her backpack. She flung it over her shoulders before standing up. Raising the pointer finger of her right hand, she wagged it back and forth in front of her.

*_Where?_*

Feeling confident, I took Bella's hand in mine and led her off the dance floor. She didn't protest, but when we reached the booth she immediately let it go, which kind of disappointed me. I don't know what I was expecting, but I thought that maybe after the dance we just shared, our relationship might be heading in a new direction. Friends didn't normally dance like that with each other, did they? One look at the dance floor… to all of the people grinding their bodies against one another, and my hopes faded. Maybe friends did dance together like that after all.

Bella and I took a seat next to each other, and I absently wondered where Emmett and the others disappeared to. In no time at all, Bella removed her iPad from her backpack and was diligently typing away.

***What a pleasant surprise! I never would have thought I'd find you here!***

Bella slid the iPad in my direction, offering me what I now knew to be her shy smile. I looked down at what she had written and couldn't help but snort.

"You're surprised to find _me_ here?" I asked, looking her directly in the eye. I noticed Bella squinting as I spoke, and she shook her head, motioning to the iPad. I realized then that it must be difficult for her to read lips in low light.

**You're surprised to find _me_ here? I believe it's the other way around…**

Bella looked over at me, a genuine smirk tugging at her lips as she read what I wrote.

***Why is that? You think a deaf girl can't dance?***

I read Bella's response, suddenly worried that I might have offended her, but when I looked in her direction, I saw that she was smiling brightly. She nudged my side with her elbow, letting me know she was only teasing. Before I had a chance to say anything more, Bella grabbed the iPad back.

***Actually, I'm really glad I ran into you tonight. I was feeling kind of bad about the way we left things this afternoon.***

Bella pushed the iPad in my direction, and at first I was confused by what she meant. I actually liked the way we'd left things today. I still remembered the way her lips felt, pressed against my cheek…

**I don't mind the way you left things… quite the contrary. ;)**

I wasn't sure Bella would understand what I meant, but apparently she did because even in the dim light of the club, I could see her cheeks flush red. It was beautiful, and it was all because of me.

***Well, I didn't mind **_**that**_** so much either. I was referring to my reluctance to discuss my family with you. I want you to know, I wasn't trying to shut you out. But my family life is complicated, and I wouldn't have been able to tell you about it in the few minutes we had left.***

Bella nudged the iPad in my direction, and I could tell from her shifting eyes that she was nervous about what she wrote. I couldn't imagine why, but I understood better when I read her words. I paused for a moment before responding. I didn't want to push Bella into discussing things she might not be ready to. Then again, I wanted her to know that I was open to listening, if and when she wanted to talk. Rather than take the chance of ruining what was turning out to be a pretty fantastic night, I decided to play it safe.

**I understand. I'm not upset, but thank you for thinking of my feelings. I want to know you Bella, but on your own terms. If and when you want to discuss your family with me, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I won't push. Deal?**

Bella read my response and a huge grin broke out across her face.

***Deal. Thank you, Edward. You really are a good friend.***

I read Bella's response, and I had to fight back the frown that threatened to take up residence on my face at the mention of the word friend. Again, I found myself wondering if friends really interacted with each other the way the two of us did. There was some definite tension between us, and I'm not talking the hostile type. I knew that I wanted to be more than just friends with Bella, and if my head wasn't sure, my cock certainly was. I couldn't believe that Bella didn't feel the same – that she was only interested in me as a friend. Friends didn't assign nicknames like Green Eyes to each other. Friends didn't kiss each other on the cheek before saying goodbye. Friends didn't twine their hands together while dancing, pulling each other close. Still, unless I was ready to do something to better define our status, I had no other choice but to accept her use of the word friend. I would accept it… for now. But I didn't have to like it.

Rather than dwell any further on the status of my relationship with Bella, I decided to use her comment as a lead in into my next question. If I had any intention of taking my relationship with her to the next level, it had to be asked.

**Speaking of friends, what's the deal with yours?**

Bella read my question before turning curious eyes my way.

*_Who*_, she signed, before finger spelling a name. I had to ask her to slow down so I could understand what she was saying. She signed his name again.

*_J. A. C. O. B?*_

I pointed in the direction of the DJ booth so that there could be no misunderstanding. Bella nodded in response. So the giant had a name… Jacob. I immediately grabbed the iPad.

**Yes, Jacob. This is twice now he's looked at me like he wants to kill me. What gives? **

I heard Bella chuckle softly beside me, as if there was some sort of inside joke I was missing. I looked at her, to see if I could read what she was thinking, but she was busy typing her response. Not for the first time, I cursed my inability to sign. I really fucking hated having these types of conversations using an iPad. I desperately wanted to see her face.

***Jacob is a friend… a good friend with even better intentions, but sometimes he oversteps his bounds. He looks out for me.***

I read what Bella wrote, but I had to admit to being dubious. Friends didn't normally act so put off when another friend appeared on the scene.

** So, he's just a friend?**

Bella's mouth pulled up into a grin.

***Yes, Green Eyes. He's just a friend.***

As if to emphasize her point, Bella scooted a little closer by my side so that our arms were almost touching. I really wanted to reach out and grab her hand, and hold it as I'd been holding it before, but that would prevent us from communicating. So instead, I asked my next question. It was really a ridiculous question, because I already knew the answer to it. But I was hoping it might prompt Bella to elaborate on her relationship with Jacob. She might consider Jacob a friend, but did he consider her the same in return?

** A friend who knows sign?**

I was pretty sure I heard Bella sigh beside me, but thankfully, she indulged me by answering my question.

** *Yes, a friend who knows sign. His sister is deaf. He's studying deaf education, too. Why so many questions?***

And with that, Bella gently nudged my ribs. I guess it was obvious I was starting to brood, even though technically I had no right to. But I didn't like the fact that Jacob could effortlessly communicate with Bella while I struggled just to say hello. I especially didn't like the fact that Jacob appeared to be dead set against our friendship. Fortunately, Bella didn't seem to be influenced by him. She was without a doubt her own person, doing things her own way. I admired that about her.

I turned and smiled at Bella, and she smiled back. Suddenly we were caught up in one of those surreal moments where everything around you ceases to exist. Her eyes were all I could focus on. They'd gone from brilliant and happy one moment, to determined and hungry the next. I swallowed hard, torn between the desire to kiss Bella and the desire to take things slow. I was almost certain she'd kiss me back if I made my move, but I sat frozen in my seat, paralyzed by what ifs.

What if I was misreading Bella's signals? What if she didn't want me as badly as I wanted her? What if Jacob saw us kissing and flipped the fuck out? What if I kissed Bella, and she didn't return the sentiment? Fuck… my mind was spinning, and why was this so god damned difficult? I had never struggled with women like this before; it was always so easy. But even as I asked myself the question, I already knew the answer. It was because Bella was somehow different… she was different from all the others. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to fuck things up.

Bella cocked her head to the side, seemingly amused by the expression on my face. She read me so well, and in an instant, the moment was gone. Now, in place of hunger and determination was a super shy smile. It seemed Bella was nearly as indecisive as I was. She must have known I was thinking about kissing her, and she didn't seem entirely put off by it. But she clearly wasn't ready, and I was glad I hadn't pushed the envelope.

_*Do you want to dance?* _Bella signed, saving us both from what could have been an awkward moment.

I nodded and was about to lead her onto the dance floor when Emmett suddenly appeared by my side. He looked at me curiously before glancing in Bella's direction. Bella signed to me then, and Emmett's eyes grew wide as saucers.

_*Who?*_ she asked, obviously referring to Emmett.

I looked back up at him and saw that his face was now covered in a gigantic smirk.

"Um, Emmett," I said, looking between him and Bella, "this is Bella." I turned to Bella and slowly signed Emmett's name. She nodded and reached out her hand, moving to shake Emmett's. He looked a little dazed as he took it, but when she smiled that brilliant smile of hers, he couldn't help but to smile back.

"Hey," he said, and of course, Bella could understand that. She waved back at him before placing her hand in her lap. Emmett stood there awkwardly for a moment before announcing that Tanya wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. This didn't surprise me. She and Rosalie had been drinking all night long. But it did depress me. I came with Emmett, which meant if they left now I wouldn't have a way home.

"Are you all right to drive?" I asked. I was a little worried about the amount of alcohol we had consumed. I didn't like to take chances. "We could take a cab."

Emmett shook his head.

"Nah, I'm fine. I haven't had anything to drink for awhile now."

I turned to Bella then, who fixed me with inquisitive eyes.

_*What?*_ she signed, having been unable to follow our conversation.

I felt badly she was left out, but there wasn't much I could do about that. I grabbed her iPad to explain what was going on.

**I have to go. My friend isn't feeling well and she wants to leave. We came together as a group, so I don't have any other way home.**

Bella hesitated for a moment, as if thinking something through, before typing her response.

***Well, I could drive you home, if you'd like.***

I couldn't believe her words. Bella could drive? My eyes flew to hers, and she was giggling at me, shaking her head as if amused by a small child. She knew exactly what I was thinking.

***I may be deaf, Green Eyes, but last time I checked I still had full use of my hands and feet. Now if I were blind… that would be entirely different. ;)***

Guys aren't really supposed to blush – it's definitely a girl thing. But I was pretty sure I blushed in total embarrassment at her words. I was a complete and total idiot. I looked up at Emmett who looked just as confused as Bella had before. Jesus, it was complicated to simultaneously communicate with both a deaf and hearing person.

I explained to Emmett that Bella had offered to take me home. Like me, Emmett raised a brow at the knowledge that she could drive, but I shot him a warning glance. He shrugged then and said as long as I was okay with it he would see me at home. I asked him to say goodnight to both Rose and Tanya for me, and to tell them I would see them after the school break. He agreed, and with one last smirk and a wave in Bella's direction, disappeared into the dark of the club. Looking back over at Bella, I shook my head at myself.

**I'm sorry. I feel like an idiot. That was a really stupid question. **

Bella didn't appear to be offended, but still, I wanted to apologize. Thankfully, she smiled at me, and her fingers came to rest briefly on my forearm as they so often did when we talked,

***No need to apologize, Green Eyes. Didn't your mother ever tell you that there's no such thing as a stupid question? Relax… you didn't upset me. I know that I'm different. Few people understand what it means to be deaf. I would rather answer questions than have people make wrong assumptions.***

Bella continually amazed me with her tolerant nature. I imagined there were a lot of misconceptions about deaf people, and she was all too willing to dispel them. I appreciated that. I appreciated that she didn't get irritated by my ignorance. But I wondered if people really took the time to ask her questions… took the time to get to know her. She had been alone every time that I saw her. She didn't seem to have many friends.

**Do people do that?**

***What? Ask questions?***

I nodded my head and Bella shrugged.

***To be honest, not really. Most are uncomfortable with trying to communicate with me so they don't bother. Those that do are curious for a bit… kind of like a new toy, but they quickly lose interest.***

My suspicions were confirmed, and my heart fell at Bella's words. While she didn't appear to be upset, it didn't change the fact that her words carried with them a distinct undertone of sadness. I found this happening a lot in my conversations with her. She would say things that caused me to pause and consider whether or not her words held deeper meaning. Bella seemed to gloss over many things. She could be very blasé at times, and I wondered if she really didn't care or if it was just easier for her to _act_ like she didn't. Then I wondered if she thought I was one of those that would quickly lose interest - because I wasn't. She had to know that.

**I won't lose interest, you know. If you were implying that I am one of those people, I want you to know that I'm not. **

Bella stared at the screen of her iPad for a very long time. I could tell she was turning my words over in her head, trying to determine whether or not she could trust me. I knew this because her brows were pensive and drawn. Then, out of nowhere, she started to grin, and I peeked over her shoulder as she typed out her response.

** *Green Eyes, why are we sitting here having such a serious discussion when we should be out on the dance floor, celebrating the end of the semester?***

This wasn't quite the response I had been hoping for. I wanted to hear her say that she trusted me and my intentions. But again… I didn't want to push. I playfully nudged her, grinning right back.

** Are you avoiding the topic of conversation?**

** *Maybe, maybe not. You've given me something to think about. But, if you don't mind, could we maybe just leave it at that for now? Because I really want to dance.***

Bella slid the iPad in my direction and turned to face me with her flattened hand slowly circling the center of her chest.

_*Please?*_ She fixed me with deep brown, puppy dog eyes, and I was fucking helpless to say anything but yes.

So I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the dance floor, and for the next several hours I was able to hold her and touch her as if she were my very own. I only hoped that one day in the very near future, she would be.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	7. Coming Clean

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82, JenEsme **and **b4bystar** for pre-reading. The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 7 – Coming Clean**

I was fucking tired. It was 7 a.m. and I was sitting on a plane bound for Chicago.

I had barely made my flight. I awakened this morning to the sound of Emmett pounding on my bedroom door…

"_Edward, wake the fuck up! You're going to miss your flight! The cab driver's been knocking on the door for twenty minutes!" _

_I was vaguely aware of Emmett's obnoxious voice intruding into my sleep, and I was doing my best to ignore him. But then the meaning of his words registered in my head, and I shot up out of bed. I immediately looked at the clock. It was nearly five thirty in the morning. I should have been at the airport by now, but I obviously overslept._

"_Shit!" I swore as I stumbled out of bed, yanked open my door and rushed past Emmett into the bathroom. I knew I didn't have time for a shower, but I needed to at least take a minute to brush my teeth. My mouth tasted like stale beer and cheap bar top peanuts. _

"_Dude, what time did you get in?" Emmett asked while stifling a yawn. _

"_Don't ask," I groaned through a mouth full of toothpaste. "Way later than I should have." Emmett smirked at me as I spit into the sink and grabbed a bottle of mouthwash from the medicine cabinet. _

"_So, Bella drove you home?" he asked, trying to appear casual, but I knew better. He wanted the lowdown on what happened at the club. I nodded at him in the mirror and nearly choked on my mouthwash when my face involuntarily pulled up into a grin. _

"_And..." Emmett prompted, clearly annoyed by my lack of details, but I didn't have time to sit around and chat with him right now. _

"_And I have a plane to catch," I reminded him as I splashed several handfuls of water onto my face. I ran my hand over my chin, wishing I had the time to shave, but I knew I'd miss my flight if I did. _

"_That's it? That's all your best friend gets?" Emmett asked, feigning hurt. He clutched his heart as if he was mortally wounded and I smacked his shoulder in response._

"_For now, yes," I hastily replied as I headed back into my bedroom. _

"_Well, for the record, Bella's fucking hot," he commented as he followed behind me, and I couldn't help but laugh._

"_Told you so," I said with a smirk as I glanced around my room for some clothes to wear._

"_Yeah man, I know you said she was gorgeous, but there's a big difference. That girl emits some serious sexual energy."_

"_Watch it, Emmett," I warned as I stripped out of my jeans. I grabbed another pair off the floor, hoping they were clean, before pulling a long sleeved t-shirt over my head. _

"_I'm just saying, Edward, it was rolling off of her in waves."_

"_That's probably because I was about to kiss her." _

"_Did you?" Emmett was anxious to know._

"_No."_

"_Well, why the hell not?" he demanded._

"_Shit, I'm going to miss my flight," I said as I reached for my wallet and keys that were lying on top of my dresser. Thank God I packed my bag the night before. "Listen, can we talk about this when I come back?" _

_I flung my bag over my shoulder and headed out into the hall where I found my Nikes lying by the front door, unceremoniously abandoned there several hours earlier. Emmett had left the door ajar, and I could see the cab driver sitting in the front seat of his tax waiting for me, with the meter no doubt running._

"_Well that depends…" Emmett said as I slipped on my shoes and scrambled to make it out the door. _

_I raised a brow at him._

"_Oh yeah? On what?" _

_I was out the door and about to climb into the cab when Emmett finally answered me._

"_On whether or not you're going to quit being a pussy and let the girl know how you feel!" he yelled after me with a laugh. I flicked him off from over my shoulder before climbing into the cab. _

"_Tampa International?" The driver asked as he backed away from the apartment, and I nodded my head in response. I rolled my window down then, waving goodbye to Emmett as we pulled away._

"_Merry Christmas, bro!"_

"_Merry Christmas, lover boy," Emmett yelled back with a smirk before heading back into our apartment._

Amazingly enough, given the fickle weather and time of year, my plane actually touched down at O'Hare on time, just after nine in the morning. I yawned, doing my best not to knock the elderly lady sitting beside me in the head as I stretched. I managed to sleep the entire plane ride from Tampa to Chicago, and I felt marginally more rested than I did before. But that didn't help my stomach much. It growled rather loudly, earning me a shocked look from my seat mate. I mumbled an apology while gathering my backpack from underneath the seat in front of me, but she merely turned her head in the opposite direction, obviously put off by my stomach's protests.

After what felt like forever, waiting in line with a large group of generally impatient people, I was finally able to deplane. As I suspected, O'Hare was a complete and total nightmare. There were people everywhere, most of whom were carting around arms full of luggage and beautifully wrapped presents. I felt a stab of guilt at not having bought anything for my parents or Alice yet, but I hoped to rectify at least the first part of my problem this morning. I could worry about Alice tomorrow.

It came as no surprise to find Alice waiting for me, immediately outside security. She shrieked when she saw me - running up to me, throwing her arms around my neck and engulfing me in a huge hug. From the way she acted, you would have never known she had seen me only weeks before. I hugged Alice back with just as much gusto before setting her down on her feet.

"Hey, short stuff," I said, ruffling her hair and going out of my way to tease her with a nickname I knew she detested. But it wasn't my fault she stood nearly a foot shorter than I did. I was all but convinced she was adopted, and I would routinely tell her so when we were kids just to get a rise out of her.

"Hey, you…" Alice gleefully started, then paused as her eyes skimmed over my body, taking in my appearance. "Good Lord, Edward, you look like hell!"

I threw my head back in laughter while flinging my arm around my sister's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas to you too."

"I'm serious," Alice chided beside me. "You look like you just rolled out of bed after a good fuck," she said as we strolled along.

"Jesus, Alice," I hissed. "Would you keep your voice down? People can hear you," I pointed out as I furtively glanced around. Thankfully, the people surrounding us all appeared to be focused on finding their gates or high tailing it to baggage claim. They weren't in the least bit interested in my conversation with Alice.

"Well, it's true," Alice defended.

"It's also true you lack discretion," I mumbled. "I swear you and Emmett are twins separated at birth."

Alice wrinkled her nose at that comment.

"Please, don't offend me dear brother. Not when you've just stepped off the plane," she teased.

"So let me get this straight. You have free rein to make whatever comments you'd like about me, but I'm not allowed to do the same?" I tickled Alice's neck and she giggled in response, swatting my hand away.

"Stop that! There's a difference and you know it. I'm merely pointing out an established fact. You look like hell. What's up with that, anyway?" she asked as her eyes once again scanned my body from head to toe. "Mom's going to have a fit."

"Do I really look that bad?" I wondered out loud. I mean, my clothes were a little bit wrinkled, but I had worn much worse.

"Edward… your hair's a mess, you haven't shaved, your eyes are bloodshot and your clothes look and smell like you slept in them."

"Hey, I take great offense to that," I teased. "I actually picked up these clothes off of my bedroom floor this morning. Believe me, they were a much better alternative to what I wore last night."

"Ugh… gross… just gross," Alice said while trying to pull away from me. "What is it with men and wearing whatever they find on the floor, anyway? I swear Jasper did the same thing before he started dating me. Thank God, I was able to put a stop to that."

I laughed out loud as we headed towards baggage claim, hugging my sister closer to me and refusing to let her go.

"I've missed you short stuff."

"I've missed you too, Edward."

A little while later, Alice and I sat in a no-name diner in the middle of downtown Chicago where I stuffed myself full of pancakes. I was on my third cup of coffee and actually beginning to feel halfway human again when Alice started in with the questions.

"So, are you going to tell me what you were doing last night?" she asked, all the while enjoying her own breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon. She stared at me expectantly, and I knew there would be no way to postpone this conversation. Not that I wanted to, but I hadn't expected to have it in a diner in downtown Chicago, either.

"What makes you think I was doing anything interesting?" I volleyed back, wanting to tease her a bit before telling her about Bella, but Alice only rolled her eyes.

"You were with another girl, weren't you?" she laughed. This was nothing new to Alice. She knew my take on dating. She knew I enjoyed messing around but that I wasn't interested in anything serious. Until now that is…

"Well, I was with _a_ girl," I said, making sure to set the record straight. Bella wasn't just _another_ girl. Alice immediately caught on to what I said and her fork stopped mid-air as she stared at me in stunned disbelief.

"What are… are you… Edward Cullen, have you been holding out on me?" she accused while pointing her fork in my direction. She feigned irritation, but the wide grin that spread across her face told me she was anything but mad.

"Well, not exactly,"' I replied. I knew I was being cryptic, but I wasn't quite sure how to explain what was going on between Bella and me. I really didn't know, and after last night, I was more confused than ever.

"What exactly does 'not exactly' mean," Alice pushed and I chuckled at her tenacity. She wouldn't rest until she pulled every bit of information that she could from me. I pushed my few remaining pieces of pancake around in the syrup before popping them into my mouth. I took my time, chewing slowly before washing them down with a swig of juice. I was driving Alice crazy, I knew. I was surprised she didn't leap across the table and beat the answer out of me.

"I guess it means that I've met someone I'm interested in, in more than a casual way," I finally said, choosing my words carefully. "But we're just friends," I quickly added. "So technically, I haven't been withholding anything."

Alice raised a dubious brow at that, but for now she seemed willing to let my silence on the subject slide. As long as I was willing to share details, that is. And I did. I told her all about Bella. I told her how we met when I accidentally startled her outside the Communication Sciences and Disorders building, and how from that moment forward, Bella and I met before her class three times a week. I told her how we laughed and joked around and how we enjoyed talking to each other. I told her how easy it was to be with Bella, and how she was the first girl I had ever really been interested in getting to know on a personal level. Alice beamed at me in response, clearly pleased that her older brother was finally taking an interest in more than a passing fuck.

"There's something else," I casually mentioned as I pushed my plate aside. I reached for my coffee, taking a small sip from the recently refilled cup.

"Oh?" Alice replied. She was shamelessly munching on a piece of bacon, which made me smile. Alice has loved bacon ever since we were small children. We had to watch her on Saturday mornings when mom would make a full breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs. If left unguarded, Alice would eat an entire pound of bacon by herself.

I cleared my throat before continuing.

"What would you say if I told you Bella was disabled?"

I watched as Alice's eyes opened wide in surprise, and she slowly lowered her piece of bacon to her plate. She didn't immediately respond, and I knew she was searching for the right words to say.

"I'd say that was… unexpected," she finally said. "What's wrong with her?" she asked before cringing at her choice of words. "Jesus, I'm sorry," she hastily apologized. "I didn't mean it that way."

I chuckled softly at Alice's behavior. My sister didn't have a mean bone in her body, and I knew she hadn't meant anything by what she said. Still, it was fun to watch her flounder a bit.

"Bella's deaf," I eventually explained, and Alice's brows furrowed in confusion.

"She's deaf? But how… how on earth do you communicate with each other?"

"I've learned a few signs," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "But mostly we communicate by iPad."

Alice sat very still and quiet for a moment, absorbing what I said before speaking again.

"Wow, Edward. I'm kind of speechless."

"You know, she's really no different from you and me," I pointed out, but Alice just waved me off.

"I wasn't referring to the fact that she's deaf," Alice said. "I was referring to your comment about learning a few signs. I have to say, I've never seen you make that type of effort in a relationship. She must really mean something to you."

I lowered my coffee cup to the table before looking Alice straight in the eye.

"She does," I admitted without hesitation. "She's important."

"How important?" Alice wondered, but I didn't really have an answer for that. Not yet, anyway.

I spent the next twenty minutes or so filling Alice in on everything, including describing all of my interactions with Bella since we met, right down to the very last detail. I figured it might be better to have a woman's perspective on this situation rather than a man's. Not that I didn't respect Emmett's opinion, but I wasn't sure his last words of advice this morning were necessarily my best course of action. I wasn't sure I was ready to tell Bella how I felt. More importantly, I wasn't sure she was ready to hear it.

Alice agreed that this situation required more thought than a traditional relationship might. For starters, if I wanted to date Bella, Alice suggested I should make a commitment to learn sign language. I would have to adapt to Bella's world and not the other way around. Alice asked if I had plans to enroll in a sign language course, and until she mentioned it, I really hadn't. But her suggestion got my wheels turning, and before I knew it, I was formulating a plan.

Talking to Alice was helpful, and I was glad to finally be able to openly share information about Bella with someone other than Emmett. Alice was supportive of my interest in Bella, but she also worried about the difficulties the two of us would face as a deaf/hearing couple. For example, how would we handle situations where we were together in a group environment? None of my friends knew sign language, and I was just learning myself, so it would probably be awkward for us to spend time with each other's friends. Alice also wondered whether or not I would be bothered by the fact that Bella would never be able to share my love of music. Alice knew how important music was to me – I had played the piano for practically my entire life. Would I be okay dating a girl who could never hear me play?

At the end of the day, all these things seemed unimportant to me in the whole scheme of things. And I didn't want to doom a relationship before I had even given it a chance. Besides, Bella and I weren't even dating yet, so all of this was just hypothetical. But the truth of the matter was I didn't want it to be only hypothetical. I wanted my relationship with Bella to be real, so from this point forward, I had to figure out a way to make that happen.

After breakfast, Alice and I spent several hours shopping for presents for mom and dad. Thankfully, it would just be the four of us this Christmas, so there was no need to shop for anyone else. We settled on a charm bracelet with each of our birthstones and some drafting supplies for mom, and a new leather briefcase and subscriptions to some medical journals for dad. We were also going to present them with a weekend stay at a little bed and breakfast in Vermont that they both loved.

Later that afternoon, Alice and I were on our way home when mom called, asking us to stop by BJs to get a couple of bottles of wine and some appetizers for Christmas dinner. I grumbled a little, really wanting to just go home and take a damn shower, but I knew tomorrow would be hectic, so it was better to take care of these types of errands today. When we arrived at BJs, it was, of course, packed to the hilt. There were people everywhere, and the aisles were quickly being picked clean. I wasn't one for warehouse shopping, and I wouldn't have been much help to Alice anyway, so I hung back by the book section while she set about collecting mom's list of items.

There wasn't much I was interested in as I browsed the tables full of books. I did pick up a Biography of FDR for my father and a coffee table book of Chicago sky rises for my mother, but other than that, nothing caught my attention. I didn't have much time for pleasure reading, anyway. Not with my schedule. I was just about to try and find Alice when something caught my eye. It was a box set of DVDs sitting on a clearance table adjacent to the books. It was the picture on the front that caught my attention – a small child signing the word "thank you". I moved a little closer and picked the box set up.

_Baby Signing Times_

At first I felt a little ridiculous. These DVDs were obviously meant for young children. But upon closer examination, they seemed like they could be beneficial t o me as well. I turned the set of DVDs over in my hands and was surprised to find they had been marked down to $19.99. That wasn't so bad, I reasoned, and it might give me a head start on learning some more signs. I was standing there, debating whether or not I should purchase the set when Alice walked up beside me. Without even coming to a stop, she plucked the DVDs from my hand and deposited them into the cart.

"Perfect place to start," she said with a wink, and with that it sort of felt like my plan was officially set into motion. One way or another, I was going to learn sign language.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	8. Rules of Engagement

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me. (A BIG Happy Birthday hug to **JenEsme** who is celebrating her birthday this week!)

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me. Links are on my profile.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 8 – Rules of Engagement**

I scrubbed my hand through my hair, wincing when my fingers caught in the back of my head. I went to bed with a wet head, only to awaken several hours later to a tangled mess. I glanced in the mirror and my mother was right… I really did need a haircut. That was the first thing she had said to me after wrapping me up in a huge hug earlier today. That and I needed to shave. I chuckled softly to myself. Some things never changed, and my mother was one of them. Even though I was 22, she continued to worry over me like I was a child.

I didn't really mind. I would probably always allow my mother her stolen hugs and kisses. I didn't even mind her passing her hand through my hair, trying in vain to bring some order to it. That was what mothers did, and as far as mothers went, mine was damn near the best. I loved and respected both of my parents, but I had always had a special relationship with my mother. I was eager to discuss Bella with her, but I hadn't found the proper moment yet.

Alice and I didn't arrive home until late in the afternoon. After pulling me into the house and hugging me hello, my mother immediately set me to work rolling out gingerbread dough in the kitchen. Meanwhile, she and Alice worked on cutting the cookies into various Christmas shapes before baking them in the oven. While we worked, we spent time catching up. Alice was right… when I was home over Thanksgiving, I barely left my room. I had hardly seen my family at all. It was nice now to be able to sit back and relax and casually chat about what was going on in our lives. I considered mentioning Bella as we turned out batch after batch of cookies, but I decided I wanted to wait until my mother and I were alone. I didn't want to distract her from the task at hand. God forbid we burned the Christmas cookies. That would be an absolute tragedy.

My father arrived home from his office a little after six. He had traded long days and even longer nights as Chief of Staff at Northwestern Memorial to open up a private practice several years ago. He never looked back. Both he and my mother preferred the lighter work schedule, and it meant that barring any emergencies, he would have plenty of time to spend with us over the holidays. My father brought home pizza, and after placing the last batch of cookies on the cooling rack, the four of us sat around the kitchen table and enjoyed a meal of pizza and salad. It was nice. It was really nice, actually. I enjoyed spending time with my family, but I was distracted. My thoughts kept wandering to Bella… to what she might be doing. If her flight was on time, she was probably in Washington now, doing the same as me… catching up with family and enjoying being home for the holidays. And I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking of me too.

After dinner, I finally managed to take a shower. Afterwards, I collapsed into bed. I slept until a little after eleven, and ever since then I had been hanging out in my room. I went downstairs to see if anybody was still awake, but the house was still and quiet, so I grabbed a plate of cookies from the kitchen before heading back up to my room. And there I sat, in an old pair of sweats and a University of South Florida sweatshirt, feeling bored and restless until my eyes fell upon the set of DVDs I had purchased from BJs earlier in the day. Alice must have brought them up while I was baking cookies with mom, I thought to myself. Not having anything better to do, I decided to break open the set and watch the first DVD in the series.

No sooner had I placed the DVD in the player than I heard a soft rap at my door.

"Come in," I called while finishing off my last cookie. Alice toed the door open with her right foot before slipping inside. I wrinkled my nose as the most delicious smell wafted through the air and it was then that I noticed Alice was carrying two bowls.

"That isn't what I think it is, is it?" I asked, hopeful that indeed it was.

"It most certainly is," she declared while plopping down on the bed beside me. "Kraft macaroni and cheese – a staple of college students the world over," she announced with a giggle.

"Well, I don't know about the world," I teased while eagerly grabbing a bowl. "But definitely the United States."

"What is it about this stuff that's so addictive, anyway?" she wondered as she tucked into the creamy dish.

"I don't know," I said through a mouthful of food. "But I'm fucking hungry, and this is totally hitting the spot. Have I told you lately how awesome you are?"

Being the lady that she is, Alice waited until she finished chewing before answering me.

"You haven't and you're welcome," she said while nudging her shoulder against mine.

"So, where were you, anyway? I thought you were in bed asleep?" I asked in-between bites.

Alice shrugged in response.

"I went over to Lauren's for a couple of hours. You were asleep, and with Jasper in Texas for Christmas, I needed something to fill my time."

"You miss him, huh?" I said, though it was really a statement of fact as opposed to a question. I knew Alice missed Jasper. They had practically been attached at the hip since they started dating their senior year in high school. Of course, I never understood their attachment to each other, even going so far as to roll my eyes at their frequent displays of affection. I never had anyone in my life that I felt that strongly about, so it was hard for me to relate. But I understood a little better now. Alice nodded quietly before turning her full attention on me.

"You miss her too, don't you?" she softly inquired. I shrugged my shoulders, trying to play it off as if it wasn't a big deal, but my sister knew me too well.

"Liar," she said while punching me lightly in the shoulder.

"Guilty as charged," I finally admitted.

"That's sweet," Alice said with a sappy grin plastered across her face, and I rolled my eyes.

"It's kind of pathetic," I replied. "I'm pining after a woman that isn't even mine."

"But she will be," Alice assured me with a motherly pat on my shoulder. "I mean, how will she be able to resist you? You're learning sign language for her," Alice said before going all misty-eyed on me.

"Are you… oh shit, don't pull that crap with me. Why in the hell are you crying?" I half laughed, half asked. I stared at Alice, thoroughly amused. Female emotions never ceased to amaze me.

"They're happy tears, you moron," she said while wiping the moisture from her eyes. "I just never thought I'd see the day you'd make this type of effort…"

"Oh Christ, shoot me now. I'm going to be trapped with a hopeless romantic all of Christmas break," I laughed. Alice stood from where she was sitting, twisting my ear before setting her empty bowl on my end table.

"Ow! That fucking hurt," I squeaked like a pussy, but Alice just smiled down at me.

"That's right, big brother. You are, and you'd better be thankful for it. I can tell you a thing or two about love. Admit it, you're kinda out of your league here," she said with a teasing smile.

"I suppose I am," I sighed. "So what would you suggest I do?"

"Well, for starters, watch these videos," Alice said while motioning to the set on my desk.

"Actually, funny you mention it. I was about to do that when you walked in."

I powered the TV on and a picture of a small toddler signing a word I didn't recognize appeared on screen.

"Mind if I join you?" Alice asked. She took a seat on the floor in front of the TV, and I knew there'd be no denying her. Not that I minded; it might be fun to have a partner in crime. It would be just like old times. I sat down next to Alice and pressed play on the remote, and we both watched as multiple toddlers and a few brightly colored pictures passed across the screen. In the course of ten minutes, these toddlers managed to sign a song and teach the audience three new words: animal, house and cookie. I paused the video part way through, casting an anxious glance in my sister's direction.

"This is kind of ridiculous, isn't it?" I asked, but Alice was busy practicing the sign for cookie. When she was finished, she looked over at me.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, maybe I should have purchased a different set. One meant for adults," I offered.

"Nah," Alice waved me off. "This is perfect. It goes at just the right pace. I actually remember everything we've learned so far."

"You mean all three signs in total?" I teased.

"But that's the point, isn't it? Taking it slow and giving it time to settle in before moving on to something else." Alice's words were spoken sagely, and I wondered if we weren't talking about two completely different things.

"I guess," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Besides, you're going to sign up for a sign language course next semester, anyway, so this is just a brief overview of what's to come, right?"

Again, the subject of whether or not I was going to officially learn sign came up, and again, it set my wheels turning.

"Right," I agreed with a nod of my head.

"So relax big brother," Alice said. "And let's have some fun with this."

It turns out that Alice and I _did_ have a lot of fun. We made it through three videos, practicing many different signs with each other before finally calling it a night. It was well after 3 a.m. when we finally went to bed, but it was worth it. It felt good to share this with Alice. She was embracing sign language almost as enthusiastically as I was, and I had high hopes that at some point in the future she would meet Bella, and Bella would be impressed with the effort Alice put into learning to communicate with her.

The following day went by in a mad rush. It was Christmas Eve, and I spent most of the day running around town with my father, picking up last minute items for Christmas dinner and selecting a present for Alice. I decided on a Dooney and Bourke purse she had eyed while out shopping yesterday afternoon, but I knew she would never buy for herself. It was a little on the expensive side, but I wanted to do something extra nice for her. She had been so kind and supportive of me, encouraging me in my relationship with Bella, and I wanted to show my thanks.

Upon arriving home, I wrapped Alice's present before seeking out my mother in her study. We still had a few hours left before Christmas Eve service, and I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about Bella. I found her sitting at her desk, poring over yet another set of plans for a home in Roscoe Village she was currently working to renovate.

"Hey, sweetheart," she greeted me as I poked my head in the door. My mother was dressed casually in a dark blue track suit, with her trademark pencils resting behind either ear.

"Is this a bad time?" I asked, not wanting to interrupt her, but she waved me off.

"Of course not. I'm never too busy to talk to my favorite son."

"Mom," I rolled my eyes at the hackneyed line. "I'm your only son," I replied, playing along. She loved it when I did.

"That you are," she agreed with a wide smile. "But even if you weren't, you'd still be my favorite," she said with a wink.

I chuckled softly at my mother. She could be completely ridiculous when she wanted, but on the other hand, when the situation called for it, she could also be as serious as need be. On a whole, my mother was actually a very wise person. I willingly sought her out for advice over the years, and now was no exception.

I moved to sit in the comfortable leather chair adjacent to my mother's desk, reaching out to grab a photograph of her and my father in the process. I noticed they were young in the picture. My mother couldn't have been much older than twenty, which meant she had probably just started dating my father. She met him her freshman year at college, but they hadn't started dating until the beginning of her junior year.

"Mom?" I asked, continuing to stare at the photograph as I called her name.

"What is it, honey?" She looked up at me and turned her head to the side, noticing that I was examining her photo.

"Did you have any serious relationships before you met dad?"

My mother's interest was piqued by my question, and she put aside what she was working on to give me her full attention.

"Why do you ask?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and she continued to look at me. It was unusual for us to discuss relationships. I never really talked about the girls I dated, and other than my prom dates, I had never brought a girl home to meet my parents. Not in an official capacity, anyway. My mother knew something was going on, but she didn't know what.

"Well," she continued thoughtfully. "There was a boy in high school that I dated for a year, but I went away to college, and neither one of us felt inclined to carry on a long distance relationship. I met your father soon after, and I knew once I met him there would never be another man for me."

"You knew right away?" I asked, surprised.

"I suppose," she answered me, hesitantly at first before affirming her statement with greater confidence. "Yes. There was always a part of me that knew he was the one for me. The question was, was I the one for him? Your father was very busy with school. He didn't really have time for a relationship. We were just friends at first, but it slowly developed into more. I guess when it comes down to it I always knew we'd eventually end up together. Why all the questions, dear?" My mother appeared slightly bemused by our conversation, and I sighed, deciding to tell her everything.

"I've met someone, mom," I said, and just like Alice, my mother's eyes grew big and round. A soft smile spread across her face then, and she reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Oh Edward," she sighed. "I'm so happy for you."

"Guess you thought it would never happen, huh?" I ventured with a laugh, but she vehemently shook her head.

"Oh no, I've always had faith you'd meet the right girl. You've just been distracted by your studies, and rightfully so. You've carried a very heavy course load these last several years. It's no wonder you didn't have time for a relationship."

"Yeah, well this one kind of took me by surprise. And we're not technically dating yet, although I'd really like to ask her out."

"Oh?" my mother said. "From the way you talk, it sounds as if you're already together."

I shook my head.

"No. Not yet. I only met her a month ago, right after Thanksgiving. Her name is Bella, and we've spent the last several weeks getting to know each other. But it's complicated," I explained, my voice trailing off.

"In what way?" my mother wondered while furrowing her brows.

"Bella's deaf, mom," I said, looking her straight in the eye as I delivered the news. My mother was quiet, but if she was shocked, she didn't let it show. Instead, she thoughtfully pursed her lips, her eyes never leaving mine as she took a moment to consider what I said. Finally, she spoke.

"Why don't you tell me about her?" she said with a kind smile, and I breathed a small sigh of relief. At least outwardly so, my mother didn't appear concerned about Bella's deafness. I spent the next several minutes telling her all about Bella, and when I was through she reached out and squeezed my hand.

"She sounds lovely," she said, and I knew her words were genuine. But I also detected a hint of worry in her voice, and I wanted to know what that was about.

"She sounds lovely, _but_…" I prompted, and my mother offered me an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, honey. You're a grown man, and I don't want to interfere. I really don't. I just wonder how long you can sustain a relationship with someone you're not fully able to communicate with."

"Well," I offered. "The iPad works better than you might think, and I'm actually considering enrolling in a sign language course next semester."

At the mention of the sign language course, my mother's eyes opened wide once again.

"Isn't your course load heavy enough?" she wondered. "And what about your volunteer time at the hospital? How on earth will you find the time to manage it all?"

My mother's words weren't delivered harshly; they were delivered in genuine concern. She knew how stressful school was for me, and how I hardly had any time to spare. I think my entire family thought that was why I never dated anyone seriously… I just didn't have the time. But while that was part of it, the greater, more important part was that I hadn't met anyone I cared enough about to make an effort with… until Bella.

"I'll find a way," I said, but my mother still appeared uncertain.

"Edward, you've worked hard to get to where you're at. You've always had your priorities straight, and because of that, you'll be graduating with honors with a double degree and heading off to med school in the fall. I just… I don't want to see you jeopardize everything you've worked so hard to achieve."

"Why would taking one extra course jeopardize everything I've worked for?" I wondered aloud, feeling a bit put off by my mother's comment.

"Honey, learning a language takes a lot of time," my mother explained. "I know you better than you think. You never do anything half-heartedly, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll be hard pressed to disagree. You'll throw your entire self into learning sign language as quickly as possible just to communicate with this girl."

"Bella," I huffed in annoyance. "Her name is Bella."

"I'm sorry," my mother said, shaking her head. "You'll throw your entire self into learning another language just to communicate with Bella."

"It's my only option mom," I whispered quietly. "She'll never be able to speak or hear. If I want to be with her, _I_ have to be the one to make the effort. For what it's worth, if the roles were reversed, I think maybe she'd do the same for me."

My mother was quiet for a moment before a soft smile started to play on her face.

"Of course she would," she said, and I could see she was trying to relieve the palpable tension that had suddenly taken hold in the room. "You're a very special boy."

"And she's a very special girl, mom…"

My mother nodded in response.

"I can see that. And please, I don't want you to think you have to defend Bella to me. It's clear she's important to you, and because of that she's important to me. I just want you to be careful, is all. I don't want you to lose sight of your goals. You have one semester left in school, and now is not the time to become side-tracked."

_Side-tracked?_ I thought to myself, annoyed with my mother's choice of words. That was _not_ how I viewed Bella…

"Trust me," I assured her. "Nobody understands my goals better than I do," I said, sounding bitterer about it than I really felt, but I was starting to feel my frustration with the direction this conversation had taken rise to the surface. "I've spent the last four years working my ass off to get to where I'm at, mom. I know what I need to do to stay on track, and I would never jeopardize that. I'm not going to drop out of school or forgo pursuing a medical degree in order to devote every waking minute to learning sign."

"Edward… I didn't…" My mother tried to interrupt me, her voice soft and repentant, but at the risk of being disrespectful, I held up my hand to her and continued speaking.

"No, mom. Let me finish. I know you didn't come right out and say that, but if feels like that's what you're implying and quite frankly, it really bothers me. You should know me well enough by now to know that I would never turn my back on everything I've worked so hard to achieve. Yeah... learning sign will take a lot out of me, but you know what? Some things are worth the effort… I think _she's_ worth it."

My mother nodded slowly, her face shadowed over by regret. She knew that she had upset me, and this was clearly not what she intended. Still, it didn't change the fact that she didn't seem very supportive of my relationship with Bella, and this made me sad. I had really hoped she would be.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to… I'm afraid I didn't express myself very well," she said with a defeated sigh and a small shake of her head. "I was only trying to say that there are times in our lives when we're forced to focus one hundred percent of who we are on a specific task. I speak from experience, honey. This was my life with your father when we first met. He was singularly focused on his studies because he had no other choice. But eventually we decided we couldn't be apart, and we found a way to make our relationship work, despite the demands of school. We did it, and if this relationship with Bella is something you really want then I'm sure you can do it too. But it _will_ be challenging," she emphasized.

"I know it will," I agreed.

"That's all I'm trying to say, honey," my mother said, sounding relieved that I understood her point of view. "It's just that I know firsthand how rigorous and demanding medical school is. Your father barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone give any part of himself to me. Add to that the difficulty of learning a new language, not to mention adapting to the life of someone who is different from you, and well… it's a lot to juggle, Edward. Even if you don't realize it now, it's a lot. You've always shown good judgment, and I want you to know that I trust you to make the right decision, but I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't speak frankly with you about my concerns. I just hope you're able to understand that."

"I do, mom," I said while moving to stand. I appreciated her efforts to smooth things over, I really did, but I was starting to wonder if she really did trust me to make the right decision or if she was just trying to placate me. Either way, I wasn't really in the mood for talking anymore. This conversation hadn't gone exactly as I had hoped, and now I was left wondering if maybe I was just fooling myself that I had any hopes of making a relationship with Bella work. Because a relationship with her _would_, no doubt, be a lot of work. My mother was right… learning another language was time consuming, and I didn't have a lot of time to spare. Then again, would there ever really be a right time for me to become involved with someone? And how much less complicated would a relationship with a hearing girl really be? These were questions I didn't have the answers to because I had never been in a serious relationship before. But I did know one thing, getting to know Bella just felt right, and that had to count for something.

"You know it's funny, mom," I said as I paused in the threshold of the door. "Nothing about this situation is easy, but being around Bella… it's the easiest thing there is. Kind of funny how things work out that way, isn't it?" My mother offered me a small smile before I turned and walked away.

Several hours later, I stood outside the church, freezing my ass off in the middle of a parking spot, saving it for my mother. I breathed into my hands in a futile attempt to warm them against the cold night air, and even though it was probably inappropriate given my current location, I found myself cursing my mother. I had no idea where she was, but she had rushed out of the house earlier, barking orders at the rest of us to meet her at church for the 8 o'clock service.

At 7:55 on the dot, my mother pulled into the lot. I moved aside so she could park the car and we rushed inside the church, just as the service was about to begin. Afterwards, we dropped my mother's car at home and drove around to look at Christmas lights. By the time we made it back home it was after ten, and I shared a glass of brandy with my father in front of the fireplace before heading up to bed. I hadn't yet told him about Bella, but after my talk with my mother earlier in the day, I didn't have much inclination to. Not that I wouldn't - I just needed some time to think about what my mother had said.

As I lay in bed turning over my mother's words, Alice popped in and decided to make herself at home beside me. She was dressed in a ridiculous pair of Christmas pajamas covered in mistletoe, and I had no doubt she had purchased a matching set for my mother. She used to force me to wear Christmas pajamas too, that was until I turned fourteen. That year, my fuck hot next door neighbor stopped by on Christmas morning to deliver fresh baked cinnamon rolls, only to find me standing in red, white and green striped pajamas. Alice assured me they were masculine, but the look on my neighbor's face told me otherwise. From that point forward, I refused to wear Christmas pajamas.

"What's up, big brother?" she asked while staring up at my ceiling fan with me.

"Not much," I shrugged. "Just thinking about some things mom said earlier today." Alice rolled on her side, propping herself up on her elbow and supporting her head with her hand.

"Did you tell her about Bella?"

"Yeah… and it didn't exactly go over like I expected."

"What did she say?" Alice asked, suddenly concerned.

"I don't know… I guess she's concerned about the time commitment involved," I explained.

"Time commitment?" Alice repeated, confused.

"Yeah. She's worried about the time it'll take me to learn sign language, on top of all my classes. She doesn't want me to become too distracted."

"Well, she does have a point," Alice mused, and I sighed in resignation.

"You too?" I mumbled.

"Hey," she said softly while reaching out to touch my arm. "I'm not saying you shouldn't ask Bella out. I'm just saying that I understand mom's concerns. But I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work."

"That's what mom said too," I stated off-handedly, wondering if either one of them really believed it to be true. Alice regarded me sympathetically and asked whether or not I had talked to Bella since I left Tampa. I raised a brow at her question and she punched me in the arm.

"You know what I mean. Have you texted her or sent her an e-mail or anything? Maybe you'd feel better about things if you did."

"I don't even know if she has a phone," I admitted. I'd never really considered it. "And I didn't think to ask for her e-mail," I added, sulking. I was a complete and total fail at relationships.

"You're screwed," Alice said with a laugh, flopping onto her back. But she popped back up again moments later, an irrepressible smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "What about university e-mail?" she excitedly asked.

"Huh?"

"University e-mail, Edward! You said she's a teacher. Wouldn't her e-mail be listed on the university website?"

I sat up straight in bed. Alice was right. Moving quickly to my desk, I opened Internet Explorer and navigated to the University of South Florida's website. I clicked on the individual colleges tab before entering the Department of Behavioral Sciences webpage. It took me a moment, but I was able to find a listing of all the department teachers and the classes they taught. And there, at the bottom of the page, listed under her last name was a picture of Isabella Swan. Beside her picture was an e-mail address.

"Oh, Edward, she's beautiful." Alice was staring at my computer screen from over my shoulder, and I couldn't help but smile. I honestly felt as if I had won the lottery. Not only did I find Bella's e-mail address, I now had a picture of her as well.

"She is, isn't she?" I agreed, smiling up at Alice.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" she impatiently asked. "Click on the link and send her an e-mail."

Suddenly I froze. Even though I was certain I wanted to talk to her, I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Would she want to hear from me over Christmas break? What if she didn't reply? There was a chance she didn't check university e-mail, but I would never know if that was the case, and I would be left to brood, wondering if the reason she didn't reply was because she didn't want to talk to me or because she hadn't checked her e-mail.

"Edward!" Alice called my name before softly reprimanding me. "Would you get out of your head and just send the damn e-mail?" she half laughed, half demanded.

"What if she doesn't want to hear from me?" I asked, feeling like a total pussy for being so whipped by a girl. "I mean, what exactly are the rules of engagement for this type of thing?"

"Rules of engagement?" Alice all but cried. "Edward, this isn't a fucking war. This is just a girl, and you're just a boy… don't make this so complicated."

"Right, because it's already complicated enough as it is," I mumbled.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and send the e-mail. Trust me, there's no harm in saying hello."

"No?" I asked, looking for assurance. I had no fucking idea why I was so nervous. Then again, maybe I did. In the course of forty-eight hours, I had managed to completely redefine my relationship with Bella without even consulting her about it. I was getting way ahead of myself, and I knew it. I had to calm the fuck down. Alice was right. Bella and I were friends. There was no reason whatsoever for me not to drop her a line.

"Okay, I'm going to do it," I said, and before I could think anymore about it, I hit send. I kept the message simple, telling her I just wanted to say hi and to give her my e-mail address in case she wanted to chat over the break. I wasn't really expecting an immediate response, but within ten minutes my g-mail account registered a new message. I didn't recognize the address it came from, thesoundofsilence gmail (dot) com, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it could only belong to one person. I opened the message and smiled widely at the words before me.

***Green Eyes, is that you?***

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

Umm… so I think I told some of you that Bella came back this chapter. She kinda does… but not in the manner in which I implied. I apologize. I got my chapters mixed up. The good news is that next chapter starts out with the two of them chatting with each other!

Rec: **In Places No One Will Find **by **CarrieCee**. This fic is absolutely amazing. I've been searching for awhile for a fic that really makes me feel something, and this story is it. The characters are richly developed, and the plot is tight and focused. Not a word is wasted in this beautifully written coming of age story that has left me laughing one moment and wiping my eyes the next. It's a stunning story. Description: When a hazing prank goes wrong, troublemaker Edward is thrown together with the unpopular daughter of the Police Chief. Bella Swan was the last person Edward was likely to fall for. But Bella has a lot to teach Edward about himself, love, life and loss.


	9. Impasse

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 9 - Impasse**

***Green Eyes, is that you?***

I grinned like an idiot at Bella's words. Even if I had wanted to, which I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to contain my smile. Apparently it was contagious, because I looked over my shoulder at Alice who was smiling just as widely as me.

"Green Eyes?" she asked, her smile quickly morphing into a smirk. "You failed to mention she's given you a nickname."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, are you going to respond?" Alice pressed. "Why don't you invite her to chat?"

I did as Alice suggested, and a moment later, Bella's name popped up in the bottom right hand corner of my screen.

**11:05 PM: **

**Bella: **Green Eyes! What a pleasant surprise! How are you?

Alice chuckled softly from over my shoulder, and I turned an evil eye on her.

"All right, all right, I can take a hint," she said with a wink. "You know where to find me if you need me." Alice continued to laugh quietly to herself as she exited my room. Turning my attention back to the computer screen, I briefly considered what I wanted to say before typing out my response.

**11:07 PM:**

**Me: **I'm terrific now and grinning like a fool.

**Bella: **Lol… you're certainly in a good mood! (What has you grinning like a fool?)

**Me: **You. ;) I like your nickname for me.

**Bella: **Well, it's very apt. You have beautiful eyes.

**11:09 PM:**

**Me: **As do you.

**11:10 PM:**

**Bella: **Thank you, you're very sweet. But honestly, I've always thought they were rather dull. Brown is kind of boring.

**Me: **Your eyes are anything but dull and boring. They're thoughtful and deep… and so expressive. They're beautiful.

** Bella: **Green Eyes, you're making me blush.

** Me: **I think I like that…

** Bella: **:) Hey… hold on a sec…

**11:17 PM: **

**Bella: **Sorry about that. My mother was switching the hallway light on and off, which is code for get down here right away!

** Me: **Uh oh, is everything okay?

** Bella: **Oh yes, she just wanted me to help put away the ornament boxes. We finished decorating the tree a little while ago.

** Me: **You're just now decorating the tree?

**Bella: **It's sort of a tradition for us. Every Christmas Eve, my father and I go into the woods and chop down a tree while my mother stays at home drinking too much eggnog. You know… the spiked type.

**11:20 PM: **

**Me: **Ha… your mother and I would get along well!

** Bella: **I think you're probably right. ;)

** Me: **Maybe I'll have the pleasure of meeting her one day?

** Bella: **I'd like that.

** Me: **Me too.

**Bella: **So, I thought of you today…

**11:22 PM:**

**Me: **You did? Why is that?

**Bella: **Actually, to be honest, I've been thinking about you ever since I dropped you off on Friday night…

**11:23 PM:**

**Me: **Really? Me too…

**Bella: **Edward? Can I ask you a question?

**Me: **Of course. You can ask me anything.

**Bella: **Are you interested in me?

**11:25 PM:**

**Me: **Umm…

** Bella: **I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I'm too direct for my own good sometimes.

** Me: **No – it's okay. Don't apologize. I just wasn't expecting it is all.

**Bella:** You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.

**Me: **You didn't… and yes, I'm interested in you. I had a really good time the other night.

** Bella: **I did too.

** Me: **I'm glad. Can I tell you something?

** Bella: **Of course.

** Me: **I wanted to kiss you, but I was worried about how you would react.

**Bella: **I probably would have kissed you back… but I'm not sure it would have been the right thing for me to do.

**Me: **Ahh… that's not exactly what I wanted to hear.

**Bella: **Ugh… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

**Me: **Why did you?

**Bella: **Because I'm confused. I really like you, Edward. I just wish things didn't have to be so complicated.

** Me: **Complicated? How?

**11:33 PM:**

**Bella: **Do I have to point out the obvious?

**11:34 PM: **

**Me: **What? That we speak two different languages?

**11:36 PM:**

**Bella: **It's more than that, Edward, and you know it. Please don't pretend that my deafness doesn't matter.

**11:38 PM:**

**Me: **I'm not pretending, Bella. It doesn't - at least not to me. Does it really matter that much to you?

**Bella: **We have limited means of communication. You don't sign…

**11:40 PM:**

**Me: **I realize this poses a challenge, but Bella? I'm learning, and I want to continue to learn.

**Bella: **Oh, Green Eyes, please don't take this the wrong way, but if I had a dollar for every boy who's said that, I'd be a rich girl.

**11:44 PM: **

**Me:** I'm different than the others, Bella. You should know that by now. You're… special to me.

**11:45 PM: **

**Bella:** I think that's what scares me the most. You're special to me too, but I'm not sure it's enough. I know how difficult this type of relationship is. It hardly ever works out…

** Me: **It doesn't have to be difficult, Bella. It's what we make of it, you and me.

** Bella: **I wish it was that easy.

**11:47 PM: **

**Me: **Isn't it? I like you, Bella. A lot. I think about you all the time. Why can't that be enough?

**11:51 PM:**

** Me: **Bella?

**Bella: **Sorry… sorry. Just thinking.

**Me: **About what?

**Bella: **I wish I wouldn't have brought this up tonight. I wish I would have waited until we're in Tampa. I want to see your face. I want you to see mine, so that you can see how important your friendship is to me.

**11:53 PM:**

**Me: **Friendship, huh?

**Bella: **Edward, please. This isn't easy for me.

**Me: **It isn't easy for me either. I'm attracted to you Bella, in every way that matters, and I think you feel the same.

**11:55 PM:**

**Bella: **It doesn't make a difference if I do. It doesn't change the situation.

**Me:** Why are you so resistant to this? I really don't understand.

**Bella: **I already told you. I know what it means to be in a deaf/hearing relationship, and I don't want to risk losing what we already have. I'm sorry, Edward, but as much as it costs me to say this, friendship is all I have to offer.

**12:00 AM: **

**Me: **For now…

**Bella: **For always, Green Eyes.

**Me: **We're at an impasse now, but…

**12:02 AM: **

**Bella: **Green Eyes?

**Me: **Yes?

**Bella: **Merry Christmas.

**12:04 AM: **

**Me: **Merry Christmas to you too, although technically Christmas won't arrive in Washington for another couple of hours.

**Bella: **Well, I'll be tucked underneath my covers when it does, which is where you should be too.

** Me:** Is this your way of saying goodbye?

**Bella:** Not because I want to, but I should really spend some time with my parents.

** Me: **Okay.

** Bella: **Are… we okay?

** Me: **Yeah… yes.

** Bella: **Are you sure? You're not upset with me?

** Me: **No, I'm not upset with you. Disappointed, yes, but not upset.

**12:10 AM:**

**Bella: **So we're still friends?

** Me: **Of course we are, even though it's obvious we both want something more…

** Bella: **Edward…

** Me: **Bella…

**Bella: **You're incorrigible, you know that?

**Me: **I prefer tenacious.

** Bella: **Can we chat again tomorrow?

** Me: **I'd like that. Same time, same place?

**Bella: **Same time, same place.

**Me: **Okay. Have a good night, Bella.

** Bella: **You too. Sleep tight, Green Eyes.

The following morning, I awoke feeling much better than I expected. I was pretty discouraged when I went to bed the night before, but a good night's sleep had lent some clarity to my situation. Even though Bella insisted we could only be friends, she had also admitted she had feelings for me, and that in and of itself was a victory.

As much as I wanted more, I could be Bella's friend, at least for now, because I knew that she felt more, and it was only a matter of time before our relationship evolved on its own. At least that's what I hoped for. Trying to think positively, I even went so far as to tell myself that it was better our conversation had played out as it had, because I was sure of one thing now. Although she would never willingly admit to it, Bella needed someone to fight for her. She needed to feel like she was worth the effort, and I was just the person for the job.

When I walked downstairs Christmas morning, I was greeted by the sound of Burl Ives singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" on the stereo. A quick glance into the family room told me that my father and Alice were already awake. I assumed my mother was too, and I ventured into the kitchen in search of her. I found her, arranging a plate full of cookies and fruit cake to carry into the family room.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," I said, bending to kiss her cheek. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Honey. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually," I replied. "How about you?"

My mother sighed as she placed one final cookie in the center of the plate.

"I didn't sleep so well."

"Oh?"

My mother's eyes met mine, and I could see that they were troubled.

"I'm sorry if I upset you yesterday," she told me. "I think I focused too much on the negative. I don't want you to think I'm not happy for you, Darling, because I am. All a mother wants is for her child to find someone that makes them happy. If Bella's that girl for you, it only makes sense for you to try to make things work."

"Thanks, mom," I said, surprised by, but grateful for her apology. I pulled her into a side hug, telling her, "I needed to hear that."

"I needed to say it," she said, patting my stomach.

A few minutes later, we carried the plate of cookies and fruit cake into the family room, only to be greeted by a loud round of applause. Both my father and Alice practically attacked me, eager to get to the sugary goodness. Soon after, my father donned a Santa hat and started distributing presents. There weren't nearly as many as there were when we were children, so it didn't take as long to open them. Before long, we'd run through the entire lot, and only a single present remained. It was for me, and I looked on curiously as my father deposited the gift in my hands.

"This one's for you, from your mother and me," he said. "Although I have to admit, I have no idea what's inside."

I looked at my mother questioningly, and she winked at me before leading my father over to the couch where they sat down together side by side.

"Relax, Carlisle," I heard her whisper once they'd taken their seats. "He's going to love it."

Thoroughly intrigued, I tugged at the gift wrap, only to find another layer of paper underneath. Always the comedian, my mother had wrapped my present in not one, not two, but six layers of wrapping paper. I was almost ready to throw the towel in when a tiny logo appeared on the box. I knew that logo. It was the Apple logo. And judging from the size of the box I was holding in my hand that could only mean one thing. I ripped off the remaining paper with unrestrained gusto and gasped at the gift in front of me.

"An iPad?" I exclaimed, completely taken aback. I wasn't expecting that. I looked up at my mother, who was biting down gently on her lower lip, and then to Alice, who looked as if she might cry.

My poor father looked thoroughly confused.

"An iPad, Esme?" he asked. "You thought he'd prefer an iPad over a Bose stereo?"

"Actually, yes," I said as I stood up from where I sat. I placed my new iPad on the table beside me before walking over and pulling my father into a hug.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, releasing him and turning my attention to my mother.

"Mom, I…" I didn't really know what to say. I knew now, without a doubt, that she supported my relationship with Bella. That was the most wonderful Christmas gift of all. Of course, my father was still in the dark, and I knew I needed to tell him about Bella as soon as possible, but first, I needed to properly thank my mother. Walking over to where she sat on the couch, I pulled her up and into a big hug, whispering my thanks into her ear.

"You're very welcome, Honey," she replied when she finally pulled away. "Now you know why I was almost late to church. I had an important exchange to make," she said with a wink.

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" my father asked from beside me, and Alice, my mother and I all started laughing.

Later that evening, my father lay snoring on the couch, Alice was talking on the phone, my mother was paging through a book, and I was sitting in the middle of my most favorite chair in the entire house, playing with my new iPad. After receiving my unexpected gift, I spent the next hour telling my father about Bella. He sat back and listened patiently, waiting for me to finish before asking any questions. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to have any reservations about her. He was curious about how we communicated, but he was more concerned with my happiness than anything else. I did take a moment to reiterate to both of my parents that despite my interest in learning sign language, I wouldn't let it interfere with my grades. They both seemed relieved to hear this, and l hoped that would put an end to any concern they might have that I was biting off more than I could chew - because I wasn't. I felt certain of that.

Glancing down at my watch now, I saw that it was still only half past seven. I desperately wanted to talk to Bella, but we had agreed last night to chat at 11 CST. That meant I still had four hours to kill. Not having anything better to do, I started to map out my schedule for next semester. I had already registered for all my classes, but I hadn't yet taken the time to work out the rest of my schedule. I would have to find time for volunteering, piano practice and studying. Then there was the sign language course I intended to take…

Figuring now was as good a time as any, I accessed the web on my iPad and browsed the University of South Florida's class availability list. I already knew what class I was interested in taking; I only hoped it was being offered. After a few minutes of searching, I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that spread across my face when I discovered that it was. Better yet, there was still space available. Not wasting a moment's time, I began the online registration process, and within five minutes, I was officially enrolled in Beginning Sign Language I. Quite satisfied with myself, I set my iPad to the side. It had been a long and lazy day, and I figured I may as well take a nap before signing onto g-chat with Bella. If nothing else, it would help to pass the time.

I awoke several hours later to the tender touch of my mother's hand as she gently shook my shoulder.

"Edward, Honey, wake up."

I grumbled a little, brushing her hand to the side in an effort to continue sleeping. Then, suddenly, my eyes popped wide open.

"What time is it?" I asked in a panic as I sat straight up in the chair. My mother stared down at me in amusement before informing me that it was nearly eleven. I exhaled a small sigh of relief, thankful I hadn't slept through the night.

"You must have been tired," my mother noted. "You've been sleeping for hours. I wasn't going to wake you, but I was afraid you'd get a kink in your neck."

I rubbed my hand along the back of my neck, kneading my fingers where it was stiff.

"Yeah… thanks for thinking of that. Where is everybody, anyway?" I asked, scrubbing my hands over my face.

"They're in bed already, Dear. It was a lazy day for us all. I'm heading that way too. Is there anything I can get you before I go upstairs?"

I looked up at my mother and shook my head. She smiled down at me then and bent to kiss my cheek.

"Goodnight, Honey," she murmured before heading towards the landing.

"Hey, Mom?" I called after her before she had a chance to make it very far. My mother turned around and looked at me, and I thanked her again for the iPad. She nodded at me, her warm, amber eyes looking through me as only a mother's could, and then she was gone, upstairs, to join my father and sister in sleep. Not wanting to be late for my chat with Bella, I made my way upstairs soon after, with yet another serving of Christmas cookies in hand.

As soon as I powered on my laptop and navigated to g-mail, Bella's name popped up. It gave me a small measure of satisfaction knowing that she had been the one to initiate contact tonight.

**11:03 PM:**

**Bella: **Green Eyes? Are you around?

** Me: **Present and accounted for. How are you? How was your Christmas?

**Bella:** I'm great, and my Christmas was lovely. How was yours?

**11:05 PM:**

**Me: **Much better than I expected. You'll never guess what my parents got me.

**Bella: **What?

**Me: **That's no fun… you have to guess!

**11:07 PM:**

** Bella: **Um… new shoes?

**Me: **Too practical.

**Bella: **An electric toothbrush?

**Me: **Too boring.

**11:09 PM:**

**Bella: **Hmm… let's see… a golf club drink dispenser?

**Me: **Lol… what the hell is that?

**Bella:** I don't know. I saw it in the Sharper Image catalog on my flight out here. It looked interesting.

**Me: **Too weird. Besides, I don't play golf.

**Bella: **Okay. I give up.

**Me: **Are you sure?

**Bella:** Yes. Tell me, please!

**11:12 PM:**

**Me: **All right, all right… I got an iPad!

** Bella: **Really? That's awesome! What a coincidence!

**11:14 PM: **

**Me: **Actually, not really. I told my family about you.

** Bella: **You did?

** Me: **Yeah. I hope that's okay.

**Bella: **Of course it's okay**. **

**11:17 PM:**

**Me: **My mother says you sound like a "lovely young lady".

**Bella: **That's kind of embarrassing.

**Me: **My sister can't wait to meet you, either. She's planning to visit over Spring Break. If you'll be around, you can meet her then.

**Bella: **That would be really nice. And yes… I'll be around. That's the great thing about living in Florida… the beach is right in your back yard. No need to leave the state for Spring Break.

**11:21 PM:**

**Me: **I agree. So, did you get anything interesting for Christmas?

** Bella: **Nah… just a heifer.

**11:24 PM:**

**Me: **What? A heifer? As in, a cow?

** Bella: **Yep. I got a cow, my mother got a got a goat, and my father got a pig.

**11:26 PM: **

**Me: **You're not serious.

**Bella: **Completely.

**Me: **Really? Those are... rather unusual gifts.

**Bella: **That's diplomatic. ;)

**Me: **Do your parents live on a farm?

**Bella: **Lol… no. The gifts are only symbolic. We purchased them through the Heifer Foundation. The actual animals are donated to people in Third World countries.

**Me: **Oh! You had me wondering there. That's really nice by the way. (Is it wrong that I keep reading the Hefner Foundation?)

**Bella: **Yeah… it's something we enjoy doing. There's no need to stress out over what to get each other for Christmas, and we help others out in the process. It's a win, win situation. (What's the Hefner Foundation?)

** Me: **It is. You have a very kind heart. (You know… Hugh Hefner?)

** Bella: **Thank you. (Who's Hugh Hefner?)

**11:32 PM:**

**Me: **Um... yeah. He's just some random CEO. So, how's the weather in your part of the country?

**Bella: **You're asking me about the weather?

**Me:** Sure, why not?

**Bella:** You're a Playboy sort of guy, huh?

** Me: **What?

** Bella: **Gotcha!

**11:36 PM:**

**Me: **Hmm… well, I'd answer your question, but that's not really the type of thing that *friends* discuss… ;)

** Bella: **Touché! You got me! ;)

Over the next ten days, Bella and I chatted online at the same time every night, often times for several hours. It was nice to have so much uninterrupted time with her, and I really felt that in that short period of time, we came to know each other a lot better. I certainly knew more about Bella than I did before we left for the break, that's for sure. Several nights ago, Bella had finally taken the time to explain a little bit more about her past to me, and I felt privileged that she trusted me enough to do so.

As it turns out, Bella was born completely deaf. Her deafness was labeled as unexplained, which meant there was no known precursor to her disability. Her mother, Renee, had an uncomplicated pregnancy and birth, and there was no history of deafness in the family. Needless to say, Bella's deafness had come as a shock. Luckily, her mother immediately recognized that something wasn't right, and from the time that Bella was several months old, her parents were signing to her. They, of course, had to learn to sign. Their world had been turned upside down by the birth of a deaf child, and within a year of Bella being born, her mother quit her job as an elementary school teacher in order to devote her full attention to raising her deaf daughter.

When Bella was just two years old, she began intensive oral therapy, i.e. speech therapy and lip reading. I was surprised to learn that Bella could actually speak several words, she just chose not to because she claimed she was practically incomprehensible. Rather than focus on learning to talk (which Bella would never be able to effectively do), Bella's mother had chosen to push lip reading and mastery of the English language. She spent several hours every day, teaching Bella to both read and write, hoping that down the road these skills would provide her with the ability to compete in a predominately hearing world. This was why Bella's written English was nearly flawless, she explained. Apparently she was an exception; a majority deaf people never mastered writing.

It had been hard for me to hear Bella speak about growing up deaf. The isolation she felt was clear, and had eventually driven her to ask her parents to send her to a school for the deaf. She'd persevered as the only deaf child in Forks until she was 13 years old, but her inability to effectively communicate with and bond with her peers had eventually worn her down. She felt isolated and excluded, and she wanted to feel like she belonged, she said. It all but broke my heart to know that she never felt as if she did.

The summer before eighth grade, Bella's father, Charlie, took a job with the sheriff's office in Jacksonville. They put their house in Forks up for rent and drove cross-country to Florida, where Bella started attending The Florida School for the Deaf and Blind. Bella hadn't said much about her years there, only that it hadn't been the experience she'd been expecting. Nevertheless, she remained there through graduation, after which she moved to Tampa to begin college. It was then that Bella's father had been offered a job as Chief of Police back in Forks. After five years away, he and Renee moved back home which is how Bella found herself in Forks for the holidays.

It was now the night before I was set to leave for Tampa. While I had enjoyed my time in Chicago, I was really looking forward to going back to school. There were various reasons why, but the most important reason was Bella. I couldn't wait to see her again. In fact, I could barely contain my excitement. It was going to be very difficult for me not to pick her up off the ground and swing her around when I saw her again. I wanted to do that. I wanted to kiss her too. But I couldn't… because we were just friends. But starting Monday, I was hoping that would begin to change. Operation _Win Bella's Heart_ would officially kick into motion at approximately 4 p.m., and from that point forward, there would be no turning back.

One way or another, I was going to make Bella Swan mine.

**Endnotes:**

**Wow. This chapter was a formatting nightmare. Fanfiction doesn't allow you to do much in the way of indenting and underlining. Sorry if the g-chat conversation was a nightmare to follow. **

**Thanks for all of your words of sympathy last week. You have no idea how comforting it was for me to share stories of beloved pets with some of you. It was very healing for me. **

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	10. Surprise

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 10 – Surprise **

I was nervous as hell.

It was the first day back to school, and I was sitting in class.

Teaching Assistant Isabella Swan's Introduction to Sign Language class, to be exact.

Other students milled around me, but none of them had yet to take their seats. It was still early; class wasn't slated to begin until 4 p.m., and it was just after 3:30. I had decided to arrive early because I wanted to be seated up front, in the first row, when Bella arrived. Or maybe it was better to sit in the back…

_Fuck!_

Signing up for Bella's class had seemed like such a brilliant idea over Christmas break. I wanted to prove to her that I was serious about learning sign language, and what better way to do that than to register for her class? But now I was worried. Would she be upset with me for not consulting her first? I wanted my presence in her class to be a surprise, but I couldn't push aside the nagging feeling that I should have talked to her before making my decision.

In an effort to bide time until class began, I opened my newly purchased textbook and started flipping through the pages. There were many signs that I already recognized, but so many more that were foreign to me. I would definitely have a leg up in this class, having already started to learn sign, but given the choice between Sign Language I or II, I felt this class was most appropriate for me.

I was glancing over signs for different emotions when a sprightly young blonde wearing a generic smile and a skirt that was border-line inappropriate entered the room. I looked up without thinking, smiling politely when her eyes briefly met mine. Unfortunately, she took that as an invitation to walk my way, and I inwardly groaned when she sat down beside me, telling myself that I really needed to stop smiling at unfamiliar women. It was an entirely harmless act that somehow _always_ seemed to be misinterpreted. I wasn't looking for company - I was merely trying to be polite.

I tried to ignore the girl as she shuffled through her things, but when she leaned towards me and whispered, "I hear the teacher is deaf," I couldn't help but turn to face her.

"So?" I huffed, slightly irritated. I didn't like her tone of voice. She spoke as if Bella's deafness was some sort of shameful secret. I felt like I was in high school all over again, where kids thought it was cool to make fun of other people.

"So, it means we won't get into trouble for talking in class. She won't be able to hear us," the girl giggled. "I'm Jessica, by the way."

"Edward," I mumbled in response. "And you do realize she can read lips, don't you? She's deaf, not blind," I tersely pointed out.

"Who can read lips?" Jessica dumbly wondered, and it took all the will power I had not to roll my eyes.

"The teacher," I clarified.

"Really? How do you know? Are you two friends?"

_Shit._

Suddenly, I was extremely uncomfortable. I had walked straight into that question, but I had no idea how to respond to it. I didn't think there was any harm in admitting that I knew Bella; we were friends, after all. But I was afraid that if I did, Jessica might infer from my defensiveness that Bella was _more_ to me than just a friend, so instead, I decided to lie.

"No," I mumbled while turning away. "Most deaf people can read lips. I'm just assuming she can too."

"Oh," Jessica replied, seeming genuinely surprised. "I didn't know that. I'm just taking this class to fulfill my foreign language requirement. I figured it would be easier than learning French or some other language like that. I took Spanish in high school and I don't remember a thing!"

_Why wasn't I surprised?_

I forced a smile in Jessica's direction, simultaneously wondering if I should move to another seat. I wasn't sure I could handle sitting next to her for an entire class period. The problem was, if I moved, I would lose my place in the front row, and I was no longer indecisive about where I wanted to sit. I didn't want my face to get lost in the crowd; I wanted to be the first person Bella saw when she walked through the classroom door.

In an effort to disengage myself from my conversation with Jessica, I turned away from her and busied myself at my desk. Unfortunately, my deterrence strategy didn't work for long, and soon, she leaned in towards me and started to chatter again.

"So why are you taking this class?" she asked. Her eyes traveled to where I was intently studying my text before wandering back up to my face again. Sighing, I turned back in her direction.

"Just interested in learning something different, I guess," I replied, lying through my teeth.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it will be an easy A," she commented with a wave of her hand. "I mean, how hard can it be to talk with your hands?"

"It's actually more difficult than you might think," I noted, somewhat annoyed with her ignorant assumptions. "And it's not just about talking with your hands. You have to use your entire body to communicate when using sign. Your facial expressions are especially important."

Jessica stared at me with an amused expression on her face.

"Wow… you're like… really into this, aren't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response.

"I just figure if you're going to take a class, you may as well get as much out of it as possible."

"Well, I can see that I chose the right person to sit by," Jessica laughed. She surprised me by reaching her hand out and lightly touching my arm, and fuck me if Bella didn't walk into the room just then. I tensed as her eyes locked with mine; they opened wide with shock before narrowing slightly in unmistakable irritation. Though I had quickly pulled my arm away, Bella had seen Jessica touching me, and I was fairly certain she didn't like it. I tried to hold her attention, telling her with my pointed gaze that the act was entirely meaningless, but as quickly as she had appeared in the room, Bella walked to her desk, where she proceeded to unpack her bag and begin making preparations for class.

I watched her as she powered on her laptop and sorted through a stack of papers, hoping that she would look my way, but she didn't, and whether or not that was on purpose, I didn't know. Regardless, I couldn't help but stare at her. It felt like forever since I had seen her up close, and I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she was. Bella had worn her hair down today, and it even looked as if she might have straightened it. It was long, dark and sleek, and I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through it. And her face… _fuck_, it was gorgeous; I couldn't tear my eyes away from the smoky shadow that painted her eyes. She must have noticed my focused attention because suddenly she looked up, her beautiful brown eyes meeting mine.

I tried to read her expression as she stared at me – tried to see if she was at all upset or annoyed, but it was impossible to do. This woman, who was often so easy to read, also had the frustrating ability to shut herself off. I supposed it wasn't fair for me to expect anything more. Bella had a class to conduct, after all. Still, I worried again that I had made a mistake by enrolling in her class; I didn't want this to be uncomfortable for either one of us. Sitting there, I wished that she would offer me something… anything to let me know that everything was all right. And then there it was, almost as if she had read my mind, the tiniest pull of her lips let me know that she was amused, if not pleased, by my presence in her class. It was a fleeting smile, but it was there nonetheless, and I relaxed back into my seat, feeling marginally better about my decision.

Class turned out to be a fairly low key event. Bella introduced herself by using sign language and carefully finger-spelling her name. Several students attempted to mimic her actions, and I wondered if I looked as awkward as they did when I signed. Their fingers didn't seem to do what their brains were asking them to, and there was a lot of amused laughter, Bella's included, as they tried to figure it out. Bella took roll on her laptop, which was attached to a large screen projector. She pointed to each student's name and had them raise their hands to indicate their presence in her class. She followed that up by finger-spelling each of their names and asking them to do the same. Every student struggled with this task – every student but me.

When Bella reached my name on the roster, I notice her pause, taking a deep breath before looking up in my direction. Even though she already knew I was present, I still had to play the part, so I raised my hand, watching with mild disappointment as she finger-spelled my name. I didn't like that. I didn't want her finger-spelling my name; it seemed so impersonal. Instead, I wanted her to use my given sign name. Although I still didn't know the meaning behind it, it warmed my insides to see her shake the letter "e" in front of her. But I realized it would have been inappropriate for her to address me like that, especially on the first day of class, so I did my best to remain stoic and not be bothered when she finger-spelled my name.

After taking roll, Bella initiated a question and answer session, where every student was tasked with asking a question about sign language or people that are hearing impaired. Students were instructed to come forward to the front of the room, where Bella demonstrated the art of lip reading by carefully watching each student ask their question and then answering it with the help of her laptop. Students were amazed by Bella's ability to read lips. Me? I was amazed by _her_. Watching her teach was fascinating. Bella exuded confidence and enthusiasm, and despite the fact we were a class full of beginners, she managed to communicate with everyone just fine. Her warm smile and friendly demeanor immediately put the class at ease, and by the time the question and answer session came to a close, students were excited about practicing finger-spelling. Thirty minutes in, and Bella had motivated her class to learn. That was the sign of a gifted teacher.

"You were right," Jessica whispered, leaning in towards me after we partnered up to practice finger-spelling. "She _can_ read lips."

Again, I did my best not to roll my eyes. This girl was really beginning to irritate me, but unfortunately, I had been left with little choice but to work with her. The boy that was sitting next to me obviously had eyes for the girl sitting adjacent to him, and Jessica had turned to face me as if it was already decided that we would be partners. So I worked with her, practicing the letters of the alphabet as we were instructed to do, and partway through, I noticed Bella surreptitiously eyeing us from the corner of the room. It made my heart go haywire, knowing that she was watching me, and when Jessica wasn't looking, I managed to throw a smirk in her direction. Bella barely suppressed a smile of her own before turning to assist another student.

It's amazing how fast a class passes when you are interested in what you're learning. Before I knew it, fifty minutes was over, and everybody was packing up their things in preparation to leave. I was proud of myself. Both Bella and I had managed to flawlessly act the parts of both teacher and student, even though every part of me yearned to reach out and touch her. I wanted to hug Bella. I wanted to kiss her hello (on the cheek, of course), but most of all, I wanted to make her smile. It had been too long since I'd last seen her face light up in that special way that made my heart skip a beat in my chest. Even though I had arrived in Tampa several days before, Bella was busy preparing for her classes, and I was worried that if I saw her before school started, I would give my secret away. So I waited, and today was the first day I had seen her in several long weeks.

I hung back as the last of the students filed out of the room, waiting impatiently to _finally_ be alone with Bella. She turned to me after bidding the last student farewell, and she sighed, biting down softly on her lower lip while simultaneously shaking her head at me. A small smile formed in the corners of her mouth then, and that was all the encouragement I needed to rise to my feet and make my way in her direction. It was all I could do not to tackle her, so strong was my urge to take her in my arms, but when I bent down to hug her hello, a slightly panicked expression flashed across her face. Bella quickly shook her head _no_, and I immediately stepped away.

_*Sorry,*_ she swiftly signed, regret rimming her apologetic eyes, and she didn't need to say anything more. The way her eyes nervously darted in the direction of the hall told me that she was anxious about being spotted.

_It's okay,_ I reassured her, realizing that I needed to be more cautious. Bella was a teacher after all, and I was her student, which meant that we had to be careful to establish appropriate boundaries while in class. _I understand_. _How are you? _I asked, and with those words, all of Bella's nervousness seemed to slip away. She raised a teasing brow.

_*Surprised. How are you?*_

I smiled sheepishly at her.

_Are you mad?_

Thankfully, Bella shook her head _no_. Her expression softened and she smiled tenderly at me as her fingers very quickly brushed against mine.

_*I'm not mad. Surprised… yes. But not mad. You have a kind heart.*_

My _kind_ heart was currently beating wildly out of control. Just the brush of Bella's fingers against my own was enough to make it skip several beats. Despite the fact she didn't want me to, I really wanted to hug Bella… to whisk her away from here and show her how happy I was to see her. We had spent too long apart.

_Can you go for a walk?_ I signed with a hopeful expression on my face. Bella bit down on her lower lip again, and I wished she would stop doing that. It was very hard for me to control my body's reactions around her, and I didn't want to embarrass myself. Bella smiled softly at me before nodding and motioning for me to wait. I did so willingly, standing by patiently while she collected her things.

_Do you have any more classes today?_ I signed once we finally exited the room. Bella's amused eyes met mine, and she was barely able to contain her smile.

_What?_ I signed, slightly bemused by her expression.

_*You've been practicing,* _Bella replied with a wide grin of approval, and I ducked my head, feeling suddenly shy. I wanted so much to impress this girl and to show her I was serious about learning sign; it made me feel good, if not slightly embarrassed, that she had noticed.

Bella and I traversed the halls together, making our way to the front of the building. Once outside, I paused and asked her where she wanted to go. She motioned toward the library, and I nodded in response, following along beside her. Bella and I didn't sign while we walked. I wasn't yet able to multitask like that; simultaneously signing and walking proved to be very difficult for me. But while it frustrated me that this restricted our communication, I also enjoyed the simple act of being in Bella's presence. There was something nice about the easiness that surrounded us as we walked; we didn't have to fill the space between us with mindless chatter.

After a few minutes, we approached the entrance to the library, and I paused outside, uncertain of what Bella intended to do. My face fell a little when I considered that perhaps she wanted to study, but my concerns were quickly laid to rest when she held up a single finger, signaling for me to wait while she hurried up the steps and dropped some books in the repository. Turning back in my direction, she smiled softly at me as she returned to my side.

_*Do you want to walk some more?* _she asked. Her eyes were hopeful, just like mine, and I nodded _yes_ without hesitation. I pointed in the direction of the Engineering building, knowing there was a beautiful old oak tree under which we could sit and talk. It was also private, tucked off to the side where few people ever ventured. Again, we walked quietly, neither one of us attempting to sign. I'm not sure I would have been able to anyway, with the way her body was brushing against mine. We were walking closely together, our shoulders sometimes touching when our steps happened to fall in sync. Several times her pinky finger brushed against mine, and it was so goddamn tempting to link them together, but I didn't. I wasn't sure my heart could handle it if she pulled away, and something told me that she would. She wouldn't want to, but she would.

When we arrived at the tree, I asked Bella if she wanted to sit for awhile, and she nodded in response. She slipped her bag off of her shoulder and was about to lower herself to the ground when I surprised her by wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close. I couldn't help it… I _had_ to touch her. I _had_ to hold her in my arms, if only for a moment. Not being able to do so earlier was nearly my undoing.

Bella tensed at first, completely taken off guard by my impromptu embrace, and she stood still for a moment, a statue in my arms, before slowly, tentatively, sliding her arms around my waist. Settling herself against my chest, she exhaled a small sigh, almost as if she was as relieved as I was to finally be in my arms.

Jesus it felt good to hold her like this. We had never touched like this before, where the two of us stood chest to chest in an intimate embrace. Sure, I'd held her from behind while dancing with her at _Technique_, but this? This was different. Bella's head rested firmly against my heart, and I wondered if she could feel it thumping madly in my chest. I could feel hers, and it was racing. I hugged her closer, lowering my cheek to the top of her head and marveling at how perfectly she fit against me with her head tucked comfortably under my chin. I wanted to stand there, holding her like that forever, imprisoning her indefinitely in my arms, but eventually she pulled away.

_*What was that for?*_ she shyly signed after I reluctantly let her go. I noticed her nervously glancing around, but I ignored it, focusing instead on my hands that remained resting lightly on her hips. Taking a chance, I used my thumbs to rub several tiny circles there, and I watched triumphantly as Bella's eyes momentarily fluttered closed.

_I missed you_, I signed when she opened them again, causing another shy smile to light up her face. Her eyes held mine for a moment before she slowly signed back.

_*I missed you too.*_

I grinned widely at Bella, overjoyed by her admission. Taking yet another chance, I took her hand in mine, relishing in the feeling of our fingers linked together as I tugged us to the ground. Once we were seated, we both reached for our bags, and we laughed as we withdrew matching iPads and situated them on top of our laps.

Bella was the first to begin typing.

***You really surprised me today. I wasn't expecting you to register for my class.***

** I hope it was a good surprise.**

** *Yes, of course it was! I'm not sure how you managed to keep it a secret.***

** Believe me, it wasn't easy. I registered Christmas day. I was so tempted to tell you when we spoke that night, but I also wanted it to be a surprise. **

** *Well, it was definitely a surprise.***

** I'm glad you're not upset with me.**

** *How could I possibly be upset with you?***

** Earlier today… I started to worry, thinking that maybe I shouldn't have kept it a secret. I should have included you in the decision…**

** *Oh, Green Eyes, it was a wonderful surprise. Do you know that nobody has ever gone to the trouble of learning sign language for me? You continually go out of your way to do nice things for me. To be honest, it's kind of overwhelming… in a good way. I'm really flattered, but mostly I'm just grateful.***

Bella peeked up at me, her cheeks flushing red with her admission. Unable to control myself, I reached out and brushed my fingers along the edge of her jaw, letting them linger there as I tilted her face in my direction. When her eyes locked with mine, I clearly stated, "I told you before, I'm not going anywhere. If we are going to be friends, I need to learn to sign."

Bella sighed, her soft brown eyes holding mine as she absorbed the significance of my words. I could see that they affected her, stirring something deep inside, and I hoped that meant she was finally starting to believe that I was different from all the others; I wanted to be a permanent part of her life. Bella had never asked me to prove this to her, and I knew she never would. Still, I hoped this gesture – registering for her class, demonstrated my true intentions and showed her just how much I cared.

My fingers remained resting on Bella's jaw, and I began softly caressing it, slowly brushing my thumb back and forth along the line connecting her chin and cheek. Her breathing quickened at my tender touch, her eyes falling closed as she exhaled a slow, soft sigh, and I was so goddamn tempted to cross the line she'd drawn. I wanted to kiss her. Our faces were so close. With a gentle tug, her lips would meet mine, and I could show her how I truly felt. But then she reached up, gently wrapping her fingers around mine and pulling my hand away, and the moment was lost… gone.

Bella's regretful eyes met mine, and she slowly shook her head _no_ before turning to her iPad.

***You can't touch me like that.* **

**Why not?**

I looked over at Bella, puzzled as to why she was pushing me away, only to see that she looked truly upset. This surprised me, and I furrowed my brows in confusion. Just moments ago, Bella had seemed perfectly contented, but that wasn't the case anymore, and I had no idea why. As I read what she was typing over her shoulder, I began to understand.

***Edward, please. If someone sees us, there's a chance I could get into trouble.* **

It didn't take much for me to read between the lines and figure out what Bella was so concerned about. Truthfully, it had been lingering in the back of my mind since she refused to hug me after class. Bella was my teacher, and I was her student, and under certain circumstances, it was important for us to maintain clear boundaries. I knew that, but I didn't understand why this was an issue right now. We weren't in class. We were alone, outside, spending time together as friends.

** We're alone, Bella. There's nobody around but us. Besides, we're just friends. **

The last statement wasn't entirely true, and both Bella and I knew it. But I had the feeling that now wasn't the time to discuss that.

** _*_ I can't take any chances, Edward. My job pays for my tuition.***

I leveled my eyes at Bella then, concerned by what she was suggesting. Did she feel her job was in jeopardy, simply because I was a student in her class?

** What happens if someone sees us together? I'm a little confused… **

** *The problem is, I really don't know. Spending time with students outside of class isn't against university rules, per se, but it isn't necessarily encouraged either. I just want to be careful not to give anyone the wrong impression. Teaching Assistants are easily replaceable, Edward, and believe me, I've been fired before for lesser reasons.***

Bella's hand seemed to shake a little as she typed, and I reached out and stilled it with my own. I had never seen her like this… so anxious and so worried, and I felt bad that I was the one that had made her feel that way. Suddenly, I was second guessing my decision to register for her class. I knew when I did that we would have to exercise a certain amount of caution, but I hadn't considered that spending time together outside of class would violate university policy. We were adults, for Christ's sake. This wasn't high school. Still, I respected Bella's predicament, and I wanted her to know that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her job.

** I understand. I won't touch you like that again.**

Bella lifted her face to me, and I could see that my words were as difficult for her to read as they were for me to write. She didn't want that. She didn't want me to refrain from touching her… I was almost certain of it. But she wasn't in any position to argue. Our relationship… who we were to each other was so poorly defined, even more so after today, that I don't think she knew _what_ to say. I wished we could just be honest with each other about what was really going on, but it seemed Bella still wasn't ready for this, so I didn't push.

She swallowed hard, bringing her fisted hand to her chest and circling twice.

*I'm sorry.*

**It's okay.**

** *You could always register for another class…* **

**Is that what you want? Would that make a difference?**

Bella knew exactly what I was asking. If I dropped the class, would she willingly allow me to touch her? Was there a chance for us to be something more than just friends?

To my great disappointment, Bella looked up at me and slowly shook her head.

_**No - **_**it's not what you want, or **_**no - **_**it wouldn't make a difference?**

I needed clarification.

** *Both, Edward. Both.* **

I sighed.

** Okay. I'll stay in your class.**

Bella smiled at me, though it was a weak smile, dampened by the frustrating circumstances surrounding our relationship.

**And we will remain as friends…**

She hesitated only a moment before nodding _yes_.

**Friends who need to be careful…**

God this was exasperating, and even though it wasn't funny at all, I couldn't help but crack a smile at the ridiculousness of it all. Bella caught onto my mood, and I noticed an earnest smile tugging at her lips in return. I longed to reach out and trace it with my fingertips, to softly kiss its edges, but instead, I scooted closer to Bella until our shoulders were nearly touching.

** We'll make this work, all right?**

And I was pretty sure we both knew I was referring to much more than how we'd manage a teacher/student relationship.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

Rec: **The Other Side of Me** by **BelieveItOrNot**. While the subject matter is a difficult one to read (acquaintance rape), this poignant story is thoughtfully written with both beauty and grace. It is perhaps the most intelligently written and comprehensive look at the long and painful journey of healing that I have read in all of the Fandom. Her characters are relatable and believable, and Bella and Edward's efforts to overcome a traumatic act will both humble and inspire you. Give it a try.


	11. Defining the Indefinable

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 11 – Defining the Indefinable**

It is a funny thing, trying to define the indefinable. I had spent weeks trying to make sense of my relationship with Bella, but I was no closer to being able to define it now than I was five weeks ago at the beginning of the semester.

My first week back to school, I was hopeful that Bella and I were making progress. She seemed just as happy as I was to see her after Christmas break, and my hopes were actually buoyed when she reacted so cautiously to my presence in her class. She was worried that our relationship would be misunderstood, but if we were just friends, why should she be concerned? Both she and I knew it was because we were so much more to each other than friends, but Bella was still not ready to outwardly acknowledge this.

There had been one unexpected but extremely promising turn in our relationship over the course of the last several weeks, and it had come at Bella's suggestion. One week into my status as a student officially enrolled in her class, she had brought up the idea of studying together – away from school, at her apartment, to be exact. Our time together at school was limited now, and she seemed just as anxious as I was to spend some time alone.

Our first night in her apartment was wonderful. Needless to say, we didn't study much. We were too busy catching up with each other, excitedly discussing our first week of classes and anything else that came to mind. Bella apologized that things needed to be this way, but I was perfectly fine with the arrangement if it meant that I could spend time with her in her own home. She told me she was going to talk to her advisor to be clear on university policy, and I told her she should do whatever she was comfortable with. I would support her decision either way.

***I hope you don't think I'm overreacting.***

Bella peered up at me from where she sat on the couch, her iPad situated squarely in the center of her lap. I had accidently left mine at my apartment, but that just meant that Bella and I had to sit closer together to share hers, which obviously, I didn't mind.

**I don't think that at all. I just wish I had thought things through before deciding to enroll in your class.**

Even though Bella and I had both agreed I would remain in her class, I still worried that I had made the wrong decision, but when Bella reached her hand out, resting it reassuringly on my arm, those feelings faded to black.

_*You made the right decision,* _she signed, and I could see in her eyes that she was being honest with me.

_ Can I ask you something?_

_*You know you can ask me anything.*_

**Last week, when we were sitting beneath the tree, you mentioned being fired for lesser reasons than hanging out with friends. I've been wondering about that. Do you mind telling me what happened?**

Bella sighed heavily, her face turning away from me as she gazed out her sliding glass door. Her expression was suddenly somber, and I immediately regretted asking my question, but then she turned back to me, smiling softly, letting me know it was okay.

***I don't mind, Green Eyes. If you really want to know, I'll tell you.***

_I do. _

Bella nodded, and began telling her story.

** *It happened several years ago, when I was a junior in college and I decided I wanted to get a job. It was my first time applying to work anywhere. I wanted to work in high school, but my parents wouldn't hear of it. They thought I needed to focus on my studies. They weren't wild about me applying for jobs in college, either, but they understood my desire to feel like I was contributing something towards my education. I didn't like that they shouldered the entire financial burden themselves, especially considering the amount of money they had paid for me to attend the school for the deaf. **

** I wasn't sure where I wanted to work, but Jake helped me out. He went around town with me, collecting applications from potential employers. Right out of the gate, I knew there were some jobs I probably wouldn't be hired for. I can't speak and I can't hear, so that automatically limits my options. But for all the things I can't do, there are that many more that I can. All I needed was for someone to give me a chance. **

** I was given that chance by a copy shop. The day I applied for the job, a corporate manager happened to be in the store, and he took a liking to me, or so I thought. In retrospect, I think he was just trying to make it appear as if he cared about diversity within his staff. He hired me as an example of how *forward thinking* his company was. The problem was the store manager didn't feel the same. He didn't like me from the start, and even though my tasks weren't complicated, he made my job very difficult to do. **

** For example, he refused to communicate with me through writing, even though the times I needed him to were few and far between. My job basically entailed filling various copy orders for students and local businesses. There were always clear cut instructions as to what the client needed, but sometimes I had a question. He was always irritated when I approached him with a piece of paper in hand. Back then, I didn't have my iPad, so I relied more on pen and paper. I tried not to take his attitude too personally, but it was hard not to. Some days he would follow closely behind me, watching my every move, almost if he was waiting for me to screw up so that he could fire me. Other times, if I made a mistake, he would call me stupid in front of other employees, not remembering… or caring that I could read lips. Not that I needed to read his lips; I always knew when he was making comments about me because the other employees looked uncomfortable.**

** One day he took things too far. Businesses are required by law to supply an interpreter for mandatory training and meetings. When I was first hired, I had an interpreter with me during orientation and my first several days of work. After that, it wasn't necessary, not until my manager called a meeting to discuss changes in service protocol several months later. He conveniently forgot to arrange for an interpreter that day, but luckily, I was able to call Jake. He came right away and translated for me, but by the time he arrived, several key changes had already been discussed that nobody bothered to tell me about. At the end of the meeting, I approached my manager and asked if there was anything I had missed, but he said there wasn't, and foolishly, I believed him. **

** The following week, a huge order came in from a new client we'd just landed an account with. Apparently, we were supposed to fast track any copy requests from this client, prioritizing them above everybody else. The problem was I never got that memo. I had *missed* that important part of the staff meeting and was never told their orders were to be handled first. So, when the secretary came looking for her copies at the end of my work day and I hadn't even started the job, my manager fired me on the spot for incompetency. He set me up to fall, Edward, and I fell right into his trap.***

I had been reading over Bella's shoulders as she recounted her story on her iPad, and when she pulled her fingers away from the keyboard and swallowed hard, I knew she was done. I was speechless, absolutely stunned by what had happened to her. I had never really considered how difficult it was for a person with a disability to get by in this world, but Bella's experiences were certainly an eye-opener for me. I was completely disgusted by her manager, unable to believe that someone could be so malicious and cold. Reaching down, I took her hand in mine, her eyes meeting mine as I circled her hand in the center of my chest.

_Sorry_, I signed, her hand sheltered beneath mine. She offered me a sad smile, finger-spelling with her free hand, _*It's okay.*_

I pulled the iPad from Bella's lap onto mine.

**It's not okay. It's wrong. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. What did you do? Did you report him to his manager? What about the ACLU? Couldn't they have helped?**

Bella shook her head, tugging the iPad back onto her lap.

***It wasn't worth it, Edward. Legally, I was within my rights to sue, but it would have been his word against mine, and I didn't have the time or the desire to become involved with a messy lawsuit. Sometimes, even though it's hard to do, you just have to walk away.***

** I can imagine that must have been very difficult for you to do.**

***It was, but you know what bothered me the most? It wasn't the fact that I lost my job; I really didn't care about that. What bothered me the most was my manager's belief that simply because I am disabled, I am somehow intellectually inferior. Never mind that I could probably kick his ass in Calculus and English Lit., he never even gave me a chance to prove myself! He just wrote me off as worthless based on his own misguided assumptions. I'd like to say it doesn't hurt that people feel that way, Edward, but it does, sometimes it really does. I have to work so hard to prove myself, and it can be tiring after awhile, not to mention disheartening.***

Bella sighed, and instinctively, my arm came to wrap around her shoulders, as if a warm and tender touch today could erase the pain of yesterday. She seemed surprised by my gesture, at first gazing up at me out of tentative eyes before accepting the comfort I was offering and resting her head on my shoulder. Without thinking, I bent and placed a kiss to her temple.

"You're not worthless, you're perfect," I murmured to myself, my lips pressed firmly against her skin, and while it didn't escape my notice that this was the first time I had kissed Bella, there was nothing physical about it. Instead, it was my way of letting her know that I sympathized and cared, and that I fervently hoped she would never have to deal with that type of discrimination again.

After that night, Bella and I began meeting at her apartment on a regular basis. The first week, I came over once. The second week, I was invited over twice and I showed up on my own one other night. By the third week, Bella didn't even bother issuing a formal invitation, rather she told me to come by whenever I wanted. Tonight marked the end of the fifth week of our arrangement, and I had been over nearly every night this week. If Bella minded, she didn't let it show. In fact, I think she kind of enjoyed my company. I know I enjoyed hers.

I stood outside her door now, feeling a little ridiculous. I was holding flowers in my hand, which was something I hadn't done since I was sixteen years old and handing a corsage to my prom date. Still, I couldn't help but pull over to the side of the road earlier, when I spotted the flowers on my way to Bella's house from the hospital. They stood out amongst all the rest - tall, proud and purple. I picked a small bunch, hoping Bella didn't think it was silly of me, and now here I was, wondering if my flowers would measure up. I wanted to win Bella's heart; hopefully she didn't think I was presenting her with a bunch of weeds.

I rang the doorbell, waiting patiently while the built in flashing light system alerted Bella to my presence. It was Friday night, and she was expecting me. We planned to order pizza then watch a movie together. This was a rare treat for us. Mostly, we studied in our time together, which was rather ironic considering my mother had been concerned about my grades. I was actually getting more studying done now than before I met Bella. Her apartment was so quiet, uncluttered by any background noise such as the stereo or television. During study breaks, we practiced sign, and I was slowly but surely becoming more fluent. We still used our iPads for more involved conversations, but Bella always encouraged me to use my hands when I could. She was very patient with me, which helped. I never felt pressured or embarrassed to practice with her.

In the midst of my musings, the door slowly opened. Bella stood there, an amused grin on her face as she noted the flowers in my hand.

"These are for you," I said, holding out my hand and presenting the flowers to her. I was thankful that she couldn't hear the tremor in my voice; I was ridiculously nervous.

Bella's eyes lit up as she took them from me, thanking me with a sincere and beautiful smile.

_I saw them by the side of the road, and I thought of you. I had to stop to pick them._

_ *They're beautiful.*_

_ That's what I thought. Beautiful and unique, just like you._

Bella's cheeks flushed red at my words, and I shifted my weight awkwardly from foot to foot before she stepped to the side and invited me in. Once inside, she quickly hunted down a vase, filling it with water and depositing the flowers inside. She set the vase in the center of her little kitchen table then, turning to me with a shy smile.

_*Thank you,*_ she signed, appearing just as nervous as me.

_You're welcome_, I replied, walking slowly in her direction. Her eyes tracked my movement, and the closer I got to her the more nervous Bella seemed to become, her chest rising and falling with increasing speed until I was standing directly in front of her.

_*What?*_ she nervously signed, her eyes following my hand as I reached out and gently dragged my fingers through a lock of her unbelievably soft, brown hair. She sighed when I touched her, her eyes fluttering closed before opening again and locking with mine. My breathing was heavy too, matching Bella's own, and if she hadn't appeared so uncertain, I might have chosen that moment to kiss her. But I didn't feel like she was ready yet, so I waited, instead flipping my hand up in front of me like a magician holding a suite of cards and presenting her with a tiny purple petal.

"It was caught in your hair," I murmured, and Bella laughed softly, reaching out and taking it from me, but not before I had a chance to take hold of her hand and gently rub my thumb over the soft skin of her wrist. I caressed it for a moment before letting go and asking Bella if she was ready to order the pizza. She gawked at me, and it was all I could do to suppress a smirk. I was getting to her – breaking down her resolve, and I was enjoying every last moment of the process.

After ordering a pizza loaded with every topping imaginable and eating more of it than either one of us should, Bella and I retired to her couch for the evening to watch a movie. As I settled in beside her, I smiled to myself because everything just felt so normal... so right. Of course, it would have been better if I could have wrapped Bella up in my arms, holding her close to me while watching the movie, but I was satisfied just to be beside her. It was enough... for now.

Tonight we were watching _Life is Beautiful_ - Bella's choice, not mine. I tended to stay away from those types of movies. My life was stressful enough without becoming emotionally overwhelmed by a film. But Bella liked these sorts of stories, and I'd picked last week, so I sat dutifully by and watched her choice with her, just as she had done for me.

Half way through the movie, I had managed to scoot a little closer to Bella on the couch. Her legs were stretched out on the ottoman in front of her, resting comfortably next to mine, and I was completely focused on the fact that our thighs were nearly touching. Of course, I knew I shouldn't be thinking about this, as these types of thoughts almost always led to involuntary reactions in my body. But I couldn't help it. Bella and I might have been pretending we were just friends, but the sexual tension surrounding us was through the fucking roof. Even Bella wouldn't have been able to deny it… if I had been brave enough to ask, which I wasn't.

I was contemplating the possibility of casually draping my arm along the backside of the couch and bringing Bella flush against my side when the flashing light system in her apartment announced the arrival of a visitor. Bella stood up from the couch, putting the movie on pause before walking over to the door. I followed behind her, intending to grab a couple of beers from the fridge when I saw him.

_Jake_.

Even though I had no right to, I saw red. _What the fuck was he doing here?_I hadn't seen Jake since before Christmas break, when he had nearly stared holes through my head at _Technique_. These past few weeks, Bella had hardly mentioned him, and even though I hadn't forgotten about him, I certainly wasn't expecting him to show up at her front door. Standing to the side, I did my best to appear unfazed as Jake drew Bella into a hug. I wanted to wrench her from his arms, but I realized that would not have been appropriate. Jake hadn't seen me yet, but when Bella released him from their embrace, he stepped inside, his eyes immediately meeting mine and at first registering shock... then serious irritation. Bella noticed the exchange and narrowed her eyes at Jake, warning him to behave. Turning to me, she smiled lightly, but it was a nervous smile, and I wondered if she was as uncomfortable as me.

_*I've never introduced the two of you, have I?_* she signed.

I shook my head, and Bella turned to position her body so that she faced both me and Jake. She finger spelled my name first, followed by Jake's. Then, she waved her hand between the two of us, indicating that we should shake hands. I did so, grudgingly, knowing it was the polite thing to do.

"It's nice to meet you," Jake grumbled, his cordial words starkly contrasting with his gruff tone of voice. I wanted to grumble back, but Bella was looking at me in an expectant manner, so I decided to act civil. I could be the better man when necessary, especially when it served my purpose.

"Nice to meet you too," I said while firmly shaking his hand. I let mine fall to my side then, and an awkward silence fell between us. Bella stared at me, Jake stared at Bella and I stared at Jake. As seconds ticked away, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. This situation was fucking ridiculous. I was about to excuse myself, wondering if maybe I should give Bella and Jake a moment alone, when thankfully, she started to sign.

_*Edward and I were just watching a movie. Would you like to join us?* _

I inwardly balked at Bella's words, trying hard to hide my irritation. Seriously though, what the fuck was she thinking? Unwelcome images of the three of us sitting together on the couch, Bella tucked awkwardly between Jake and me, invaded my thoughts, and I decided that if this was what it was going to come down to, I would leave. I couldn't deal with that. Not tonight. Not ever.

Jake started to sign in response to Bella's invitation, but his hands were moving far too fast for me to understand a word he said. A moment later, Bella signed back, and soon they were engaged in their own private conversation. I felt like a total ass, standing there and not understanding a word they were saying, but I didn't move to interrupt until things looked like they were starting to get intense. Jake and Bella were signing more animatedly now, each of them looking annoyed. I finally waved my hand in Bella's face, catching her attention. She paused, and when she turned in my direction, she appeared contrite.

_*I'm so sorry,* _she signed, her face clearly remorseful. _*I didn't mean to exclude you.*_

_It's okay_, I signed back. It _was_ a little annoying to be left out of the conversation, but I couldn't always expect Bella to slow down for me. Jake, on the other hand, could have made an effort to explain what the hell was going on. It would have been much easier for him to do this than it would have been for Bella, but he didn't bother. _Big fucking surprise._

"I'll just be going," Jake said as he studied my exchange with Bella. He turned on foot and was about to open the front door when Bella protested, asking him to please reconsider coming inside and having a beer. Thankfully, Jake shook his head, telling Bella he would see her in school on Monday. Bella sighed, clearly disappointed, which definitely disappointed me. She obviously didn't want Jake to leave, and this bothered me, even though it shouldn't.

Jake paused partway through the door, turning to briefly face me.

"I'll see you around," he said, holding my eyes with an uncomfortable gaze.

"Yeah..." I agreed while slowly nodding my head. "I guess you will."

I didn't mean for my words to come off as a threat, but I wondered if that's how Jake perceived them. His eyes narrowed, pinning me with a coal black gaze before he disappeared out the front door. Turning to Bella, I knew it was time for us to have a conversation about Jake. She must have felt the same because she grabbed her iPad from the kitchen counter before heading back into the living room. She sat down in the center of the sofa there, sighing when I settled in beside her.

** *I'm so sorry, Green Eyes. I didn't mean to ignore you. Jake was just surprised to see you here.***

I stifled an ironic laugh. The feeling was definitely mutual.

** I was surprised to see him too. Does he normally stop by like that? **

Maybe I didn't have a right to ask that question, but I asked it anyway. Bella had told me before that she and Jake were just friends, but he certainly didn't act like a friend. He didn't seem to like Bella spending time with me, and the only reason I could figure why was because he felt threatened. Again, the feeling was mutual.

** *Not usually, but it's not unheard of. Jake's a good friend, Green Eyes. We've known each other for a long time.***

** I remember you said his sister's deaf. **

Bella looked over at me and nodded.

***She is. I met her my first year at The Florida School for the Deaf and Blind. She commuted to school from Orlando, and sometimes Jake would ride along with their father when he picked her up in the afternoons.***

Words were left hanging, and I was pretty sure there was more to Bella's relationship with Jake than she was letting on. I didn't think she would voluntarily offer more information, but maybe if I asked...

**Have you always been just friends? **

Bella turned to me, studying me closely for a moment while her fingers hovered over top her iPad. She didn't seem annoyed by my question, but she did seem to be considering why I had asked. Of course, she had to know _why_. She had to know I was sizing up the competition, because regardless of what she said about their relationship, there was no doubt in my mind that Jake posed a threat to ours. Slowly, she lowered her hands and began typing.

***No, we haven't always been just friends. Jake and I dated for three years in high school and college, but our relationship was over several years ago. He's dating a girl named Nessie now.***

Without even realizing what I was doing, I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. Jake had a girlfriend, and my life had just become infinitely less complicated. Still, if Bella had dated Jake for three years, her relationship with him was closer than I thought. And even if he was dating another woman, did he still carry a flame for Bella? It wouldn't be hard to understand if he did. Bella was an amazing woman, and any man would be privileged to call her his girlfriend. I was certain Jake wasn't blind to that fact.

I sat quietly by Bella's side, contemplating my next question. I didn't want to overstep my bounds, but I really wanted to know more. Hopefully, Bella wouldn't feel like I was pushing her. I never wanted to push her.

**Do you mind me asking about him?**

I asked my question, hoping that Bella understood that while I was curious, the decision was hers to make. If she didn't want to talk about Jake, I would accept her decision without argument. I wouldn't like it, but I would accept it… for her. Bella turned to meet my gaze, thoughtful brown eyes holding expectant green, and I wished I knew what was going on inside of her head. She was silent to me in so many ways, and it was a never-ending source of frustration for me. I watched as Bella sighed and my hopes fell. But then she did something entirely unexpected, something that caused my heart to hammer madly in my chest.

Slowly, carefully, Bella reached out her left hand and gently brushed the hair from my eyes.

I froze.

Bella had _never_ touched me like that... in such a tender and intimate way. My heart beat wildly in my chest in response, my senses clouding over as I desperately tried to make sense of what was going on. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Bella's right hand started to move, and as difficult as it was for me to focus on anything other than her exquisite touch, I knew I needed to pay attention, or her words would be lost on me.

_*Not if it makes you feel better,*_ she slowly signed, her eyes never leaving mine.

I swallowed hard, unable to believe what was happening. Was Bella reassuring me? Because it sure as hell seemed like she was, and I liked it. I liked it a lot, actually, and I wanted so badly to kiss her in that moment, to firmly grip her shoulders and tell her it _did_ make me feel better. It made me feel better to know that Jake was really just a friend. It made me feel better to know that she cared enough about my feelings to reassure me of this. I could do it… it wouldn't take much. I could lean forward just a little and press my lips To hers. But would Bella kiss me back, or would she push me away?

_Fuck!_ I was so goddamn confused, and it was so completely ridiculous because we both knew that this thing between us was so much more... so much more than either one of us would admit, but instead of facing it head on, we side-stepped it, just like we were doing now.

Bella pulled her hand from my face all too soon, her fingers leaving a hot trail down my cheek, but I refused to look away. She smiled timidly at me then, almost as if she was embarrassed by what she had done, and in that moment, I knew. I knew that if I tried to kiss Bella, she _would_ push me away, and I didn't want that. When Bella and I finally kissed, I wanted it to be on her terms, and I wanted her to be as certain as I was that it was right... that _we_ were right. So as difficult as it was for me to do, I pulled back, giving Bella the space she needed to come to the decision to kiss me on her own.

With the moment between us gone, I briefly considered changing the topic of conversation to something less heavy, but Bella had given me an open invitation to ask more questions, and I intended to do just that. Call me sick, call me twisted, call me a fucking masochist, but I needed to know more about her relationship with Jake.

**Why did the two of you break up? Three years is a long time...**

I waited patiently for Bella to respond, assuming she would need time to explain. Break ups are hardly ever simple, after all. They are complicated and messy... just two of the many reasons why I avoided relationships to begin with. But Bella surprised me, taking only a moment to answer my question. Apparently, it wasn't as complicated as I thought.

***I wasn't in love with him.***

Bella looked up at me, and I stared back at her in surprise. _She wasn't in love with him_. It was such a simple, honest answer, though I doubted it had been easy for her to come to terms with after dating Jake for so long. And I wondered, was the feeling mutual? Did he feel the same about her as she felt about him? Or had she broken his heart...

**Is he still in love with you?**

It was a difficult question, one that Bella might not want to answer and one that I really didn't have the right to ask, but I asked anyway. Just as I expected, it took her a moment to respond, and when she finally did, I could see it was with great difficulty. Bella slowly pecked away at her iPad, the words not coming easily, only to erase what she had written and start all over again. Finally, after starting and stopping several times over, she pushed the iPad in my direction.

** *To be honest with you, I don't really know. Sometimes I think that maybe he is, but he's with Nessie now, and she makes him happy. I think it's just hard for him to let me go. We were together for so long, and he still feels protective over me. After we broke up, I dated several hearing men. None of the relationships worked out, and one of them in particular really hurt me. I think that's why he's so wary of you. It doesn't excuse his behavior, but he doesn't trust hearing men. He doesn't want to see me get hurt all over again. The thing is he just doesn't understand what's going on. I've tried to tell him, but he doesn't understand.***

Bella watched me carefully out of the corner of her eye as I read what she had written. When I finished, I turned my head so that I was facing her, and when her steady gaze met mine, I slowly signed, _What's going on?_

The space between Bella and me was heavy with unanswered questions, but even though she was putting forth a valiant effort to remain true to her assertion that we could only be friends, her shell was slowly cracking. She wanted me... I could see it in her eyes, in the way they begged me to understand, in the way they pleaded with me not to hurt her if she succumbed to this thing that was happening between us. And as certain as I was just moments before that Bella was not ready to kiss me, I was even more certain now that she was. Her breathing was labored, her skin was flushed, and her softly parted lips were waiting, just waiting for me to take them with mine...

And then my fucking phone rang, and I tried to ignore it, God help me I did. But Bella, ever the perceptive one, noticed my momentary distraction, and the moment was gone.

_*What is it?*_ she signed, shaking herself out of her daze and looking at me curiously.

"Phone," I mumbled out loud as I pulled it from my back pocket. It was Emmett. I debated whether or not to answer it, but when I glanced in Bella's direction, I knew that it would be pointless to try and recapture the moment. I could try to kiss her, but it wouldn't be the same. Sighing in frustration, I brought the phone to my ear.

"This better be fucking good," I barked into the phone, and I immediately regretted my words. I was worked up, but that wasn't Emmett's fault. It wasn't anybody's fault, really, and I needed to get my head back about me.

"What the hell?" Emmett huffed, less than amused by my surly mood.

"Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my hand across the back of my neck. "You just caught me at a bad time." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bella staring at me, and she looked concerned. She might not have been able to hear my outburst, but she could certainly sense my frustration. I offered her a half-hearted smile, mouthing "sorry" as Emmett spoke into the phone.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to _Technique_, but now I'm not so sure," Emmett said. "Where are you, anyway?"

"I'm at Bella's," I explained, and Emmett inhaled sharply.

"Oh shit, dude, did I... oh God, I did, didn't I? I just cock-blocked you…"

Emmett sounded so panic stricken, it was hard for me to remain upset with him.

"It's okay," I sighed. "It's probably for the better, anyway. I'm not sure that Bella's ready to head where we were heading," I said, biting my tongue when I realized she was probably reading my lips. Then I felt guilty for thinking like that. I shouldn't be saying anything around Bella that I wouldn't want her to *hear*. That would be rude on my part. I glanced in her direction, wondering if she had, in fact, read my lips, but it didn't appear as if she had.

"So what do you think? You guys in?" Emmett pressed.

I sighed, not really sure what to do.

"I don't know. I'm not sure Bella would want to..."

"Have you asked her?" Emmett interrupted.

"Well, no..."

"Then ask. Don't go making decisions for her, assuming you know what she wants."

"I wasn't doing that," I shot back defensively, but Emmett only chuckled.

"You were and you know it, and that's why you're acting like a dick. Come on, man. You've been in this non-relationship for weeks now. Don't you think the two of you should come out of hiding? I haven't seen Bella since before Christmas."

I sighed. Emmett was right. I was purposely avoiding bringing Bella around because I didn't want to push her too far too fast. Her apartment seemed to be her comfort zone, but maybe it was time that changed. Maybe we both needed to do something different in an effort to push us past this maddening "are we" or "aren't we" stage. I knew one thing for certain - I didn't want to continue watching _Life is Beautiful_. Not after everything that had gone down tonight. We could both stand to get out and let off some steam, so I asked Bella if she wanted to go, and surprisingly, she said yes. In fact, she seemed excited, which caused me to feel the same in return.

Thirty minutes later, we were out the door, a palpable energy crackling between us. Things were finally beginning to shift in our relationship, and there was no longer any sense in trying to deny it. Little did I know that by the end of the evening, we wouldn't have to.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

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	12. Instigation

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 12 - Instigation**

Stepping out into the dark, chilly night, I tried in vain to convince Bella to take my Volvo into Ybor City; her outdated behemoth of a truck left a little to be desired. Her father had bought if off of Jake's father during her junior year in High School, and she'd been riding around in it ever since. She told me that even if she had the money to buy a new car, she wouldn't. Her truck suited her just fine. She had no desire to jet around the city in a tiny, foreign made car. And yes... that was a personal attack on my Volvo. She loved to tease me about my "safe and practical" car, but two could play at that game. Climbing into the cab of her truck, I cranked the outdated radio up as loud as it could possibly go before settling back into my seat. Bella felt the vibrations and turned to look at me, confused.

_*Why is it so loud?*_ she asked, her brows furrowed tightly together. Her expression caused me to chuckle softly. Bella was a master at doing this… furrowing her brows, and I loved it. I loved how her facial expressions communicated almost as much as her hands.

I shrugged my shoulders, barely able to contain my grin.

_I had to turn up the volume. I can't hear anything over the roar of the engine,_ I teased. Of course, my signs weren't nearly as eloquent as I would have liked, but I did my best to communicate my thoughts. I was sure I got my point across when Bella's face twisted up into a smirk.

_*One of the benefits of being deaf,*_ she ribbed with a wink. _ *I can't hear a thing.*_

I laughed out loud at Bella's comment, shaking my head at how completely enamored I was with her. It never ceased to amaze me how at ease she was with her disability. She knew precisely what it meant to be deaf, including the limitations it sometimes imposed, but she hardly ever let it get her down, at least not as far as I could tell. Bella was quick to poke fun at herself, and I liked that. I liked that she didn't take life too seriously, unless, of course, we were talking about school. Bella took her responsibilities as both a student and a teacher very seriously, hence the reason we were avoiding being seen together on campus.

I did wonder why Bella had so easily agreed to go into Ybor City with me tonight. Aside from grabbing coffee at a little shop near campus a few times, Bella and I hadn't ventured from her apartment. I assumed that was because she was worried about being seen together, but it occurred to me that I had never really asked her out.

_*What are you thinking about?*_ she signed as we merged onto the interstate.

I look over at Bella and grinned.

_Isn't it dangerous to sign and drive?_ I teased.

Bella scoffed at me in mock offense.

_*I can multitask,*_ she defended herself, returning my grin in kind. She wasn't grinning moments later when I raised my brows in question.

"Multitask?" I repeated, watching in rapt attention as Bella blushed from her chest to her cheeks. I could think of _many_ ways that multitasking could come in handy, and most of them did not involve clothes.

_*Get your mind out of the gutter,*_ she teased with a nervous smile. She focused her attention on the road then, but if she thought I didn't catch her furtive glances in my direction during the rest of the ride into the city, she was wrong. I saw them all.

When we arrived in Ybor City, Bella parked as close as possible to the club, but it was Friday night, and the strip was crowded. This meant that we would have a several block walk. Exiting the car, we moved towards the main street in town, heading in the direction of _Technique. _As we wandered together down the street, I let my hand rest gently on the small of Bella's back. I knew that in doing so, there was a chance that she might shy away, but after everything we had been through tonight, I decided it was a chance I was willing to take. My heart worked overtime in my chest when Bella didn't protest my move, and it was all I could do not to wrap my arm around her shoulder and officially claim her as mine. That might be pushing my luck, though, and I was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even though things between us were slowly changing, I realized that what Bella and I shared was still tentative and fragile, and I didn't want to do anything that might rock the boat. Bella and I were close... so close to redefining who we were, but if I pushed her, I worried that she might bolt, so I played things as cool as possible.

As I expected, _Technique_ was crowded, and Bella and I waited outside for nearly twenty minutes before we reached the front of the line. Not that I minded. There were so many people that we were forced to stand close, my chest pressed firmly against Bella's back. Ten minutes in, I allowed myself to rest my chin atop her head, relishing in the feel of her silky soft hair tickling my skin, and the best part was she didn't pull away. She didn't do anything to encourage me, but she didn't pull away, either. My hands were in my pockets, and I desperately wanted to remove them and thread my fingers together with hers, but I was sure that would spook her, so I accepted the closeness she was offering without complaint, sighing in disappointment when it was our time to pay. I could have stood together with her outside all night long, her back perfectly molded against my chest, and I would have been perfectly, blissfully happy.

Once we were inside the club, my eyes scanned the crowd for Emmett and Rose. Tanya had stayed back tonight, which I was kind of grateful for. Both she and Rose had yet to officially meet Bella, and while I knew I shouldn't have anything to worry about, the Tanya situation still made me feel slightly uncomfortable. At best, all of us together at once would be awkward, and I was hoping to avoid that for as long as possible.

A flash of brown, curly hair caught my eye, and I zeroed in on Emmett. He was at the front of the club, leaning over the bar, chatting easily with the bartender there. A few moments later, I spotted Rose. She was standing on the edge of the dance floor, cocktail in hand, swaying in time with the music. I tapped Bella on the shoulder, pointing in Emmett's direction, and she nodded at me in understanding, leading the way through the crowd towards the bar. My hand never left her back, and she never complained.

Emmett didn't notice us to begin with, but when Bella reached up and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, smiling widely as he pulled her into a hug. I was pretty sure Bella wasn't expecting his exuberant embrace. She gasped a little as he hugged her tight, and I laughed out loud, the look of shock on her face absolutely priceless. Slowly, Bella's arms came around Emmett's waist, and she hugged him back, tentatively at first, then with more force.

"Hey there!" he boomed once he finally let her go. "It's nice to see you again," he said, and I inwardly fist-pumped him for taking the time to enunciate and talk slow. He was making an effort with Bella, and that meant more to me than words could say. Bella smiled up at Emmett, offering him a tiny wave before he turned his attention to me.

"Dude! You live! I was close to filing a missing persons report on you. You're never around anymore!"

Bella must have caught at least some of what Emmett said, because she turned a very enticing shade of red at his comment. I smirked, letting my hand press into the small of her back with a bit more force. She knew she was the reason why I wasn't around as much, but there wasn't any need for her to be embarrassed about it. In an effort to reassure her, I started rubbing small, gentle circles in the center of her back. I held my breath, wondering if she would mind, but Bella didn't disappoint me.

"I've been busy," I answered Emmett, continuing the motion with my hand, and he smirked right back.

"I can see that," he replied with a wide smile. I looked down at Bella who was laughing softly now, slowly shaking her head. She waved her hand between Emmett and me, catching our attention.

_*You do realize I'm standing right here, and I can understand everything you're saying,*_ she pointed out, teasing us both good-naturedly. I laughed along with her, surprised to find myself translating for Emmett without even giving it a second thought. I was quite proud of myself for that.

"You know something?" Emmett said to Bella. "I think I like you. You're not afraid to call us on our shit."

Bella grinned, a mischievous smile lighting up her face as she slowly pointed her finger at Emmett.

_*You remember that,*_she signed.

Emmett barked out a laugh just as Rose joined us. She watched him closely as he interacted with Bella, studying them both with guarded curiosity. I regarded Rose the same way. She was tense, and I didn't like it. I wondered what put her on edge; was it because Emmett was talking to Bella? Even though they hadn't been formally introduced, Rose knew who Bella was, so that shouldn't be the case. And then I noticed Rose's eyes move quickly between Bella to me, and I understood perfectly what was going on. This was about Tanya. Rose was a notorious mother hen, and in her mind, I had slighted her sister. I sincerely hoped this wouldn't translate into unfounded hostility towards Bella, but I was afraid it would because Rose wasn't known for diplomacy. She was brashly honest, often to the point of being rude.

"Rose," I said, calling her name and catching her attention. I fixed her with a cautionary gaze, warning her to behave herself before turning in Bella's direction. I tapped her once on the shoulder, and she smiled widely as I pointed to Rose and made introductions. Rose smiled back, though it was forced, and both Bella and I knew it.

"Nice to meet you," Rose said, acknowledging Bella with a curt nod of her head.

Bella was clearly confused by Rose's cool behavior, but she managed to keep a friendly smile on her face when she signed, _*Nice to meet you too_.* I translated for her, but Rose paid little attention to me. She was already grabbing Emmett's hand, telling him she wanted to dance. Apparently, Rose didn't intend to stick around and make small talk, which was probably for the better.

"Are you coming?" she pushed when Emmett seemed hesitant to leave. He looked at me and I told him to go ahead. There was no sense in the two of them hanging out with us if Rose couldn't behave cordially toward Bella. She and I were going to have a talk about that, but now wasn't the appropriate time or place to do that. With a shrug of his shoulders, Emmett let Rose lead him away, offering an apologetic glance over his shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

The space between Bella and I fell momentarily quiet as we watched them leave. I felt horrible about how Rose had acted, and I knew I had some explaining to do. Inwardly, I berated myself. I had known Rose for several years now, and this type of behavior was not atypical of her. I should have spoken with her beforehand, warning her not to be rude.

I was looking down at Bella, trying to decide what to say, when an emotion I recognized as resignation flashed across her face. When she realized I was looking, she quickly recovered and smiled, but I knew her well enough by now to know that it was forced, and I didn't have to think hard about why. Not knowing my history, or lack thereof, with Tanya, Bella probably assumed that Rose was uncomfortable with her deafness. It was the most logical conclusion for her to draw, even though it wasn't entirely correct. I knew I needed to say something and quick, but I needed an iPad to have this discussion and neither one of us had one. Instead, I awkwardly attempted to use my hands, but Bella reached out, halting their movement with her own and slowly shaking her head.

_*Don't,* _she signed._ *Please don't try to explain. Let's just dance, okay?*_

I was reluctant to do as Bella asked. I didn't want to dance. I wanted to talk, but her expression made it clear that she didn't. Bella surprised me by slipping her hand into mine and tugging softly, and when her eyes met mine, pleading with me to let it go, I did. I couldn't deny her wishes any more than I could deny her touch. My skin tingled where our hands were connected, and as she led me onto the dance floor, my body reacted instinctively, pressing closer to hers as we pushed past people until we were standing together in the center of it all. God, it felt so good… so fucking right to be with her like that, and I wondered if maybe that's how you knew when you had found the right person; you knew because it just felt _right._ Every cell in your body itched to be close to that person. Without even realizing it, you oriented yourself to them, watching them, following them, doing whatever you had to in order to remain by their side. I had never felt that way about anyone before, but I felt that way now, and I never wanted the feeling to end.

A new song started to play, and as the driving bass of the music resonated around us, I skimmed my hands the length of Bella's arms, pulling her against my chest as we moved in time with the music. I wasn't afraid that she would deny me. She was the one who had asked me to dance, and in doing so, given me unspoken permission to touch her. Maybe that's why she had asked me, I thought. Maybe she wanted… needed me to touch her as much as I did. I closed my eyes tightly, overwhelmed by my emotions and relishing in the feel of holding her close. Her heart beat solidly under our joined hands, her head was thrown back against my shoulder and my face was buried in the crook of her neck. It was heaven… the most amazing, intense feeling ever, and it was enough to make me hard. This time, I didn't pull away. I wanted her to feel me. I wanted her to know how much I desired her, how amazing I thought she was and how beautiful she was to me.

If Bella minded, she didn't let it show. In fact, she actually pressed her body closer to mine, which drove me wild with desire. I nearly bit her neck, instead stifling a groan and biting down on my lower lip to distract myself, but if she kept moving back and forth in a pendulum motion across my groin like that, I was going to fucking lose it. Momentarily pulling my face from her neck, I reached up, gathering the hair there and draping it over her left shoulder. Bending back down, I pressed my cheek to hers, and she leaned into me, seeking the same skin to skin contact I sought from her. Her cheek, flushed red with perspiration and perhaps desire, pressed back against mine, and our joined arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Nearly every part of our bodies was touching now, and I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the music... get lost in the feel of Bella wrapped up in me.

As we danced, I couldn't help but marvel at how uninhibited she was. Her body moved sensuously in nearly perfect time with the music, and I wondered, not for the first time, if this wasn't an escape for her, a way to forget about the real world and get lost in sensations that felt good. Maybe that feeling of freedom gave Bella the courage she needed to submit to what was happening between us, because right at that moment, she seemed entirely unconcerned about us being spotted together. This thrilled me and left my body aching for more. I only hoped that when the music stopped, the moment wouldn't pass. I hoped she realized that she couldn't fight her feelings for me any more than I could fight mine. She had to feel it… that sense of inevitability that hung thick in the air between us. With that thought, I pulled Bella closer still, as close as I could get without lowering her to the ground and covering her body with mine, and for the length of six songs, I held her in my arms, pretending she belonged to me.

Bella and I had been dancing for nearly thirty minutes when I spun her around and pointed in the direction of the bar. We were both hot, our skin slick with perspiration, and despite the fact I wanted to remain coiled tight around her the entire night through, I also really needed a beer. Bella seemed to agree, and she willingly followed behind me, her hand clasped tightly in mine as we made our way to the bar, but when we stepped up to two empty stools, she let it slip away. I tried not to focus on the feel of my empty hand as I ordered us two Heinekens, but it was hard not to. She was pulling away from me again, and I didn't know how much more of this indecisiveness I could take. Still, I didn't want to ruin our evening by wearing a sour expression, so I pushed my feelings of frustration aside and smiled at her as I turned and handed her the beer.

_*I think we lost Emmett and Rose,*_ Bella signed before taking a firm swig. I took a pull of my own before shrugging my shoulders and signing back. _Is that bad?_

As much as I liked hanging out with Emmett, I could do without Rose and her attitude. Besides, I much preferred spending time alone with Bella. Bella must have caught on to my train of thought, because she blushed, shaking her head slowly back and forth as I grinned at her and took another pull of my beer.

_ I forgot to tell you. I talked to Alice yesterday, and she told me she bought her plane ticket. She'll be here for one week in March, _I signed, making casual conversation. Despite the fact we were sans iPads, I was managing to get my point across just fine. Bella smiled widely at me, obviously just as excited as I was for Alice's visit. I had told her a lot about Alice over the last several weeks, and she seemed to be looking forward to meeting her.

_*That's wonderful,*_ she signed back. _*We'll have to take her to Clearwater Beach.* _

I nodded in response and was just about to mention taking a trip to Silver Springs to snorkel with the manatees when an obviously drunken frat boy standing near to Bella reached around from behind her, clapping loudly beside her right ear. Bella reacted instinctively to his nearness, spinning around in her seat and staring the asshole down.

"See, look, she's not really deaf. She's faking it," the boy announced to his posse of nefarious friends, and I nearly fucking lost it. This asshole was fucking with Bella, and all I could think about was breaking his fucking hands. Shoving my stool out of the way, I abruptly stood up, adrenaline pumping furiously through my veins. It was feeding my anger, driving my decisions, and I fisted my right hand, pulling it back, readying myself to throw a punch, only to be stopped short by Bella's hand landing squarely on the center of my chest. Pinning me with deadly serious eyes, she shook her head _no_, very clearly warning me to back off. I was breathing hard, my body screaming at me to defend her, but though it took every ounce of self-control I could muster, I did as she requested and lowered my hand to my side. However, that didn't mean I would remain silent.

"She's not faking it, asshole," I spat, stepping forward until I was just inches away from his face. I was pretty sure I spit on him, but I didn't fucking care. "She's deaf, not blind," I continued, reminding him of a simple fact that Bella had reminded me of only weeks before. "She could _see_ your fucking hands. It's a little thing called peripheral vision."

The idiot frat boy narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before his mouth twisted up into a sneer. He was ready to fight too, but his friends who had been laughing only moments before were now looking on at us nervously. One of them slapped their hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon man, you had your fun. Just walk away," he encouraged, a nervous edge to his voice. He obviously didn't want to get into any sort of trouble.

"I think you should listen to your friend," I warned lowly, the tone of my voice making the seriousness of my statement clear. But the arrogant boy completely disregarded me, sneering again and shrugging off his friend. His eyes met mine in challenge and his stone-hearted stare made my blood run cold. Whoever this guy was, he was a sick fuck. I saw it in the way his eyes flitted in Bella's direction, slowly raking up and down her body, leering at her as he memorized her every curve. Then he looked back at me, and in a surprise move that caught me completely off guard, he slowly backed away. Before I knew it, he and his friends had slipped into the crowd. I exhaled loudly, my chest still heaving and my hands still fisted tightly by my side. Bella noted my distress and started rubbing soothing circles in the center of my chest. I had forgotten her hand was there, but was grateful for the comfort in now provided.

"Sorry," I murmured, looking down into her worried, brown eyes. I hadn't meant to get so worked up, but there was no way I could sit by and let that asshole treat Bella that way. I think Bella understood, because she continued to comfort me, her hands trailing down my stomach and across to my side where she covered both of my tightly fisted hands with hers, gently kneading my knuckles until I slowly started to relax. When my fingers melted into Bella's, weaving together with hers, she squeezed them once before letting go.

_*Don't ever apologize for defending me,*_ she signed as I let my forehead drop against hers. I held it there for a moment, breathing her in before signing back.

_I can't believe he did that._

_ *These things happen more often than you think,* _Bella signed with a sad sigh._ *Clapping your hands by a deaf person's ears is the oldest joke in the book. People think it's funny. They think that if they get a reaction from you, it proves a person's not deaf. But you have to pick and choose your fights, Edward, and believe me, those boys were not worth your time,*_ Bella told me through a combination of signs and finger-spelling.

_ Maybe not, but it doesn't make what they did, right. You shouldn't have to put up with that. It's not fair for people to treat you that way, _I replied.

Bella sighed, gently reaching out to squeeze my hand before pulling hers away.

_*Remember, Edward. You're the exception, not the rule,*_ she signed, her eyes drawn and serious, and as much as I wanted her to be wrong, I knew she was right. Granted, most people weren't assholes like that boy, but I was certain that Bella had put up with more than her fair share of teasing throughout the years. The thought simultaneously made my blood boil and my heart constrict in my chest, and I realized I was starting to feel way more for Bella than I was willing to admit. I was falling hard for a girl I had never even kissed.

Suddenly, I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I wanted to take Bella home, and possibly even kiss her, ending the night in a much better mood than I was in right now.

_Are you ready?_ I asked.

_*To go home?*_

_Yeah. Let's get out of here. _

I didn't have to ask Bella twice. She nodded at me, her eyes flickering to my hand before returning to my face. Without even giving her a chance to think about it, I took her hand in mine. I was scanning the dance floor, hoping to catch a glimpse of Emmett to let him know we were leaving when the fucking bastard frat boy had the nerve to approach us _again_. Bella noticeably stiffened, and I pulled her slightly behind me, hell bent on keeping her away from this prick. I would be damned if I would let him say something else to her.

"What the fuck do you want, asshole," I hissed when he was standing before me.

Sensing my anger, Bella stepped forward again. Pulling her hand from mine she signed, _*Let's just leave. Walk around him. He's not worth it, Edward.*_

I gritted my teeth. I knew Bella was right, but it was hard for me to ignore someone who was obviously trying to instigate me. It was also hard for me to ignore the pleading look in Bella's eyes, so I took a deep breath, signing _okay_ and reaching out to take her hand again.

That's when the asshole spoke.

"Aw look," he slurred, sounding even drunker than he did before. "The pussy has to play a game of Guesstures in order to communicate with his girlfriend. How pathetic is that?"

I wasn't sure whether or not he said anything more, and it really didn't fucking matter. One moment I was standing beside Bella, her hand locked tightly in mine, and the next my fist was connecting with the asshole's face. I heard the sickening crack of bone, and I was pretty sure I'd broken his nose with my first hit, but I didn't fucking care. I laid into him again, hooking my right fist up and under his jaw while simultaneously ducking to avoid his sloppy throw. I continued to hit him, not really thinking about what I was doing, although somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew what I was doing wasn't right. This guy hadn't attacked me... at least not physically. But he'd verbally attacked Bella twice and that was enough for me.

Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, I registered voices yelling and screaming, pleading with the two of us to calm the fuck down. Hands groped and grabbed, trying to pry us apart, but it was no use. We continued to fight, and suddenly, I became aware of a throbbing pain in my left eye. I realized with a bit of surprise that the asshole had gotten in a good hit. I stumbled backward as he hit me again, this time with a half-filled bottle of beer. The bottle connected with the side of my face, and I cried out in pain as jagged glass cut deep into my skin. Someone shrieked from somewhere beside me, begging us to stop, but I refused. Nobody was going to treat Bella like that; I would make sure of it. I screwed back my arm and was about to hit the guy in the gut when a voice rang out above all the rest. A voice I had never heard before but one I recognized nonetheless.

"Edward, no!"

I was stunned - frozen in place and unable to move. She had spoken... Bella had actually spoken my name. My eyes shot to the side, searching for her face, but I couldn't find her in the sea of people that surrounded me. Then, catching me completely off guard, two sets of hands landed squarely on my shoulders, yanking me backwards. Emmett pulled my roughly against his chest and bent to yell in my ear. His voice was deep and panicked and I knew immediately we were in trouble.

"We have to get the fuck out of here now, Edward. The cops are on the way."

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	13. Changes

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 13 – Changes**

Emmett's panicked warning and the sound of Bella's voice jolted me back into reality.

_What the fuck was I doing?_

I stared down at my bloodied hands and across the way at the asshole frat boy who had incited my fury. He was being held back now by a group of his friends, but his eyes told me he was still begging for a fight. I wanted to give him what he wanted... to finish what I'd started, but the mention of cops made my blood run cold. I couldn't afford to do this. I couldn't afford to get arrested for beating up some dumb punk, no matter how much he deserved it. I had a future to think about and an arrest record didn't fit into that picture.

"We've got to get out of here, _now_," Emmett snarled in my ear, growing increasingly impatient with my hesitation.

"Where's Bella?" I huffed out, my breathing still labored, because I _wasn't_ leaving without her. I didn't give a fuck if the cops showed up or not. I wasn't leaving her here with that guy. Not if my life depended on it.

I felt a hand take firm hold of my forearm, and I glanced down to where Bella's fingers wrapped around me. My eyes flew to hers, relieved to see her, and I grimaced when I saw the wild fear there. She was scared. Scared for me. Her hand reached up, her fingers tentatively brushing gently across my bloody brow before Emmett yanked me towards the back door.

"Come on," he commanded. "We'll leave this way. Rose brought my Jeep around. Bella can drive you home in my car and I'll follow in yours."

"I didn't drive my car. Bella drove," I said, tugging Bella along beside me. She gripped my hand tightly, afraid to let go.

"Fuck..." He hesitated for only a moment before muttering, "I'll have to drive her car then. It doesn't matter. You just need to get out of here, _now_."

I didn't disagree. Emmett pushed harder through the burgeoning crowd. Thankfully, people were swarming towards the front of the bar, towards where they thought the action was. Word must not have circulated yet that the fight had already broken up.

Bursting through the back door and out into the alley, Emmett whirled around and looked Bella straight into the eye.

"Can you drive a stick?" he asked, motioning with his hand to indicate shifting gears. Bella nodded in response, her eyes moving quickly between him and me. Just then, Rose pulled up and jumped out of the Jeep, leaving the driver's side door open. Bella clambered in, settling her hand on the gear shift while I jogged around to the other side.

"I need your keys," Emmett said, poking his head inside the driver's side window and catching Bella's attention. She reached into her purse and pulled them out, her hands shaking as she placed them into Emmett's.

"Are you okay to drive?" he asked, noting Bella's anxiety. She took a deep breath before looking Emmett straight in the eye and nodding yes. He glanced in my direction then, and I hurriedly explained where Bella had parked her car before he smacked the roof of his Jeep and Bella pulled away.

As Bella turned out of the alley, I could hear sirens approaching, and I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, knowing we had narrowly escaped being caught. I wondered briefly if the asshole frat boy would think to press charges. I had thrown the first punch, and there were probably plenty of witnesses who could testify to that fact, but most… if not all, could identify me solely by sight and not by name, so I figured I was safe. Besides, if the kid had any sense, he had probably gotten out of there just as quickly as I did.

It wasn't until we were safely on the highway that Bella turned to look at me. I could see that she was still shaking, and I immediately reached over and placed my hand on her thigh in an effort to try and help calm her. She exhaled a shaky sigh, swallowing hard before glancing in my direction, her face shadowed over with deep concern.

_*Are you okay?*_

Her right hand shook as she signed, and on impulse, I reached up and grabbed it. Threading my fingers through hers, I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, trying my best to reassure her that I was fine, but Bella didn't look too convinced. Her eyes flickered to the side of my face, where I could already feel swelling starting to occur, but she quickly looked away, focusing her attention back on the highway.

Twenty minutes later, we arrived at my apartment. Bella had never been there before, but I lived right across the street from campus, and it hadn't been hard to direct her there. I had offered to drop Bella off at her apartment, but she had refused, worried about me driving the distance to mine. I felt certain I could make it on my own, but I didn't insist. If Bella felt better driving me home, I wouldn't argue with her. Truth be told, I _was_ a mess. My head was fucking killing me, and it occurred to me that I might even need stitches. I wouldn't know until I got a good look in the mirror, but I was hoping that whatever the damage was, butterfly bandages would suffice.

I was nervous as hell as Bella and I stepped up to my apartment door. Bella was tense - she had been ever since we left the club, and it didn't take much to figure out that she was upset about the night's events. We hadn't exactly been in a position to talk about what happened in the car, but I was sure we would be talking about it here. After unlocking the door, we moved inside, and when I flipped on the foyer light, I watched as Bella immediately began taking note of her surroundings. She took everything in with practiced precision, paying particular attention to where all the light switches were located. Walking past me into the living room, she took it upon herself to flip the switch beside the television console. Track lighting situated in the ceiling above lit up when she did, and Bella nodded to herself, storing this little slip of information away for future use. None of this surprised me; switching lights on and off was the best way for her to capture my attention, and I suspected she scouted out switches in any new environment she entered for the first time.

Turning back in my direction, Bella grimaced when she caught sight of me standing fully illuminated in the foyer light._ I must really look bad_, I thought to myself as she hurried back to my side. Reaching up, she touched her fingers to the side of my face, tracing a soft trail down my cheek before gently cupping my chin. I couldn't help but close my eyes in response, sighing and leaning into her tender touch - craving the comfort it provided.

_*We need to get you cleaned up,*_ she signed after pulling her hand away. I nodded, wanting so desperately for her to continue touching me but knowing that I needed to attend to my face. First things first, I needed some fucking ibuprofen. Taking Bella by the hand, I led her through the apartment, pausing just outside my bathroom door. I held up a single finger, asking her to wait a minute while I gathered the necessary first aid supplies and brought them into the living room. Bella nodded in understanding, and I slipped inside the bathroom.

Once inside, I shut the door, pausing a moment to quickly assess my injuries. I grimaced as I surveyed myself in the mirror, realizing the asshole frat boy had done more damage than I'd expected. I would definitely have a black eye tomorrow, no doubt about that, and a laceration above my right cheek bone would require several butterfly bandages. There were several other less prominent cuts and contusions which all together didn't paint a pretty picture, but all in all, it definitely could have been worse. I got off relatively easy considering the boy could have broken my nose. Thankfully, he had missed that part of my face entirely. It also didn't appear as if I would need any stitches, which was a blessing unto itself. Going to a hospital might call attention to the fight, and I sure as hell didn't need that.

I decided to clean up a little before letting Bella help me treat my wounds. I took a moment to carefully wash the dried blood from my face before pulling my blood-stained shirt over my head. That proved to be a difficult and awkward task, and I groaned in pain as the fabric of the shirt pulled against the laceration on my cheek. I decided to forgo putting on another shirt after that. It made no sense, seeing as that I slept shirtless anyway. Next, I stripped off my jeans. Looking around the bathroom floor, I spied the cargo shorts I had slept in the night before and slipped them on before popping 800mg of Motrin into my mouth and swallowing them down with a big swig of water. Deciding I had done all that I could reasonably do in order to clean myself up, I grabbed some antibiotic ointment and bandages and headed back into the hall.

The hall was empty, and my eyes immediately flickered to the living room where I assumed Bella would be, but she wasn't there. I momentarily panicked when I didn't see her, overcome with the sudden and irrational fear that she had decided to leave. I knew that I had lost control in the bar tonight, and even if I _was_ defending Bella, I wouldn't have been surprised if it was too much for her to handle. It was too much for _me_ to handle. I didn't normally act like that. I considered myself to be a pretty reasonable guy, but I had completely lost my mind when that guy made fun of Bella for the second time.

I was just about to grab my phone and text Bella when a flash of movement from inside my room caught my eye. Curious, I peeked around the partially closed door, inhaling sharply when I saw Bella hunched over my desk. She was turned away from me, but even so, I could clearly make out the shape of a DVD case in her hand. I swallowed hard. That could only mean one thing; Bella had stumbled upon my collection of Baby Signing Times DVDs.

Suddenly, I felt very embarrassed. I had never intended for Bella to see those DVDs, let alone the plethora of books on the hearing impaired scattered haphazardly about my desk. I wondered if it would overwhelm her, or scare her away. One thing was certain, if she didn't know I was committed to becoming a part of her world before, she knew now. Tossing the forgotten first aid supplies to the side, I reached my hand out beside me, feeling along the wall for the light switch. I turned it off and on one time before letting my hand drop back by my side. Bella turned to face me in response, her eyes briefly flickering to my bare chest before slowing rising to meet mine.

_ *What's this?*_ she signed, slowly holding up the DVD in her hand, and I knew that this was it.

This was the moment in which my relationship with Bella would change forever. I could feel it in every part of who I was, right down through the thick of my skin, and if Bella's quick and shallow breaths were any indication, she felt it too. I took a small step forward, all the while Bella watching me, regarding me cautiously out of eyes heavy with a look I knew well. It was a yearning for something just out of reach, something she thought she could never have but was finally beginning to realize she could. Bella _could_ have me. She _already_ had me. She'd had me from the moment we'd first met.

_I want to be with you, _I signed, my eyes never leaving hers as I communicated my deepest and most sincere feelings, and my words needed no further explanation. It was clear what I wanted and Bella sighed, an act that caused her slight frame to shudder. Slowly, she raised her right hand to her chest where she formed the letter "e", shaking it gently in front of her heart.

_*Edward.*_

My name - she was signing my name, and in that moment I was reminded that she had actually _spoken_ my name in the club earlier tonight, but right now, that was of little concern to me. I took another step forward, bringing us closer together, close enough so that Bella could read my lips.

"What does that mean?" I whispered, wanting so badly to know.

Bella seemed surprised by my question, as if she hadn't even realized she had signed my name. Glancing down to where her hand hovered over her heart, her cheeks bloomed in a beautiful shade of red. She tried to look away, but I wouldn't let her. Waving my hand in front of her, I caught her attention, and she cast a tentative glance back in my direction.

_Please_, I signed, rotating my open palm in a clockwise motion over my heart. Bella bit down on her lower lip, struggling with whether or not to answer me.

_It's okay. You can trust me_, I signed, hoping my unwavering gaze would convey the sincerity of my words. Bella hesitated for only a moment before nodding slowly, and I swallowed thickly, waiting with baited breath for her to answer…

_*Your sign name... it means...*_ Bella exhaled a slow, soft breath, looking me directly in the eye. _*You've taken my heart, Edward. You've shaken it up,*_ she said, her hands trembling as she signed. _*Whenever you are around, it beats wildly in my chest.*_

I took one step closer.

_You've taken mine too,_ I replied, assuring her that we were in this together.

At my words, Bella took a step in my direction.

_*Things are changing,*_ she signed when she was standing right before me, and I wanted to reach out and pull her into my arms, telling her there was no use in fighting it, but Bella was a very practical girl; she wouldn't be swayed by emotion alone.

_We can make this work_, I signed. _I know you're scared, but we can make this work._

I took a chance then, reaching out to take her hand. My fingers grazed hers and she gripped them, causing my breath to catch in the back of my throat. I was so fucking nervous. I wanted to do the right thing… say the right thing. I didn't want Bella to turn me away. Then again, if she felt anything like I did, she wouldn't be able to.

_*This will be difficult. You know this,*_ Bella signed, making sure I understood precisely what I was saying.

I understood perfectly well, and it didn't change a thing.

I tugged on Bella's hand, pulling her closer until she was just a hair's breath away.

_I know._

_*If this ends badly...*_

"It won't," I murmured while gently extricating my hand from Bella's. I allowed myself the luxury of skimming it up her arm and into her hair then, making sure to keep my other hand free to sign. Bella sighed in response, her body unwittingly reacting to my touch by leaning into me, seeking the warmth and reassurance I provided. She wanted me to touch her, _needed_ it just as much as I did; I could feel it more strongly now than ever before.

_Don't talk, just feel,_ I signed, taking one final step forward and closing the remaining space between us. I lowered my head then, never hesitating as I slowly, softly, ghosted my lips across Bella's. At first she held still, her body motionless as my lips skimmed across hers, but then her lips, so soft and supple, started moving tentatively against mine, and I groaned, overwhelmed by the sensation. I was consumed by feelings of want and desire, yet at the same time humbled by the reverence I felt for this beautiful woman standing before me. She was fucking perfect, in every sense of the word, and perhaps now she would finally be mine.

The thought caused me to kiss Bella more forcefully, and she responded in kind, taking my lower lip between hers and sucking softly. I exhaled a deep, shaky sigh, winding my hand around her hair and tilting her head to the side so that I could kiss her more soundly. Moments passed, and the only sounds to be heard were the soft sighs and quiet moans of two people who had finally given in to the inevitable, and though my body was coiled tight in anticipation, wanting more, more, more, I did my best not to rush things. I was determined to take this slow. I wanted to show Bella what she meant to me, that I would never hurt her and that she was the only one for me, despite the obstacles we might face.

Pulling my mouth from her hers, I kissed along the smooth skin of her jaw, downward towards her neck where I peppered the valley connecting chin and chest with tiny, soft kisses. Bella whimpered in response, her hand reaching out to find purchase in my hair, and to me, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. It rung in my ears like a choir of bells and reminded me once again of the sound of my name falling from her lips.

_Bella had said my name._ She'd actually said my name.

As distracted as I was by the magnificent curve of her neck, I forced myself to pull back at that thought. Bella whimpered in protest, but relaxed when I cradled her face between both of my hands.

"You said my name," I said, my voice filled with wonder and awe, and I knew that Bella had understood what I said by the rose colored blush that worked its way across her face.

_*I've been practicing,* _she signed in response, her eyes part nervous, part proud, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why she would be nervous. Not wanting her to feel this way, I gently brushed the pads of my thumbs across her cheekbones in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture.

"It was beautiful... perfect," I murmured, my eyes focused intently on hers, and my words caused Bella to blush again. "Could you... would you say it again?" I asked, hopeful that she would. Bella's chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, and I could tell that she wasn't sure. Whether it was from embarrassment or not, I didn't know, but I did know that I never wanted her to feel like she couldn't share all of whom she was with me. In an effort to encourage her, I briefly lowered my lips to hers, kissing her softly and trying my hardest to reassure her with my touch. It must have worked, because when I pulled back, Bella's lips pulled up in a tentative smile before forming the single, most perfect word in the world…

"Ehhhhdwaaard_"_

I inhaled sharply, an uncontainable grin spreading across my face as I dipped down to quickly kiss her lips. Bella giggled - her entire face lighting up at my delight.

"Say it again," I encouraged her, and her smile widened.

"Edward_"_

_ "_Again_..."_

_ "_Edward_"_

This time when I kissed her, I didn't stop. I _couldn't_. My hands pushed past her cheeks and into her hair, winding and twisting and securing her to me. Bella did the same, taking care not to touch where I was hurt, and I groaned when she pulled me closer. This kiss was different from our first - stronger, more confident and laced with unquestionable desire. I wanted Bella so badly and she clearly wanted me. We were through denying our attraction, our need, and I had never been so grateful. Moving from her lips to her neck, I kissed across to her ear.

"You're beautiful," I whispered over and over again, even though I knew she couldn't hear me. It didn't matter. I'd say it anyway. _For me._

It was Bella who pulled away several moments later, her fingers gently tracing across my battered face.

_*We need to fix you up,*_ she signed, her face full of tenderness and concern, and although she was probably right, I didn't want to.

Now that I knew what it was like to be close to Bella – to touch her, hold her and kiss her, I wasn't sure I could stop. Not now… not yet. So I shook my head _no_, telling her that I was fine and it could wait until tomorrow, but she ignored me, walking past me to where I'd thrown the first aid supplies on the floor. She picked up the box of bandages and an alcohol wipe, and beckoned me towards the bed where we sat down together side by side. With tender touches and care, Bella quickly fixed me up, cleansing my wounds before gently applying the butterfly bandages. Soon she was through, and I reached out my hand, taking hers in mine and leading her toward my bedroom door. I pulled it closed, pausing for a moment before switching off the light.

_Is this okay?_ I asked once our eyes had a chance to adjust to the darkness, and Bella nodded her head. There was no hesitation on her part, which caused my heart to soar in my chest. Tugging her over to my bed, we slowly lay down together, situating ourselves underneath the blankets on our sides. Bella's hands peeked out from beneath, soon finding their way into my hair where she scratched and kneaded as her lips ghosted across my face. My eyelids fluttered closed as she kissed each and every bruise, and I sighed in contentment, pulling her closer.

_I've waited for this for so long,_ I signed, the moonlight filtering in through the window enabling us to communicate in the dark, and before she had a chance to respond, I captured her lips with mine, kissing her slowly, softly, tenderly. Our tongues eventually tangled, our kisses becoming more heated, and I let myself get lost in the sensation of being with a woman I felt more deeply about than I could have ever imagined. My body tingled and buzzed as we kissed each other, the euphoria of being with Bella overshadowing everything else that had happened that night. Soon we grew tired, our kisses punctuated by lazy, satisfied yawns, and after awhile, I fell asleep, holding what was rapidly becoming the most important thing in my world securely in my arms. I only hoped this happiness, so fragile and so new, had the strength and ability to last.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	14. Terms and Conditions

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 14 - Terms and Conditions**

I never understood the desire to wake up with someone in my arms, to feel the soft curves of a woman's body pressed against my own. The need to feel connected to someone like that all out baffled me; I had never craved that type of intimacy before. As crass as it sounds, prior to Bella, when I was with a woman it was only for the sex.

This morning was different. I woke up to the most amazing feelings ever... the feel of Bella's legs tangled together with mine, the feel of her soft breath tickling my chest, the feel of her hand resting gently in the crook of my neck. They were the most wonderful sensations in the world, and I literally pinched myself, thinking it had to be a dream. But it wasn't. I clearly remembered kissing Bella the night before, eventually leading her to my bed where we slept together the whole night through. Other parts of me remembered it too, causing me to pull away from her just a bit so as not to make her feel uncomfortable. Bella and I may have finally moved forward in our relationship, but we weren't going anywhere in a rush. We needed to take things slow. I knew that. Bella knew that. Honestly, I already felt as if I had won the lottery. Holding her in my arms was as close to perfect as things could get.

Not wanting to get up just yet, I laid in bed with Bella for several long minutes, watching her sleep while gently pulling my fingers through her long, soft hair. I had dreamt of doing this nearly every night since I met her, and now that I was finally able to touch her like that, I found I couldn't stop. It was as close to a compulsion as I had ever experienced… my need to be physically connected to Bella in every manner possible, and it was exhilarating, thrilling and humbling all at once.

As I lay there, my thoughts drifted to the night before; if the splitting headache I had wasn't reminder enough of the events that had taken place, the butterfly bandages Bella had so tenderly put in place were. They were tugging at my cheek now, and I grumbled in annoyance as I scratched around their edges. Thanks to the ibuprofen I had taken, the swelling was going down, but I knew that I couldn't go into the hospital today or tomorrow looking like this. I wasn't happy about that. I volunteered twenty hours a week at the hospital, all on the weekends, and it wouldn't look good for me to miss my scheduled shifts. Unfortunately, I didn't see that I had much of a choice. If I volunteered at the hospital today, there would be too many questions – ones I couldn't provide answers for.

I tried not to wake Bella as I gently extricated my arm from around her waist, needing to call the hospital before it got too late. Alas, I wasn't very successful, and she shifted in my arms, stretching like a contented cat before turning onto her back and smiling softly up at me. I looked down at her, and _God_, she took my breath away. Even at the break of day, after one _hell_ of a night out, she was stunning. Her tousled hair splayed wildly about was sexy as fuck, and her sleepy eyes, regarding me so tenderly, caused me to swallow back a sigh.

_You're beautiful, _I signed, staring down at her in wonder. Bella sighed contentedly, reaching up to cup my face in the palm of her hand.

"Good morning," I murmured, turning to kiss her sweet skin.

_*Good morning.*_

Bella touched the fingers of her right hand to her chin, pulling them forward in front of her before dropping her arm perpendicular to her body and slowly raising it in an arc. She had to improvise the sign for _morning_ since her left arm was pinned between us, but I understood her perfectly.

"It's a _perfect_ morning," I said, not even trying to contain my grin. I bent over and placed a soft kiss on Bella's lips, but before I could take it any further, she wiggled out from underneath me, blushing while shaking the letter "t" in front of her. I pouted, not wanting her to leave my side, but I pulled back the covers anyway, releasing her to use the bathroom. Upon seeing my expression, Bella laughed. Leaning over, she softly kissed my lips, teasing my frown into a smile.

_*I'll be right back. I promise,*_ she signed with a smile before slipping out of bed, and I couldn't help but smile after her.

While Bella was in the bathroom, I took a moment to call the hospital. The volunteer coordinator was disappointed to learn that I would be absent from work all weekend long, but I told her that it couldn't be helped. I assured her that I would be in the following weekend, and I promised to make up my missed hours by taking on extra shifts in the upcoming weeks. I knew this wouldn't be easy, as my time was already stretched thin, but I didn't have much of a choice.

Bella appeared in the threshold to my doorway not long after I hung up. Her hair was freshly brushed, and I really wanted her to crawl back under the covers with me so that I could kiss her senseless, but when her pensive gaze met mine, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

_*Where is your iPad?*_ she asked, signaling me that it was time to talk. I didn't have to think twice about what.

I tried not to let my anxiety show as I trod over to my desk and pulled my iPad from my backpack, but it was difficult not to. I was nervous that Bella was upset with me for what happened last night, even though her actions up until this point hadn't indicated that she was. Walking back towards where she stood, I grabbed Bella's hand and lead her back to bed, climbing in beside her and settling against her side. I exhaled a small sigh of relief when she snuggled closer. If she was upset with me, at least she wasn't pushing me away. This definitely helped to settle my nerves. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I kissed her temple as she situated the iPad comfortably in her lap. Soon she was typing away, her first question to the point and not unexpected.

***What happened last night?* **

Bella slid the iPad into my lap, and I reluctantly removed my arm from around her shoulder to respond.

** I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I know that I completely overreacted, but when that guy started making fun of you, I snapped. For it to happen once was one thing. But I couldn't handle it the second time around.**

I wrapped my arm back around Bella, wanting to feel close to her as she read my words. When she finished, she looked up at me.

_*You hit him first,*_ she signed, though thankfully, there didn't seem to be any sign of judgment on her face.

_I know,_ I replied, hanging my head.

Even though the asshole needed to be put in his place, I did feel guilty for throwing the first punch. The thing is I wasn't normally prone to violence, but I was wound so tight, my instinct to defend Bella almost primal in nature… something that I couldn't deny, even when she had begged me to walk away. I just couldn't. But that didn't make what I did right, and I knew it.

Bella noted my brooding expression and gently skimmed her palm along the edge of my wounded cheek, catching my attention. Her eyes, full of sympathy and understanding, held mine for a beat before focusing back on the iPad.

** *I know what you were doing, Green Eyes, and I appreciate that you wanted to defend me. Believe me; I understand better than anybody the desire to lash out against people like that, but you really scared me last night. You're hurt now... because of _me_, and I don't like that.***

My head snapped up at Bella's words, surprised by what she had written.

"This isn't your fault," I asserted, confused by how she could feel that way, but Bella obviously disagreed. Shaking her head sadly she wrote, ***Indirectly, yes it is.***

_How can you say that?_ I signed back, slightly irritated. The notion that this was in any way her fault was completely ludicrous, and I refused to pretend otherwise.

***Because if you weren't with me last night, none of this would have happened.***

Bella looked up at me then, her strong and steady gaze meeting mine, and I could see that she was entirely convinced of her own words. This worried me, as did the unspoken suggestion that if we weren't together, these types of situations could be avoided. But Bella was wrong. It wasn't just her I would defend; I would stand up for anyone in her situation. Wrong is wrong, no matter who is involved. I pulled the iPad back into my lap, a bit more roughly than necessary, but I refused to let her take responsibility for something that wasn't her fault.

**Let's not go there, Bella. Okay? Because regardless of whom we are to each other, I would have defended you last night. I could never stand by and watch someone treat you or anybody else so disrespectfully. Our relationship has nothing to do with how I reacted. **

Bella studied me thoughtfully for a moment, her brown eyes holding mine in an intense gaze before slowly softening. When she leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine, I kissed her back, slipping my hand behind her head and gently stroking her cheek with my thumb. She pulled away, and I rested my forehead against hers, continuing to caress her soft skin.

** *I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that our relationship is solely responsible for what happened. I know that's not the case. I just hate that you're hurt, Edward, all because someone made a couple of tactless comments. I just wish that you wouldn't have hit him is all.* **

When Bella looked up at me, I could see that her feelings were sincere. She wasn't judging me for my actions, but she wasn't pleased by them either. This bothered me more than it should have. Even though I knew my actions were over the top, I didn't like how Bella seemed to minimize what happened. The asshole hadn't just made a couple of "tactless" comments. And his comments weren't directed solely at Bella…

**Just out of curiosity, what do you think I should have done? Simply stand by and let that asshole make fun of you... of us? Because it wasn't just you he offended, Bella, he offended me too.**

***I understand that, but do you always go around hitting everybody who offends you?***

Bella's response was unexpected, and when I looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her feelings, I was somewhat taken aback by what I saw there. Her gaze was hard and firm and I felt myself flush with both anger and confusion. Whose side was she on, anyway? Upon seeing my expression, Bella sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head in frustration. Before I had a chance to respond to what she'd written, she took the iPad back.

***I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I'm not trying to point fingers here, Edward. Believe me when I say that I appreciate your desire to defend me. Knowing you care so much means everything to me. But if we're going to attempt to be together, you're going to have to understand something. There will be times when I will be teased. There will be times when people will make rude and ignorant comments. It happened last night and it will happen again. I may not like it, you may not like it, but there's not much we can do about it, so we have to try our best just to ignore it.***

Bella pushed the iPad back in my direction, but if anything, after reading what she had written, I was even more irritated than I was before.

**So you're saying that if it was up to you, you wouldn't have said anything to that guy? Nothing at all? You would have just let him get away with treating you like that?**

Bella didn't hesitate one moment in her response.

***That's exactly what I'm saying. Honestly, Edward, and I mean no disrespect, but if you walked a mile in my shoes, you'd understand. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Some fights just aren't worth fighting.***

I looked over at Bella then, and she looked up at me, and just like last night, a resigned expression clouded her beautiful face. It fucking killed me to see her looking like that. For someone so strong and so confident, at times Bella seemed so powerless… powerless to stand up against something that was clearly wrong. Reaching out, I pulled my fingers through the hair that hung by the side of her face. I didn't want to fight with her, especially not now, only a few short hours after finally giving in to our feelings. Bella must have felt the same way, because she snuggled closer into my side, sighing as I bent to kiss her temple.

_I really am sorry,_ I signed after a moment's time._ I just didn't like watching him make fun of you. It hurt me._

_*I didn't like watching you fight with him. It scared me,*_ Bella signed in response, and looking deep into her eyes, I could that see she was being honest. Even now, her face was plagued by worry and remorse, her eyes constantly examining my battered face. Her fingers came up, gently tracing the outer rim of my swollen eye, and I honestly thought she might cry.

_*No more fighting,*_ she signed a moment later. _*I won't be the cause of you getting hurt. Okay?*_

I gritted my teeth, not wanting to lie to Bella, but not wanting to make a promise that I couldn't keep either, because I knew that if someone made fun of her again, I would be hard pressed _not_ to say something.

_*Edward,*_ she warned, noting my hesitation.

_I'll try, _I finally offered, but it seemed that that wasn't good enough. Bella narrowed her eyes at me, and while they weren't angry, behind them laid an unmistakable hint of warning.

_*You don't need to fight my fights. I can take care of myself.*_

Bella's gaze was steady and firm and I knew that on this matter, there would be no compromise. Reluctantly, I nodded my head, and she nodded back, relaxing against me and kissing my chest, bringing the conversation to a close… for now, anyway. My hand rubbed soothingly up and down her arm, and soon the quiet of the early morning and the comfort of lying in one another's arms lulled us both back to sleep.

I awoke a little while later to the feel of Bella's forefinger tracing lazy designs on my chest and the sight of her sleepy eyes gazing thoughtfully up at me. I yawned, still exhausted from the night before. The cat nap had helped to take the edge off, but it was a fitful sleep for me. Even though Bella and I had discussed what happened in the club the night before, I was keenly aware of the fact that we had yet to discuss another important matter, namely, what happened _between us_. We'd kissed each other for the first time, and she was currently lying in bed beside me, wrapped up tight in my arms. I could only assume that meant we were finally a couple, but I needed reassurance that this was indeed the case. I needed to know that what happened last night wasn't a onetime event; I needed to know she was finally mine.

"Hi," I whispered, reaching out to trace a line with my finger down the side of her face. She smiled softly, her eyelids fluttering closed when I bent to kiss her forehead. When she opened them again, she sighed.

_*I wish we could lie here all day long,*_ she signed, and her words filled me with such pleasure and relief, I had to close my eyes to process the feelings. Her words were exactly what I wanted… _needed_ to hear. I felt Bella tap me gently on my shoulder, and I opened my eyes, only to see her looking worriedly up at me.

_*Is everything okay?*_ she asked.

"Yes," I assured her with a kiss to the forehead. _Everything is better than okay. I was just worried…_

Bella crinkled her brows in confusion, and I couldn't resist leaning in to kiss the tiny creases that formed in the corners of her eyes.

_*About what?*_

I hesitated a moment before murmuring, "us."

Bella seemed surprised, so I clarified.

_Last night was perfect… everything I've wanted for so long. But things are often different by the light of day…_

_*Do you regret what happened?* _Bella asked, her eyes growing wide with concern, and I couldn't place my lips on hers fast enough, reassuring her that was definitely not the case.

_No_, I shook my head upon pulling away. _But I wondered if you might…_

Bella reached out, her fingers leaving a hot trail along the path she traced across my lower lip.

_*I could never regret kissing you,*_ she signed, her eyes meeting mine in a lingering gaze that left no doubt she was being sincere. I nodded, exhaling a deep sigh of relief.

_You're not going anywhere, are you?_ I asked, but I knew the answer to that question before I even asked. I could see that Bella was just as wrapped up in this as I was, and she could never just walk away. Thing had changed for the both of us last night; there would be no going back to what we were before.

_*No*_, she said, shaking her head.

_So where do we go from here? _

It was a question that had to be asked. There was a lot to consider here, namely the fact that Bella was my teacher and I was her student. We needed to decide how to handle that. Bella's face grew pensive for a moment as she sorted through her thoughts.

_*If it's okay with you, I'd like to carry on as we are, at least until I speak with my advisor,* _she finally signed, and I nodded my head in agreement. _*We have to continue to be discrete,* _she added, her eyes shifting away from mine as she signed,_ *I can't let what happened last night happen again…*_

Bella's words caused me to sigh in frustration.

_I told you that wasn't your fault, _I signed, but Bella's hands closed over mine before I could sign anything more.

_*That's not what I'm talking about. I let myself get carried away with you in public when I shouldn't have. All the touching, the hand-holding...*_

"Oh," I murmured before sheepishly adding, "I like holding your hand." I reached out and took hers in mine then, bringing it to my lips where I placed a single soft kiss to the smooth skin of her knuckles. Bella's breath quickened at my touch, and I don't think she had any idea what that did to me.

_*I do too,*_ she admitted, her shy smile making her all the more irresistible. *_But until I can get this straightened out with my advisor, I think we should stick to what we were doing before.*_

I leaned in, kissing Bella's lips before resting my forehead against hers.

_Whatever you feel is best. All I want is to be able to see you… and touch you, and kiss you… _

I smiled as I captured Bella's lips in a playful kiss, and she giggled, kissing me back with fire.

_*Thank you,*_ she signed upon pulling away, her right hand weaving into my hair and kneading softly as her grateful brown eyes met mine. _*I'll speak with Shelly as soon as possible, okay?*_

_Okay_, I signed in agreement, and it seemed that at least for the time being, the matter was settled.

After our talk, Bella put the iPad to the side and snuggled against me. We lay together for awhile, my hand absently stroking the length of her arm while hers roamed my chest, but soon she sat up, announcing that she needed to go home. Bella had some studying to do, and since I wasn't going to the hospital today, I decided to dedicate several hours to piano practice.

It was after eleven when we finally emerged from my room, and I scanned the apartment for Emmett, but apparently he wasn't awake yet. I thought it was strange that I hadn't heard from him since last night, but when I retrieved my phone from the pocket of my jeans, I understood why. Emmett had actually called and texted several times last night, but I must have inadvertently switched my ringer off, so I didn't know. Thankfully, he had thought to set Bella's keys on the kitchen counter, and I grabbed them on our way out the door.

When we arrived at Bella's apartment, I had a hard time saying goodbye. I lingered on her doorstep, dropping mostly chaste kisses on her lips before asking if she wanted to meet up for dinner later on. She said that she would text me, and with a final kiss and a small wave goodbye, I reluctantly left her side. If it were up to me, I would have spent the entire day with Bella, but unfortunately, we both had obligations that needed attending to, so I would have to settle for spending time together with her later.

Emmett was awake and eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes on the couch when I walked back through my apartment door. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until my stomach growled loudly at the sight of food, and I helped myself to my own bowl of cereal before settling into the Lazy Boy across from him.

"Dude, what happened to you last night?" Emmett asked between bites of cereal, his voice tinged with annoyance. "I must have called you seventeen times..."

"I know," I grimaced, feeling guilty about that. "I didn't realize the ringer was off."

Emmett had a hard time controlling the smirk that crept across his face.

"Are you sure it didn't have anything to do with entertaining a certain lady friend of yours?" he teased and damn it if my face didn't turn beet red.

"How do you know she was even here?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him in suspicion.

"I checked on you, of course," Emmett scoffed. "What type of a friend do you think I am, anyway? I knocked on your door when I got home, and when you didn't answer I opened it on my own. I wanted to make sure you were okay. From the looks of it, you were just fine." Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me and I tossed a soggy Frosted Flake in his direction.

"Shut up. I've told you before, it's not like that. I really care about her." My voice grew quiet as I spoke, and Emmett's face immediately sobered, all teasing pushed aside.

"I know you do," he said, leveling serious eyes on mine. "And you very nearly got yourself arrested because of it."

I groaned at Emmett's words, once again reminded of last night's fiasco. Would I ever live my momentary lapse in judgment down? I was beginning to think I wouldn't.

"What were you thinking?" he pressed a moment later. "Seriously, man, you were two seconds away from landing your ass in jail."

"I wasn't thinking," I said, shaking my head. "I overreacted. I know this. Bella and I have already talked about it, and I'm going to try and reign in my temper."

"That would be advisable," Emmett said in all seriousness.

"I know, I know," I said with a shake of my head. "It's just… you have no idea how hard it was for me to see Bella treated like that. I mean, imagine if that was Rose. What would you have done?"

Emmett didn't hesitate in the slightest before offering me his response.

"I would have ripped his fucking head off," he half-laughed. Of course, neither one of us found any part of this situation funny, but Emmett spoke the truth. It was almost instinctual... the need to protect someone you cared about. I almost hadn't been able to control myself last night. I'd never really felt that way before, as if I was walking a thin line, teetering on the edge of a dangerous precipice. But I felt that way now.

"I think I might be screwed," I sighed in resignation. I went to take another bite of my cereal, but I realized I wasn't hungry anymore. I set the bowl aside and settled back into the Lazy Boy.

"Why do you say that?"

Apparently Emmett's appetite wasn't affected in the least because he continued to inhale his cereal.

"I don't know," I said, running my hand through my hair in frustration. "I guess I never considered that Bella and I would be dealing with this type of thing. We're adults for Christ's sake. What the fuck was that guy thinking, anyway? I can understand teasing in grade school, but in college? And apparently it happens a lot. Bella's fairly immune to it, so she says, but Jesus, it's got to hurt."

"I can only imagine," Emmett agreed.

"Bella said this is going to be hard," I absently added. "So I guess this is our first test."

"This?" Emmett wondered, furrowing his brows.

"Her and me as a couple," I clarified, and he nodded in understanding.

"So you're together now…"

"Yeah, we are."

"Well it's definitely going to present some unique challenges," Emmett admitted, "but if you really care about each other, you should be able to overcome those challenges, right?"

"I hope so," I sighed. "I guess it'll just take time to adjust to living in each other's worlds," I said, and while I'd thought about this ad nauseum over the last several months, it wasn't until now that I felt the weight of what lay before Bella and I rest firmly on my shoulders. But Bella was worth it. She was worth the effort. She had said earlier that some fights weren't worth fighting, but some definitely were. _She_ was worth fighting for.

"You know, just in case you were wondering, I did a little asking around, and I figured out who that guy was," Emmett said a few moments later, settling back down on the couch after carrying his empty bowl into the kitchen.

"You did?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah... I did. His name is James. He's a sophomore at USF. Turns out that Rosie recognized him. He dates some girl named Victoria, who happens to be in the same sorority as Tanya."

"Apparently, he's a total ass," Emmett continued. "Rosie says that Vicky always has a lot of unexplainable bruises…"

"Jesus," I said, wincing at his words. "He sounds like a real class act."

"Yeah, he's an asshole all right. Lucky for you, he split last night. The cops got there moments after you left, but you were both gone. You did a number on his nose, though. He could have pressed charges, Edward."

"I know," I said, not really needing any reminder of what _could_ have happened.

"Do me a favor…"

"What's that?"

"If you happen to cross paths with him again, just walk away. Seriously, Edward, I don't trust him, and he's definitely not worth getting into another fight over."

Again, Bella's words came back to me. _Some fights aren't worth fighting. _

In James' case, I was beginning to think she was right.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

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**Next Update:** Two weeks. Sorry, but I have a lot going on over the next several weeks, and there is some editing that needs to be done to Chaper 15 before it will be ready to post.

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to aerobee82. I can't say enough about what an awesome person she is, and I am so lucky to count her as my pre-reader and, most importantly, my friend. Go check out her story, Antiques Roadshow. It's a welcome change to your typical canon Vampward.


	15. Forward Moving Motion

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 15 - Forward Moving Motion**

I could not imagine a happier time in my life.

It had been two weeks since Bella and I finally gave in to our feelings for each other, and we had been nearly inseparable ever since- off campus, at her apartment, anyway. Today, I was crossing my fingers that would all change. Bella was currently in a meeting with her faculty advisor, informing Shelly about our relationship.

I sat on the first floor of the library, attempting to complete my biology readings while waiting for Bella to arrive, but I wasn't getting much done. I was anxious for her meeting to be over with; I wanted to know the final outcome. I wasn't exactly worried about Shelly's reaction. I'd done some research of my own over the past couple of weeks, and I had discovered that technically, the university couldn't prevent a graduate teaching assistant from engaging in a relationship with a student. Bella was inclined to agree, but she still felt as if the best course of action would be to inform her advisor that we were dating. If something were to come up, she didn't want Shelly to be caught off guard. I respected her decision, wanting only to do whatever made Bella comfortable. A comfortable Bella was a happy Bella, and in my book, that's all that mattered.

Glancing out the window for the hundredth time that hour, I was able to make out two figures in the distance, walking in the direction of the library. They were easily identifiable as Bella and Jacob, and I frowned at the sight, not liking the fact that he was walking alongside her. Despite the fact that Jacob and Bella were just friends, his presence put me on edge, making me feel as if I had to compete for Bella's affections, even though she had never once given me any reason to feel that way. Heaving a deep sigh, I did my best to push my irrational jealousy aside. Whether I liked it or not, Jake was an important part of Bella's life, and as hard as it might be for me to accept this fact, I didn't have much of a choice. I might not like him, and I sure as hell didn't trust him, but I would never ask Bella to exclude him from her life. That would be selfish and unfair of me, and I couldn't expect her to make that sort of sacrifice.

While sitting in my seat brooding, Bella and Jake approached the entrance to the library, and I watched them as they paused outside the front door. Jake's hands moved fluidly through the air, signing something to Bella that made her laugh before pulling her into his arms. This caused me to frown. Though it was clearly an innocent embrace, the fact that he held her in his arms bothered me. She was mine to touch, hold and care for, but something in the way he looked at her as Bella walked away told me that a part of Jake felt that way too. He cared deeply for her, that much was obvious, and I realized I couldn't afford to let my guard down where Bella was concerned, because if I did, I might lose her. I shook my head, outright rejecting that thought. I couldn't afford to let that happen; my heart was too invested to survive that.

Once I knew that Bella was inside the building, I began drumming my fingers on the surface of the table, anxious to see her. I was eager to speak with her to discuss the details of her meeting, but I was also keen on having a little bit of fun. Knowing it wouldn't take her long to find me, I quickly opened my biology book, pretending to be hard at work and completely uninterested in how her meeting went. When she arrived at the table several moments later, I didn't look up. Instead, I remained focused on my textbook, purposely ignoring her while at the same time trying my best not to smile. A few moments passed, and I noted out of the corner of my eye that Bella's foot was working overtime tapping out an unidentifiable rhythm on the floor. A few more moments passed, and when I _still_ hadn't acknowledged her, Bella reached out and turned my book right side up.

_Oops…_

Looking up at her with an impish grin, I pushed my text aside. Bella shook her head at my antics, pulling out the seat catty-corner to mine.

_How did it go?_ I asked once she was seated, but there was really no need for me to. Bella's magnificent smile told me all that I needed to know. It stretched from ear to ear, brightening her entire face.

_*It couldn't have gone better!*_ she excitedly signed before leaning over and retrieving her iPad from where her bag lay on the floor.

** *Shelly was very sympathetic. She said that while relationships between teachers and students aren't exactly encouraged, they aren't frowned upon either. She wants us to be sure to keep things professional in the classroom, which I assured her we would, and she doesn't suggest openly exhibiting our relationship on campus. Otherwise, she assured me I had nothing to worry about. ***

I read what Bella had written with great relief. She had been so worried about the potential consequences of our teacher/student relationship, and now that worry could be put to rest. Bella was obviously pleased. She was practically bubbling over with excitement, and I decided this was cause for a celebration.

**So, does this mean I get to take you out on an actual date?**

I raised my brows in question, daring Bella to say no.

_*If you'd like,*_ she signed, biting down softly on her lower lip, trying to be coy.

Reaching out, I tugged her lower lip free. Then, catching her completely off guard, I leaned across the table and planted a solid kiss on the center of her lips. She gasped in surprise, playfully pushing me away. Narrowed eyes were all I needed to put me in my place. Apparently campus PDAs were still off limits. Still, she giggled as I informed her that I would most definitely like to take her out.

As it turned out, Bella chose Denny's to celebrate our victory. I wasn't entirely happy about her selection, preferring instead to go somewhere a bit classier, but I had made the mistake of leaving the decision up to her, and Bella insisted she wanted a Grand Slam breakfast... for dinner. In truth, I didn't think she liked the idea of me spending a lot of money on her, which was fine. I respected her need to assert her independence. It was rooted in something much deeper than money, I knew.

True to her word, Bella ordered a Grand Slam breakfast, and when it arrived, she had an unusually good time playing with her food. One extra large pancake, two dollops of butter, a strip of bacon and an orange wedge later, Bella had created a masterpiece - a smiling face worthy of display in The Louvre, or so I assured her through my irrepressible grin. God, this girl made me ridiculously happy. Little things, like sharing bites of our meals with each other, made me feel like a sentimental fool. How could I not have known what I was missing? All those times I rolled my eyes at couples who gazed lovingly into each other's eyes - that was _me_ now, and I wasn't ashamed to admit how much I enjoyed it. These feelings that I had for Bella were all consuming, making me feel light-headed and heady whenever she was around.

We were part way through our dinner when I became acutely aware of several sets of eyes trained directly on Bella. She was right in the middle of teaching me the signs for pancakes and syrup when I noticed them. Bella appeared completely oblivious to their unwelcome attention, but I wasn't. Try as I might I couldn't ignore their pointed stares.

_*What's wrong?*_ Bella signed, looking on at me in concern. I had been happily practicing signs only moments before, but I was scowling now.

_People are staring_, I explained, and Bella's smile slowly faded, causing me to want to reach across the table and prop it back up with my fingers. Bella should _always _smile.

_*Does that make you uncomfortable?*_ she asked, her face falling at the thought, and my eyes opened wide in surprise.

_What? No! Of course not. It doesn't bother me, but I think it's rude,_ I explained.

Bella's gaze softened as she considered my response, and soon, a tender look I was beginning to recognize as belonging only to me settled on her face.

_ *Edward, remember, we talked about this. There's no need for you to feel so defensive all the time. People tend to stare... a lot. It really doesn't bother me. I'm used to it,* _she signed with a shrug.

_You may be used to it, but I'm not,_ I replied, realizing that the pointed stares of strangers _did_ bother me, but not in the way that Bella was thinking. This wasn't about me feeling uncomfortable; I was frustrated that Bella had to regularly endure unsolicited attention. I sighed, annoyed with the situation. Without even realizing what I was doing, I started drumming my fingers on the table top. Bella reached across and stilled them, resting her hand loosely over top of mine.

_*Ignore them,*_ she instructed, and when I felt the toe of her shoe travel up my right calf underneath the table, I couldn't help but crack a smile. Bella was obviously attempting to distract me, and I couldn't deny that it was working, at least for the moment.

"Are you flirting with me?" I teased, and Bella giggled in response.

Strangely enough, there was something very erotic about her foot massaging my leg, and I found myself becoming aroused. Unfortunately, the table of curious on-lookers killed my momentary buzz. I really wished they would look away, leaving Bella and me in peace, but they continued to stare, causing me to start to fidget in my seat. Finally, after doing everything short of leaning across the table and kissing me in an effort to distract me, Bella decided to take matters into her own hands. Surprising everyone, she lifted her hand from the tabletop and waved in the on-lookers' direction.

Two young girls, who looked to be in their teens, at least had the decency to appear embarrassed. Much to my surprise, it looked as if they were with their parents, which only served to annoy me even more. Didn't people teach their children it isn't polite to stare? I remembered my mother drilling this very important fact into my head when I was a young boy, but apparently not every parent did the same. As Bella waved, the two girls timidly waved back, and then Bella surprised us all again, motioning for them to come over. My head jerked in Bella's direction when I realized what she was doing, but she just winked at me, asking me to translate for her.

_*Hello, my name is Bella. What are your names?*_ she signed with a smile once the girls stood before her. They glanced nervously in my direction after she asked her question, and I told them to go ahead and introduce themselves. The youngest one appeared uncertain, but the oldest one didn't hesitate in the least.

"My name is Abby," she said. "And this is my sister, Alicia," she added, pointing to the youngest girl.

_*Nice to meet you, Abby. I didn't catch your sister's name,*_ Bella signed in response. She looked over at me, and her eyes followed my fingers as I finger-spelled Alicia's name. When I was through, she turned back in Alicia's direction and finished introducing herself.

Over the next several minutes, Bella took the time to show the girls how to greet each other in sign language as well as how to finger spell their names. Both of them were entirely captivated by her, intently tracking the movements of her hands as they attempted to replicate them with their own. At first their fingers wouldn't cooperate, and there were some frustrated sighs as each girl worked hard to properly position their hands, but soon these sighs were replaced by excited smiles as both girls mastered finger spelling their own names. It wasn't too long after that their parents joined us, apologizing profusely for interrupting our dinner, but Bella dismissed their concerns with a genuine smile. She loved educating people about the deaf, she told them, right before pulling out two laminated, wallet sized cheat sheets of the ASL alphabet from her bag. She handed one to each of the girls, much to their delight, and their parents thanked Bella kindly one last time before pulling their daughters back over to their own table.

Funny enough, they didn't stare at us for the rest of our dinner.

_You're amazing_, I signed when Bella and I were once again alone. She was so much more tolerant than I could ever hope to be, but true to her humble nature, Bella simply dismissed my compliment with a shrug. She paused, taking a moment to remove her iPad from her bag.

***You know, in my experience, the best defense against ignorance is education. Most of the time when people stare they're just curious. Maybe they haven't seen a deaf person before. If they have, it's almost a given they've never communicated with one. But once they have, the mystery is usually gone. They see we're just like everyone else, only we use our hands to talk. It's simple, really.***

Bella pushed the iPad across the table. I read what she had written, but I didn't think she gave herself enough credit. I didn't think things were nearly as simple as she made them out to be. In my opinion, the more natural response for an individual in her position would be to react defensively. Then again, Bella had been deaf her entire life. She had obviously learned to deal with curiosity in a proactive way, and I loved this. I loved her desire to put a positive spin on whatever circumstances she found herself in. Bella was always so calm and collected. I could learn a thing or two from her about tolerance, but I wasn't sure how easy those lessons would be.

_I wish it was as easy for me to feel comfortable with the situation as it is for you_, I signed, shaking my head in awe at her.

Bella regarded me thoughtfully for a moment before responding.

***I wouldn't necessarily say it's easy for me, Green Eyes. Trust me when I say I haven't always been so relaxed. One of the reasons we left Forks was because people were always staring at me. It was a small town, and I was the only deaf child for hundreds of miles. Imagine the attention I drew. It was hard for me and my parents. I just wanted to feel like I belonged, like I wasn't some sort of sideshow, and I thought I could find that at FSDB. What I didn't realize back then is that it doesn't matter where you live – if you're not comfortable with yourself, then nobody else will be comfortable with you. Does that make sense?***

** It makes complete sense, and I'm sorry; I didn't mean to minimize your feelings. I just wish I was as tolerant as you are. I guess given more time, it will be easier for me too.**

After reading what I had written, Bella reached across the table, taking my hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. Suddenly, I hated the fact that we were sitting so far apart. Standing up, I moved quickly to her side of the booth where I slid in beside her. Bella smiled up at me as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, offering me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

** *I want you to know that you never minimize my feelings. You always listen to everything I have to say. You're a wonderful man, Edward, and I'm proud to be with you. But I will say that at least in my opinion, tolerance isn't necessarily learned. It's a choice - a conscious choice. Once you make the choice not to let others bother you, it's really very easy.***

Bella shrugged her shoulders and smiled up at me, and I was truly lost for words.

_I don't care what you say, you're amazing,_ I finally signed, and Bella giggled. She wasn't giggling for long because I captured her mouth in a not so chaste kiss. She squeaked in surprise, but she didn't protest until I moved to slip my tongue inside her mouth.

*_Edward_,* she warned with a nervous smile when she pulled away. Her eyes widened when they met mine, her breath hitching in the back of her throat.

"Come home with me tonight," I murmured, taking her face between both my hands. I looked Bella directly in the eye as I spoke, softly stroking the pads of my thumbs back and forth across her cheeks. I didn't want for there to be any miscommunication. I wanted her to know exactly what I was asking. I _wanted_ her. I wanted to be with her. I didn't want to wait any longer. Bella must have felt the same because she didn't hesitate to nod her head in response.

_*Do you want to go back to my place?*_ she wondered, worried about Emmett, but I shook my head.

"He's away for the weekend, and my bed is bigger," I replied with a wink and a smile.

Bella playfully slapped my chest as I flagged our waiter for the bill, both of us anxious to leave as soon as possible, and soon we were on our way home, a definite air of nervous anticipation accompanying the now familiar silence. A few blocks from my apartment, Bella laid her hand on my thigh. It was an innocent move, something she did out of habit, but Jesus did it ever turn me on. I couldn't help but imagine her fingers inching upwards, towards where I ached for her to touch me, and it took every measure of self control I possessed not to take her hand in mine and place it over top of me. My foot pressed down on the accelerator, hastening our arrival home.

Pulling up to my apartment, I exited the car, jogging around to open Bella's door for her. Even though my thoughts were clouded with want and desire, I was still a gentleman, and I would treat Bella with the respect she deserved. She smiled shyly up at me as she placed her hand in mine, and I gave it a gentle squeeze before leading her to my front door.

While I was fumbling with the keys, Bella wrapped her arms around my waist from behind, hugging me tightly to her and distracting me from the task at hand. The feel of her arms around me was amazing, and I paused, resting my forehead against the weathered wood of the door, taking a moment to catch myself. I was definitely anxious to get inside, but I didn't want to rush any of this. It had taken both Bella and I months to get to this point in our relationship, and I wanted to savor each and every moment of being with her. Taking a deep breath, I focused on the exquisite sensation of her lips on my back, feeling myself relax underneath her attention. A few moments later, she pulled her left arm from around me, asking me what I was waiting for. Laughing, I slipped the key in the lock and let us both in.

Once inside, Bella continued to kiss me, slowly moving from my back to my front where her hands skimmed up my arms, leaving a tingling trail of sensation in their path. Moving past my shoulders, she stopped only when her hands cupped my face. Bella reached up on tiptoe then, tenderly brushing her soft lips along the faint scar lining my cheek. I shivered under her touch, the attention she paid to the only remaining vestige of my altercation with James causing me to sigh. I struggled hard to contain my emotions as her finger traced a whisper soft line along the same path. Her hands and lips were so gentle and so loving, yet everywhere she touched me, my entire body came alive. She electrified me, made me feel like no other woman before ever had, and in that moment, the whole world slipped away. Nothing else mattered but the two of us. Reaching out, I slipped my hand around the back of her neck and guided her eager mouth to mine.

I kissed Bella gently at first, slowly moving my mouth against hers and savoring the soft, sexy sighs that escaped her lips. I took my time memorizing the sounds, each and every one of them significant to me, but I couldn't hold back for long. Emotions I'd held at bay for months now were fighting their way to the surface, and soon my lips were pulling and tugging at hers with increased urgency and desire. She met me kiss for kiss, holding back nothing as she gave into our shared need, and by the time we made it through my bedroom door, our hands were grasping, our bodies were grinding and our breathing was labored and quick.

Bella's hands tangled in the hair at the back of my head as we tumbled to the sheets, and I moaned as she pulled me closer, kissing her harder, intermittently nipping and licking her lips. Pulling back slightly, I dragged my mouth from hers, willing myself to slow down as I kissed along the line of her neck. I didn't want to rush this, so I did my best to take my time, gently laving my tongue over the tiny goose bumps that formed underneath my touch. Soon, Bella's breathing was ragged, matching mine pant for pant, and she pulled her hands from my hair, sensuously sliding them down my sides, squeezing and kneading as they skimmed along my body. My breath hitched as they settled on my thighs, pulling my body flush against hers.

It was hard... so fucking hard not to unbutton my pants, pull out my cock and push into Bella just then. I wanted her so badly, and her soft, sexy sounds were driving me to the edge of insanity. But I didn't want to lose this moment to lust, because that wasn't what this was. That was _never_ what this thing between us was. It was always something more, something stunning and beautiful and meaningful in my life, and I wanted, no… _needed_ Bella to know this. I needed her to know that this was it for me. As far as I was concerned, there could never be another woman in my life. I couldn't fathom feeling for another soul the intensity of what I felt for her. It would be impossible, because somehow, when I wasn't even looking, Bella had stolen my heart. She was everything I wanted, needed and desired, and I needed her to know that. With great effort, I drew my body back from hers, tenderly taking her face between my hands.

"You're everything to me," I murmured, rubbing her cheekbones gently with the pads of my thumbs, and it mattered not that I was putting everything out there, putting my heart on the line, because the simple words were spoken in honesty. She _was_ everything to me. Bella swallowed hard at my admittance, her eyes flitting between my lips and my eyes, and when she stared into them, returning my deep and penetrating gaze, I knew she felt the same. Her eyes, so wide, so deep and so expressive, told me so. They spoke to me in ways the rest of her never could.

Suddenly overcome by emotion, I leaned forward and touched my forehead to Bella's who sighed and placed her hand over top of my chest. She let it rest there for a moment, listening with her hand to the strong, solid sound of a heart that beat only for her. Slowly, her fingers crawled upwards, stopping to trace along the wet skin of my lower lip, and as I exhaled a deep and desirous sigh she captured it with her hand. I moaned in response, literally aching with need, and I couldn't hold back any longer. Tracing the soft curves of her concave waist, my fingers teased along the hem of her shirt, causing Bella to lift her arms without direction. I slipped her shirt up and over her head, afterwards reaching around behind her to undo the clasp of her bra. The straps slid down her creamy white shoulders until she was bare before me.

"Beautiful," I silently mouthed, shaking my head at the vision before me. I reached out and ghosted my finger in a single concentric circle around Bella's nipple, and she inhaled sharply. Her breathing was labored now, as ragged and needful as my own, and I watched in wonder as her chest rose and fell in rapid succession with her breaths. Slowly, I leaned forward, sucking a perfect, pert nipple into my mouth, groaning at the soft whimpers that fell from Bella's lips. She buried her hands in my hair, securing my face to her chest, and I licked and teased and suckled each of her breasts until my cock was so hard I worried I might come in my pants. Pulling away from her with a solitary, wanton sigh, I rested my hands on her thighs, wordlessly asking permission to remove her jeans. Bella stared down at me with fingers still knotted in my hair, quietly offering me her consent.

It didn't take long and her jeans and underwear lay by the foot of my bed. She was gorgeous lying there, completely bare, and she watched me closely as I pulled my shirt over my head and dragged my jeans down my thighs. Soon we lay naked together, side by side, Bella's hungry eyes traveling from my face to my chest and finally to my groin where she reached out, taking me in her hand and stroking me softly, exploring my body, all the while holding my eyes in an unwavering gaze. I moaned quietly at the feel of her touch, leaning forward and kissing softly down the exposed skin of her neck. My fingers skimmed up her outer thigh, tracing inward where I started touching her as she touched me, making her feel a million light years away in a universe that belonged only to us. Jesus, it felt so good being with Bella like that, and as her grip grew stronger, her breathing more ragged, I realized I was completely powerless before her. Bella had me; she had all of me, and I wanted all of her.

Rolling on top of her, I captured her lips in a heated kiss, gently rocking my hips forward and settling myself between her thighs. She was warm and wet and inviting, and we began a lover's dance, moving rhythmically against one another, sighing softly, kissing soundly and rubbing our bodies together so that we both felt good. Soon our kisses were punctuated by deep whimpers and moans, and I briefly lifted my body off of her long enough to roll a condom on before pressing my body back against hers. I hovered above her, my eyes holding hers as I slowly pushed inside, and when I was fully sheathed inside of her, she wound her hands tightly into my hair, slowly calling out my name…

_"Edward..." _

Her eyes locked with mine as I began to move, and I knew I could never look away. Every part of Bella called to me, a soulful siren's song, and even amidst the wordless silence that hung between us, I heard her. I heard her as clear as day because she was the only woman who had ever spoken to my heart. Our movements, finely orchestrated at first, were soon frantic and choppy, and with labored breathing, I knew we were both on the brink of orgasm. Reaching between us, I rubbed my thumb in tiny circles between Bella's legs, and moments later, her body exploded around me, gripping me, holding me, binding me to her in every way that mattered. Watching her face twist up in pleasure and need was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen, and I cried out as my own release overtook me, sending me plummeting over the blissful edge of orgasm.

A little while later, I lay satiated on my back, Bella snuggled tightly by my side. Night was just falling, but even though it was still early, I found myself drifting off to sleep. It wasn't hard to do. I held everything that was important to me tightly in my arms, and as I turned my head and brushed my lips across the top of Bella's head, I realized there was no longer any doubt in my mind.

I was falling in love with Bella Swan.

**Endnotes:**

Ugh. Sorry for the super late update. I really DO have 27 chapters pre-written, but the problem is they were pre-written as of a year ago! I'm changing some things around as I read back over what I've written, which means there may be times when there is more than a week between updates. Sorry about that.

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

**REC!**

Okay, so this rec is not for fanfic. Instead, I'm recommending another supernatural romance I fell in love with these past few weeks. It's a little on the angsty side. OK, a LOT on the angsty side, but the premise is unique and the hero gives Edward a run for his money. A well-paced and intriguing plot rounds this story out. Check it out on Amazon! It's a trilogy! _**Providence by Jamie McGuire. **_(Some of you may have already read her other popular romance, _**Beautiful Disaster**_. If not, this is a fairly good read as well).


	16. The Sound of Silence

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 16 - The Sound of Silence**

Silence has a sound, one that isn't distinguished by tones or waves, rather by vibrations that travel smoothly across skin, lending a soundtrack to the quiet of the night. It's the sensation of Bella's breath as it tickles my neck. It's the feel of her heart as it thumps rhythmically underneath my hand. It's the awareness of her lips as they brush gently against my skin and the feel of her lashes as they flutter against my cheek…

Bella lay beside me, her hand resting comfortably atop my heart.

_*I can hear you,*_ she signed, smiling against my chest. Her hand tapped lightly in time with the rhythm of my heart, and she giggled when her light kisses to my chest made it race with desire. I flipped her on her back, leaning in to kiss her softly.

"My heart races for you," I murmured.

Bella smiled softly up at me, her eyes, so vibrant and alive, holding mine in a tender gaze.

_*You make me so happy.* _

"You make me happy, too," I breathed, parting her legs with mine. I rubbed against her, relishing in her sighs as she weaved her hands into my hair and pulled my face close. She kissed me slowly, her tongue moving lazily against my own. I wanted to make love to her again, but we'd been together twice during the night, and I didn't want for her to be uncomfortable.

"How do you feel?" I asked, pulling away from her so that she could see me speak.

_*A little sore,*_ she admitted, though her hips continued to move in tandem with mine. I moved my hand seductively up and down her inner thigh, lowering my head to suckle at her nipple. Gradually, my hand moved upward until my thumb was rubbing tiny circles at the apex of her thighs. She squirmed beneath me, soft whimpers and sighs escaping her mouth as I brought her to orgasm. She returned the gesture, her hand on me as we lay on our sides. Afterwards, we showered together, and it was as if we'd done it a thousand times before. Everything with Bella was so natural, our lives having seamlessly blended together despite our notable differences. This just served to reinforce what I already knew to be true; Bella belonged in my life, and not just in a temporary way. I wanted her with me forever.

_I wish I didn't have to go to the hospital,_ I signed once we were dressed. We stood together in the middle of my room, and I sighed, lifting my hand to swish my thumb back and forth across Bella's cheek. I stifled a yawn with the other. We hadn't slept much during the night, and I was tired, but that wasn't why I didn't want to go to work. I didn't want to go to work because I wanted to spend every waking moment with Bella. I _craved_ togetherness with her, and it was such a new feeling for me to want someone in that way that I didn't want to let it go. I wasn't ready to give her up, not even for a few short hours.

_*It's not much fun being an adult sometimes,*_ she agreed. _*Too many obligations.*_

I grinned, pressing my forehead to hers.

_What are your plans for the day?_

_*Teacher planning, studying, the usual.*_

"Can I text you later?"

_*I'm counting on it,*_ she signed with a wink.

My hospital shift was fairly uneventful. I was currently assigned to the ER. Periodically, I was able to observe an interesting case, but mostly, I dealt with general, run of the mill situations. Broken bones, stitches, non-serious communicable and non-communicable diseases... the list went on and on. Normally, I was completely engaged in my activities but today my mind was elsewhere, focused solely on brown hair, brown eyes, smooth legs and a smile that caused my stomach to flip on end, even now, so many months later.

By the time I got off work, I couldn't think of anything other than seeing Bella, but I also knew that I needed to practice the piano. I was well aware of the importance of attending to all my responsibilities, so with a resigned sigh, I headed straight to campus. I texted Bella when I arrived, letting her know I was off work. She responded immediately.

***Where are you?***

**On campus. I need to practice for a couple hours. Do you want me to come by after?**

_Please say yes…_

***Can I meet you there instead?***

_What?_

My face lit up at Bella's unexpected request, excited at the prospect of playing for her. Even though music was such an important part of my life, Bella had never seen me play before. I wanted more than anything to share that part of my life with her, but I had to admit, up until now, I was reluctant to talk about it with her, her initial reaction to finding out I was majoring in music always lingering in the back of my mind. But things were different between us now. We knew each other much better, and more importantly, we were a couple. As much as I wanted to know Bella's world, I wanted her to know mine too.

I didn't have time to type out my response before my phone buzzed in my hand.

***I've never seen you play. I'm curious. ;)***

**Do you know where the SOM practice rooms are?**

** *No.***

** Why don't I meet you in the parking lot in 15?**

** *Sounds good!***

True to her word, Bella's age old truck rumbled into the lot fifteen minutes later. On a Saturday night at nine, the lot was practically empty, and Bella was able to park close by. She hopped down out of her cab, her backpack slung over her shoulder and her hair wrapped up in a loose bun. Walking up to her, I tugged her hair free, letting it fall freely about her shoulders.

Better… much better. Bella was always gorgeous to me, but she was particularly beautiful with her hair down.

"I missed you," I breathed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her lips. I wound my hands into her hair, and she pulled me closer, sighing as my lips moved softly against hers. I deepened the kiss, never able to get enough of her, wanting to stand there kissing her in the parking lot the whole night through, but eventually, I had to pull away. I didn't have a choice. If we kept this up, there'd be no practicing the piano tonight, and as much as I wished otherwise, this wasn't something I could afford to do. Placing one final kiss to her lips, I skimmed my hands down the length of her arms, taking her hand in mine and leading her in the direction of the practice rooms.

Once inside, Bella set her bag down on the floor, waiting while I took my seat at the baby grand. Scooting to the far end of the bench, I patted the seat beside me, inviting her to sit with me, but she shook her head no, moving to the side of the piano instead.

_*Help me up?*_ she asked, and I stared at her for a moment before moving to her side. Placing my hands on her waist, I hoisted her up to sit on the edge, and I couldn't resist leaning in for a quick kiss. Bella took full advantage, her hands finding their way into my hair as her legs locked around my waist. Soon I was kissing her back with equal fervor, all obligations temporarily forgotten as I lost myself in her. It was impossible not to. She felt so good pressed up against me, warm and soft and mine, but when my mind started to wander, to thoughts of her laid out before me, naked and wanting on the piano, I abruptly pulled away. Chest heaving, heart racing and mind full of nothing but Bella, I rested my forehead against hers.

"We have to stop," I breathed, hating myself for speaking such words.

_*Sorry,*_ she signed, flushed and shy and so goddamn gorgeous.

"I'm not." I kissed her lips again, pulling her lower lip between my teeth. "You're the best type of distraction."

Bella giggled before asking me if it was okay for her to sit on top of the piano. She said she liked to feel the vibrations, and I shrugged, not really seeing a problem with it. She weighed all of 120 pounds, and besides, lounge singers propped themselves up on pianos all the time. Situating herself cross-legged in the center, she waited for me to take my seat.

_Any requests?_ I signed once I was settled on the bench before her.

_*Do you know Clocks?*_

I nodded, somewhat surprised by Bella's request. But when I took a moment to think about it, I really shouldn't have been. It was unlikely that she would be familiar with Classical music. Not that she wouldn't know who Bach or Mozart were, but she likely wouldn't have a favorite song. She was, however, familiar with Clocks. I vividly remembered dancing to it with her at _Technique_. She seemed to have a fondness for it, and I wondered absently if it had to do with something more than just the driving base.

Bella smiled at me, spreading her hands out in front of her and waiting for me to begin. From the very moment my fingers touched the keys, her wide brown eyes held mine in a steady, burning gaze. She watched me intently as I played, almost as if she was deconstructing my thoughts, turning them over in her head in an attempt to understand my connection the music. I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel self-conscious; playing the piano while looking directly into the eyes of another wasn't something I was used to. But I couldn't have looked away even if I had wanted to. I knew that this intimate contact was necessary for Bella, allowing her the opportunity to listen to the music the only way she knew how, by experiencing it through me. Every now and then, her gaze would fall to my fingers, watching in wonder as they traveled fluidly over the keys, but mostly, she just watched me.

Without even thinking, I started singing along to the music, serenading the dark-haired beauty before me. Bella's eyes lit with delight, dropping to my lips as a wistful smile spread across her face. She watched me sing, her gaze lingering on my mouth, and I wondered what she was thinking. As I approached the final verse, she closed her eyes, brows pulled tight in concentration, and whether she was focusing on the words or the vibrations of the music snaking their way through the wood, I couldn't really say. It didn't matter, I supposed. What mattered was sharing who I was with Bella. Music was one half of my soul, Bella arguably the other. For these two worlds to so seamlessly coincide was more meaningful to me than words could express.

As the song drew to a close my fingers slid from the keys. Unable to keep from touching Bella any longer, I stood up, moving to the side of the piano and tugging her close to me. Gripping her calves in my hands, I wrapped her legs around me, securing her against my body while gazing on at her in wonder.

"You _heard_ me," I breathed, profoundly moved by the moment we'd just shared.

Bella nodded slowly in agreement, pulling her hands between us.

_*With these,*_ she signed, gently shaking them in front of me. _*And these,*_ she added, pointing to her eyes. _*And with this,*_ she finally signed, placing her hand directly over her heart. _*It was beautiful. Thank you.*_

She had heard me. Bella had _heard_ me. Silence really did have a sound.

"Why Clocks?" I asked, my gaze burning into hers. I was hungry for an answer, but much to my surprise, Bella's eyes grew suddenly guarded. She promptly looked away, and my pulse quickened with anxiety, only to steady moments later when she turned to face me again. Her brown eyes rose to meet mine, still cautious, yet at the same time open and honest, telling me she was willing to share what she was thinking. Knowing that put my mind at ease.

_*Could you get my iPad?*_ she asked, and I nodded, gently pulling her legs from my waist. I fished her iPad out of her bag before returning to where she sat on the piano, wrapping her legs back around me. I liked to feel close to Bella like this; I liked having her body wound up with mine. It made me feel satisfied and complete, as if somehow my life was brought into balance simply by touching her. Taking the iPad from where I had rested it on the piano beside her, Bella propped it up in her lap and began to type.

***Do you ever feel like you try so hard to make something work, but despite your best efforts, you never succeed?***

True to form, Bella's answer to my question was hardly what I expected. In fact, it wasn't an answer at all; it was another question, and a rhetorical one at that. I looked to her, confused, but she just offered me a small smile, reaching out to trail her fingers down the side of my cheek before signing, _*Humor me?*_

I quietly nodded and she continued.

** *Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a thin line, Green Eyes, like I'm hovering between one world and another. It's hard for me. It's hard to feel pushed in one direction and pulled in another. Regardless of the path I choose, there are consequences.* **

Bella appeared lost in thought as she typed, almost as if she was speaking to someone other than me. A rueful expression settled on her face, and I furrowed my brows, not entirely understanding what she was trying to say. Her words were somewhat cryptic, suggesting there might be something more, simmering beneath the surface, but I wasn't sure she wanted to go there. I hadn't realized my simple question would elicit such a complicated response…

"Go on," I gently encouraged when Bella appeared apprehensive about continuing. I took her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and kissing each one of her knuckles before setting them back in her lap. She smiled appreciatively at me, my gesture seeming to give her the confidence she needed to proceed.

***Sometimes I wonder how much easier my life would be if I could hear, Green Eyes. I don't like to admit that because it makes me feel ashamed. I'm proud of the person that I am. I'm proud to be deaf. I have never been embarrassed by my disability, but I **_**curse**_** missed opportunities. I curse my inability to hear with my ears, to use them as nature intended. I **_**curse**_** my inability to lead a more normal life. Generally, these feelings of regret aren't so pronounced, but sometimes, when I'm with you, I can't help but feel a little sad. It makes me sad that I can't hear you play the piano with my own two ears. It makes me sad that together we face obstacles most normal couples never will. And I wonder, am I part of the cure? Can I make this relationship with you work? Or am I part of the disease? Is it doomed from the start because of who I am?***

_Come out upon my seas_

_Cursed missed opportunities_

_Am I part of the cure?_

_Or am I part of the disease?_

And there it was... the final verse from Clocks, the one that Bella had considered so thoughtfully while *listening* to me play. My heart broke at her achingly honest admission, but while I understood her interpretation of the song, I didn't understand where all of this was coming from. Moments before, Bella had seemed fine, happy even to *hear* me play. But now she appeared vulnerable and uncertain about our relationship. This caused the breath to catch in the back of my throat and worry to crease my brows. My heart momentarily constricted in my chest as I carefully considered what to say.

"Bella, are you… are you having second thoughts?" I finally managed to ask, swallowing back my fear while at the same time preparing myself for the worst. I breathed a deep sigh of relief when she shook her head vehemently _no_.

_*Are you?*_ she timidly signed, and she was so vulnerable in that moment that I wanted nothing more than to fold her into my arms and hold her close.

"Never," I whispered, leaning in to press my forehead against hers. I sealed my declaration with a gentle kiss and Bella sighed, her arms skimming passed my chest and over my shoulders, clinging to my neck. Pulling her closer, I kissed her again, this time more deeply, slowly stroking her tongue with mine as I desperately tried to reassure her that she was the most important thing in the world to me.

_*I'm sorry,*_ she signed when we finally pulled apart, her face clouding over with regret. _*Sometimes I just get preoccupied by our differences.* _

_I understand, but why not focus on our similarities instead? As far as I'm concerned, we're alike in all the ways that count._

Bella considered this, and soon, a small smile was working to upend her frown.

_*We are?* _she wondered, nervously worrying her lower lip.

_We are_, I assured her, peppering tiny kisses about her face and causing her to giggle softly. _We like spending time together. We make each other laugh. We support each other. But most importantly, we make each other happy. Isn't that what matters most?_

I held my breath, waiting for Bella's answer, and it came in the form of a wide and glorious grin.

_*It is,*_ she agreed, and just like that, things returned to normal.

For the rest of the week, Bella and I developed a new routine. It seemed she enjoyed *listening* to me play, so instead of spending time together at her apartment in the evenings, she met me at school, in the practice rooms, where she stretched out across the top of the piano, doing her homework while I practiced. I realized it was a bit unorthodox, but I liked having her there with me. I could play for hours with her as my single source of inspiration. I just made sure to choose out of the way practice rooms, where no one was likely to bother us.

Before I knew it, it was Friday again, and I sat in Sign Language class, helping Jessica study for Monday's exam. Bella had assigned us a free period, encouraging us to work together in pairs to review for the test. She was currently moving about the room, providing assistance to those that needed it, but as much as I wanted her to "assist" me, that wasn't likely to happen. To be fair, I didn't really need any extra help. I was 100% confident I would ace the exam, and if Jessica would stop making frivolous conversation, I could help her to do well too.

I flipped through the pages of our text, suggesting to her that we begin by reviewing emotions before progressing onto giving directions. Jessica shrugged, not seeming to care what we studied, and I inwardly sighed. It would have been nice to have been partnered up with someone who was more interested in what we were learning, but ever since she had sat by me in the beginning of the semester, Jessica and I had been paired up for virtually every group exercise. It seemed everybody always found someone else to work with, and it didn't help that she stuck to me like glue. I didn't like this, but short of telling her to leave me the hell alone, which seemed a little extreme, there wasn't much I could do about it.

"So, tell me. Is it just me, or is Isabella really touchy feely with men?"

"Excuse me?" I said.

Surprised by her unexpected comment, I looked up in Jessica's direction, watching her motion over her shoulder to where Bella stood, helping an underclassman sign the word "angry". The boy was having trouble manipulating his hands, insisting on keeping his fingers extended outward when they should have taken on the shape of a claw.

I rolled my eyes.

"It's easier for her to physically position someone's hands than it is for her to explain what they're doing wrong," I pointed out, annoyed by her ridiculous question, but Jessica wasn't satisfied with my explanation.

"Why couldn't she just demonstrate it for him? Why does she have to touch him?" she wondered.

"Because that's what some people need," I stated as calmly as possible, doing my best not to let my aggravation show. "Not everyone has an easy time signing. Their hands don't necessarily want to do what their brains ask them to. It's Isabella's job to help them learn how. She _is_ our teacher, you know."

"I guess," Jessica replied offhandedly with a dismissive shrug. She was quiet for a moment before adding, "It just seems like she does it on purpose. She's awfully flirtatious…"

"No, she's not," I interrupted, not liking the direction this conversation was taking.

"Well I think she is."

And I'd had enough.

"What's your problem?" I demanded, turning in her direction and fixing her with a steely gaze. I realized my composure was quickly crumbling, but Jessica's comment… what she was obviously insinuating, really pissed me off. Still, I knew that I couldn't afford to lose my cool. Overreacting had gotten me into trouble once before, and I didn't want to go there again.

"Nothing – jeez, take it easy, Edward," she muttered in response to my terse tone of voice. "Why are you getting so upset?"

"Look," I said, taking a deep breath and scrubbing my face with my hands. "Can we please just review for the exam?" It wasn't worth my effort to point out how insulting Jessica's comments were, so I didn't even bother. She wasn't the type to listen or care.

She studied me for a moment before shrugging and saying, "Whatever." And with that, she turned her attention to what she should have been focused on all along – studying, and I sighed in relief, grateful that she had decided to let it go. I honestly thought we had put the entire event behind us. We studied quietly for the remainder of the period without any other mention of Bella. But when Jessica turned to me as we were packing up to leave, I knew something was up.

"It's funny you don't notice it," she said, her eyes holding mine in an uncomfortable gaze.

"Notice what?" I asked with a sigh, even though there was no need to.

"Isabella's obvious interest in you."

_What?_

"Jessica," I warned, trying to appear unaffected by her response when really it had thrown me. What the hell was going on here, anyway? Had she somehow figured out that Bella and I were dating? Was she now trying to bait me into an admission? If so, I certainly wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"No, really. I'm being serious," she continued. "She watches you. Did you know that?"

Before I had a chance to respond, she leaned into me, whispering, "Maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty sure she has a crush on you." She backed away from me then, adding, "She's spent half the class looking in our direction."

I swallowed thickly, disconcerted by Jessica's comments. Were they the product of casual observation or something more? Whatever the case, I couldn't let my unease show. That would only serve to make her suspicious.

"She's probably just checking to make sure we don't need any help," I offered as casually as possible, but even to me, my excuse sounded weak. It came as no surprise that Jessica didn't accept it.

"Please," she scoffed. "You're like Wonder Boy when it comes to Sign. You're the last person in this class who needs help."

"I think you're reading too much into this."

I shook my head, hoping to God Jessica would just let it drop, because honestly, I wasn't sure how much more of this discussion I could take. I really hated not being able to own my relationship with Bella. I knew that Shelly preferred we keep it to ourselves until the end of the semester, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if we didn't. We could certainly avoid the type of uncomfortable situation I found myself in now.

"It would make sense if she did... like you, that is," Jessica said, pulling me from my thoughts, and I realized with regret that despite my wishes, there was no way she was going to let this go.

"I mean, think about it," she continued. "You're young, obviously good looking, and you're entering med school in the fall. She could do worse..."

"Jessica," I warned again, my entire body tensing at her words. There was no doubt about it; I was reaching my breaking point.

"I'm just saying..." she laughed, apparently not noticing that I wasn't laughing along with her, "you'd be a sure thing for her. I mean, it must be kind of hard for a deaf person to make any sort of a decent living…"

"Enough!" I finally hissed, trying hard to keep my voice to a forced whisper. I didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to our conversation, but Jessica had stepped over the line for the final time. I could handle a lot of things, but I would not stand by and let someone continually make offensive comments about Bella.

"Edward?" Jessica asked, bewildered by my intense reaction, but I didn't respond. I was too wound up, the desire to defend and protect Bella so strong that I had to slam my eyes shut, reminding myself that I couldn't fuck this up. I couldn't lose control. I couldn't make the same mistake twice.

Suddenly, an idea came to me.

"You do realize that Isabella is working towards her Master's, don't you? That makes her one step ahead of us."

Fight ignorance with education. Bella would be proud.

Jessica narrowed her eyes at me, a smile cracking her face.

"God, why are you always so serious?" she laughed, and I stared at her in disbelief, stunned by her abrupt change in demeanor. "I was just joking, Edward," she continued with a roll of her eyes. "Although I do think she's interested in you. Maybe she likes your enthusiasm." Jessica winked at me then, moving to gather her things from the floor. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you on Monday. Have fun this weekend."

_Talk about whiplash..._

I didn't know what to say in response, so I didn't say anything at all. Instead, I watched her leave, wondering what in the hell had just happened but thankful that I didn't have to deal with her anymore.

"The nerve of that girl," I complained later that evening. Bella and I were sitting across from each other on the couch, eating pizza and occasionally glancing at the television as I recounted what happened with Jessica earlier in the day. Our legs lay tangled together beneath a blanket, and while I would have preferred to have been holding Bella in my arms, it kind of restricted our ability to communicate.

Bella laughed, rolling her eyes.

_*She's ridiculous, Edward. Don't let her get to you. As long as she doesn't try and touch you again, I don't have any problem with her.* _she signed, obviously referring to our first day in class when Jessica had had a hard time keeping her hands to herself. I shook my head at the memory. To think that she had accused Bella of being flirtatious; talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

_You didn't like that, huh? _I asked, grinning when Bella frowned.

_*No,*_ she signed, feigning annoyance, but the tiny smile pulling at her lips told a different story.

_ Are we jealous? _ I teased, pushing to try and get a reaction out of her. I poked her with my foot.

_ *What would I have to be jealous of?*_ she wondered, grinning at me and jabbing me right back. I set my pizza on the table then, crawling towards Bella until I was practically on top of her, pinning her down with my weight.

"Absolutely nothing," I breathed against her lips, smirking when the breath caught in the back of her throat. I kissed her thoroughly before sighing and pulling away. Try as I might, I just couldn't get Jessica's comments out of my mind.

_This is going to be harder than I thought_, I signed while leaning back against the arm of the couch. Bella pouted at me, obviously frustrated by my retreat.

_*What is?*_ she asked.

Sensing I was out of sorts, she grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

_I just wish people would think before they speak. They can be so insensitive…_

Bella snorted, shaking her head at me in amusement.

_*You're just now learning this?*_ she teased.

I poked her with my foot again.

_I'm trying to be serious,_ I signed, though I was having a hard time suppressing a smile.

It was Bella who crawled across the couch to me this time.

_*I know you are,*_ she signed before leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose. _ *And you're adorable when you try and defend me. But, Green Eyes? I don't want to talk anymore.*_

"Oh no?" I said, arching my brows. Bella bit down on her lower lip, shaking her head _no_.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, my breathing already growing ragged. Bella answered my question with a kiss, flattening her body against mine.

And we were done talking for the rest of the night.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

**Rec:  The Fantasy Basket by JenEsme. ** **Summary:** What happens after the happily ever after? This is the story of two women, two generations, two marriages, both on the brink of breakdown. It follows Bella who is struggling with the throes of new parenthood, a new house, and a new attitude from her once-attentive husband who is now more focused on his job and his image than his wife, and Esme, who lived through much of the same 20 years ago. Can Esme's advice about commitment, communication, and (gulp) sex help Bella save her marriage, or will she be written off as a meddling mother-in-law?

The prologue to this story just posted. Chapter 1 will post tomorrow. It is a lovely story written by an even lovlier woman. Check it out!


	17. Baptism by Fire

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 17 - Baptism by Fire **

"I can't tell you how ready I am to get out of here," Alice said into the phone. "Another fucking blizzard! Can you believe it? It's almost April and I'm still shoveling snow!" she complained, though I knew she didn't really mind.

She had killer arms, thanks in part to cruel Chicago winters. We used to shovel snow together when we were younger, earning enough money to go to the movies on the weekends. These days, Alice's expectations were a little bit higher – like a plane ticket to Florida for Spring Break. Luckily, my parents were all too willing to send her away for a week. This afforded them the opportunity to take a vacation of their own.

"I can assure you, you won't see any snow here. The weather's been really nice, actually. Bella and I are looking forward to taking you to the beach."

Alice sighed, a particular type of sigh I knew all too well. It was a dreamy sort of sigh, one she reserved for Jasper and any talk of romance. She was such a girl.

"It's so nice to hear you say Bella and I," she said. "It makes it sound like you're a couple."

"We are," I pointed out, laughing at Alice's silliness.

"I know, but when you talk like that, it makes it sound serious. I like that."

"I like it too," I quietly agreed.

Cue the sigh… and there it was. Alice always was so easy to please.

"Well, I'm super anxious to meet her. I can't believe I have to wait another week. I wish I was down there now."

"Bella's looking forward to meeting you too. With any luck, she'll be able to come to the airport with me to pick you up."

"That sounds awesome, Edward."

I glanced down at my watch and sighed when I noticed the time. It was after nine, and I had to be at the hospital in an hour.

"Listen, Short Stuff, I've gotta run. Be sure to send me your itinerary, and I'll see you next Friday, okay?"

"Okay, Big Bro. Is there anything you want me to bring from home?"

"Just yourself."

"Done deal."

Hanging up the phone, I headed out into the living room, deciding to grab a quick bite to eat before going to the hospital. Much to my surprise, Emmett was awake, a rare occurrence so early on a Saturday morning.

"Hey," I greeted him on my way to the kitchen.

"Hey, Bro. What are you doing here?"

"Excuse me?" I laughed. "I do live here, you know."

"Yeah, sorry," Emmett chuckled. "I just thought you would have spent the night at Bella's last night, that's all. Isn't that sort of your thing these days? Pizza and a movie on Friday night?"

"Jesus, am I that predictable?" I half mumbled - half laughed, shaking my head at the picture of domesticity that Emmett had painted.

"Well... yeah. As a matter of fact, you are," he teased. "When's the last time you went out anywhere, anyway?"

"Not since my run in with James," I admitted with a sigh. "But in my defense, this semester is kicking my ass. I don't have much time these days."

"I know what you mean. I've had to step up my game too."

Reaching into the freezer, I grabbed a box of Toaster Strudels, selecting a strawberry flavored one before popping it into the toaster.

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" Emmett asked as I poured a glass of orange juice.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"We don't really have any plans. Bella's been meeting me on campus lately. She keeps me company while I practice piano."

Emmett smirked.

"I'll be she does," he said, waggling his brows.

"Shut the fuck up," I replied, rolling my eyes and laughing at him at the same time.

Emmett's mind was always in the gutter, but I would be lying if I said mine wasn't too every time that Bella crawled on top of the piano. Jesus, it was such a turn on for me. She had no conception how sexy she was, perched up there on her stomach, chin resting comfortably atop her neatly folded hands. She always watched me as if I were the most amazing thing in the world to her.

I knew _exactly_ how she felt.

"Hey, what about having a BBQ?"

Emmett's question pulled me from my thoughts, and I cast a quizzical glance in his direction.

"What... tonight?"

"Why not?" he shrugged. "Seems as good a time as any to me. Besides, we haven't really had a chance to hang out together in awhile. I'll invite the girls… maybe some others from here in the complex. What do you think?"

"I'm not sure," I began slowly, not really knowing what to say.

In truth, I wasn't sure how Bella would feel about this. For whatever, reason, we hadn't spent a lot of time hanging out with each other's friends. To be honest, we hadn't done it at all. It wasn't that I didn't want to. I was actually truly interested in meeting Bella's friends, but between school and volunteering, I had little time left to socialize. The same held true for Bella. She was just as busy as me.

"Can I let you know?" I asked, not wanting to totally dismiss Emmett's suggestion but knowing I should speak with Bella first. "I had to pick up a shift at the hospital last night, so Bella went out with some friends. She got in late, and I don't want to call her just yet."

"No problem," Emmett reassured me. "I think I'm going to plan on it, even if you can't come. It's been awhile since we've cooked out; I don't want people thinking we've turned into responsible pussies or anything like that. We have a reputation to uphold, after all."

I laughed out loud at Emmett's comment. It's not as if our apartment was ever party central, but I had to admit, it _had_ been awhile since it had seen some action.

"All right," I said, chasing down the last of my breakfast with a swig of juice. "I'll give you a call later, okay?"

Emmett nodded, and with that, I grabbed my bag from the floor by the door and headed to the hospital.

I waited until lunch time to call Bella. It was difficult for me to wait so long, but I wanted to let her sleep in, knowing she probably needed it after last night. Besides, I thought that at least one of us should enjoy a leisurely Saturday morning at home.

She answered after the first ring.

***Hey, Green Eyes. How are you?***

I was using the hospital's TDD*, which made communication with Bella so much easier. Texting was great and all, but I already felt like I had carpal tunnel in my thumbs; I much preferred utilizing the larger keyboard the TDD afforded me.

**I'm good. Did you sleep well?**

***I did. Thanks. I didn't get in until after 2 a.m., so I was tired.***

**I know. You drunk texted me. Some pretty explicit stuff...**

There was a short pause before Bella's response came over the TDD, and I wished to God I could see her face. Knowing her, she was blushing.

***I did not...***

**If you say so...**

***Green Eyes, you're making me nervous...***

I chuckled softly. It was fun throwing Bella off of her game. She could be so gullible, and I wasn't above taking advantage of that. All in the name of fun, of course.

**If I were you, I think I'd be nervous too...**

Another pause.

***Oh, God. What did I say?***

It was me that paused this time around. For effect and all.

***Green Eyes?***

**Well, you may have mentioned certain fantasies of yours. Naughty teacher/student fantasies, to be exact.**

Yet another pause and I was grinning from ear to ear.

***You're teasing me...***

**Maybe...**

***Green Eyes! You do realize you're going to pay for this later tonight.***

I laughed out loud, imaging Bella chastising me firmly for my transgressions. She'd crack a smile though; I was sure of it. It took a lot more than a little teasing to ruffle her feathers.

**Oh, I'm counting on it. But that's **_**after**_** you come to a BBQ with me.**

***BBQ? What BBQ?***

I nervously tapped my fingers beside the keyboard before responding.

**The one that Emmett's throwing. He was hoping that we'd come…**

There was another pause, one that was admittedly more nerve wracking than the ones prior, and I worried that I should have spoken to Bella about this in person. I had no idea how she was going to react, and I couldn't help but wonder if hanging out with my friends would make her feel uncomfortable. But was Alice was coming in a week, and we'd definitely be hanging out with them then, so I figured it was better for Bella to have a chance to get to know everybody beforehand, even if it was in a large group setting.

That's what I told myself, anyway.

More time slipped by, and I was beginning to wonder if I shouldn't retract my request when Bella's response came across the screen.

***Sure. That sounds fine.***

_Fine_.

It wasn't exactly the enthusiastic response I was hoping for, but it was better than being turned down. I did wonder whether or not Bella really wanted to go or if she was just doing it for me, but I didn't press the issue. I didn't want to push my luck.

Bella agreed to meet me at my apartment at quarter past eight that night. I offered to pick her up after my shift was over, but she said it wasn't necessary. This worked in my favor. As it was, I would already be late. Thankfully, Nurse Turner cut me some slack. She let me go a half hour early, which came in handy when Emmett called, asking if I could pick up a case of beer on the way home.

When I arrived home, the apartment was packed with people, the BBQ already in full swing. I quickly showered and had just stepped out of the bathroom when when my neighbor, Eric, a junior at USF, yelled through the house.

"Hey, Emmett! Some mute girl is standing at the door!"

"Jesus Christ," I muttered to myself as I pushed past a group of girls standing in my way. Eric passed me at the same time, and I threw my hands up in the air in question.

"What the fuck, man!"

"What!" he challenged back, in my own fucking apartment, and if it wasn't for the fact that Bella was standing at the front door, I would have thrown his ass out.

"That's my girlfriend, asshole!" I yelled after him.

Eric's face registered genuine shock, and not the type of shock associated with shame. It was the type of shock that told me he couldn't believe I was dating a girl who was deaf. This only served to piss me off even more, but I didn't have time to bother with him right now. He wasn't worth the effort, anyway.

Emmett and I arrived at the front door at the same time. He mouthed "sorry" to me, but I wasn't upset with him. It wasn't his fault Eric was a dick. Bella was standing there, looking a little confused, and I immediately pulled her into my arms. She hugged me back, standing on her tip toes to kiss my neck while running her fingers through my hair.

_*Your hair is wet,*_ she noted.

_Yeah. I needed a shower._

I bent to kiss Bella on the lips and she smiled up at me.

_*I missed you,*_ she signed, causing my heat to stutter in my chest.

Crazy what three little words could do.

_I missed you too. Come inside._

I took Bella by the hand, noting how tightly she gripped mine as I led her indoors. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, reassuring her that I was right there by her side. There was nothing for her to be nervous about.

_You want something to drink?_ I asked, pausing in the kitchen where Emmett had set up a makeshift bar on the countertop.

_*A little liquid courage?*_ Bella teased, finger-spelling her words.

Though she'd obviously meant it as a joke, her anxious eyes gave her worry away, and I wondered just how nervous she actually was. With the exception of Emmett and Rose, Bella wouldn't know anyone here, and it's not as if her and Rose had hit it off. Then there was the small matter of Tanya…

_Are you okay?_ I asked, pausing to slip my hand under the hem of her shirt. I gently rubbed the soft skin on the small of her back, and a lazy smile settled across her face.

_*I will be, as long as you keep doing that.*_

I squeezed Bella's waist, bending to kiss the top of her head.

"I've got your back," I murmured before letting her go, just for a moment, so I could mix her a drink.

Afterward, I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and we headed into the living room. Someone had turned the music up, and it was loud… really loud, causing me to wince as we walked by the speakers. I spent so much time with Bella now that I was unaccustomed to this type of noise. She must have noticed my reaction because she tugged on my hand, smiling knowingly up at me. I shrugged my shoulders and she rested her head on my arm, sighing and holding me close.

I spotted another one of our neighbors, Tyler, a Philosophy major at USF, mingling with some people outdoors, I decided to head in his direction. Anything was better than being inside, struggling just to hear myself think, and I thought that he would be the perfect person to introduce Bella to first.

"Hey, Tyler," I said, patting him on lightly on the shoulder as we approached him from behind. He turned in our direction, beer in hand, smiling at us in greeting.

"Hey, Edward, long time no see! Great party, by the way."

I thanked Tyler before introducing him to Bella.

"Tyler, this is my girlfriend, Bella," I said, speaking and signing at the same time. He looked slightly surprised when my hands started moving in front of me, but to his credit, he didn't stare. He was the type of guy that took everything in stride. Reaching out, he took Bella's hand in his, shaking it firmly while saying hello.

Bella smiled brightly at him in return.

_*Nice to meet you, Tyler. How do you know Edward?*_

I translated for Tyler while Bella signed, ignoring the temptation to answer her question myself. It would have been easier than translating, but it also would have been rude.

"We're neighbors, actually. I live just across the way. I'm more or less a regular at their..."

Tyler paused mid-sentence.

"Aren't you going to translate?" he wondered. I went on to explain that as long as he spoke slowly and addressed Bella directly, she could read his lips.

Just then, I felt a gentle tug at my sleeve. I turned to look at Bella, and when I met her questioning gaze, I realized that I'd inadvertently positioned my body away from hers and she had no idea what Tyler and I had just said. I apologized to her, embarrassed by my gaffe, and proceeded to translate our conversation. I acted as a go between for several more minutes before the conversation fell flat. I was a little disappointed, but it was okay. I was just happy that Tyler had made an effort to make Bella feel welcome.

For the next half hour or so, while Emmett single handedly took on the duty of grilling chicken, Bella and I made our way through the crowd. I knew most of the people there, but there were also a lot of people I didn't know that had decided to show up. I supposed it was par for the course at college parties, and I didn't really mind, but it did make it more difficult to try and carry on a conversation, especially when several people started talking at once. Bella did her best to read lips, and I did my best to keep up with the necessary translations, but soon I found I could barely think straight, and I'd only had two beers. I realized I wouldn't be able to drink any more if I had any hopes of translating for Bella. She must have felt the same, because she never asked for another drink after her initial amaretto sour.

_Do you want to go back outside for a bit?_

Bella and I were currently hanging out in the living room, where the music had thankfully been turned down, but it was getting a little stuffy. I felt as if I could hardly breathe, and with every moment that passed us by, I regretted agreeing to this BBQ more and more. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy hanging out with my friends, because I did, and I was happy to have the opportunity to introduce Bella, but this casual BBQ had turned into a neighborhood event.

Bella nodded in response to my question, and I took her hand in mine, leading her through the thick crowd to the back of the apartment where we slipped through the sliding glass door. No sooner had we stepped outside than Tanya and Rose rounded the corner. They must have just arrived, because this was our first time seeing them tonight.

Whether or not it should have been, it was awkward for me to introduce Bella to Tanya. Bella knew everything about Tanya's one time interest in me, but this was the first time the two of them had actually had the chance to meet. For some reason, this made me nervous. Thankfully, it was a gracious exchange. Even Rose made an effort to make light conversation.

Unfortunately, like most everyone else, Rose and Tanya tended to angle their bodies away from Bella when they talked, practically ignoring her while directly addressing me. I knew it wasn't on purpose; people just didn't realize they were excluding Bella that way. I did my best to include her in every conversation, but tonight had demonstrated to me just how far I still had to go before I could consider myself fluent in sign.

This bothered me more than I cared to admit. I had honestly thought I was doing so well, progressing much faster than I could have ever imagined, but I realized with a sigh that it was one thing to sign with just Bella and me and another thing entirely to sign in a group. When Bella and I were alone, I could take my time, and Bella was always there to help me. But standing there in the middle of a group, we weren't afforded this same luxury. Conversation moved too fast for that.

"Rose told me what happened," Tanya said when we'd all been standing outside together for a few minutes. There was a lull in the conversation, and she turned to me, eyeing my cheek thoughtfully. There was tenderness to her gaze that hinted at her one time crush, and I averted my eyes, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. "James is a real jerk."

At the mention of James' name, my whole body tensed, and I reached down beside me, gripping Bella's hand tightly in mine. She looked up at me in question, and I realized she hadn't caught Tanya's comment, so I translated for her. She offered me a sympathetic smile in return, squeezing my hand back.

"Emmett says that he's dating one of your sorority sisters," I commented, just then remembering the conversation we'd had several months back.

"He is," Tanya confirmed. "Her name's Victoria. She's a real sweetheart. I'm not really sure why she's with him."

"Guess some girls are just attracted to assholes," I mumbled.

"Yeah, but you know, the good ones are a dime a dozen these days," she replied before realizing what she'd said and shyly looking away. I swallowed hard, feeling a shift in the mood surrounding us. Things were starting to feel awkward again, and I didn't like it. As my eyes traveled from Bella to Tanya and Rose, it was clear they all felt the same.

"Well, be careful around him," I warned in an awkward attempt to conclude the conversation. I didn't want to be rude, but I figured it was probably time for Bella and me to move on. Tanya smiled softly up at me, her eyes holding mine for a beat too long before she slowly nodded her head.

"I will, Edward," she said. She turned to Bella then, very graciously telling her it was nice to have finally met her. Bella returned the sentiment, watching after them as both Tanya and Rose disappeared into the crowd.

_*She seems to really care for you,*_ Bella noted absently once they were no longer in sight.

She was very perceptive, so of course she had noticed the way that Tanya had looked at me. I'd honestly thought that Tanya was past this, but now I wasn't so sure. Thankfully, Bella didn't appear to be upset. Her comment had simply been an observation.

_ She's a good person. We don't really see each other that much anymore, but I wish her well. I wouldn't want her to get caught up in any of James' games, _I signed, feeling like I needed to explain my concern for her.

Bella nodded quietly in understanding, but when she looked away from me, I sensed something was wrong. Reaching out, I placed two fingers under her chin, gently guiding her head back in my direction.

"Hey," I murmured, holding her eyes with mine. She tried to look away again, but I wouldn't let her.

_You know there's nothing there, right? Tanya and I are just friends. That's all._

_*I know,*_ she signed, pausing before adding, *_I also know that I'm a lucky girl.*_

Bella smiled up at me then, but there was a wistfulness there that tugged at my heart.

"I think I'm the lucky one," I murmured, bending down to softly kiss her lips. She kissed me back, but not in the same way I was used to. I didn't dwell on it though. Tonight had been a stretch for the both of us, and I knew we were both tired.

It was close to midnight when Emmett kicked the last person out, and I couldn't believe how exhausted I was, not just physically but mentally too. My mind was shot, and I wanted nothing more than to decompress. Taking a seat on the couch, I pulled Bella into my lap and pressed my face into her side. She kissed the top of my head, settling back against me as I reached for the remote. I turned on the TV, and without even giving it a second thought brought up the subtitles so that Bella could watch too. It was second nature to me now, and while I'd found them distracting at first, I was used to them by now.

The four of us watched TV for a little while, some nameless comedy that wasn't really all that funny, but soon Bella was yawning and shifting around in my lap.

Turning to face me, she signed, _*It's late. I should probably be going.*_

Her words caught me off guard.

_Why don't you stay?_ I asked, disappointed that she wanted to leave. _If you're tired, we could just go to bed._

Bella pushed her hand though my hair before kissing me softly.

_*Not tonight,* _she signed when she pulled away._ *Maybe tomorrow.*_

_Maybe tomorrow…_

I didn't like the sound of that. But while I wanted to protest, telling her that I didn't want to sleep alone, I somehow got the feeling it would be best not to push. Bella looked tired. In fact, she looked really tired, and truthfully, so was I. I had to be at the hospital first thing in the morning, so maybe it was better that we spent the night apart.

_Are you sure you won't stay?_ I asked one last time when Bella and I were standing out by her car. She sighed, shaking her head _no_.

_*I'm tired. I think I need to sleep in my own bed tonight.* _

I waited for an invitation to follow her home, but one never came.

"Okay," I finally murmured, my forehead pressed to hers. "I'll call you tomorrow. All right?"

_*All right.*_

And with one last kiss to my lips, Bella climbed inside her truck and drove away.

When I walked back inside the apartment, I went and took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Emmett. I watched TV with him for a bit while Rose sat quietly in the Lazy Boy, flipping through a magazine, but after about fifteen minutes, I couldn't help myself anymore. I cleared my throat to speak.

"So," I began slowly.

Both Emmett and Rose looked in my direction, eyeing me cautiously as if I were about to make an important announcement, and in a way, I guess I was. But it wasn't exactly an announcement. Instead, I was soliciting opinions. Taking a deep breath, I asked the question I'd been waiting to ask all night.

"What do you think?"

"About what?" Rose asked, shaking her head in confusion.

"About Bella," I clarified, wondering if she was just trying to be difficult. "How do you think things went tonight?"

I shifted in my seat, anxious to hear their responses. Despite my frustrations with translating, I actually thought the evening had gone pretty well. It felt good to finally be able to introduce Bella to my friends and to hang out together as a group. It really felt like we had taken an important step forward in our relationship. That is until Rose spoke up.

"Honestly? It was awkward," she said, her voice disinterested and flat, and I felt like I'd been kicked in the heart.

Truthfully, I was a little taken aback by her response. While Rose hadn't necessarily been overly chummy with Bella tonight, she _had_ seemed to warm up to her a little. Tanya seemed to like her too, although the conversation between the four of us had grown a little awkward towards the end.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, trying to keep an even tone. It was hard for me not to be defensive, but I didn't want to fight with Rose.

She shrugged.

"Bella looked bored out of her mind most of the night."

"Rose," Emmett gently warned, but she only waved him off.

"No, Emmett. Edward asked, and I'm going to answer him honestly. Call me a bitch, call me whatever you want, but at least I have the guts to tell him what I really think."

"She's right, Emmett," I said, my eyes never leaving Rose's. "I asked, and she answered. It's actually an interesting observation on your part, Rose. I just wonder; if more people had made an effort to talk to her, maybe she wouldn't have appeared that way."

There was an edge to my voice, but I didn't care. It bothered me that Rose had noticed something that I hadn't. I supposed I was so wrapped up in trying to translate all night that I hadn't really had a chance to _look_ at Bella. Of course I'd seen her, but generally only while trying to translate. I hadn't been studying her from afar like Rose. I had really thought that Bella had a good time, but now I was questioning that, all because of one simple observation.

"How?" Rose wondered, throwing her hands up in the air in question.

I blinked twice, having momentarily gotten lost in my thoughts.

"How are people supposed to make the effort to talk to her, Edward?" she continued. "You're the only one who knows how to sign! I mean, I appreciate the effort you made to help translate, but it's _awkward_ having to go through another person to say anything other than hello. I felt like I was choreographing a dance: step here, move there, make sure to maintain eye contact and so on. I tried, Edward. I really did. But it was awkward. That's the truth, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way."

"There are other means of communication, you know," I pointed out. "Bella carries her iPad with her everywhere."

"Yes, but that's not practical. At least not in the middle of a cookout."

"Jesus, what do you have against her, anyway?" I shot back, my emotions finally getting the better of me. I hated that neither Rose nor Emmett seemed to have anything positive to say about the evening. I had really been expecting something different, and I couldn't help but feel bitter and disappointed.

"Look, Edward," Rose sighed. "Contrary to what you might think, I don't hate Bella. She seems nice enough. But the truth is, unless we all learn sign language, she's never going to fit in."

I bristled at Rose's words, and whether or not it was because I worried there was a degree of truth to them or because I was simply pissed off that nobody seemed to be able to see beyond Bella's deafness, I wasn't sure.

"Emmett? What do you think?" I asked, momentarily ignoring Rose and turning my attention to him. He'd been uncharacteristically quiet thus far, and I wanted to know what he thought.

Emmett sighed, seeming reluctant to share.

"Don't hold back," I said, unable to hide the derisive tone in my voice.

"Bro, you know I like Bella," he came back at me defensively, "so don't even go there."

I sighed. Emmett was right. I was being unfair. He'd actually been very supportive of my relationship with Bella thus far, but that was part of the reason why his silence tonight bothered me so much. I expected more from him.

"Bella's a cool girl," he continued, "and it's obvious the two of you care about each other. But I have to admit, it _was_ kind of awkward tonight. After awhile, she hardly said anything at all."

Again, there was silence, and then I couldn't hold back anymore.

"This is unbelievable," I said. "I mean - have either of you even stopped to consider how overwhelming this was for both Bella and me? We did the best we could tonight," I ground out, my anger and frustration with the situation showing. "I actually thought things went well, until now."

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration before reminding Emmett that he was the one that said if Bella and I cared about each other, we could overcome our challenges.

"And I still feel that way," he cut in, his voice placating in tone. He obviously didn't want me to be upset. "Listen, Edward. I'm not suggesting the two of you won't work out. But Rose is right. Unless we all learn to sign, which isn't really practical, Bella is probably always going to feel somewhat left out."

My heart sank at Emmett's words, and where I was angry moments before, I felt defeated now. Had tonight really gone that badly? Had I only been kidding myself that things had worked out? Did Bella really felt left out? I hadn't really thought about it before, but now that both Emmett and Rose mentioned it, there _were_ long stretches of time when Bella said nothing at all. I'd _tried_... Jesus had I ever tried to include her in all our conversations, but I couldn't always keep up. It was impossible. As much as I sincerely wanted to, I couldn't translate multiple conversations at once. Not now. Maybe not ever.

That thought really depressed me.

"Edward?"

Rose spoke up, her voice tentative and soft, immediately causing me to be suspicious.

"It probably isn't my place so say this, but for what it's worth, my sister still likes you. She'd never admit that to you, but she does."

Emmett groaned somewhere in the background, but I was hardly paying attention. I was singularly focused on Rose.

"You can't be serious," I replied, even though somewhere in the back of my mind, I suspected the same thing. The way she had looked at me tonight told me she still cared for me as more than just a friend.

"It's true," Rose quietly stated.

"Rose, don't," Emmett said, but we both ignored him.

"Why are you telling me this?" I wondered, completely bewildered by her intentions. Regardless of how Tanya did or didn't feel, it was of absolutely no consequence to me. It didn't change a thing.

"Because you should know that you have options."

_Options? Was she serious?_

"Wow, Rose," I laughed, my voice hardened by sarcasm. "You must really think highly of me to think that I would break up with Bella in order to date your sister. That's what you're suggesting, isn't it?"

"I'm not suggesting anything," she answered with a shake of her head. "I'm only trying to point out the fact that there are other people out there who are interested in you _besides_ Bella. Honestly, Edward, do you really believe your relationship with her is going to work out? Can't you see how difficult it's going to be? Tanya's a good person. Who knows? If you give her a chance, you might like her too. That's all I'm saying."

I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose between my two fingers.

"We've been here before, Rose. I don't know how else to make it clear to you that I don't feel that way about her. Why would you even want me to consider dating her knowing how I feel about Bella? How is that fair to Tanya? It isn't. Even you know that."

Silence followed. Rose studied me quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

"All right."

"All right what?"

"All right, I understand. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't my place."

"You're right. It wasn't," I said before turning in Emmett's direction. "Did you know about this?"

He shrugged.

"Yeah, I knew. But I didn't say anything because it doesn't matter. I know how you feel about Bella."

"Well apparently your girlfriend doesn't," I muttered, and Rose bristled at my words.

"All right, all right," Emmett quickly interjected before Rose had a chance to say anything more. "I think you've both made your points. Rose knows where you stand now, don't you?" he asked, turning in her direction and pinning her with a serious gaze.

While her jaw remained set and her expression hard, her head moved in an almost imperceptible nod, and I was satisfied.

"Fine, but let me make myself perfectly clear. I don't want to have to defend my girlfriend under my own roof again," I said, directing my words specifically at Rose, because she was the one who had gone on the offensive.

"Fair enough," Emmett agreed.

Looking between the two of them, I sighed. What an exhausting fucking evening.

"I'm going to bed," I said, and without saying anything more, I headed into my room. My phone beeped with a text from Bella just as I was falling asleep.

***Thanks for a fun evening. I'll see you tomorrow night?***

**You're welcome. And of course you'll see me tomorrow night. Sleep tight. I'll dream of you.**

Closing my eyes, I couldn't help but wonder if Bella really did have a good time or if she was simply telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. And while I hoped it wasn't the latter, I had a sinking feeling that maybe it was.

*TDD is a telecommunications device used by the deaf.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

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	18. Beneath the Surface

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 18 - Beneath the Surface**

Sunday was a disaster from the moment I opened my eyes. I hadn't slept well the night before, for obvious reasons. My mind was working overtime, endlessly replaying episodes from the BBQ. Were Rose and Emmett correct? Had it really been that awkward? More importantly, had Bella felt left out? I hated the thought that they could be right, and I knew I had to talk to Bella as soon as possible in order to sort things out. The problem was, I had to work a ten hour shift at the hospital and it would be evening time before I had the chance to see her. I contemplated calling in sick but decided against it. I'd just finished making up the hours I missed as a result of my run in with James; I didn't need to indebt myself again.

Working at the hospital was absolute hell. From the moment I arrived until the moment I left, the ER was in overdrive. A seven car pile-up on I-75 coupled with an outbreak of food poisoning at Busch Gardens meant I didn't even have time to grab a sandwich at lunch. When I finally got a break in the early afternoon, I immediately went to text Bella before realizing I had accidentally left my phone at home. I tried calling her using the TDD, but there was no answer. By the time I clocked out at quarter after six, I was exhausted, not to mention slightly frustrated because Bella still wasn't answering the TDD. This left me a little confused and more than a little concerned. It wasn't like her not to answer her phone, and she hadn't mentioned having any plans today. I just assumed she would stay home and study.

When I left the hospital that evening, I drove straight to Bella's, my face falling when I saw her truck wasn't there. I'd been waiting all day to see her and now it looked as if I would have to wait even longer. I briefly considered hanging around, passing the time in my car while waiting for her to arrive, but I quickly decided that wasn't my best option. Bella could be anywhere, and there was no guarantee when she would come home. Instead, I decided to go back to my apartment and text her. At least that way I could take a shower before hopefully meeting up with her later on.

Turning left out of Bella's complex, I made my way onto Fowler Avenue. I had just passed Publix when I spotted her truck rumbling down the road, traveling in the opposite direction from me with none other than Jake behind the wheel. I did a double take, gripping the steering wheel tightly. For a moment I thought I was hallucinating, but I knew what I saw. Suddenly, I was overcome with jealousy. What in the hell was _he_ doing driving her car?

Of course, I knew that Bella and Jake were friends. As much as I didn't like it, I wouldn't ask her to give that part of her life up. What I didn't understand was why she hadn't mentioned anything to me about seeing him today. I trusted Bella, I really did. She had never given me any reason not to, but after last night, I was feeling insecure and full of doubts. Had I pushed our relationship too far too fast by introducing her to all of my friends? Had I unwittingly drawn too much attention to our differences? Our differences preoccupied Bella from time to time, and I could only imagine what she must have been thinking last night, lying alone in her bed with only her thoughts to keep her company. God, I was a fucking idiot. I never should have let her leave. I should have insisted she stay with me. But I wanted to respect her need for space. Nothing good ever came out of forcing someone to talk when they weren't ready.

I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not, but I found myself making an illegal U turn and following Bella back to her apartment. Maybe it wasn't the best idea for her to see me when I was feeling so upset, but I couldn't have gone back to my apartment even if I had wanted to. I _had_ to see her. I had to know that we were okay. I also wanted to know what she was doing with Jake.

By the time I pulled into Bella's complex, she and Jake were already out of the truck. Jake was just about to get into what I assumed was his own car when Bella noticed me driving up. She waved her hand in greeting, and the huge smile that lit up her face helped to allay at least some of my fears. Bella was obviously happy to see me, but I was still nervous and somewhat agitated.

Pulling in beside her, I placed the car in park and immediately exited the vehicle, jogging to her side. Jake remained in place by his car, but that didn't keep me from noticing the smug grin that pulled at his lips. The fucker _knew_ I was jealous and he was taking great satisfaction in it. Fortunately for me, Bella stood on tip toe and kissed my lips in greeting, and even though it was probably an asshole thing to do, I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and kissed her back. _Hard_. Bella obviously wasn't expecting me to respond with such enthusiasm, and she gasped, pulling herself away. Looking up at me, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

_*What's going on?*_ she asked, knowing immediately that something wasn't right. I didn't like that she had pulled away from me, but the logical part of me realized it was necessary in order for her to sign.

_Nothing_, I signed in response, trying to appear as casual as possible. It must not have occurred to Bella that I didn't like seeing her and Jake together, and I didn't want to discuss that in front of him. _I got off work and decided to come over. I tried calling you several times today, but I never got an answer._

_ *I texted you this morning,* _Bella signed, appearing bewildered by my statement. _*Some friends from FSDB called and asked if Jake and I wanted to meet them for lunch in Orlando. We just got back.*_

"You went to lunch?" I repeated.

Part of me was relieved to hear that Bella and Jake had spent the day together in a group, but the other part of me was angry as hell that it was him who had accompanied her to lunch. _I_ wanted to be the one to do that, the one to share that part of her life with her. I wanted to meet Bella's friends just as much as I had wanted her to meet mine. Standing there, listening to her tell me she'd gone to lunch with Jake felt like a slap in the face, and I couldn't help but wonder, did she want the same thing I did? Did she _want_ me to meet her friends? If I wouldn't have had to work today, would she have invited me to come to lunch with her too?

_*I texted you,* _Bella signed again, shaking her head in confusion.

_I left my phone at home_, I finally explained, trying hard not to appear too disappointed that she'd spent the day with Jake. I glanced in his direction, certain he'd still be smirking, but I was surprised to find that I was wrong. He was no longer staring at me with a self-satisfied grin. Instead, he looked on with rather intense interest as Bella and I conversed in sign. I wished I knew what he was thinking.

_*Well I'm glad you're here,*_ Bella signed, pulling my attention back in her direction. _*Do you want to come inside? Jake was just leaving.*_

I nodded my head, and Bella reached down and squeezed my hand before walking over to Jake. They signed back and forth for a moment before she pulled him into a hug. I watched closely as he hugged Bella back. I still didn't trust him, but the embrace was friendly and brief and soon Bella was back by my side. She waved goodbye to Jake, and moments later he was gone, his beat up old Volkswagen Rabbit rounding the corner and disappearing from sight.

Turning in my direction, Bella smiled up at me. She slipped her hand in mine and squeezed it gently again, causing me to breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn't realized how tense I was until I felt myself physically relax under her touch. She must have noticed it too, because she didn't let go of me, even as she fumbled with her keys to unlock the door.

Finally we were inside, and I couldn't keep myself from pulling Bella towards me and kissing her properly. She didn't resist this time, and I groaned in satisfaction, giving myself over to the kiss and to the flurry of emotions that consumed me. She responded in kind, and as my hands slid up her back and tangled in her hair, I thought to myself it would never be enough. I would always want to be closer to Bella. I would always want more, and the thought that anything or anyone might stand in the way of that happening made me frantic with need.

Soon I was kissing Bella with complete abandon, my mouth moving forcefully against hers in an attempt to show her what she truly meant to me. But instead of thrilling her I must have worried her, because she slowly weaned me from her lips until our mouths were no longer touching. Reaching up, she pushed her fingers through my hair, her eyes seeking and holding mine, and the way she looked at me, with such tenderness and concern, was nearly my undoing. Nobody had ever looked at me like that before, like I was the single most important thing in their life and it made me want to pull her into my arms and assure her that _she_ was that person to me too.

_*Are you all right?*_ Bella asked, and I nodded, because I was now, at least for the moment. Somehow, the weight of the real world slipped away when I held Bella in my arms. Unfortunately, she knew I was only telling half truths.

_*Does this have anything to do with Jake?* _she pressed. _*Because I tried texting you to tell you we were going to lunch. We went with mutual friends.* _

There was no anger or defensiveness in the delivery of Bella's words; she only wanted to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about. And I appreciated that, because I probably deserved to be called out on my jealous behavior. But the truth of the matter was the situation was a whole lot more complicated than that. This wasn't just about my jealousy, and both she and I knew that.

_Why didn't you spend the night with me last night?_ I asked.

My question must have caught Bella off guard because she furrowed her brows, staring up at me in confusion.

_*Why are you asking me that?*_

_Because I want to know. Because I've spent the entire day worrying that maybe last night was too much for you. I tried to get a hold of you so that we could talk, but you didn't answer, and then I come to your house and find Jake..._

Bella didn't let me finish.

_*I texted you last night. I told you I had a nice time.*_

I could tell she sympathized with me and that she felt badly that I had worried, but I could also tell from the tension in her jaw that she wasn't being entirely forthcoming.

_Did you really?_ I wondered, because now more than ever, I doubted that she did.

Bella sighed. Taking my hand in hers, she led me into her living room where she sat down with me on the couch. She sat cross-legged by my side, her knees pressing into my thigh, and I took comfort in the fact that she was touching me. It seemed she needed the physical connection just as much as I did. Unfortunately, we needed to leave our hands free to talk.

_*I did have a good time last night,* _Bella began in earnest_. *I really enjoyed meeting your friends. They were all very nice, and I appreciate the effort they made to talk to me, but to be honest, it was exhausting. I was so tired at the end of the night, and I knew you needed to be at work early in the morning, so I decided it was best to go home. That's all, Green Eyes. It didn't have anything to do with us. Okay?*_

I stared into Bella's eyes, and I knew from the intensity of her returning gaze that she was being honest with me. Her hand rubbed soothingly up and down my thigh, an added reminder that she cared for me and didn't want me to be upset. I leaned my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes, allowing her touch and her words to relax me before opening them again. When I did, I turned my head in her direction and reached out, smoothing a lock of her soft brown hair between the tips of my two fingers.

"It was exhausting for me too," I admitted. "I wanted it to be perfect, but I feel like it wasn't."

_*It was fine,*_ she assured me with a small smile.

_But was it awkward? Did you feel left out? _

Bella sighed before pulling up on her knees. Taking my face gently between her two hands, she kissed me softly on the lips. But when I tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled away.

_*One moment,*_ she signed with an apologetic smile. She disappeared into her room then, only to reappear a few moments later with her iPad in hand. I tried not to look too disappointed when she sat back down by my side, but I was really beginning to hate that thing. It was an unwelcome reminder of our limitations, and I couldn't wait until we reached a point where we didn't need it at all. It was frustrating having to communicate through a computer, especially when you were trying to have a serious conversation. I fought back the sudden urge I had to throw the damn device across the room and instead worked hard to conjure a smile.

***Green Eyes, I'm not really sure what you want me to say, so I'm just going to be honest with you and answer your question. Yes, there were moments last night that were awkward and yes, there were times when I felt left out. I won't lie to you and say that there weren't. But what you need to understand is that it wasn't through any fault of your own. You tried, I tried. We both tried our best to make a difficult situation work. But what did you expect? Out of thirty people, we were the only two who knew how to sign. The odds weren't exactly stacked in our favor. I'm not surprised it was impossible for the both of us to keep up.***

_I made a mistake_, I signed with a sad shake of my head upon reading her words. _I didn't think. I should have known it would be too much. I'm sorry I put you through that. If I would have known all those people were going to show up I never would have…_

_ *Stop,*_ Bella interrupted, fixing me with a firm gaze. _*Please don't. I'm not upset with you and I'm certainly not sorry you invited me to the BBQ. It might have been difficult, but it was a learning experience for the both of us. Wouldn't you agree?_*

_I just hate that you felt left out, _I replied with a frown. _You shouldn't have to feel that way. _

Bella sighed.

_ *I know you're not going to want to hear this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm used to it, Green Eyes. It's just a fact of my life.*_

She was right. That was the absolute _last_ thing I wanted to hear, but what bothered me more was that it felt like she was making excuses. Something told me she had simply grown indifferent to uncomfortable situations, and I didn't like that. I didn't like it at all. I wished she weren't so apathetic.

_I wish you wouldn't say things like that. It really bothers me, _I replied, unable to keep from expressing my thoughts. I tried hard to temper my emotions, but it was clear that I was frustrated.

Apparently, so was Bella.

She pulled the iPad from out of my lap and began quickly typing away.

***Well what exactly do you want me to say, Edward? Do you want me to get angry, like you? Shake my hands in the air, proclaiming it's not fair? Is that how you want me to react? Because believe me, I've done that, more times than I can count. I've been bitter and I've been mad. I was so bitter and so mad that I traveled clear across the country to try and find a place where I felt I belonged! You know this, Edward! You know all of this. You know that there will be times when I feel awkward and left out. You know that there will be times when I feel like I don't belong. It goes with the territory, and the sooner you realize that, the better. If you're expecting the two of us to be able to hang out together in social situations without there ever being any sort of discomfort at all, well then, you're going to be disappointed. It's not realistic, Edward. I'm sorry, but that's all there is to it.***

I stared at Bella's words in disbelief. Not because they were unexpected but because the passion behind them took me entirely by surprise. Bella was always so calm and cool and collected, but it was impossible for anyone to be so composed all the time. I knew there had to be something more there, and in that moment, I finally felt as if I really _saw_ Bella. In some ways, I felt as if she were truly being honest with me for the very first time. And rather than be upset by words that were obviously spoken in irritation, they actually brought me a deep sense of relief. Knowing Bella trusted me enough to let me in like that meant everything to me.

Reaching out, I took her hand in mine and brought it to my mouth. She seemed surprised by the gesture, but she didn't protest when I brushed my lips against the back of her hand. Pressing her palm to my face, I held her gaze for a long moment before signing, _I'm sorry. _

Bella swallowed hard, her face swimming with emotion, and for a moment, it looked as if she might cry. Instead, she managed to remained stoic, her eyes never shedding a tear. She was always so well put together that I wondered if she ever really did let go.

Eventually, I placed her hand back in her lap. I hated having to do it, but I needed the iPad to speak.

**I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you. I'm just frustrated, because regardless of whether or not you're used to feeling left out, I don't want you to feel that way. I don't think you have any idea how much it hurts me to hear you say that you feel like you don't belong. It fucking kills me, Bella. I care about you so much, and I really want the two of us to be a part of each other's lives, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if situations like last night truly make you feel uncomfortable, you're going to end up resenting me in the end. You're going to resent having to spend so much time around hearing people and you're going to resent me for putting you in that situation in the first place.**

Bella read along as I typed, looking up at me as soon as I was finished. I was worried that she might be upset with me, but when she reached out and brushed the back of her hand along the side of my face, all my fears slipped away.

_*I could never resent you,*_ she signed, slowly shaking her head, and I was absolutely certain she had no idea how truly meaningful those words were to me.

She leaned forward then, softly kissing my lips before gingerly removing the iPad from my hand.

***You try, Edward. You try so hard to include me and to always make me feel at ease. Did you know that you're the first man I've ever been with that's done that for me? Not even Jake, whose sister is deaf, did that for me. So no; I could never resent someone who is as kind and sweet and caring as you are. I think we both just need to understand what our limitations are, both individually and as a couple. Maybe going to large parties won't really be our thing. ****Not that we can't, but maybe it would be better for the two of us to spend time together in smaller groups, where it isn't so difficult for us to talk. We're going to have to create our own rules, Green Eyes, ones that work for us. Besides…***

Bella stopped typing mid-sentence, and when I looked over at her to see why, she smiled shyly at me, slowly drawing her lower lip between her teeth while setting the iPad down at her side.

"Yes?" I breathed as she crawled on top of me, straddling my hips with her thighs. It was no surprise the effect her close proximity had on me, and I pulled her closer, my body coming alive underneath hers.

_*Besides,*_ she continued, dragging a single finger across my bottom lip. _*I kind of like spending time with you alone.*_

And with that she kissed me - slowly, softly, her mouth moving lazily against mine until I parted her lips with my tongue, swallowing her contented sighs. Kissing her like this was always amazing, and we made out with each other for several long minutes before kissing just wasn't enough. I wanted Bella. I wanted her badly. After the events of the last twenty-four hours, she was the only thing I needed to center me and remind me what was real. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold back, so I didn't.

Running my hands up the length of her back, I tangled them in her hair, pulling her closer so that I could kiss her harder. My emotions were finally catching up with me, and I was beginning to feel slightly out of control. I was desperate to show Bella what she meant to me, desperate to show her that we belonged together, that we were right together, that no one else had ever made me happier and no one else ever could. Silence wasn't meant to be a barrier between us; it was meant to bring us together.

Underneath it all, I knew Bella felt the same.

Her hands were everywhere, as needy and as desperate as mine, pulling me closer, closer and closer still, until our bodies felt as if they were one. She paused a moment, breathless from my kisses, and I surprised her by thrusting my hips upwards. A soft, sexy sound escaped through her lips, and when her eyes fluttered closed and her head dipped back, it just about drove me wild.

Pulling her body back to mine, I kissed along the skin of her cheek, made warm by the rush of desire, and when I reached her ear, I nipped it softly, tugging her gently near.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered, my voice low and rough.

I knew she couldn't hear, but it didn't matter. To me the words rang loud and clear.

_*What did you say?*_ Bella asked, pulling my face back to hers. She was breathless with want, but she was curious still, and I smiled as I playfully nipped her lips.

_"_You're beautiful," I said, my eyes never leaving hers, and I grinned in satisfaction as the breath caught in the back of her throat. My lips retraced their path then, leaving a trail of dampness as they once again found her ear.

"I want to fuck you," I breathed, punctuating my words with an upward thrust of my hips.

When she pulled my face back to hers again, she didn't have to ask.

Slowly, I licked my lips.

"I want to fuck you," I told her, my body wound tight with desire.

The words had barely left my mouth when Bella's lips came crashing down on mine. I groaned loudly in response, taking hold of her by the waist and quickly standing up with her before laying her down on the couch. Crawling on top of her, I lowered my body, settling myself between her thighs, and I kissed her as if she was the only thing keeping me alive, because in that moment, it felt as if she was.

"Off," I heard her murmur, causing me to lift my head in surprise. I was momentarily distracted by hearing her speak, but Bella wasn't interested in talking. She stripped me of my shirt, and I moaned softly when she traced her forefinger down the center of my chest. She let it linger at the waistband of my pants, teasing me by dipping it under, only to pull it right back out. I was so fucking hard that I couldn't see straight, and I rushed to unbutton her blouse while she hastily unfastened my jeans. I hissed in response when she finally pulled me free.

"Fuck," I breathed, closing my eyes at the overwhelming sensation of her hand wrapped around me, and for a moment I let myself get lost in the feeling, in the endless pleasurable sensations her touch elicited in me. I marveled at how it was so different from how any other woman had ever made me feel.

I didn't have to think long about why.

"I want you," I murmured, opening my eyes again, because it was a sin not to look at Bella. She was stunning beneath me, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, hair fanned out all around her. Reaching out, I skimmed my hands along the smooth skin of her breasts, stopping in the center to brush my thumbs across her nipples. Bella whimpered softly in response, her head rolling back against the cushions.

_*Please,*_ she signed with a shaky hand, her eyes glazed over with desire. A lazy smile lit my face, and I bent down, teasing her by drawing a single, perfect nipple into my mouth. Sucking softy, torturous in my light touch, I pushed her pants down past her knees before giving her what we both wanted. Centering myself over her, I slid slowly back and forth before pushing inside her with one solid stroke. Bella gasped in reaction, her hands sliding down my waist and settling on my backside where she gripped me tightly. Then I started moving inside her and everything else was forgotten.

"Fuck, you're perfect," I breathed as my tongue traveled along the outer shell of her ear, but this time Bella didn't ask what I was saying. She was moaning softly as I kissed along her neck, and I buried my head there for a moment, nuzzling against her skin and reveling in the sensation of being inside of her. I was moving slowly, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this pace up for long. My need for Bella was simply too strong.

Pulling my face from her neck, I looked deep into her eyes, mesmerized by what I saw there. They were pinning me, holding me, communicating her innermost thoughts, and they were about to drive me over the edge.

The honesty there was overwhelming.

Bella swallowed hard, gripping the hair at the back of my neck and tugging me closer, and I kissed her with an urgency that spun us both out of control. We remained locked in a passionate embrace, moving and kissing and loving and fucking until breathless, I tore my mouth from hers.

"Turn over," I growled, slipping from inside her. Bella's bright brown eyes glowed with unbridled desire and without a word, she did as I requested. Soon she was on her hands and knees, her behind pressed firmly against me, and when she turned around to look at me, I couldn't help but grunt loudly and sink back in.

"Fuck," I whispered, the word leaving my mouth on a breathless sigh. Bella watched me intently, and with her teeth pressing hard into her lower lip, she pivoted her hips, driving me to action.

"You make me feel so fucking good, baby," I murmured as I began moving inside her again, but I doubted she understood me. My hand had just found the spot where she was most sensitive, causing her to gasp when my finger started swirling. With her head hung low, she couldn't look at me any longer, so overcome with sensation was she, so I leaned forward, pressing my back flush against hers, re-establishing that sacred connection.

Together, we drew closer.

Panting, twisting, grunting.

Pushing, pulling, fucking.

I felt what I did to her as her body twisted then unwound, and I bit down on her shoulder, crying out as I spilled inside of her. Breathless and satiated, I collapsed against her, rolling to my side and taking her with me. I kissed her shoulder, the spot where I'd left an angry red mark, and her hand came to settle over mine, complete with a contented sigh.

We lay together on the couch for awhile before showering and ordering dinner in. Not soon after, we retired to Bella's room. Though we tried our best to study, both of us had a hard time focusing.

_You never told me how lunch went_, I signed after pushing my Ethics and Medicine textbook aside. After reading the same paragraph five times in a row, I knew it was time for a break.

Bella smiled mischievously at me before gently pinching my side.

_*You never gave me a chance. You distracted me,*_ she signed in response.

_Me? You're the one who crawled into my lap_, I pointed out with a satisfied grin. _Not that I'm complaining…_

Bella giggled, leaning in to press a small kiss to my lips.

_*Lunch was fine. Thank you for asking.*_

_So you had a good time?_

She nodded.

_*I did.*_

I was quiet for a moment before asking what was really on my mind.

_Do you think I'll ever have a chance to meet these friends?_

Bella seemed surprised by my question, almost as if she hadn't considered the possibility that I would want to, which made me somewhat sad. She'd said before I was the first person she'd dated who had ever gone out of their way to make her feel comfortable, and I wondered, was I also the first one to openly show interest in her world?

She studied me thoughtfully for a moment before answering.

_*If you'd like to.*_

_Of course I would_, I signed without hesitation. There was truly nothing I wanted more.

_*Then you will,* _she replied with a soft smile, reaching out to touch her fingers to my cheek. I sighed, turning to kiss her palm.

"Thank you," I murmured, causing her to shake her head in amusement.

_*Why are you thanking me?* _

_ I don't know, _I shrugged.

_ *Edward…*_

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew there was no point in hiding how I felt.

_Can I tell you something without you becoming upset?_ I asked, and she tilted her head to the side, regarding me curiously before slowly signing _*yes*_.I smiled at her in appreciation, reaching across to where her iPad lay on her bedside table.

**Earlier when you first told me you'd had lunch with your friends from FSDB, I was worried that maybe you wanted to spend time with them because you felt excluded with my friends last night.**

Part of me was embarrassed by my admission, but I couldn't pretend it wasn't true. Because I did worry that I was pulling Bella away from her world and that regardless of what she said, she might eventually come to resent me for this. Her reassuring gaze helped to convince me that wasn't the case.

_*I wanted to spend time with my friends because I haven't seen them in several months,*_ she patiently explained. _*Not because of anything that happened last night.*_

"Are you sure?"

*_Yes_,* she reassured me, resting her forehead against mine. _*So stop worrying, okay? Or else you're going to drive us both crazy.*_

Bella and I both laughed, but we weren't laughing moments later when she leaned in and captured my lips in a heated kiss. Her enthusiasm was unexpected, but I responded eagerly, kissing her back with all I had until she suddenly pulled away. Breathless, she grabbed my hand in hers, placing it over top of her heart.

_*Do you feel this?*_ she signed, her face focused and intense and so goddamn beautiful. _ *My heart beats for you, Green Eyes, only you.*_ She pressed my hand harder against her heart, and I felt it beating a million miles a minute. Bella leveled her eyes at me then, holding me in an unwavering gaze before slowly pulling her hand away.

_ *A very wise person I know once told me that it was best to focus on the similarities in a relationship, not the differences. I don't want to think about what makes us different anymore . I want to focus on what makes us the same. As far as I can tell, we make each other happy, and that's what matters most, right?* _

Bella looked up at me through a barely contained grin, and when she winked at me I couldn't help but shake my head at her and smile. It wasn't so long ago I had recited those same exact words. Now here she was, reminding me of what was most important in our relationship and setting my heart and mind at ease.

"He is a wise man," I agreed as I moved her textbook out of the way. I dropped it to the floor before rolling on top of her and kissing her long and hard.

A very wise man, indeed.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

Rec:

**Olly Olly Oxen Free by Dandelion Mind. ** This fic is a conundrum, in more ways than one. Romance (okay, well… maybe not yet, but I think it will get there), humor, mystery, tragedy… it has it all, wrapped up nice and neat in a tight little snarky package. This fic is different, and might not be for the faint of heart, but I am loving it so far. Give it a try! **Official Summary:** Until the murders, it was difficult to enjoy anything in this dull town. Now CSI has nothing on my life, and I have my own killer to catch. I just wish I didn't have another mystery to solve. Bella. Just as puzzling, only infinitely more annoying. AH ExB


	19. Unexpected

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 19 - Unexpected**

I breathed in a deep sigh of relief. Midterms were officially over. After dotting my last i and crossing my last t, I rose from my seat to hand in my exam. As I approached my professor's desk, I had to admit she was pretty fucking hot. She'd worn her hair down today, and it hung loosely over her shoulders, creating a waterfall of brown that hid her from view as she meticulously studied the papers that lay in front of her. God she was beautiful, and the best part was, she was mine.

I slipped the written part of my Intro. to Sign Language exam in with the rest of the stack, and Bella glanced up at me, favoring me with a brief but incredibly alluring smile. I tried hard not to focus too closely on her lips, but it was nearly impossible. She'd worn lipstick today, which was something different for her. She usually didn't bother with make-up, and I wondered if it had anything to do with picking up Alice at the airport later this evening. Bella planned on going with me, and the three of us were going to grab a bite to eat together afterwards.

"I'll see you later," I silently mouthed, making my way slowly towards the door.

Bella discreetly nodded her head. She had to wait for the rest of the students to turn in their tests, and I needed to run across campus to check and see if the grades had been posted for my piano performance exam. I'd gone with a 20th century composition this time around, which was risky for me considering it wasn't my favorite era of music. There were exceptions, of course. I loved impressionist music - Debussy and Ravel; who didn't love Claire de Lune? But I hadn't chosen to play music from either one of those composers. I'd selected a concerto by Schoenberg, which showcased the use of his twelve-tone technique. I'd definitely taken a chance in choosing this piece, but something had driven me to break out of my box. I'd wanted to do something different - try something new, and Bella had encouraged me in my choice.

I had exited the classroom and was on my way outside when Jessica's shrill voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Edward! Edward, wait!"

I rolled my eyes, wincing as she practically screeched my name. I really wanted to pretend that I didn't hear her, but it would have been impossible, not to mention rude. Of course, Jessica wasn't exactly the poster child for tact, but two wrongs never made a right. Playing the part of the nice guy, I plastered a fake grin on my face and turned in her direction.

"Hey, Jessica, what's up?"

She stopped in front of me, huffing in frustration and doing her best to wrangle her hair from her face. It was a windy day outside, which I rather enjoyed but apparently she didn't.

"How do you think you did?" she asked, securing her hair with a tie.

She was obviously referring to our sign language exam, but even though I was pretty sure I had aced it, I didn't want to appear too cocky, so I simply shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay, I guess."

"Liar," she teased. She reached out and lightly punched me on the arm and I frowned. I didn't like the fact that she always seemed to find some reason to touch me. I quickly stepped away, putting as much distance between the two of us as possible without entirely walking away. Unfortunately, my withdrawal was less than discreet, and Jessica narrowed her eyes at me, letting me know that she'd noticed.

"Um... some parts were more difficult than others," I offered, trying to dispel the sudden awkwardness I felt. I wanted nothing more to get the hell out of there, but I was well aware of the fact I had to endure this girl for the rest of the semester, and as much as I disliked her, I didn't want to create any more issues between the two of us than already existed. It was best not to make enemies is a class where you were dating the teacher.

"Yeah, that was kind of my impression. The time we spent reviewing together in class last week really helped, though. Thanks for that."

Jessica smiled at me, her appreciation appearing genuine, but her uncharacteristic niceness only served to make me feel all the more uncomfortable. Something was up, and when her eyes raked over me, lingering just a moment too long on my lips, it wasn't hard to figure out what.

"So," she began before trailing off for a moment, and I inwardly groaned, pretty sure I wasn't going to like what she had to say. She took a deep breath and then continued.

"What are you doing over Spring Break? Because I was thinking that if you were interested…" there was a pause, "maybe we could hang out."

The suggestive lilt to Jessica's voice told me she was interested in more than just hanging out, and this conversation had just gone from bad to totally fucked up in a matter of seconds. Of course, if I was being honest with myself, I shouldn't have been all that surprised. There was a part of me that had been waiting for this to happen; Jessica's tendency to flirt with me in class was anything but innocent. But I'd hoped she wouldn't go there. Now I was faced with the uncomfortable task of turning her down. Not that I minded setting the record straight, but I was worried that if I admitted to dating anyone, she might put two and two together and figure out that Bella and I were a couple. Still, I didn't see that I had much of a choice. I didn't want to send her any mixed signals.

"Listen, Jessica. You should know I'm seeing someone..." My words trailed off, and I hoped my vague admission would be enough to convince her that I wasn't interested, but unfortunately she was undeterred.

"Well, is it serious?" she wondered, as if this might make a difference.

"Yes," I answered her without the slightest bit of hesitation.

"Oh."

Jessica's face fell. She hesitated, as if not sure what to say next, so I saved her the effort by slowly backing away. I didn't want to be rude, but as far as I was concerned, the conversation was over.

"Yeah, so anyway, have a good Spring Break, okay?" I said, trying to sound as genuine as possible while offering a cursory wave goodbye. There really was no way to gracefully bow out of this situation, so I didn't even try.

"Yeah... you too," I heard her say as she waved her hand lightly in return. And before she could say anything else, I turned on my heel and headed in the direction of the music building.

A little while later, I pushed open the door to Bella's office, bursting at the seams with excitement. She didn't notice me at first; she was too busy pouring over her students' exams. It was only when I reached out and flicked the light switch on the wall that she looked up to where I stood, grinning from ear to ear.

"I got an A!" I exclaimed, ecstatic. I knew Bella couldn't hear me, but I couldn't help but yell. I was so excited to have scored so well on Schoenberg. Bella read my lips and immediately jumped up from her seat, running to engulf me in a huge hug. It was brief, given our very public location, but filled with unmistakable emotion.

_*I'm so proud of you,*_ she signed when she pulled away.

I beamed in response to her compliment.

_I still can't believe it. I was so worried._

_*You worked hard. You deserved an A.*_

Moving a step closer, I took one of Bella's hands in mine. I really wanted to kiss her, but I knew that would be pushing the limits so I didn't even try.

_Thanks for encouraging me_, I signed, appreciative of her support.

Bella smiled up at me.

_*Sometimes in trying something different, we discover something we really love,*_ she signed, and for a brief moment, my heart stopped beating in my chest. While I knew Bella was talking about Schoenberg, I couldn't help but wonder if she was also referring to something else... to us and our relationship, specifically.

_I couldn't agree more_, I signed back, holding her gaze steady with my own.

Bella's cheeks instantly warmed over, further convincing me her words held deeper meaning. No longer able to help myself, I reached up, gently stroking the thumb of my right hand across her cheek. Bella sighed in contentment, causing my heart to work overtime in my chest. I loved that I was able to make her feel this way. I loved that my touch alone was enough to put such a beautiful smile on her face. It was humbling in the most surprising way. I never thought I'd be this person to a girl, but I was now, and I never wanted to be the boy I was in the past again.

I waited while Bella finished going over a few more papers before we left school together, on our way to pick up Alice at the airport. We had a little time before her flight arrived, so we decided to grab a cup of coffee at a small shop on Dale Mabry. After ordering our drinks, Bella and I took a seat across from one another in an isolated booth. As we sat there, sipping our coffee and enjoying a rare moment of rest, I considered whether or not now was the time to bring Jessica up.

I knew that I needed to tell Bella what happened. Sooner was always better than later as far as I was concerned, but I didn't want to spoil the evening. Still, I wanted to avoid any potential misunderstandings, so I decided to jump right in, not even bothering to make small talk before cutting to the chase.

_Jessica stopped me after class today_, I signed just as Bella brought her cup to her lips. The steam from her cup billowed up around her face, and I studied her carefully as she blew it out of the way before slowly taking a sip. At first glance, she didn't appear overly concerned by what I'd said, but I knew her better than she thought; the small amount of tension visible in her loosely locked jaw signaled she was more bothered than she was outwardly willing to admit. Raising both her brows in question, she prompted me to continue.

_ She wanted to know what my plans for Spring Break were_, I explained, faltering a bit before admitting that Jessica had asked me out. I went on to explain everything that had happened as succinctly as possible. There was no point in lingering too long on an uncomfortable topic of conversation. When I was through, Bella sat still as a statue, taking a few moments to quietly consider everything I had said before offering a cursory shrug of her shoulders.

_*Okay,*_ she signed, as if it wasn't a big deal, and though I should have been relieved by her indifference, her reaction kind of unnerved me. I hadn't necessarily been expecting Bella to be overly concerned with what happened, but I hadn't expected her to shrug the situation off either.

_You're not bothered_, I commented after a moment's time, trying my best to see beyond the unflappable expression she wore on her face.

_*I didn't say that,*_ she replied, carefully choosing her words. I waited for her to communicate something more to me, but instead she sat quietly by.

_That's it?_ _You don't have anything more to say?_ I signed when the silence between us dragged on too long.

I was beginning to get frustrated. Bella was holding back again, and I didn't like it. Every time I thought we'd moved past this, she turned around and shut me out again. It felt like we were moving backwards.

_*I trust you,*_ she signed with a heavy sigh, noting my concern. _*Isn't that all that matters?*_

I thought about Bella's question for a moment before answering her. I supposed in a perfect world the fact that she trusted me _was_ all that mattered, but if she was holding back, which I felt strongly that she was, _that_ mattered too. I wanted Bella to talk to me. I wanted her to tell me how she was truly feeling, not what she thought I wanted to hear. The fact that she was currently fidgeting in her seat told me she wasn't as unaffected by this conversation as she pretended to be.

_Why doesn't anything seem to faze you?_ I pressed, curious as to how she was always able to hold everything together so well, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if Bella had told me some guy had asked her out, I'd be jealous. Really, if I were to be entirely honest with myself, I kind of _wanted_ her to be jealous. At least then, I'd recognize it as an honest emotion and I'd know she wasn't holding back.

Bella's eyes met mine, and I immediately knew she was aware of what I was thinking. She was incredibly perceptive like that, sometimes seeming to read my mind, which was unnerving when hers was so often a blank slate.

Setting her coffee down on the table, she reached into her bag and pulled out her iPad, placing it on the table. Within moments, her fingers were fast at work.

***Do you honestly believe that nothing fazes me, Green Eyes? Because believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Did you know that I look at girls like Jessica, **_**hearing girls**_**, all the time? Did you also know that when I do, the only thing I can think about is how much easier a relationship with them would be for you? So, yes... it bothers me to know that Jessica is interested in you, but it won't do me any good to get upset over something I don't have any control over. Girls are going to like you, Green Eyes. I'd be a fool to believe otherwise. I can either trust you... trust what I feel for you and what I know you feel for me, or I can drive myself crazy wondering if you'd rather be with someone else - **_**someone who isn't deaf**_**. I prefer the former, Green Eyes, because the latter is just too difficult.***

I stared at Bella's iPad, overwhelmed by a sudden rush of shame. I realized too late I shouldn't have pushed her and that it was my own insecurity that was prompting me to make remarks at her expense. I hadn't meant to draw attention to the fact that Jessica was hearing and Bella was deaf. This difference was meaningless to me, but not necessarily to her. Even though Bella was fiercely proud of whom she was her deafness could still make her feel insecure. Honestly, I could understand that, because the fact that I could hear elicited similar feelings in me. I had worried on more than one occasion that a relationship with a deaf man might be more appealing to Bella, but I never voiced those thoughts.

I looked up at Bella, my eyes meeting hers in silent apology.

** I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of Jessica. Please believe me when I say I wasn't trying to draw attention to the fact that she's hearing and you're deaf. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I just thought you'd want to know that she asked me out, because if someone asked you out, I'd want to know too. **

Bella read what I had written, afterwards slowly nodding her head. When she looked back in my direction, she offered me a small smile, and I knew she wasn't upset.

***It's okay, Green Eyes. I understand. I appreciate your honesty, but you should know by now that I don't like to dwell on things that are out of my control. I meant it when I said I trust you. That's all that matters to me.***

It was my turn to nod my head in silent acknowledgement of what Bella had said, and I was ready to let the conversation go, but not before I set the record straight on one particular matter.

**Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you trust me because it's true; I do want to be with you, more than anything. **

**But Bella? **

**Just because something isn't easy, doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for. **

**You're worth fighting for. _We're_ worth fighting for. Please don't ever doubt that. You say that a relationship with a hearing woman would be easier for me, but I'm not looking for a relationship that's easy. I'm looking for one that's meaningful. And I've found that... with you.**

I watched closely as Bella read my words. When she was through, she looked up at me, her big brown eyes soft and unguarded.

_You are so important to me_, I slowly signed, working hard to convey the depth of my emotions. _Hearing or deaf, it doesn't matter to me._

Bella sighed, her fingers reaching out to gently stroke my cheek.

_*You are important to me, too.*_

I struggled with what to say next. The overwhelming part of me wanted to tell Bella that she was more than just important to me. I wanted to tell her right then and there that I loved her, but somehow the moment just didn't seem right. I didn't want her to think the words were offered in casual response to our conversation; I wanted her to know they came straight from my heart.

Bella nudged me with her foot, interrupting my thoughts.

_*We're going to be late,*_ she signed with a small smile, and when I glanced down at my watch, I saw that she was right. We really did need to leave. I watched as Bella packed her iPad away and stood from where she was seated, but before I had a chance to slide out of the booth and join her, she slipped in beside me. Taking my face gently in her hands, she kissed me softly, her lips moving in slow motion against mine.

All too soon she stopped. Resting her forehead against mine, we gazed into each other's eyes, and in that single, silent exchange, we conveyed more to each other than a thousand words ever could. I smiled to myself. This quiet connection we shared, this ability to communicate with each other even amidst the deafening silence, made us so strong. I knew this, and I had high hopes it would always carry us through.

_*Ready?*_ Bella asked as we reluctantly pulled apart. I nodded in response, and with one final kiss to her lips, we slid out of the booth and left the coffee shop.

It was nearly seven when we arrived at the airport. Bella and I made our way through the terminal to Alice's assigned gate, and we stood together, hand in hand, staring out the window at the runway, waiting on her plane to arrive. With each passing minute, Bella's hand gripped mine tighter. I assumed she was anxious about meeting Alice, so I did my best to reassure her, rubbing my thumb soothingly along the tiny strip of skin separating her thumb and forefinger.

_If it helps, Alice is probably just as nervous as you_, I signed, turning to face her.

My words weren't entirely true. My sister was the very definition of extroverted, so I doubted she was nervous at all. Still, I was willing to say almost anything to put Bella at ease. I didn't want her to feel anxious about meeting my family.

She looked up at me, worrying her lower lip a bit before offering me a nervous smile.

_*Is it that obvious?*_

I smiled down at her, squeezing her hand and drawing attention to her iron clad grip.

She grimaced.

_*I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was fine up until now,*_ she signed.

She took a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky sigh, and it was then that I realized just how hard she was struggling to remain composed. I frowned. This was very unlike Bella. In fact, it was so out of character for her that I immediately began to worry that something was wrong. Thirty minutes before, she had been fine. She hadn't appeared anxious at all. But now, she was very clearly distressed. With her hand firmly ensconced in mine, I led her over to a set of vacant seats nearby.

_Is everything all right?_ I asked once we were seated.

I kept Bella's left hand threaded together with mine, choosing only to sign with my right hand. While one-handed signing wasn't ideal, under the circumstances, I didn't want to stop touching her.

_*I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous,* _she replied, attempting to dismiss her feelings, but I refused to let her do that.

_Stop apologizing_, I insisted. _Tell me what's wrong_.

When Bella didn't respond, I reached out, gently tilting her chin upward and forcing her to look me in the eye.

_Bella, please_, I pleaded, anxious to know what was going on.

Alice's plane would be landing soon, and I didn't want Bella to use her arrival as an excuse to avoid talking about what was bothering her. Her eyes bounced all over, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap before she finally began to sign.

_*It hasn't always gone over so well when I've met family members,*_ she reluctantly admitted.

Though she didn't come right out and say it, it didn't take a genius to figure out she was referring to the families of other hearing men she had dated in the past. I pushed back the jealousy I felt at the thought of her being with another man and instead focused on what was important – her.

_What happened?_ I asked, curious as to what had gone wrong. I honestly could not imagine anyone not loving Bella. She was good and kind and funny and so easy to be around. I'd fallen seamlessly into a friendship with her long before falling into something more.

Bella frowned, her face pulled tight in consideration as she mulled over her answer.

_*To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. But I think when people meet me for the first time, it all becomes real,*_ she signed after a bit, and her answer left me thoroughly confused.

_Real in what way?_

Bella's eyes locked with mine.

_*Real in the sense that their son or brother or grandchild is dating a person with a disability. They worry about what that means, for their loved one to be involved with someone who is handicapped.*_

I slowly digested Bella's words. They were laced with a certain sorrow that made my heart ache for her. But while I wanted to argue that people should be able to see beyond what they labeled as a handicap, even my family, who had been mostly accepting of my relationship with Bella, had had their concerns. I supposed it was inevitable given the situation, but I didn't want Bella to be preoccupied by this. I didn't want her to worry that as a deaf person she would never be accepted into a hearing family, because it wasn't true.

The roar of a jet engine caused both Bella and I to momentarily look away, but I quickly found her eyes again, imploring her to listen.

"You have nothing to worry about," I said, holding her gaze steady with mine.

I was sincere in the delivery of my words, and I hoped she understood that our situation was different. The feelings I had for her weren't ones that could be influenced by others. Even if my family was to be so close minded as to judge Bella based solely on her disability, it would make no difference. My feelings for her were too strong to be swayed by outside opinion. Resting my forehead against hers, I sealed my promise with a kiss, and when I pulled away, I was relieved to see she looked slightly more at ease. She even offered me a tentative smile, her moment of panic seeming to silently slip away.

Just then, an enthusiastic squeal split the air. Alice appeared in front of me, arms thrown up and looking for a hug. I immediately stood to embrace her, and she laughed in delight as I spun her around in a small circle, the bracelets on her wrist tinkling in my ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bella's smile broadening, and no sooner had I set Alice down on the ground than Bella was stepping forward to greet her.

My girl found had found her courage after all.

"Alice, this is Bella," I began by way of introduction, but before I had a chance to continue, Alice's hands started moving in front of her.

_{It's nice to finally meet you! Edward's told me so much about you. I'm happy you could come with him to pick me up,} _she signed, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and if God himself had chosen that moment to appear before me, I couldn't have been more surprised.

Alice was signing. _Fluently_.

I tried hard not to gape at her, but it was damn near impossible not to. She hadn't so much as mentioned a word to me about learning to sign, but she had obviously learned somewhere, and I was stunned and amazed, but mostly just grateful, because this was exactly what Bella needed. If this wasn't confirmation that she was accepted by my family, I didn't know what was.

Glancing in her direction, I watched as she brushed a tear from her eye. She was as moved by Alice's gesture as I was, and in that moment, it occurred to me that I had never actually seen her cry. Bella was usually so stoic and so strong, but not today. Her rare display of vulnerability had me struggling to temper my own emotions.

_*It's nice to meet you too,*_ she signed with shaky hands, biting back a smile.

Alice opened her arms wide to her then, and Bella willingly walked into them, the two girls hugging like long lost friends. When they finally parted, Bella's worry and anxiety from before seemed nothing more than an afterthought. She was entirely at ease, and I couldn't help but smile. Alice had been on the ground for less than five minutes, and already she was working her magic, spinning an unsuspecting Bella into her web of friendship.

_{Did you wait for me to eat dinner? I'm starving,} _Alice signed with a wide smile.

_*Of course,*_ Bella replied. _*We thought maybe we'd grab some Cuban food on the way home.*_

Bella made sure to sign slowly, and Alice watched her intently, wrinkling her nose in concentration as she tracked her every movement.

_{That sounds great! I'd love some black beans and rice. I just need to get my luggage first,} _Alice signed. She had to finger spell 'black beans and rice', but I was amazed at how fast her fingers manipulated the letters. She was almost as fast as I was.

Bella rubbed her belly, a huge grin spreading across her face. She loved black beans and rice, and I was beginning to think these two might just be a match made in heaven. She gave Alice a thumbs up, and Alice promptly linked her arm through Bella's, leading the three of us on our way.

A little while later, we all filed out of the restaurant and into my Volvo. Dinner had gone extremely well, with Alice and Bella getting to know each other over black beans and rice and Mojitos. I had to admit, it had been surreal watching Bella and my sister effortlessly communicate with each other in sign, but I'd quickly grown accustomed to it, relishing in the fact that a member of my family had made the effort to learn.

Bella sat beside me in the front seat on the way home, holding my hand in her lap. She gazed out the window, up at the dark night sky, and it would have been impossible not to have noticed the contented expression on her face. She was happy, and Alice had made her that way. I didn't think a first meeting between her and my family could have gone any better.

Despite my disappointment in having to do so, I dropped Bella off at her apartment with a promise to pick her up first thing in the morning. I hated being apart from her, but Alice was taking the bed at my place and I was being relegated to the couch.

_*Did you know?*_ she signed, turning to face me at her front door, and I knew she was referring to the fact that Alice knew how to sign.

"No, I didn't," I replied, leaning in for a kiss. Bella ran her hand around the back of my head, lazily scratching the hair at the nape of my neck.

_*Your family must really love you.*_

I thought about this for a moment before replying.

_They do,_ I finally agreed. _But that's not why Alice is learning sign._

_*No?*_

_No, _I shook my head. _She's learning it because of you, Bella, because she wants to know you._

Bella gazed up at me, her deep brown eyes heavy with emotion, and when she pressed her lips to mine for the final time that night, there was a certain intensity heretofore missing. Standing there, I felt a subtle shift in our relationship, as if Alice's easy acceptance of Bella had imbued each of us with the belief that we really could make this relationship work. I kissed Bella back soundly, and when I finally stepped away, I saw a steadfastness reflected in her eyes telling me she felt the same way.

_Goodnight_, I signed, slowly making my way backwards towards the car. She offered me a little wave before disappearing behind her door.

"Spill it, Short Stuff," I said when I climbed back inside my car.

Alice had moved up front and was now seated beside me, wearing a smirk.

"What on earth are you talking about?" she wondered, playfully batting her lashes. I chuckled softly, rolling my eyes at her and reaching over to pinch her arm, but she was too quick for me. She instantly pulled it away.

"Hey," she reprimanded as I started up the car. "Is that any way to treat someone who's just spent the last three months of her life learning sign in order to communicate with your girlfriend?"

From the tone of Alice's voice, it was clear she was teasing, but my face grew instantly serious.

"Alice, I..." I tried to continue, but I found myself getting suddenly choked up. I wasn't sure what had come over me tonight, but my emotions were getting the best of me. I turned away from her, embarrassed.

"Hey," Alice said, reaching out to touch my arm. Strong feelings of gratitude swelled inside of me and I laughed a little, shaking my head at my own ridiculousness.

"Thank you," I said, glancing back in Alice's direction. I held her gaze for a moment, hoping she could see how sincere I was before turning my attention back to the road.

"You're welcome."

"I still can't believe you did this," I mused, and my sister turned in her seat, angling her body towards mine so that I could see her better.

"Edward, it was obvious when you came home at Christmas that Bella was important to you. I have _never_ seen you so worried about making a good impression. I knew the moment you said Bella was deaf that I was going to enroll in a sign language class. I'd like to think you'd do the same for me," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Alice obviously didn't feel as if she'd done anything out of the ordinary, and I supposed that maybe she was right. If she had chosen to date someone who was deaf, I would have made an effort to learn sign too. Still, it was moments like these that reminded me how lucky I was to have the family I did. I knew not everyone would do what Alice had done for me.

"Well, thank you... again," I said. It didn't feel like enough, but it was all I had to offer.

"You're welcome... _again_," Alice teased. "And don't thank me anymore. Seriously, Edward, Bella's awesome. I really enjoyed dinner tonight."

"I'm glad," I said, not bothering to hide my satisfied smile. "I know she enjoyed it too."

Alice settled back in her seat, reaching the back of her hand up to her mouth and stifling a yawn. "I'm looking forward to spending time with her this week. We're planning on the beach tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah," I said with a smirk.

I made a right hand turn into my apartment complex and parked the car in my designated spot.

"Maybe we'll even run into a few sharks," I teased with a wink, recalling a time when we were younger that Alice had fled the water at the sight of fins, only to realize soon after they belonged to a pod of dolphins swimming by.

Alice scowled, and I chuckled softly. Hopping out of the car, I went to retrieve Alice's luggage from the trunk. It was good to have her there. And, like Alice, I was really looking forward to spending time together with my two girls this week.

**Endnotes:**

***Yikes! I'm showing my age. Way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, you could actually meet people at the gate in an airport. I didn't feel like reworking that particular scene, so consider it my right to exercise literary license. ;)**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	20. The Ties that Bind

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 20: The Ties that Bind**

As it turns out, Alice only spent one night at my apartment. She and Bella got along so well that we ended up spending every night thereafter at Bella's apartment. The day after Alice arrived the three of us went to the beach. It was a beautiful day in Tampa. Although the Gulf was still on the cool side, we enjoyed our time by the water nonetheless. Alice and Bella spent most of the day sunbathing, and I spent most of the day ogling Bella. I couldn't help it. Her tiny blue bikini fit her perfectly, accentuating all the right spots and leaving nothing to the imagination. She was the very definition of sexy, and if Alice hadn't been there, I would have been proposing that Bella and I do much more than just lay together under the warm sun.

Returning home from a long day, Bella suggested we order pizza, and after showering and changing into comfortable clothes, we all sat down together in the middle of her living room floor. I had to laugh at Alice, who was attempting to sign while she ate. It wasn't quite working out for her, and Bella was in stitches across from her, her eyes tracking Alice's breadstick as she waved it about in the air.

"Put the bread down before you douse one of us in sauce," I laughed, and Alice turned frustrated eyes on me. She brought the breadstick perpendicular to her sealed lips, and the message was clear; she wanted me to shut the hell up and 'speak' in sign.

This was something she'd come up with this morning on the way to the beach. She wanted the three of us to communicate solely in sign, no exceptions. I'd raised a brow at her suggestion, but I was certainly game. Bella was amused and clearly touched by Alice's grand efforts to learn sign. She was also more than patient with the both of us as we fumbled our way through conversations sans iPads and with sealed lips.

_*I want you to know, I'm so grateful you're learning sign,*_ Bella signed to Alice once we'd eaten the last slice of pizza. Thankfully, Alice had ceased waving her food around in the air, and we had all managed to avoid getting pelted by drops of pasta sauce.

Alice shrugged her shoulders at Bella's comment, indicating it wasn't really a big deal to her.

_{I knew from the moment Edward told me about you that I was going to learn. I could see he was set on winning your heart, and Edward generally gets what he wants,} _Alice signed with a smirk.

Bella raised both her brows in an 'oh really' type of expression before gesturing to Alice to continue. Alice turned in my direction, winking at me, and I chuckled softly. I knew exactly what story she was going to tell and there was no use trying to stop her. She would tell it regardless of whether or not I wanted her to, and at the end of the day, I had a good sense of humor. I could laugh at myself when necessary, and it would most definitely be necessary tonight.

_{So, when Edward was a sophomore in high school, he had a huge crush on a girl named Kate,} _Alice began with an eager smile._ {She was popular and beautiful, but she was a senior and also happened to be dating the captain of the football team.}_

Alice paused for a moment and Bella looked in my direction. She smirked at me, rubbing her hands together in anticipation, clearly looking forward to *hearing* more.

_{I was in the same grade as Kate's younger sister, Irina,} _Alice continued._ {She was kind of a misfit, and the two of us didn't have anything in common, but Edward decided I needed to befriend her.}_

_*He used you to try and get to Kate?*_ Bella signed, amused.

_{Something like that,} _Alice replied_. {Although it was more along the lines of acting as a spy.}_

_ *A spy?*_

Bella glanced back in my direction, and I rolled my eyes. My sister certainly had a flair for the dramatic. Of course, everything she was saying _was_ true.

_{Yes, a spy,} _Alice reiterated._ {Kate and Irina were very wealthy, and they lived in a mansion on a hill. Edward wanted to know which bedroom was Kate's, so he enlisted my help.}_

At that, Alice snickered, and Bella fixed me with a bemused gaze. Not having any reasonable defense, I threw my hands in the air in a 'what can you do' type of gesture. I was a teenage boy then after all, and I had my eyes set on Kate. Bella giggled, rolling her eyes a little before reaching over and squeezing my arm. It seemed my antics didn't bother her, which was a relief.

_*Did you find out?*_ Bella asked, turning her attention back to Alice, and Alice nodded.

_{I did.} _Alice paused then, growing suddenly quiet, her face set in a solemn expression._ {But at great personal cost to myself.}_

I noticed that Bella appeared genuinely concerned by Alice's sudden change in demeanor, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Again. Alice was really laying it on thick tonight.

_*What happened?*_ Bella wondered, her face now drawn tight with worry. She was hanging on Alice's every word, and I wondered, not for the first time, why my sister had never considered a career in theater.

_{After spending several weeks hanging out with Irina at school, I was finally invited to spend the night at her house. Imagine my surprise when I walked in her room and discovered she collected snakes!} _Alice shuddered at the memory, and Bella looked on at her in disbelief.

_ *Snakes?*_

_{Yes, snakes! And one of them happened to get loose that night! It slithered into bed with me, and I woke up when it began coiling itself around my leg!}_

By now, both Bella and Alice looked completely horrified, but while I understood that Alice had been slightly traumatized by what happened, she _was_ being a little dramatic. Yes, she'd suffered some, but the truth of the matter was she got me back good.

_I think now is a good time for me to finish telling this story_, I signed, interrupting Alice before she had a chance to begin signing again. She moved to protest, but I held up my hand stopping her. Alice sighed in resignation before starting to giggle, no doubt remembering what happened next.

_So, Alice came home from Kate's the next morning, and she never mentioned what happened. Instead, she told me she'd had a good time, also telling me which window to stand outside of the following evening. I had my plan all laid out. I would wait until after dark before sneaking onto Kate's property and standing below her bedroom window, throwing a stone to catch her attention before serenading her with my guitar._

_*Wow, you really lay it on thick, don't you?*_ Bella signed with a grin. _*What did Kate think of your Casanova routine?*_

_Casanova?_ I signed, clutching my heart and feigning hurt. I reached out to pinch Bella on the thigh and she swatted my hand away.

_*I call them like I see them,*_ she signed with a shrug, and I pinched her thigh again. Harder. She gasped and smacked my arm, but before she could take things any further I threw my hands in the air in surrender.

_Anyway, I don't know what Kate thought of my routine. _

Bella furrowed her brows in question then, silently asking me why.

_I never did get to play for her,_ I signed in response.

_*Because she never came to the window?*_ Bella wondered, and I shook my head.

_No. Because Alice sent me to the wrong room. _

Silence fell across the living room. Bella peered in Alice's direction before staring back at me.

_ *Whose room did she send you to?* _she finally asked.

_Kate's parents',_ I deadpanned, and Bella gasped. Turning in Alice's direction, she gaped at her in shock, but Alice only giggled. As far as she was concerned, justice had been served.

_*What happened next?*_ Bella eagerly asked, barely able to contain her curiosity.

I chuckled softly at the memory.

_I threw a few stones, but nobody came to the window, so I picked up a larger rock._

"It was a boulder, Edward!" Alice suddenly cried, splitting the quiet of the room and temporarily forgetting her own rule of silence. Flustered, she waved her hand in front of Bella, catching her attention. She then went on to explain in great detail the exact dimensions of the rock I'd thrown. Although I didn't remember it being quite so large, it _had_ crashed through Kate's parents' window. Bella could hardly believe it, but that was only the start.

_The rock hit Kate's father in the head,_ I explained, and by now Bella's face was permanently painted with disbelief. _He stumbled out of bed and inadvertently tripped and fell, cutting open his forehead on the end table in the process._

_ *This is unbelievable,* _Bella signed while shaking her head. She was trying hard not to laugh, but she wasn't meeting with much success.

_I know, I know. But believe me; everything I'm telling you is true. Thankfully, my father was working in the ER that night. He was the one to treat Mr. Denali. It turns out the two of them knew one another from when they were kids. They belonged to the same Cub Scout troop, believe it or not. _

_*What are the chances of that?*_

_I don't know, but I'm thankful. It meant Mr. Denali didn't go so hard on me._

_*And what about Kate?*_

_ I started dating her several weeks later_, I signed with a wink.

Bella laughed quietly, gently shaking her head.

_*Do you always get what you want?*_ she asked.

Scooting a little to the left, I pulled her between my legs, wrapping my arms around her waist.

_Yes, I normally do,_ I signed in front of her once we were comfortably situated. I bent to kiss her neck, and she shivered a little as my lips made contact with her skin. Drawing my arms more tightly around her, she moved her head to the side to allow me easier passage. I continued to kiss along the smooth curve of her neck, oblivious to everything around me until Alice's hands started flapping around in front of us.

_{Hello! Remember me?}_ she signed in jest, interrupting my moment with Bella. Bella laughed softly.

_*Sorry,*_ she replied, although I didn't think that she was. Alice winked at her, letting us know she was only kidding.

_*Any more interesting stories to tell?*_ Bella asked as she settled back in my arms. Her back was pressed against my chest, and it occurred to me that my comprehension skills were improving because it wasn't difficult for me to understand her, even though I was watching her sign from behind.

_{Well, there was the time Edward convinced me that my mother would like it if I trimmed her shrubs into topiaries,}_ Alice offered, and I heard Bella gasp. Turning in my direction, she chastised me with her stare but all I could do was laugh. It was funny as hell back then and it was funny as hell now. I mean really, they were just bushes after all. They eventually grew back, even if it did take six months.

_{Then there was the time that Edward raided my bathroom cabinet and used up all of my good make-up for art class.}_

Bella furrowed her brows in confusion and Alice went on to explain. I had been instructed to use an alternative medium for my project, something other than paints, pencils or pastels, and Alice's make-up just happened to fit the bill. How was I supposed to know the blush alone cost fifty dollars? I saw that shit in Wal-Mart for much less than that. Bella laughed along with Alice, who had long since forgiven me. I chuckled softly too, but I was beginning to wonder how I had become the center of attention tonight. Not that I minded, but still...

_Hey, I may have done some crazy things, but I still think I was a pretty good brother, _I interjected, feigning hurt at Alice's selective memory. In a moment's time, my sister's mood shifted, her eyes softening as a wistful expression settled on her face.

_{You were,}_ she agreed with a nod of her head, her eyes temporarily losing focus as she reminisced about some long ago memory held dear. _{You were the best brother. You may have gotten me into all sorts of trouble,}_ she qualified, _{but you were the best brother.}_

I smiled at Alice, happy to hear she shared the same sentiment as me.

_{Did you know that Edward once drove straight through from Florida to Chicago just to take me to a dance?}_ Alice asked. Bella blinked a few times in succession, and I could see her doing the math in her head. It was a long fucking drive. She turned and cast a disbelieving glance in my direction just as Alice caught her attention.

_{I promise you he did. He was a freshman in college at the time. It was my senior prom, and Jasper came down with the chicken pox two days before. I remember calling Edward, completely devastated. I'd worked so hard to design my dress, and I really wanted to go, but I didn't want to go alone. As soon as Edward hung up the phone, he jumped in his car and drove straight to Chicago. He didn't even tell me he was coming. He just showed up on the doorstep two hours before prom started, with a tired, dopey grin on his face.}_

Alice finished telling her story while brushing tears from her face, and as I peered around Bella's shoulders, I could see that she was getting misty-eyed too. I realized this conversation had devolved into a sentimental story time, so I waved Alice off, telling her it was nothing.

_{It wasn't nothing, Edward,}_ Alice insisted. _{It's just you. It's who you are. You're willing to do anything for the ones you love.}_

Alice caught Bella's eyes then, with some sort of silent exchange taking place that ended up with both the girls in giggles. The rest of the evening played out in a similar fashion. Alice shared long forgotten memories from our past while Bella *listened* with rapt attention. Sometime after 1 a.m., I crawled onto the couch. When I pulled an old blanket over my head moments later, Bella and Alice were still sitting on the living room floor, signing away. A few moments passed, and Bella pulled back the cover, offering me a sheepish smile.

_*Sorry,*_ she signed. _*Are you ready for bed?*_

I smiled up at her, reaching out to smooth her hair from her face.

_It's okay. You two stay up and talk. _

_*Are you sure?*_

_Positive, _I signed. And I was. Nothing made me happier than to see my sister and my girlfriend getting to know each other.

_*Okay. Goodnight.* _

Bella bent over me, pressing her lips to mine before pulling the cover up to my chin and tucking me in. I smiled up at her before rolling on to my side. My eyes were heavy and soon I was fast asleep.

The week flew by with alarming speed. Our days were spent relaxing on the beach, with a mid-week trip to Busch Gardens, and our nights were spent hanging out in Bella's apartment. We went into Ybor City several times, one of which included me escorting two very tipsy girls home in the backseat of my car. It had been hard not to laugh at Bella teaching Alice how to swear in sign, but when Total Eclipse of the Heart came on the radio and Alice started signing along, I couldn't hold back any longer. Bella was familiar with the song, and she joined in, giggling at Alice's egregious errors while patiently correcting her.

By the time Friday rolled around, Bella had to spend the day at school. She wanted to prepare lesson plans for her class on Monday, even though Alice tried to twist her arm and convince her otherwise. She was leaving the following day, so today was our last day to spend time together. I suspected this was part of Bella's decision to go to school; she wanted to give Alice and me some time together alone. While this wasn't necessary, I appreciated the gesture. Besides, we had plans to cook out with Emmett later on, and Bella promised to see us then.

Alice and I headed into Clearwater Beach before lunch, although we didn't have plans to go to the beach. Instead, we grabbed a couple of sandwiches at a small cafe overlooking the water. Afterwards, Alice asked if we could browse the shops for a new, sea-themed charm for her Pandora bracelet.

"It's been so good having you here," I said to her as we strolled side by side past souvenir shops selling everything from sand dollars to flip-flops to tacky tees emblazoned with Clearwater Beach. Alice swung sideways, nudging me lightly in the arm.

"I've enjoyed it. I can't wait to tell Mom and Dad all about Bella."

"I'm excited for them to meet her at Graduation," I commented before admitting I was a little nervous.

"Why?"

Alice turned her head in my direction, her eyes rimmed with curiosity.

"Well, I'm still not sure Mom's entirely convinced that Bella is the best thing for me," I explained, choosing my words carefully. "We haven't talked much about her since I left, so I really don't know."

"Does it matter?" Alice wondered.

She tugged on my elbow, leading me into a small jewelry boutique. It looked to be upscale, and Alice made a beeline for the Pandora display.

"No," I answered her without even giving it a second thought. "It doesn't. I'm with Bella now, and nothing's going to change that. But it would be nice if everyone was as supportive as you."

"What makes you think they're not?"

"What are you, the devil's advocate?" I teased, and Alice just shrugged her shoulders.

"It's not that," she laughed. "I just think you worry too much. Yes, mom was concerned about your ability to juggle a relationship and school, but you've proved yourself entirely capable," she explained. "You always did do well with a full plate, Mr. Overachiever."

I snorted out a laugh at that comment.

"But seriously?" Alice reached out and lightly gripped my arm as her sympathetic eyes met mine. "I do understand what you're saying, Edward, and I promise you they're going to love her. Don't fret about it, okay? Now help me pick out a charm."

Alice winked at me and gave my arm a gentle squeeze before turning her full attention to the shockingly large display of charms. I tried, but failed, to help her select one. Every suggestion I made, she huffed at me and waved me off. After spending ten endlessly long minutes loitering by her side, I decided to wander around and see what else the store had to offer.

I had actually been thinking of buying Bella a necklace to mark our sixth month anniversary of meeting each other, which would fall on the 30th of the following month, and this store seemed as good a place as any to do that. I wasn't sure that buying jewelry was the appropriate way to commemorate the occasion, but I wanted to do something, and flowers just didn't seem Bella's style. Neither did jewelry necessarily; it hadn't escaped my notice that she didn't wear much of it. But that was part of the appeal to me. I wanted to buy Bella something she wouldn't normally buy for herself. I also wanted her to wear something that _I'd_ given her. In short, I wanted the world to know she was mine.

Finding Bella a necklace proved more difficult than I thought. There were so many styles to choose from, and I obsessed over finding one that was perfect for her. I probably looked at twenty or more possibilities before one finally caught my eye. It was a platinum and diamond encrusted pendant, and when the sales lady removed it from the display case and rested it in the palm of my hand, I knew without a doubt that it was the one.

"It's perfect," Alice murmured, approaching me from behind.

"You think so?"

My voice sounded uncharacteristically small and uncertain, and I cleared my throat, hoping she hadn't noticed.

"Is that how you feel?" she quietly prompted, and I could do nothing other than nod my head and smile. "Then it's perfect, Edward. She'll love it."

Alice smiled at me, and I knew I would buy the pendant for Bella. I also knew that I wouldn't be able to wait a month to give it to her. I was anxious to give it to her now, but the moment had to be just right. I would wait until Alice went home and plan our date.

Alice and I made our purchases, and after making a mess of ourselves eating soft serve ice-cream under the blazing hot sun, we headed home. Emmett was already there, with a grill brush in hand, scrubbing the charred residue off the grill from our cookout several weeks before. I could see him through the sliding glass doors, standing on the patio, and much to my surprise, Rose stood by his side.

"Oh! I didn't realize Rose would be here tonight!" Alice exclaimed.

"Neither did I," I mumbled in irritation.

What the fuck was Emmett thinking? Ever since the last BBQ things had been tense between Rose and me. I had no idea why she was here tonight.

"Edward? Is everything okay?"

Alice looked up at me in question, and I bit my tongue. I realized she had no idea about the fiasco the last BBQ had been, and I didn't want to fill her in just now. She knew nothing of my issues with Rose, and it was best to keep it that way. For tonight, anyway.

"Everything's fine. It's just more complicated for Bella when there's a lot of non-signing people around," I replied, offering her what was a best, a half-truth.

Before Alice even replied, I regretted my words. I shouldn't have used Bella as an excuse.

"You underestimate her, Edward," Alice gently scolded, looking me squarely in the eye. "I mean, she's been around hearing people her entire life, right? I think she'll survive one small cookout," she teased before walking around me to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. "Lighten up, okay?"

With that, Alice exited the kitchen, heading out onto the patio and leaving me alone to consider what she'd said. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the sliding glass door click open, and I looked up to see none other than Rose making her way in my direction. She strolled through the living room, stopping short at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Hey," she greeted me, her tone of voice surprisingly friendly.

"Hey," I answered back, wary. She reminded me too much of Jessica, even though I knew it wasn't a fair comparison. I just didn't trust her; not after the comments she'd made the last time we were together.

Rose eyed me cautiously before advancing in my direction.

"Can we talk?"

"What do we have to talk about?" I wondered out loud, causing Rose to sigh.

"I suppose I deserved that."

"Listen, Rose. Now's not the time to…"

She held up her hand, stopping me.

"Edward, please. Just hear me out, okay? I don't want to argue with you. Emmett invited me over tonight because he thought I might like to see Alice before she left. That's all. I hope that's all right."

I was quiet for a moment before speaking.

"Well, I guess that depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not you can treat Bella with respect," I stated bluntly. I wasn't rude about it, but I definitely wanted to make my point.

"I thought we already covered this," Rose said with an exaggerated sigh, as if I didn't have any right to be concerned."The morning after the last cookout, remember?"

"I remember," I replied with a nod of my head. "But the four of us haven't been together since, so I thought it would be best if I reminded you."

"Well then, consider me reminded," Rose stated, and I couldn't be sure, but it almost sounded as if she was teasing me, inwardly rolling her eyes.

"I'm not kidding, Rose," I said, feeling my heart rate spike in my chest. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to feel uncomfortable tonight. I'd put her through that once before and I didn't intend on doing it again.

Rose's expression sobered and she leveled her eyes at me, acknowledging my warning with a silent nod.

"I understand, Edward."

"Okay," I said, feeling as if I'd gotten my point across.

We stood there uncomfortably for a few moments more before Rose turned and walked back outside.

When Bella walked through the door nearly an hour later, she was full of profuse apologies for being late. She had bumped into Jake, who had a question about a class she had taken in a previous semester, and one thing had led to another causing her to be late. I tried hard to smile and pretend that I didn't care, but the truth was I found myself mildly annoyed that she had been delayed due to Jake.

Kissing her definitely helped ease my jealousy.

_*You taste like cilantro,*_ she commented, signing with her right hand while keeping her left arm wrapped securely around my waist.

"I made fresh salsa," I said, smiling when Bella licked her lips in excitement. Unable to resist, I leaned in and kissed her again. While we were otherwise occupied, I snuck my hand into the chip bowl on the counter nearby, grabbing a chip and dipping it into the salsa. When Bella pulled away, I popped the chip into her mouth, taking her by surprise. She laughed as she attempted to chew without making a mess, and that's when Rose chose to make an appearance. I glared at her, annoyed by the interruption, but my irritation quickly turned to surprise when Rose not only smiled and waved at Bella, but also attempted to sign.

_{How are you?}_ she asked, her hands moving tentatively in the air. As if on cue, Emmett appeared behind her, murmuring assurances in her ear.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged. "Just like that."

To say I was shocked by the effort Rose was making was quite literally the understatement of the century. I hadn't been expecting this, and I was left speechless, gawking at Rose as if she'd grown a third eye. Bella, ever the composed one in our relationship, stepped in on our behalf. It never ceased to amaze me how she was _never_ lost for words.

_*I'm fine, Rose, how are you?*_ she replied with a warm smile. Rose studied Bella's hands intently, but she appeared flustered, so Emmett came to her rescue.

"She said she was fine and asked how you are," Emmett explained with a proud grin.

He was obviously pleased with himself, and I had to say, I was impressed. Where was all this coming from? I didn't linger too long on that thought. In the end, all that mattered was both he and Rose were finally making an effort to include Bella.

I looked at Rose, watching her as she very carefully signed the word _fine_, finally answering Bella's question. She smiled nervously, but Bella jumped in, reassuring her she was doing fine. Just then, Alice appeared in the kitchen.

_{Hey, why don't we take Rose into the living room and help her practice the alphabet?}_ she suggested, signing and speaking at the same time.

Bella looked to Rose, who smiled back at her in return.

_*I'd be happy to,*_ Bella replied. _*What do you think, Rose?*_ I translated for Bella, and Rose nodded her head, indicating she'd like that. With that, the three girls left Emmett and me to finish preparations for dinner while they practiced sign language together in the living room.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and good times. The cookout went much smoother than our last, with everybody contributing to the conversation. However, despite the fact that Alice relaxed her rule of 'no talking', she stuck mostly to signing. This meant that she, Bella and I outnumbered Emmett and Rose. The three of us tried to include them in all our conversations, but as the evening progressed, I couldn't help but notice there were times when they were left out. And I wasn't sure whether or not I saw understanding etched on Rose's face partway through the night, but at the very minimum, I knew she had a better idea what Bella had to go through on a regular basis. This seemed to cause her to soften towards Bella even more.

By the end of the evening, when Alice suggested a game of Guesstures, I was cautiously optimistic that the antagonism between Rose and Bella had finally come to an end. Rose chose Bella to be her partner, and Bella happily obliged. Of course, Rose was very competitive, and Bella was obviously the perfect pick for that particular game, but I tried to give Rose the benefit of the doubt and assume she had chosen Bella for other reasons.

It was a bittersweet farewell when Bella finally announced it was time to call it a night. Alice had an early morning flight, and I had to be at the hospital directly after dropping her off, so for the first time in nearly a week, I kissed Bella goodnight at my door. I gave her and Alice some time to themselves to say goodbye then, and when I peeked out the kitchen window, I saw that they were tightly embracing. Alice smiled warmly at Bella when she let go, leaving her with promises to e-mail as soon as she got home. My heart warmed over knowing my sister and Bella were now such good friends.

The following morning, I dropped Alice at Tampa International at half past seven.

"Thanks again for everything," she said as she drew me into a hug.

"It's me who should be thanking you," I replied, squeezing her back tightly.

"Nonsense," she argued. "You've given me a new friend, and for that I'll forever be grateful." Alice winked at me and I smiled down at her.

"So, when are you going to give Bella her necklace?" she asked, craftily changing the subject.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe tonight, but I want to plan something special, so maybe not. I don't want to wait too long though."

"I wouldn't," Alice agreed. "And just remember," she said, pulling me to her for one final hug, "It's the sentiment that counts. Don't get hung up on the details, okay? She's going to love it, I promise."

"Thanks, Short Stuff."

I ruffled her hair and she frowned.

"Stop that. I'm not a little kid anymore," she protested in a half-hearted whine, but her smile was big and grand on her face, telling me she really liked it.

"Safe flight," I murmured, kissing her temple before she headed through security to her gate, and with a small wave over the back of her shoulder, Alice disappeared into the crowd.

**Endnotes:**

***Well, who would have ever guessed I could write an entire chapter of fluff? Hard to believe. ;) **

***I teleported us back to modern day this chapter. Edward left Alice at Security this time around, lol.**

**Rec: **

**I am crazy wild about Jaxington's Under These Lights. I was a fool for her other story Hallett Hall, and this newest story of hers is just as good. It's angsty. Really angsty. But her Edward is all sorts of amazing. She has seriously written my top two favorite Edwards in this Fandom. Anyway, check it out. If you like angst, you won't be disappointed. Even if you don't like angst, it's still worth checking out. There's a certain honesty to her writing that really tugs at your heart. And her characters grow in such amazing ways from the start to the finish of her stories. **

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	21. Declarations

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 21 - Declarations**

An interesting thing happened when Alice visited. Bella and I discovered that it really was possible to communicate effectively without the iPad. Sometimes it took us longer than usual to have an intelligent conversation, and sometimes there were misunderstandings, but with hard work and determination on my part and a hell of a lot of patience on Bella's, we muddled through. I couldn't even begin to verbalize how liberating it was, to be able to communicate with my girlfriend in her own language without having to reach for a computer every other sentence. Forcing ourselves to communicate solely in sign was the best thing we could have done to help my fluency along.

It was Thursday night, close to a week after Alice left, and I was planning a dinner for Bella the following evening. I was going to give her the pendant I had picked out while Alice was in town along with a simple platinum chain I'd purchased to go along with it. I was surprisingly calm about the whole event, which only served to reassure me I was doing the right thing.

A text came through from Bella, causing me to panic a little.

***What are you up to?***

I didn't want to lie, but I couldn't exactly tell her I was searching for the perfect dessert. There was a high probability of failure for this mission, but I wanted to try nonetheless. Anybody could buy a dessert from a pastry shop, but I wanted to show Bella she was worth the effort to do more.

**Doing some research online.** **You?**

I typed my response, feeling pretty good about myself. I hadn't lied, after all.

** *Sitting in class, waiting on the professor to arrive. I'm BORED!***

** I wish you were here with me.**

** *Sigh. Me too.***

** Tomorrow night, right? It's been too long.**

** *5 days. I know.***

** I'm sorry. School was hell this week. **

** *Must have been for you to skip my class. ;)***

** Believe me - it was unavoidable. Medical Ethics study group. Big exam coming up.**

** *I know. It's okay.***

** Am I in a lot of trouble? **

** *Guess that depends.***

** On what?**

** *On what you're planning to do to make it up to me...***

** I like the sound of that…**

** *Me too. ;) Gotta run. Professor's here.***

** Okay. I miss you.**

** *I miss you too, Green Eyes.***

I set my phone down on the counter, continuing with my research. I was slightly overwhelmed by my choices and was about to give my mother a call when Emmett and Rose stepped through the door.

"Hey, bro, what's up?"

"I'm trying to decide on a dessert to make for Bella," I mumbled, scanning over a recipe for pavlova. "I'm cooking dinner for her tomorrow night."

Emmett barked out a laugh, well aware of the fact that desserts were not my forte. I could prepare a steak rivaling a five star restaurant, but I was hopeless when it came to baking.

"All I can say is good luck with that. Maybe Rose has a suggestion."

He opened the door to his bedroom, swiftly swatting her on the ass as he passed through. "I'll be right out, baby."

Rose jumped, narrowing her eyes at Emmett in annoyance, but the smile that tugged at her lips told me she didn't really mind. Turning in my direction, she walked over to where I stood in the kitchen, peering over my shoulder at my iPad.

"Oh, I definitely wouldn't mess with anything like that," she commented, offering me some unsolicited advice. "Do you know how hard it is to make a good meringue?"

Meringue? I didn't even know what that was.

"What's a meringue?"

"It's essentially whipped egg whites and sugar - but trust me, it's a bitch to make."

"Bella likes fresh fruit. The kiwis and strawberries on top look good," I said, pointing to the picture online and defending my choice.

"Pavlova _is_ delicious," Rose agreed, "but there's not a chance in hell you won't screw it up."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered, deciding to momentarily shelve the pavlova idea in favor of finding something that didn't require as much skill.

"Why not make something like a crème brûlée?" Rose wondered out loud a few moments later when it was clear I was completely overwhelmed by my choices. "It's moderately difficult, so you'll definitely impress her, and you could top it with fresh fruit like the pavlova."

"I like crème brûlée," I said, turning to face her. "How difficult is moderately difficult?"

"Well, it's kind of a process," Rose admitted, "but I know a recipe that is all but foolproof. You just need to allow enough time for it to set."

I thought about it for a moment before deciding that crème brûlée sounded like my best option. I only hoped Rose's fool proof recipe was as easy to follow as she implied.

"I'm going shopping tomorrow morning. Do you think you can get it to me later tonight?"

Rose nodded her head.

"Sure. Emmett and I are going out to eat. I'll e-mail it when we get back."

"Great," I said, relieved to have taken care of the issue and grateful to Rose for her help. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Rose smiled at me before grabbing a copy of Mechanical Engineering from the counter and going to sit in the living room. Closing my iPad, I followed along behind her, taking a seat across from her in my favorite Lazy Boy.

"Hey, Rose? Can I ask you a question?"

Peering up at me from behind her magazine, Rose eyed me warily for a moment before humming an affirmative response.

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

This was something I'd been wondering about ever since the cookout last weekend. While I was happy that Rose was now putting forth an effort to get to know Bella, I didn't understand what had changed to make that happen. I worried that maybe Emmett had pushed her into the decision, and while there wasn't necessarily anything wrong with that, I didn't want Rose to tolerate Bella simply for the sake of someone else. I wanted her to get to know Bella because it was something she desired for herself.

Rose's face grew thoughtful as she carefully considered my words. A few moments passed before she finally set her magazine down and gave me her full attention.

"That's not a simple question, Edward, and I don't really have a simple answer," she began. "But I suppose you could say that Emmett helped me to realize that I was being unfair to both you and Bella for all the wrong reasons."

"What _were_ your reasons?" I wondered aloud, still at a loss for why Rose had behaved so callously these past few months. I understood that she wasn't exactly the most personable of individuals, but even for her, her behavior had been extreme.

Rose sighed, and I could tell that my questions were making her uncomfortable, but it was also apparent she was willing to try to answer them for me, which I appreciated.

"I wish I could come up with a better excuse, but in the end, I'd be lying if I said it didn't come down to my sister."

Tanya. I suspected she was at the root of the issue, but it was still hard for me to believe that Rose had taken my disinterest in her sister so personally. I had been upfront with Tanya from the beginning regarding my feelings for her, and both she and I were fine with remaining just friends. Why couldn't Rose just accept that?

"You were upset because I chose to date Bella instead." It wasn't a question, rather a statement of fact.

Rose swallowed hard then nodded in agreement.

"Rose," I sighed. "That's incredibly unfair…"

"I know," she interrupted me softly, stopping me before I could continue. "I know it was wrong of me, but please try to understand my position. Tanya's my baby sister, Edward, and I love her with all my heart. She's a good girl, but somehow she always seems to end up with the wrong guys. I know that you and I tend to argue a lot, but that doesn't change the fact I think you're a good person. I know you would have treated her right, and I sort of built up the possibility of the two of you in my head without ever stopping to consider whether or not it's what you wanted. I have a tendency to do that," she laughed rather humorlessly, "to make decisions for others on their behalf. But I understand now that you don't feel that way about her and never have. It was wrong of me to continue to push for something you clearly weren't interested in. For that I apologize."

"You have a lot more to apologize for than just that, Rose," I pointed out. I appreciated her attempt at smoothing things over, but I wasn't letting her off the hook that easily. "You really hurt Bella's feelings with the way you treated her, and I'm not too proud to admit you hurt mine too. I get that you want the best for Tanya, but your behavior was out of line. I've _always_ supported you and Emmett, and I expected the same out of you. Instead, you made Bella and I both feel awkward around the very people we should feel most comfortable with."

To my surprise, Rose didn't hesitate to agree.

"You're right," she said, bowing her head so that her eyes were no longer level with mine. She seemed almost ashamed, which was very uncharacteristic of her. "I didn't treat either one of you very nicely. The truth is, I was upset with you, but I ended up taking most of it out on Bella."

"You did," I said in agreement.

"For what it's worth, it wasn't intentional," Rose continued quietly. "I didn't purposely set out to hurt her. It was just hard for me to understand why you'd make such an effort to date someone who's so different from you when in my mind, Tanya was a perfect match."

"The thing is, Rose, you don't _have_ to understand. It's my life, not yours. And for the record, being with Bella is the most effortless thing I've ever done. You want to know what actually takes effort?"

Rose looked up at me, and I held her gaze for a beat before telling her.

"Trying to convince the people that are most important in my life that Bella is no different than you and me."

Rose sucked in a short breath, having the decency to look appropriately chagrined by my comment. She knew my statement referred mainly to her, but in all fairness, it extended to Emmett and even my mother to some extent.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You're right. I never gave Bella a chance, and that wasn't fair of me. I wish I could rewind time and change the way I've behaved, but I can't. I can only try to make things right today. And I promise you, that's my intention from here on out. I'm not promising you that I'll learn to sign, but I do promise to do my best to include Bella whenever we're all together."

"That's a start, Rose, and really, it's all I'm asking. It's all I've _ever_ asked. I don't expect you to learn sign language, but I do think that if you just give Bella a chance, you'll see that it isn't necessary to know sign language to communicate with her. Don't you remember how well we all got along last weekend?"

Rose nodded her head.

"It's not always about what we say to each other but how we treat each other instead," I continued. "It's totally cliché, but actions really do speak louder than words. Just the simple act of sitting together and watching a movie with subtitles would be meaningful to both me and Bella. No verbal communication is necessary for that."

"I hear you," Rose whispered, and looking on at her, studying the thoughtful lines of her face as she listened to what I had to say, I really felt that she did.

Offering her a half smile, I scrubbed my face with my hands and decided that we had probably hashed this matter out as much as we needed to tonight. I was pretty sure we understood each other better now, and I was hopeful that as a result, Rose and Bella would eventually come to be good friends.

"Thank you," I said, feeling genuinely grateful to have this burden lifted off my shoulders. I had been carrying it around with me for months now, and it felt good to finally let it go.

"You're welcome," Rose replied. She stood then, walking over to me and tugging me up by the hand before pulling me into a hug. Her surprising display of affection caught me off guard, but when she squeezed me tightly to her, I knew it was her way of apologizing for the past few months. "Thank _you_ for not kicking my ass clear across Tampa," she laughed against my shoulder.

I chuckled softly, giving her a gentle squeeze in return.

"You're forgiven."

And I could honestly say that she was.

Less than twenty-four hours after talking things through with Rose, I found myself slaving away over a hot stove, cursing her under my breath. Whoever said that crème brûlée was easy to prepare was smoking crack. By some act of God, I'd managed to separate the egg yolks from the egg whites, afterwards successfully combining said yolks with heavy cream and freshly scraped vanilla bean. I wasn't as confident in my ability to cook the resulting mixture in four small ramekins currently positioned in a shallow pool of water in a pot atop the stove. I also wasn't as confident in my ability to wield a blowtorch, but apparently this would be necessary to caramelize the sugar once the custard had set.

Keeping a careful eye on my desert, I set to work chopping vegetables while simultaneously trying to keep my nerves at bay. I knew I didn't have anything to be anxious about, but that didn't stop me from worrying. I couldn't help but wonder what Bella would think of her gift, including whether or not she would return the sentiment.

I hoped so. God, I fucking hoped so.

As if she were aware of my need for reassurance, she texted me on the spot, causing me to smile in relief.

** *Hey, Green Eyes. T minus 4 hours and counting.***

I smiled at Bella's words. Actually, I smiled like a crazy fool every time she texted me, which only served to remind me how right she was for me.

** Still too long for me.**

** *Me too. I'm warning you, you'd better be prepared.***

** Oh yeah? For what?**

** *You owe me, remember?***

** I seem to have a vague recollection...**

** *Hey, now, don't tease. I'm sure you're just as anxious to see me as I am to see you. At least, I hope you are…***

I paused a moment, taken a little off guard by Bella's sudden and unexpected display of insecurity. _Of course_ I was anxious to see her. Jesus, we'd been apart for nearly a week, and it was killing me, not to mention my right hand.

** Baby, you know I am. How could you even think differently?**

** *I'm sorry. I've just really missed you this week.* **

** Me too, sweetheart, me too. **

I hit send without giving a second thought to the sentiment I'd just assigned Bella. It wasn't one I had used before, but when she texted me back with multiple smiley faces, I knew that she more than approved.

***So I'll see you later tonight at my place?***

** I've got your key in my pocket. **

** *It won't be soon enough.***

**I promise you it will be worth the wait. ;) See you soon. **

I let myself into Bella's apartment later that evening, after picking up two USDA Prime filets from the butcher. They were the last thing I needed to complete our meal. I had brought everything else with me, including two crème brûlées that were currently tucked safely inside of a cooler.

After placing our dessert in Bella's refrigerator, a sudden thought occurred to me, and I ran outside to check and see if her grill had enough propane to cook the steaks. This had been an oversight on my part, and I was about to panic, thinking I would have to run to the gas station in order to fill the tank when I determined that wouldn't be necessary. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly in relief. I really needed to calm down before I drove myself crazy. Reaching into my pocket, I felt around for the tiny velvet box I knew was there and ran my fingers over it, reminding myself what this night was all about. Just then, Bella walked through the front door. She searched for a moment before her eyes met mine, and when they did, a magnificent smile illuminated her face.

In a flash I was back inside. I had missed Bella so fucking much this past week that I couldn't close the distance between us fast enough. She obviously felt the same because she leapt into my arms, the force of her body slamming into mine and causing me to stumble backwards a bit. Bella wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me in response, laughing as I struggled to regain my footing, but neither one of us were laughing moments later when our mouths came crashing together. All the longing and desire I'd been forced to suppress all week long came rushing to the surface, and I was helpless to do anything but give into it.

One hour was too long, one day nearly intolerable. But one week was simply an impossible amount of time to be parted from the one you loved…

"God, I fucking missed you," I mumbled against Bella's mouth, biting down softly on her lower lip. I was surprised when she pulled away from me, quickly signing that she'd missed me too, but before I had a chance to say anything, her hands were in my hair, eagerly pulling my face back to hers.

I gently pushed her away.

"How did you know?" I wondered.

I was continually amazed by Bella's ability to understand nearly every word I said despite the fact she couldn't hear. She had seemingly just 'read' my lips, even though they had been pressed against hers.

_*Lucky guess,*_ she replied with a playful smirk before telling me to shut up and kiss her.

Bella didn't have to ask me twice. I got lost in her kiss as I gently lowered her feet to the ground. Walking her backward until she was flush against the wall, I pressed into her, capturing her sighs in my mouth as her hands twisted up into my hair. The sensation was fucking amazing, and I closed my eyes, focusing solely on the feelings of desire licking through me.

I kissed Bella long and hard, my mouth moving in slow motion against hers, but soon our bodies were begging for more, so I slipped my fingers beneath the hem of her shirt, inching them slowly upwards. Bella gasped when my thumbs brushed across the fabric of her bra, and I smirked as her nipples rose to attention underneath. It was all I could do not to bury my face between her breasts and take one into my mouth, but I had something else in mind I thought she might like more.

Pulling my mouth from Bella's, I stared down at her in wonder, at her face twisted tight in anticipation. Her shallow breaths and heavy eyes told me she wanted me, and in an instant, I was down on my knees in front of her. Bella's eyes opened wide in surprise when she realized what I was doing, and the guttural sigh that fell from her lips encouraged me in my actions. Licking my lips in anticipation, I reached out to slowly unfasten her jeans. Her heaving chest was a noticeable distraction, but when I sat back on my thighs, anchoring myself before her, I was instantly singularly focused.

"So fucking perfect," I whispered as my thumbs brushed softly back and forth against the baby soft skin of her hips. I could have sat there admiring her beauty for several more minutes, but Bella didn't have patience for that tonight. She knew what she wanted - my mouth on her _right now_- and her hands gently guided my head forward until my tongue was settled snugly between her thighs. She whimpered at the sensation, and I didn't even try to stifle my groan as I went to work loving her.

I made Bella feel good, so good. I took my time, fucking her with my fingers and tasting her with my mouth, relishing in every whimper and sigh I drew from her. It wasn't long before she fell apart around me, and when I sat back on my haunches, she immediately tugged me upwards, kissing me as if I was the air she needed to breathe. Soon her hands started to wander, and when she reached out to grip my rock hard erection through my incredibly uncomfortable pants, I released an involuntary hiss in response. Fuck, it felt so good to have her touch me like that, but it felt even better when she reached inside my boxers, slowly stroking me with one hand while winding the other into the hair at the nape of my neck.

"Yes," I moaned, following along with her as she awkwardly guided us towards her room. She continued to touch me, and I was afraid I might come in my pants when the back of her legs hit the edge of her bed and she released me. I watched as she shyly gazed up at me, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth, and then piece by piece, she slowly started undressing. Her shirt went first, followed by her bra, underwear and pants until she was standing naked before me. God, she was a vision, enough to make me tremble in wonder, and I reached out, ghosting my fingers down her cheek. It was times like these, when I was so lost in the moment that everything else around me ceased to exist, that I knew what Bella and I had was right.

_*Come,*_ she beckoned to me, pulling me with her as she lay back in the bed. She giggled softly when my fingers tickled up her waist, but her laughter soon turned to breathless sighs as I quickly removed my own clothes and slipped inside of her. Bella's chest rose and fell in labored breaths as I rocked my body languidly against hers, and as I stared into her eyes, moving rhythmically above her, all I could think of was how hopelessly in love with her I was.

I wanted to say it - more than anything else in that moment, but the timing wasn't right. It would ruin my surprise. So instead, I showed her with my body what she meant to me until I couldn't hold back any longer. With her hands holding me close to her and her eyes boring straight into my soul, I released inside of her with a satiated, breathless sigh. Bella followed soon after, arching her back in pleasure as she found her own sweet release.

After catching our breaths, Bella rolled to my side, and we lay together in bed for awhile, her body pressed snugly against mine. We were quiet at first, but soon Bella began tracing lazy circles around my belly button, and my stomach tensed, causing her to giggle.

_Be careful_, I warned, moving my arm from around her waist to loosely grip her hand. _You're playing with fire._

Bella chose to ignore me, pulling her hand free to reach down and gently stroke my returning erection.

_Aren't you hungry?_ I wondered with a laugh as I rolled on top of her, pinning her body underneath mine. Bella only smiled and shrugged her shoulders before rotating her hips upwards.

_*Hungry for something,*_ she replied before her hands wrapped firmly around my bottom. And this is why it took us near to nine to finally crawl out of bed, but I was certain that neither one of us cared.

After showering and dressing, we ate our dinner outside by the light of a full moon.

_*Who knew you were such a great cook?* _Bella commented while dragging a piece of steak through a puddle of béarnaise sauce. The light evening breeze blew her hair in her face, and I reached out, tucking it back behind her ear.

_Just wait till you see what I've got in store for dessert._

I wagged my brows and Bella arched hers in return, causing me to chuckle softly at her obvious misunderstanding.

_It's in the fridge_, I clarified, _though I'm open to other suggestions._

_ *I'm sure you are,* _Bella laughed_. * What did you make?* _

_Crème brûlée_.

I smiled proudly, quite pleased with my accomplishment. I was happy to see that Bella appeared duly impressed.

_*That's quite a feat. I don't think I've ever made a crème brûlée before.*_

_Trust me. It's a lot of work. Next time I think I'll stick with something simpler, but I wanted to prepare something special for you._

Bella set her plate aside, gazing warmly into my eyes.

_*Thank you,*_ she signed, reaching across the table to give my hand a gentle squeeze. _*Tonight has been… perfect.*_

_In every way,_ I agreed.

_*Hey,* _she signed, her face suddenly alight with excitement_. *Let's go to the beach!* _

_ What? _I laughed, completely taken off guard by her request. _The beach? As in Clearwater Beach? _

Bella jumped up from where she sat, moving quickly to my side. She situated herself in my lap, bringing her left arm around my shoulder to play with the hair at the nape of my neck.

_ *Clearwater or St. Pete, it doesn't matter.*_

I glanced down at my watch, noting the time. It was a little before ten, which was kind of late to be heading to the beach. I didn't mind going, but it would take a solid forty five minutes to get there and it hadn't exactly been a part of my plan…

_It's getting late,_ I pointed out.

_*But it's such a gorgeous night out.*_

Bella turned her face into the cool night breeze then, admiring the starlit sky. The moon shone brightly above us, and I watched as her hair danced about her face. The peaceful expression she wore warmed me all the way through, and I lay my hand on her thigh, gently rubbing it back and forth.

I couldn't deny her request, even if I'd wanted to.

_If you'd like to, we'll go_, I signed with a soft smile.

Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. The beach would be the perfect place for me to give Bella her pendant - much more romantic than her apartment. She smiled down at me in appreciation, adding a kiss of thanks to my lips before hopping down off my lap and starting to clear the dishes from the table.

_*I'll load the dishwasher, you bring out dessert, all right?*_

I nodded my head in reply.

After sharing a single serving of crème brûlée replete with seasonal berries, we set out for Clearwater Beach. Because traffic was light, the drive took less time than expected, and a half hour later we stood hand in hand on the beach. If I'd wondered before why Bella had wanted to come here tonight, I didn't wonder anymore. Staring out at the sea as the mighty waves crashed upon the moonlit shore, I couldn't imagine any place I'd rather be. Sand slipped between my toes, wind tickled my skin and the smell of salty ocean air surrounded me, awakening each of my senses.

When I turned to look at Bella, she was positively stunning, her body humming with excitement just like mine. Then she did something that took me entirely by surprise; she sunk to her knees and stretched forward, slowly splaying her hands out in front of her. Digging her fingers into the sand, her body stilled, the only remaining movement being the nearly imperceptible expansion and contraction of her chest as she inhaled and exhaled the surrounding air. She remained at rest for over a minute before I cleared my throat, causing her to look up at me and offer a bashful smile.

_What are you doing?_ I signed, smiling down at her in curiosity.

Bella didn't answer me with words. Instead, she tugged gently on my hand until I joined her by her side. Mimicking her position, I lowered my head to the ground. The sound of the waves crashing down upon the shore echoed in my ears, but it was the earth that trembled beneath me that most caught my attention. And in that moment, it was instantly clear what Bella was doing. She was listening to the ocean the only way she knew how, through the vibrations of the waves as they connected with the shore. I looked over at her, as thrilled by the sensation as she was, and found myself laughing more freely than I had in years.

_That's incredible, _I signed, shaking my head in wonder.

Bella nodded knowingly, a glimmer of exhilaration lighting her eyes. She took my hand in hers then, linking us together as we experienced the world on her terms. We stayed kneeling with our hands intertwined and our heads to the ground for several long minutes before I finally sat up, pulling Bella with me. She smiled at me as we seated ourselves across from each other, our legs folded together like pretzels, and I knew that there would never be a more perfect moment for me to give her my gift.

_*I have something for you,*_ I told her as I reached inside my pocket, withdrawing the small rectangular box.

Bella eyed me carefully, her brows pulling together in curiosity as she studied the object in my hand. I shifted closer to her so that our knees were touching, and, taking a deep breath, slid my fingers along the top of the box, tugging it open. Bella stared down at the pendant in awe, her hand traveling to her mouth as the breath caught in the back of her throat. Her eyes started to water at the sight of it, and for the second time since I'd known her, I watched as one tear followed by another silently slipped from her eyes. They were happy tears, splashing onto her fingers and into the box as her trembling hand reached out to touch the pendant. Her finger lovingly traced over the recognizable design, the ASL symbol for _I Love You_, and when her eyes finally found their way back up to mine, they were full of intensity second only to my own.

"I love you," I whispered, verbalizing the sentiment as my hand came up to cradle the side of Bella's face. She exhaled a soft, shaky sigh and ever so slowly, pulled her hand from her lap.

_*I love you too.*_

Watching her sign the words back to me caused me to release a breath I didn't even realize I was holding, though it wasn't relief that caused me to do so; I had known for quite some time that what Bella and I shared could only be labeled as love. What moved me so was the knowledge that I had won the heart of the woman I had never even known I needed, and now that I had her I didn't intend on ever letting her go.

My thumb gingerly stroked across the smooth skin of her cheek as I leaned forward and rested my forehead against hers. Soon our mouths were melded together, and I kissed her deeply, there by the ocean, surrounded by the deep, dark night. Her arms wound around me, her hands gently caressing the back of my neck, but when I tried to roll over and lay down with her, she stopped me, holding her necklace out in front of her.

_*Will you?*_ she asked with nothing more than a questioning gaze, and I nodded in response, taking the token of my love from her hands. Moving behind her, I took care to pull her hair to the side before gingerly stringing the necklace around her neck. Afterwards, I bent to kiss either shoulder, and she shivered under my touch, her skin coming alive at the feel of my lips. This time when I pulled her down on top of me, she didn't try to resist.

"I love you," I said, again, because I could. And now that I could, I planned on telling her all the time. I wanted Bella to feel forever beloved and cherished, all the things she so deserved to be. Without pause, her hand hovered above me, returning the declaration in kind, and I reached up, clasping it in mine and tugging it down to my heart. It beat heavy and hard inside of my chest, and Bella smiled at the feel of it as she leaned in to press her lips to mine.

We lay together under the stars until well past midnight when the wind and the cold became too much. Bella fell asleep in the car on the ride home, and I woke her with a kiss when we arrived. She smiled sleepily up at me as I pulled her to my side and led her indoors.

She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when I noticed it; it was a rather innocuous piece of paper to be sure. But something about it caught my eye and whether it was right or wrong, I slipped it from the hidden confines of a notebook that lay atop Bella's desk. At first I thought I was reading wrong, because surely she would have told me, but when I double checked my watch, I saw that the date was correct, and I was left feeling angry and bewildered.

I heard the door creak open, and I turned around facing Bella with the paper in hand.

_What's this?_ I signed, and Bella's nervous expression told me everything I needed to know. I wasn't going to like what I was about to hear.

**Endnotes:**

**I apologize for the long delay in updating. My daughter had her tonsils and adenoids out and my husband was in town for several weeks. Hope you all are still with me! For those who like to keep track of these types of things, we're about 2/3 through this story. Thanks for hanging in there!**

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	22. Immersion

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 22 - Immersion**

Bella was nervous, which made me nervous, because she was _never_ nervous. At least not normally. She was the calm, cool and collected one in our relationship, so why were her eyes anxiously shifting about?

And why were they now narrowing at me in accusation?

_*Why were you going through my things?* _

_ I wasn't, _I scrambled to explain, feeling a lot guiltier than I should. It's not like I was snooping around; I'd simply happened to notice a flyer tucked into a book on her desk. _I saw the heading on this paper and decided to have a look_.

I waved the flyer in front of her, but it wasn't necessary. Bella knew exactly what I held in my hand.

_What's this about?_ I asked. I tried hard to remain even tempered, but I didn't understand why Bella would keep something like this from me.

She shrugged, her demeanor quickly shifting from suspicion to nonchalance.

_*It's nothing,*_ she replied, trying to appear as casual as possible, as if she hadn't deliberately withheld something important from me. _*Just a small deaf gathering.*_

That much was obvious. Printed in bold letters the flyer read:

**BAY AREA DEAF**

**Monthly Meet-Up**

**Time: 7:30 P.M.**

** Date: Saturday, April 15**

**Location: Starbucks on North Dale Mabry**

What I wanted to know was whether or not Bella planned on attending this event, scheduled for _tomorrow _evening, and if she did, had she planned on asking me to go with her? My eyes locked with hers, full of hope that she had simply forgotten to mention it to me, but when she stared back at me, her face plagued by anxiety and guilt, I knew that wasn't the case.

It was a strange mix of emotions that gripped me when I realized that Bella had been presented with the perfect opportunity to introduce me to her friends and had chosen not to take it. She _knew_ I was interested in meeting them. She _knew_ how important it was for me to be included in that part of her life, but she always seemed to hold back, keeping me at arm's length, and I had no idea why.

_Bella? _

I didn't physically sign her name but I didn't need to. My face, heavy with disappointment and confusion, said it all.

_*What do you want me to say?*_ she finally signed in exasperation.

_I want to know why you didn't tell me. _

_*I'm not going,*_ she signed, almost defiantly, and while it was somewhat of a relief knowing she hadn't planned on going without me, it still didn't answer my question.

_You could have at least mentioned it to me. _

_*I didn't mention it because it's not important, all right?* _Bella huffed_. *It's just some silly get together. We're both so busy with school right now, and in case you've forgotten, you work at the hospital tomorrow. I just figured we'd both be tired. That's all.*_

_Are those really the reasons why?_ I pressed. _Because it feels like a bunch of excuses._

_*Why are you making such a big deal out of this?*_ Bella shot back, surprising me with the intensity of her emotions. She was upset. _Really_ upset. Her breathing was labored and her jaw was clenched tight and she was staring at me as if _I_ had done something wrong.

I was dumbfounded by her behavior. Didn't she think it strange that after nearly six months together, the only friend of hers I had met was Jake? This gathering would have been the perfect opportunity for me to meet more of her friends, but she was brushing it off as meaningless. Meanwhile, I had introduced her to most everyone who was important in my life.

That was when it hit me… and it hit me hard. All the time we'd been together, she had made very little effort to immerse me in _her_ world. Sure, I'd learned to sign, but that was accomplished within the framework of the hearing world. _Her world _- the world of the deaf was still completely foreign to me, and it seemed like Bella wanted to keep things that way. She'd been shutting me out all along, and I never even realized it until now.

I didn't know what to say, so I stood there quietly, hands by my side, not saying anything at all. I willed them to move, to at least say _something_, but I was entirely without words. My inability to fashion any sort of response must have worried Bella because one moment she was standing across the room in the doorway and the next she was directly in front me, her shaky hand outstretched as she tentatively reached for mine. I let her take hold of me because God, I desperately needed to feel close to her again. Somehow, in the course of less than an hour, I'd moved from declaring my love for her to harboring doubts about our relationship, and that scared the hell out of me.

We stood together quietly for a moment, taking comfort in each other's nearness before I gathered the courage to ask a question that needed to be asked. I wasn't sure how Bella would react to it, but I didn't care. I needed to know why she was shutting me out.

_Why don't you want me to meet your friends?_

My question was blunt, and Bella visibly winced at my words, her sad eyes slowly rising to meet mine. Out of nowhere, she pulled me into a fierce hug, and though it took me by surprise, I hugged her back, folding her into my arms and squeezing her tight. She rested her head in the center of my chest for a long moment, and I placed my head on top of hers, running my hands gently up and down her back in a soothing motion. Eventually, she pulled away, and when she looked back up at me, I was glad to see some of the tension and fight in her was gone. Bella didn't want to argue anymore than I did, and I was hopeful that now that we'd let off a little steam, we would both be able to discuss the issue as two intelligent adults.

_*It's not that I don't want you to meet my friends,* _Bella sighed, reaching out to stroke her fingers overtop my heart. _*It's not like that.*_

_Then tell me what it's like,_ I implored with both my hands _and_ my eyes. _Why are you shutting me out? I don't understand._

_ *I'm not doing it on purpose,* _she tried to defend. _*It's just… complicated.* _

_ In what way?_

When Bella didn't answer right away, I reached out to her, gingerly taking her hand in mine and leading her over to the bed. I crawled into the center with her, pulling her into a sitting position with me so that we faced each other, legs crossed in front of us. Rather than wait for her to reply, I spoke again, deciding on a different approach to our conversation.

_I want to meet your friends,_ I signed, thinking it best I make my wishes clearly known.

Up until now, I had just assumed that Bella realized how important this was to me, but it occurred to me that maybe she didn't. We had only really discussed this matter once, when she'd gone out to lunch with some of her deaf friends in Orlando. The topic hadn't been brought up again since, which I supposed was just as much my fault as hers. I should have said something about it before it came to this point.

_*I want you to meet them too,*_ Bella assured me. *_But the truth is I'm not sure how accepting they'll be,*_ she admitted with a heavy sigh.

_Of our relationship?_

Bella nodded.

_Why not? _I wondered, fighting to dampen the dread that was slowly creeping into my gut.

Bella hung her head.

_*They're not very fond of hearies,* _she signed, and with that one simple admission, everything fell into place.

_Do they even know about me? _

_*Some of my friends in Orlando do,* _she hedged.

_And here in Tampa?_

Bella shook her head.

I stared at her blankly, uncertain of what to think about that. All my friends, all my family... they _all_ knew about her. I couldn't think of any reason why her friends wouldn't know about me other than…

_Bella, are you embarrassed by me?_

It killed me to ask that question, but it was the only reason I could come up with that would explain why she hadn't told her friends about me.

Her eyes flew to mine.

_*What? No! Of course not. How could you even think that! I love you, Edward,* _she signed,and the look clearly reflected in her eyes told me it was true. She loved me. Bella loved me and God knows I loved her too.

_I love you to, _I signed back, my hand hovering between us.

Bella stared at it, studying it intently as her lips started to quiver. She closed her eyes, fighting back tears and struggling to gain control over her emotions, but even though every part of who I was wanted to gather her into my arms and hold her tight, I gave her a moment to collect herself instead. Regardless of how hard this was on the both of us we needed to hash this matter out tonight. It would do us no good to leave it until later.

_Are you okay?_ I asked when she finally opened her eyes.

Bella sighed.

_*I am. It's just… this is such a mess.*_

_It doesn't have to be. I just want to understand why your friends don't know about me. _

_ *It's not what you're thinking, Edward. The truth is I haven't seen most of them since before Christmas. That's the primary reason why they don't know about you. It has nothing to do with being ashamed of you. I could never be ashamed of you.*_

_ You haven't seen them? _

This surprised me. I knew how important being a part of the deaf community was to Bella. It was the principal reason she'd moved to Florida…

She shook her head.

_If you don't mind me asking, why not?_

_*I could make up excuses and say I've been busy, but in all honesty, I'm not really that close with most of them.*_

"Oh," I murmured, once again surprised by her answer. _I just assumed that because..._

Bella interrupted me with a soft squeeze to my knee.

_*You assumed that because I'm deaf, most of my close friends would be deaf too,* _she signed, finishing my thought for me.

I nodded in reply and Bella sighed.

_*I get it, Edward. I really do. But that's not the case. Not that I don't enjoy hanging out with them, but over the years I've come to realize I think differently than a lot of them. I don't feel like we have very much in common anymore, other than the fact that we can't hear, and that's not enough. It's just not enough. So in general, I don't go out of my way to attend meet-ups. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.*_

_Okay, _I signed. _I understand._

_ *Do you?*_

_You're saying you've grown apart…_

_*Something like that.*_

We were quiet for a moment.

_So I guess that settles it then. You're not interested in going._

Bella sighed, her eyes holding mine for a beat before answering.

_*Do you really want to?*_

I perked up a bit at her question, having assumed the matter was already settled. Cautiously, I nodded my head.

_I do._

_*It won't be easy,* _she warned, but that didn't matter to me. It certainly wasn't anything that would prevent me from going.

_It's okay, _I assured her. _I think I can hold my own. _

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, a teasing glint in them.

_*You're awfully confident…*_

I shrugged.

_Your friends may think they know hearies, but they don't know me._

My comment caused Bella to grin, and I breathed a sigh of relief as the tension in the room slowly started to dissipate.

_*No, they don't,*_ she agreed, reaching out to stroke my cheek. I pulled her down with me onto the bed where she rested her head on my chest. We held each other for a moment before Bella lifted herself up on one arm. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to mine.

"So you're really willing to go?"

She regarded me thoughtfully for a moment before slowly nodding her head. I brought her face back to mine, kissing her soundly in appreciation.

"You're tired," I murmured when she pulled away. She was fighting a yawn.

_*You are too.*_

I couldn't deny that I was, but I was glad that we had talked things through. Although I still felt there was more that needed to be discussed, Bella had agreed to go to the gathering which was at least a step in the right direction. Pulling her to me, I grazed her temple with my lips. I felt her body sag against mine, and I didn't even care that the light to the room was still on. I covered us up with the blanket and settled my arms around Bella's waist, pulling her close.

"I love you," I murmured, pressing my lips to her temple and nuzzling her cheek with my nose.

She didn't need to see me to know what I was saying. Her hand settled over my heart, her pinky, forefinger and thumb rubbing slowly back and forth, silently relaying the same.

_*I love you too.*_

The following evening, I rushed to complete all my tasks at the hospital so that I could get out of there a few minutes early. Bella had dropped me off in the morning, and after consuming what must have been close to a half gallon of coffee, I was able to focus on my work. Thankfully, the day was busy, which was always better for keeping me active and alert. When seven o'clock rolled around, I grabbed a power bar from the vending machine and stood outside the hospital doors, waiting for Bella to pick me up.

She arrived at quarter past seven, driving my car. I jogged around to the driver's side door, greeting her with a brief kiss to the lips.

_*How was your day?*_

_It was long, but we were busy so it passed by faster than I expected._

_*You look tired,* _she commented, reaching up to trace her finger underneath my eyes._ *Are you sure you want to go tonight? There are other gatherings you know.*_

I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed softly.

_*Before you go accusing me of anything, I'm not trying to get out of going. I just don't want you to overdo it.*_

_Thank you for your concern, but I drank enough coffee to fill an Olympic sized pool today. I think I'll be okay._

I winked at her and she rolled her eyes, but she accepted my decision without argument. Walking around to the other side of the car, she climbed into the passenger seat and we were on our way.

Forty-five minutes later, I stood amongst several dozen Deaf people in Starbucks knowing one thing to be true: Bella had been very patient with me all these months. _Extremely_ patient was more like it. While I had honestly thought I could claim to be at least somewhat fluent in sign, my experience tonight taught me otherwise. I still had a long way to go. In fact, I could barely hold my own. Hands were moving through the air with impossible speed, discussing everything from politics to families to work place woes while I struggled just to tell everybody my name.

Part of my sluggishness could obviously be attributed to nerves. Bella wasn't kidding when she said her friends might not be accepting of me. While none of them had been outright rude, they hadn't welcomed me with open arms either. They certainly didn't make any grand attempts to include me in the conversations. To be honest, they seemed rather indifferent to my presence. So it was that in a sea full of people I felt incredibly alone, and I wondered, was this how Bella had felt for most of her life? The thought simultaneously saddened and humbled me. She was so much stronger than I had ever given her credit for, and that was saying a lot because she was probably the strongest person I knew.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Bella tried her best to include me. When we first arrived, she was hardly ever a step away. She introduced me to all of her friends and was her usual patient self when I attempted to contribute to the conversation. But the reality was I couldn't keep up, so after a while I encouraged her to spend time with her friends and not worry about me. I knew that she hadn't seen most of them in a very long time, and I wanted her to have this opportunity to reconnect with them. Bella was initially reluctant to leave my side; she knew better than anyone else what it felt like to be excluded. But I insisted I would be fine, and despite her tenacity, she eventually gave in to my wishes.

I watched her as she mixed and mingled, scolding her with a teasing frown every time she tried to make her way back to my side. I appreciated her loyalty, but I was learning almost as much in my role as a bystander as I would if I were an active participant in the conversations.

I learned that it was possible for my admiration for the woman I loved to grow tenfold within the course of an hour. Somehow, she managed to slide from one world into another as if it were the easiest thing to do.

I learned that it brought me immeasurable happiness to watch her when she was truly in her element, effortlessly communicating with others in her own language, so happy and full of life. Even though she said she had grown apart from many of her Deaf friends, she was alive in a way I hadn't seen before, and I could only assume it was because she was spending time with them.

I also learned what it was like to feel like an outsider looking in, longing to feel like a part of a larger group but knowing I would always be different. Bella was a deaf woman trying to make her way in a predominantly hearing world, a world that didn't go out of its way to include someone that was different. I was a hearing man, eager to be included in the world of the Deaf, Bella's world, a world that like my own didn't go out of its way to include someone that was different.

All these thoughts and more filled my head as I watched the love of my life move about the room. So lost in them was I that I jumped when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Bella slid an arm around my waist, giggling at my reaction. She smiled up at me, arresting me with her warm brown eyes. I loved the way she looked at me – as if no one else existed. She loved me just as I loved her, and that simple knowledge made me smile. I leaned in, brushing my lips against the whisper soft hair that framed the edges of her face and she squeezed me tight in return before motioning towards an older woman standing a few feet away. I immediately recognized her as one of the people Bella had been signing with tonight. She looked to be in her late 40s and was very attractive, her long brown hair and laid back style similar to Bella's in so many ways.

"Hi, I'm Kate," she greeted me warmly, offering me her hand. I was so shocked to hear her speak that for a moment, I forgot my manners. Thankfully, I quickly recovered, taking her hand in mine and shaking it firmly before letting go.

_I'm Edward_, I signed before glancing to my side where Bella stood. She was tapping me on my shoulder again, trying to catch my attention.

_*Kate's hearing,*_ she told me. _*It's not necessary to sign if you don't want to.*_

Oh. That certainly explained the perfect English.

_*Kate's on old friend. Her husband, Garrett, taught at the FSDB when I was a student,*_ Bella explained. _*I thought you might enjoy meeting her.*_

"Bella's told me all about you," Kate chimed in. "I couldn't wait to meet the man that finally managed to win her heart."

Kate winked, Bella blushed, and I stood by as pleased as could be. _Finally_, there was someone else besides Alice who seemed genuinely happy for Bella and me. Kate didn't appear to have any reservations about our relationship. There were no uncomfortable pauses in conversation, no speculative once-overs and no disapproving stares - just acceptance. It didn't seem to matter to her that I was hearing and Bella was deaf. And it was so fucking nice.

"It's truly a pleasure so meet you, Kate. I've won Bella's heart, and I intend on keeping it," I said, turning on the charm. That didn't change the fact that every word I said was true.

Kate threw her head back in laughter and Bella stood up on tiptoe, kissing me on the cheek.

_*It's yours to keep,*_ she signed before telling me to enjoy my conversation with Kate and disappearing back into the crowd. I was a little disappointed she didn't stay, but then again, we had limited time here tonight and I wanted her to enjoy what was left of it with her friends.

Turning back to Kate, I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee. She seemed very friendly, and truth be told, I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to for a few minutes.

"I'd love to," she said, accepting my invitation with a wide smile.

After making our purchases, we headed outside onto the terrace where it was less crowded. We took a seat at a small table and started talking.

It didn't take me long to figure out exactly why Bella had introduced me to Kate. The woman was a seemingly endless source of information about the Deaf, and I sat in rapt attention across from her, soaking up every detail I could. What most interested me was the fact that her husband, Garrett, was deaf. Like me, Kate was on the hearing end of a hearing/deaf relationship.

"You know, I stopped referring to my relationship with Garrett as a hearing/deaf relationship a long time ago," Kate commented after taking a sip of her coffee. My own sat beside me, all but forgotten.

"Really? Why is that?"

"I think cross-cultural relationship better describes what we have," she answered with a small shrug.

I considered that quietly for a moment. I was familiar with the term Deaf culture; it was one that Bella sometimes used, but I'd never really stopped to consider what it meant.

"It's true, you know," Kate continued, interrupting my thoughts. "The Deaf have a culture all their own. They have their own language, their own ideologies and their own customs. And if you haven't already noticed, most individuals who are hearing impaired are Deaf first; all other identifying characteristics generally fade to black. They're simply unimportant."

"You really think so?" I asked, not seeing the situation as being quite so black and white. "At least in my experience, Bella isn't like that. She doesn't define herself as Deaf; it's more of a physical condition for her than anything else."

"Well there are certainly exceptions," Kate agreed. "And you're right. Bella isn't exactly what I would consider strictly Deaf. She doesn't see herself as belonging to one community over the other. But make no mistake, Edward. Being Deaf is a part of who Bella is, and it extends far beyond a physical impairment."

"I suppose there could be some truth to that," I reluctantly admitted. "To be honest, she doesn't really talk about it much."

I was quiet for a moment as I considered the deeper meaning of my words. What _did_ being deaf really mean to Bella? Did she identify more with the Deaf community than I originally thought? Had I just blindly assumed she felt most comfortable in _my_ world, the world of the hearing, simply because she'd adapted to it so well? These were things I should have known about my girlfriend, but for some reason or another we had never really discussed them, at least not in depth, and I couldn't help but wonder why.

I raised my head, looking Kate directly in the eye.

"Bella didn't want to come here tonight."

I wasn't sure this was something I should be discussing with Kate, but the words just seemed to slip from my lips. I thought that maybe she could lend a little insight into Bella's behavior.

She didn't look surprised.

"Bella tries hard to balance herself between two worlds, Edward. It's not always easy for her."

"I don't suppose dating a hearing man makes it any easier, does it?" I wondered aloud, worried our relationship might be causing Bella to turn her back on an important part of who she was.

"I wouldn't say that," Kate said, her voice soft and reassuring. "Bella obviously cares a great deal for you."

"Then why does she seem reluctant to share such an important part of herself with me?"

I had to ask because I didn't believe it was solely a result of Bella's claims that she wasn't close to many of her Deaf friends anymore.

"I believe that's a question best left to Bella," Kate replied, making me feel guilty for even asking. She was right. I should be asking Bella these questions and not her, but it was so difficult to pull information from Bella sometimes, and Kate seemed to have experience I sorely lacked. "But I could venture a guess and say that part of her wants to protect you."

That comment caught my attention.

"Protect me?"

"She doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable, Edward," Kate clarified. "She knew what would happen if the two of you came here tonight. She knew it would be hard for you."

"It has been difficult," I admitted, "but it isn't necessary for her to worry about me like that. Bella knows I can hold my own. I can take care of myself."

A knowing smile tugged at Kate's lips.

"Ah, but don't you worry about her the same way?"

I opened my mouth to argue, but I realized that Kate had a valid point.

"Touché," I replied with a reluctant smile. "I do worry about her same way. No sense in denying that. I suppose when you love someone, the desire to protect them is something you can't easily escape, can you?"

Kate shook her head.

"I just wish it was easier for us," I lamented with a sigh. "Like it seems to be for you," I added. "How do you do it, anyway? Everyone here seems to accept you. You look like you belong, unlike me."

Kate's face was kind as she regarded me sympathetically.

"You have to remember I've been married to a deaf man for over twenty years, Edward. You're only just meeting everybody for the first time tonight. As hard as it is, you have to try to be patient and give Bella's friends some time to learn to trust you. Really, that's true for all people, regardless of whether or not they're hearing or deaf."

"I suppose. I guess I just didn't expect for it to be so difficult. I don't feel like anybody's even giving me a chance. I thought that at the very least, people might try to get to know me, if not for my sake then for Bella's."

Kate nodded her head in understanding.

"It was a reasonable expectation, Edward. But here's the thing," she said, shifting in her seat so that she was facing me straight on.

"When the Deaf come together in a group like this, they don't necessarily _want_ to spend time signing slowly so that people like us, _hearies_ as they like to call us, can understand_. _Think about it from their perspective. They spend many of their waking hours surrounded by people who speak a different language. Can you really begrudge them the opportunity to spend quality time in an environment where they don't have to struggle to make themselves understood? Generally speaking, the hearing world doesn't make accommodations for them, so why should they make accommodations for you?"

"But is that really all it's about?" I wondered, because while I understood that it was frustrating for Bella's friends to make accommodations for me, it seemed like there was more to their detached demeanors than simply this. There was wariness on many of their parts… almost bordering on suspicion that really bothered me. I told Kate so, then immediately grimaced. I shouldn't be saying things like that. At the very minimum, comments like those made me sound paranoid.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Maybe I'm reading too much into things," I said, trying to dismiss my comment.

Kate fell silent for a moment, her eyes fixing on a far off point, giving me the impression she was deep in thought. When she finally spoke, her voice was quiet.

"Maybe, maybe not."

I looked up at her, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, Edward, I don't presume to know what everybody here is thinking tonight, but I can tell you there's a strong possibility that many of them have already started presuming certain things about your relationship with Bella."

Kate's words were cryptic.

"I'm sorry," I said, confused. "I don't think I understand…"

"Let me put it this way," Kate said, meeting my questioning gaze. "From the moment you and Bella walked through the door, people were sizing you up. They were observing the two of you together –the gentle touches, tender gazes and warm smiles. It's obvious the two of you are serious, which means some of them are probably wondering what might happen if you were to marry and have children."

I choked on a sip of coffee. It was a completely involuntary reaction that couldn't be helped considering those were the _last_ words I was expecting to hear.

"I… I'm sorry," I was able to get out once I'd finally managed to compose myself. "I just wasn't expecting…"

"You weren't expecting me to say something like that," Kate finished for me. "It's okay, I don't imagine you were."

"It's not that I don't care for Bella in that way," I hastened to explain, not wanting Kate to think this wasn't a possibility for us one day. "But we haven't even been together six months, so marriage and children aren't exactly on our radar. Besides, I'm not sure that's anybody's business but our own."

Kate nodded quietly, her features thoughtful and understanding as she listened to what I had to say.

"In a perfect world, you'd be right, Edward. But I promise you there's a reason why some of the people here feel like it is their business."

Yeah... nosiness, I thought to myself, though I wouldn't say it out loud. I didn't know how involved Kate was with the Deaf community, and I didn't want to offend her. Instead, with a pointed look in her direction, I invited her to continue speaking.

"They'll feel like it's their business because if you and Bella were to have children, there's a chance they wouldn't learn how to sign."

"What?" I stared at Kate with my mouth agape. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Of course they'd learn how to sign! How else would they communicate with Bella?"

Kate shrugged.

"Bella reads lips. You could act as an interpreter and there are always computers, handwritten notes... the list goes on and on. The point is, with one hearing parent it wouldn't technically be necessary for a child to learn how to sign."

"Oh come on," I said with an exaggerated sigh. "Do you really think Bella would be okay with that? Because she wouldn't, and neither would I for that matter. _If_ we were to marry and _if_ we were to have kids, you can be damn sure they'd know how to sign."

"And what if you had a child that was born deaf? Would you teach that child to sign too?"

Kate wasn't challenging me. In fact, her tone was anything but. She was simply trying to help me see how others might view me. It was an eye opening experience, to say the least.

"Well, if we taught any of our children that were hearing to sign, I think it goes without saying we'd teach a child that was born deaf to sign too."

"Don't be so sure of that, Edward. You'd be surprised how much pressure there is to fit deaf children with cochlear implants. If done at an early enough age, there are some that argue that learning ASL could interfere with the child's ability to learn English."

"What? Why? That doesn't make any sense…"

"I'm not saying they're right, Edward. In fact, I'm of the opinion they're completely wrong. I'm just pointing out reasons why you might not teach your children to sign."

I sighed, shutting my eyes and shaking my head. I didn't know what to say anymore. What could I say? The truth was I hadn't even begun to consider all these hypothetical situations, yet others already felt comfortable speculating what my decisions regarding these situations might be. It was giving me a headache.

"Why does everyone care so much, anyway? What difference does it make?" I finally asked once I'd opened my eyes again.

"It makes more of a difference than you might think," Kate quietly stated. "There are a lot of people that worry that ASL is an endangered language. With cochlear implants and an emphasis on oral communication, fewer and fewer people are learning to sign. Because of this, some Deaf fear the death of their culture, Edward - their rich and beautiful culture."

"Wow. This is all just…"

I couldn't find the to describe what I was feeling right then. The logical part of me said it was ridiculous that after knowing me for less than an hour, people were marrying Bella and me off and assuming we'd give birth to children who didn't sign. But there was also a part of me that understood what Kate was saying. Bella's friends - the Deaf community as a whole, didn't want to lose their identity, nor did they want to lose the very thing that defined them apart from their inability to hear - the beautiful language they spoke with their hands.

_Sign language_.

"I'm sorry," Kate said, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you and I certainly didn't intend for this conversation to turn so serious. I just want you to understand where some of Bella's friends are coming from, that's all. There are reasons why many of them act the way they do."

"So, in short, it seems there's little chance they'll ever accept me," I said with a humorless laugh.

Much to my surprise, Kate shook her head.

"Actually, that's not the case at all. What I'm saying is that you need to give them time. Time to get to know you. Time to see that you're in love with Bella and you embrace their culture and who they are. These are all good people, Edward. They really are. In time, I've no doubt you'll be an honorary member of the Deaf community, just like me. You just need to be patient."

Kate winked at me and I managed to muster a smile for her in return. I was grateful to her for all her wisdom and expertise, but this conversation had given me a lot to digest and I needed a break. Scanning the thinning crowd for Bella, I caught her eye and waved at her, offering her a tender smile. She waved back and immediately starting making her way in my direction.

_*You two having fun?*_ she signed as she approached. She moved to sit in the chair beside me but I pulled her into my lap instead. This elicited a wide grin from Kate and a playful smirk from Bella.

_What?_ I innocently signed. _I missed you. _

Bella's face grew thoughtful as she pushed her hand through my hair.

_I missed you too,_ she signed back.

Not wanting for Kate to feel left out, Bella turned in her direction and asked if we'd had a nice talk.

Kate nodded in reply.

_{I think I've given Edward some things to think about,}_ she signed with a smile. Bella turned curious eyes on me, and I assured her I would explain everything later. And I did, much later, after I'd made love to her several times over in my bed.

_*Kate really talked your ear off tonight,*_ Bella commented with a little laugh. We lay together in the dark, the ambient light of the moon making it so we could easily communicate with each other without having to turn on the lights.

_She did, _I agreed._ She provided an interesting perspective on the Deaf community._ _She made me consider some things I hadn't given much thought to before,_ I admitted.

Bella sighed.

_*I hope she didn't scare you off.*_

_Nothing could scare me away from you._

I leaned in,nuzzling Bella's nose before pressing my lips softly against hers. She held my face tenderly between both her hands, but I couldn't help but note a hint of worry in her eyes.

_I'm serious, Bella, _I reaffirmed, not wanting her to worry.

_ *I know you are,* _she sighed_. I just wish the evening had played out differently. I know it wasn't much fun for you.*_

_ That's not true…_

_ *Edward,* _Bella warned, chastising me gently with her gaze.

I chuckled softly.

_Okay, I admit it doesn't make my top ten, but you warned me ahead of time. I knew what I was getting into._

_*I just wish you wouldn't have insisted I run around and talk to everybody tonight. I would have preferred to stay with you.* _

Bella reached out, dragging a single finger down the center of my chest. I grabbed it, bringing it to my lips and kissing the tip.

_I know, and I appreciate it, but whether you agree with me or not, I think it was important for you to spend time with your friends. If you could have seen yourself through my eyes tonight, you might better understand._

Bella held my gaze, nodding knowingly. I didn't need to say anything more.

_ *Would you believe me if I said things will get better? I mean, in the long run…You won't always be considered an interloper.*_

My eyes opened wide at Bella's use of the word interloper, but the twinkle in her eye told me she was only teasing.

_"_Interloper, huh?"

Bella giggled in delight as I rolled on top of her, pressing myself between her thighs.

_*My interloper,*_ she corrected with a soft smile.

"My everything," I breathed beside her ear in return, and moments later I was inside of her.

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!

*It should go without saying that I have the utmost respect for the Deaf community. This chapter was in no way meant to generalize opinions or attitudes within this community. It was only meant to provide some insight into why it's sometimes difficult for a hearing person to be accepted into the Deaf world. Like any other small, close-knit group, there are reasons for their apprehension about accepting newcomers.


	23. Red Sky at Morning

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 23 - Red Sky at Morning**

The morning sun shone through the bedroom window, coaxing me from my sleep. I could feel it as it warmed my face, a soft caress that caused my cheeks to flush and my lids to flutter as I slowly opened my eyes. Bella was there, resting peacefully on her side, and I propped my head up in my hand so that I could watch her in her slumber. Unable to resist, I reached out and spun a finger through her brown, silken hair, wrapping it up in a spiral before letting it bounce loosely free. The next time, I tugged a lock to my face, tickling my nose with its wispy ends.

_*That feels good.*_

I paused, hair in hand, as my eyes tracked Bella's movements. I was situated behind her so it was difficult to see, but I could have sworn she was signing. I thought she was asleep, but I must have been mistaken. Scooting a little closer, I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. Her behind fit perfectly between my naked thighs sending a wave of pleasure rolling through me. I didn't even try and hide my arousal. _That_ would have been pointless. It was morning after all, and I _was_ a man.

_Good morning, beautiful,_ I signed, bringing my arm around in front of her. _I didn't realize you were awake. _

I waited for Bella to turn and face me, but she never did. Instead, she lay perfectly still in my arms. Thinking she was still tired and perhaps in need of a little persuasion, I lowered my lips to the bare skin of her shoulder, kissing her softly. My lips lingered there, unwilling to part with her delicate skin, and when I felt her body shiver underneath mine, I was certain I had accomplished my objective.

_*Touch me.*_

Bella's hand moved in front of her again, instructing me to touch her, which elicited a groan from deep within me. I pressed myself more tightly to her, flexing my hips forward in an effort to gain friction against my growing arousal.

_Where?_ I asked, completely turned on by this unexpected bout of foreplay.

I circled two fingers around her taught nipple before lazily dragging them down between her legs. My mind spun. _Fuck_, she was so warm and wet.

_Here?_ I asked, applying gentle pressure to her clit. When Bella didn't respond, I paused, peering over her shoulder at her beautiful, angelic... and unmistakably sleeping face.

I buried my head in the crook of her neck, hiding an amused grin. Bella was sleep talking, or sleep signing, or whatever it was that deaf people referred to it as when they talked in their sleep. Just to be certain Bella wasn't messing with me, I gingerly lifted her arm only to let it fall lifelessly back by her side. She certainly _seemed_ to be asleep. Moments later, that same arm rose up high, winding through the air with skillful grace.

_*I like it when you touch me there,*_ she signed, and this time she whimpered, a soft, shallow sound that spoke directly to my groin.

_Where? _I signed in front of her, though it was completely pointless for me to do so. Bella was asleep, so she couldn't see the movement of my hands. I was so fucking hard and half tempted to pull her leg over top of mine and enter her from behind in her sleep, but I wouldn't wake her like that… not without her permission. As I lay there, debating what to do, she talked in her sleep again.

_*Slowly, slowly, not so fast,*_ she signed, her breathing now noticeably shallow. _*Touch me like this.*_

I sucked in a deep breath, watching in awe as Bella's right hand slid along the smooth skin of her stomach, traveling down, down, down through her dark colored curls until it lay nestled in between her thighs. With practiced precision, her nimble fingers went to work, slowly stroking her swollen clit, and when she started panting, tiny sounds of pleasure escaping her throat, it was nearly my undoing.

My girlfriend was touching herself in her sleep, and it was hands down the sexiest thing I had ever witnessed. It was all I could do not to take myself in my hands and pump roughly a few times so that I could find my own release. But I didn't. Instead, I watched in rapt attention as Bella's hips rocked forward, her movements growing more organized as the tip of her index finger drew small concentric circles over her tiny bundle of nerves. Soon her breathing grew ragged, and I knew she was close to falling over the edge, leaving me torn between two choices. I could watch her fall apart by her own hand, which in all likelihood would slay me, or I could finish what she had started with my own hand, burying myself deep inside of her immediately after.

In the end, the decision wasn't that difficult to make. I rolled on top of Bella, replacing her hand with mine.

"Wake up, beautiful," I murmured, softly kissing her lips. I swirled my thumb over her clit, her hips instinctively rising to meet my touch.

"That's right, baby," I whispered in her ear, rocking my body gently forward. "It feels good, doesn't it?" I swirled my tongue in Bella's ear, and I felt her chest tighten beneath me as the breath caught in the back of her throat.

"Hey there," I murmured, pulling back to look into her heavy lidded eyes. Bella was still drowsy, but it didn't take her long to realize that I was on top of her, slowly stroking her clit.

"You were touching yourself," I growled out loud, and even though I was unable to use my hands to communicate with her, the soft shade of red that warmed her skin told me she understood what I had said. She averted her gaze, biting down softly on her lower lip. Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Don't," I whispered, slowly shaking my head. When I pulled away, I stared deep into her beautiful, brown eyes. "Don't be embarrassed. I do the same when I dream of you." Bella's eyes opened wide, and I leaned in, capturing her lips in a swift kiss.

"It's true," I murmured as I continued to softly stroke her. "I think of you, naked, underneath me, and I make myself come."

Bella arched her back in pleasure, her eyes fighting to remain locked with mine as she gave herself over to the sensations building within her. Her chest was heaving and her cheeks were flushed and I knew she was on the cusp of coming.

"Edwaaaarrrdddd..." she moaned as her body twisted up underneath me. Her nails raked down the skin of my back, kneading and tugging and pulling as she forced our bodies closer together.

"Come for me," I commanded, my eyes boring into hers. I pressed partway into her with my swollen erection, and when her eyes slammed shut and the breath caught in the back of her throat, I knew she was finally there. With one focused thrust, I pushed fully into her, groaning in pleasure as her muscles contracted around me.

"Fuuuccckkkk, you feel so good, baby…"

My words were drowned out by my heavy panting as I set a punishing pace. I was hard and wanting, and when Bella wrapped her legs tightly around me, I knew I wouldn't last long. Clasping my face between both her hands, she held my gaze as she met me thrust for thrust. This was her _normal_, never breaking eye contact with me, even during the most intense physical moments, and it left me feeling as if she could see into the deepest parts of my soul. Her eyes called to me, centered me and stripped me of my defenses, rendering me entirely at her mercy as my pleasure overtook me.

I came abruptly, overcome by a powerful orgasm that left me shaking and weak. Still, I never looked away. I couldn't. Finally, when my arms could no longer support my weight, I collapsed on top of Bella's chest. Wrapping my arms around her, I hugged her body close to mine.

"I love you," I whispered into the crook of her neck, her skin slick with moisture, and it didn't bother me at all when I was met with nothing but resounding silence.

Bella's fingers tickled me awake a little while later.

_*You're heavy,*_ she signed with a smile when I lazily lifted my head from where it comfortably rested atop her stomach.

_Sorry,_ I replied with my own sheepish grin.

_*It's okay,*_ she assured me. _*I like it, but it's been forty-five minutes and I have to use the bathroom.*_

_Forty-five minutes?_ I shot up out of bed and glanced at the clock. I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I saw that it was only half past ten.

_I have to be at the hospital by noon,_ I signed, rolling onto my back. Bella scrambled out from underneath me and jumped up from the bed. She held up a single finger, asking me to hold that thought before dashing across the hall into the bathroom. When she returned, she pulled back the covers and climbed in, snuggling up to my side. I yawned, rubbing at my eyes.

_*Are you going to be okay to work today?* _she asked, pushing herself up on my chest and taking note of my tired expression.

_I'll be okay._

Bella didn't look convinced.

_ *We shouldn't have gone out last night,* _she signed with a regretful shake of her head.

Reaching out, I placed my forefinger under her chin, turning her face to meet mine.

_Don't say that. I'm glad we went. I think it was important. In fact, Kate mentioned the group is meeting up again at the beach in a couple of weeks. If it's all right with you, I thought I'd change my schedule at the hospital so that we could join them._

Bella's face grew at once, contemplative.

_*Edward, I don't know…* _she slowly signed, not seeming too keen on the idea, which kind of disappointed me. I had hoped that after attending last night's event we would be past this.

_Why not? _I gently prodded.

Her eyes locked with mine, and like she so often did when she was thinking hard about something, she drew her lower lip between her teeth.

_*Please don't think I'm not appreciative of the effort you're making…* _she began, hesitating a moment before continuing. _*But it really isn't necessary. You don't have to do this for me.*_

_What if I told you I was doing it for me? _I replied in turn, offering her an alternative justification for attending the upcoming event._ Now that the ice has been broken, it would be nice to have the chance to try and get to know everyone better. I want your friends to like me, Bella, and that isn't going to happen if we avoid spending time with them. Besides, weren't you the one that said things would get better?_

At my words, Bella sighed, her fingers coming up to brush across the skin of my cheek.

_*Does it really matter that much to you what they think?* _she asked._ *Because it's just not that important to me. I love you, Edward. Everyone else's opinions are inconsequential as far as I'm concerned.*_

_Actually, it does matter to me, _I signed in response._ It matters a lot, in fact. We're together now Bella… a couple, and I want to be a part of your entire life, not just the parts you pick and choose to share with me. I just… I don't want for us to shut ourselves off from an important part of who you are - that's all. _

I struggled a bit with my words. I didn't want to upset Bella, but I worried about the consequences of holding ourselves apart from her deaf friends. At best we were giving them a reason to be suspicious of me. If I never came around, I feared they would interpret that as indifference on my part, and they would never know how far from the truth that really was. At worst, I feared that Bella was denying herself the opportunity to spend time with people who were similar to her in a very important way.

_ *Is that what you think we're doing?* _she asked, her eyes opening wide in genuine surprise. _*Shutting ourselves off?*_

I shrugged my shoulders.

_ Seems that way to me._

Bella shook her head.

_*That's just not true, Edward,* _she signed with a heavy sigh._ *I told you before, I don't normally attend Deaf functions.*_

_That's another thing, _I stated with a shake of my head._ I still don't understand why that is. It was obvious to me you enjoyed yourself last night. Conversation certainly came easily…_

_*What's that supposed to mean?* _Bella interrupted, narrowing her eyes at me in suspicion. She had completely misinterpreted my words, and I scrambled to make myself clear.

_It means you are endlessly patient with me, _I quickly explained, _but I know that spending time with me isn't the same as spending time with your friends. Can you really stand there and deny that it wasn't nice to be able to carry on a conversation without having to constantly adjust your pace or finger-spell every other word?_

Bella froze, her eyes clouding over with some unrecognizable emotion.

_ *Don't do that,* _she finally signed, her head moving back and forth in a nearly imperceptible motion._*Please don't compare yourself to my deaf friends, because that's what you're doing and it's not necessary. I don't have any issues with how you and I communicate, Edward. You should know that by now. Honestly, I think we communicate just fine, don't you?*_

Bella looked concerned, as if she might have wrongly assumed how comfortable I was with our relationship. Nothing could have been further from the truth, and I immediately moved to put her fears to rest.

_ I think we communicate amazingly well,_ I reassured her, speaking nothing but the honest truth. _I think it's incredible that after only five months together, we're talking solely with our hands, but that isn't the issue here. _

_*Then what is the issue?*_ Bella pressed. _*Because this entire conversation is starting to confuse me._*

I sighed. It was starting to confuse me too. I couldn't even remember the exact point I was trying to make, other than I felt it was important for the two of us to spend time with Bella's friends.

_I guess what I'm trying to say is that I saw how happy you were last night, and I can't help it, I like seeing you that way, _I began, trying my best to properly convey my thoughts_. If spending time with your deaf friends puts a smile on your face, then it's important to me that I get to know them so that we can all spend time together. I just want you to be happy, Bella, that's all. I know it sounds completely cliché, but seeing you happy means everything to me. _

Bella's features noticeably softened at my words, her eyes spilling over with deep felt emotion, and before I knew what was happening her warm lips were pressed tenderly against mine. She kissed me lazily for several long moments before finally pulling away.

_*Thank you,*_ she signed, holding me captive with her earnest, brown eyes. _*I don't think you'll ever know what it means to me that you care so much. But believe me Edward, I know who puts a smile on my face, and that person is you, _she signed, her hand momentarily settling over top of my heart._*You may think that I identify more with my friends who are deaf, but the truth is, I mostly identify with you.*_

_ "I identify with you, too," _I murmured, not wanting there to be any doubt in her mind._ But I don't think that precludes us from spending time with our friends… yours included._

Bella sighed, and I was afraid that maybe she'd reached her limits in terms of this discussion. I fully expected her to ask me to stop pushing her, but instead she surprised me.

_*You're right,*_ she signed, her hand stalling in the air between us as she took in my shocked, if not amused expression.

_I am? _I teased, only half playing._ About what, specifically?_

_*Everything, I suppose,* _she admitted with a hesitant smile. _*You're right in saying I enjoyed myself last night, more than I thought I would, to be honest. And you're right in saying our relationship with each other shouldn't keep us from spending time with our friends. It's just difficult for me to balance both worlds, Edward, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I feel like I'm two different people…*_

_ Is it because of me? _I wondered, worried our relationship played a part in making her feel that way.

Bella shook her head.

_ *Nothing could be further from the truth. It's me, not you. I've walked the line between both worlds ever since I can remember….*_

As if a switch had been flipped somewhere deep inside, Bella proceeded to tell me things about her life we had discussed in passing here and there, but never in any detail. She finally shared with me what it was like for her to spend so many years being raised in a predominantly hearing environment only to begin life seemingly anew at FSDB. While Bella had found comfort in being surrounded by others who were similar to her in terms of hearing loss, she also found that her experiences with the hearing world differed greatly from those of most of her peers.

To begin with, many of Bella's friends had never been mainstreamed, as she had been for her elementary school years. They had been raised almost exclusively in deaf environments and had a tendency to be wary of their hearing peers. What little contact they did have was very often negative in nature; all of Bella's friends had at one time or another been treated disrespectfully by their hearing counterparts. They had been taunted, teased and treated as if they were mentally challenged simply because they couldn't hear.

Many of her friends also came from environments where hearing individuals routinely tried to exert control over their lives, a primary example being her deaf friends with hearing parents. Some of these parents refused to give their deaf child the freedom he or she needed to grow and develop into an individual, instead making any and all decisions for them based upon what they thought was best. In some cases, this meant her friends were at first denied the ability to learn ASL and were instead encouraged to learn to speak and lip read English. I could not even begin to understand how frustrating that must have been for them, to have been denied the opportunity to learn ASL and instead be forced to adapt to a hearing environment.

Luckily for Bella, she had never been routinely exposed to the types of circumstances that seemed to harden her deaf peers to the outside hearing world. While she was never particularly close to her hearing peers in Forks, she had been a part of the small community for so long that she wasn't relentlessly teased. She just never really felt as if she fit in. She had also had extremely pro-active and understanding parents who had worked hard to give her the best of both worlds. Charlie and Renee understood the importance of ASL as Bella's primary means of communication, but they worked hard to ensure that she could read and write English fluently and read lips as well.

When it came down to it, this experience was not one that was mirrored by many of her peers. Most of Bella's friends were either placed in FSDB because their parents were at a loss for how to communicate with or educate their deaf child, or they came from generationally deaf families that shunned any form of implants or oral education and communicated almost exclusively in ASL.

_*So you can see now where the differences lay between me and many of my deaf friends. I haven't had the types of experiences that cause them to prefer not to associate with the hearing world. When I moved to Florida, I was just a child hoping to have some friends that I could relate to, but I quickly found that being deaf is where most of our similarities ended.*_

Bella paused for a moment, reaching out and taking my hand in hers and tracing each of my fingers individually before setting it back in my lap.

_*I love my deaf friends, Edward. I really do. I understand who they are, the environments they've all come from and why they believe in what they do. But our notable differences sometimes makes it difficult for me to spend time with them.*_

_I understand._

_*Do you?* _she wondered, looking me straight in the eye, and I nodded my head.

_I understand better now that we've talked. I never imagined how difficult it is for you,_ I said, because it was true. Her life seemed infinitely more complicated with each passing day. She truly was caught between two worlds…

_*I've learned to adjust,* _Bella replied with a sad smile, causing my heart to tighten in my chest.

_Can I make a suggestion?_

_*What's that?*_

_Maybe it's time to start anew… to build a bridge between both worlds instead of erecting a dividing line. I know it won't be easy, but do you think we can try together? Like we tried last night? I'm willing if you are…._

Bella sat quiet for a moment, and I thought with regret that her answer would be no, but when she looked up at me, out of eyes resolute and firm, I was relieved to see that wasn't the case.

_*Okay. If you're willing to try, so am I.*_

I sat up from where I rested on the bed, hardly able to contain my excitement.

_Really?_

_*Really,*_ she affirmed right before I pulled her into a giant hug. I buried my face in her neck, kissing her softly there.

_*You're going to be late for work,* _she reminded me when I tried to take things further.

_I know. I'm leaving. I swear, _I told her, but my actions spoke otherwise. Laughing softly, she gently pushed me away before crawling off of the bed and reaching her hand out to me, tugging me up to stand by her side.

_I love you,_ I signed, bending my head to capture her lips in a heated kiss before she had a chance to remind me of my impending work duties again. When I pulled away, she was smiling up at me in amusement, gently shaking her head.

_*I love you too. Now get into the shower before I decide to hold you captive all day long…* _

My eyes darkened at her words.

_Don't tempt me…_

Bella laughed, pushing me out her bedroom door and into the bathroom before I had the chance to force her to make good on her threat. I took a very cold shower and gave her a chaste kiss goodbye before walking out the door.

The following week was another one of those weeks when Bella and I hardly saw each other. With less than six weeks to go in the semester, the pressure was on. I was already beginning prep work for final exams and wondering how in the hell I was going to juggle everything on my schedule without my fucking head exploding. Bella and I tried to study together. _We really did._ Monday evening Bella came by the practice rooms and we started out in our usual positions - me on the bench and Bella flat on her stomach on top of the piano. It was a bit unconventional, but so far no one had taken notice and if they had, they didn't seem to care. I enjoyed having Bella around while we studied, but the problem was, part way through the evening we couldn't keep our hands off each other. A harmless study break lead to a heated make-out session and suddenly my mind was in the gutter.

Yeah - I wanted to take Bella against the piano. I wanted her on the bench, on the keys, anywhere and in every combination possible. I was pretty sure she felt the same, but I wasn't that much of an exhibitionist. I wouldn't take the chance of someone walking in on us, not when I was this close to graduation and entering medical school. I did, however, make a mental note to be on the look-out for used baby grands in estate sales. If I had things my way, I'd be moving into my own apartment sometime during the year, and if I had my own piano... well, the possibilities would be endless.

Tuesday night ended in a similar fashion as Monday evening, only our late night escapades featured a secluded nook in the library as opposed to the music school practice rooms. After reluctantly admitting to ourselves that we weren't getting anything done, we parted ways just after eleven, heading back to our respective apartments to finish studying. Wednesday night we agreed not to meet. Bella had a meeting with her advisor, after which she said it was imperative she complete lesson plans for the remainder of the semester. I wanted to argue in favor of keeping each other company, but I knew that would never work. So instead of occupying myself with Bella's lips during study breaks, I perused the library's collection of books on the deaf and hearing-impaired.

I really _was_ hopeless.

There was one subject matter in particular I was interested in. Cochlear implants. I didn't know much about them. Bella and I had never really discussed them, and until Kate had mentioned them at the meet-up, I honestly hadn't given implants much thought. My interest was piqued now, and so I found myself in a worn pleather chair with my feet propped up on a table reading about them.

I had to admit, I wondered if Bella might benefit from implants, but after reading up on the subject, I discovered that in order for them to be maximally effective, it was necessary for the surgery to be performed as early as possible in a person's life. This had to do with a critical period of language acquisition and development that occurred between the ages of two and four. Children who received implants during this period generally benefited from them more than those who received the implants later in life.

Sitting there, book in hand, I wanted more than ever to meet Bella's parents. I wanted to know if they had considered implants for her, and if not, why they hadn't. They had recognized that Bella was deaf from a very young age, so there was the possibility that implants could have benefitted her. Selfishly, there was a part of me that wondered if Bella might consider getting implants now. I understood that she would probably never be able to recognize speech, but she could at least hear my voice... hear me play the piano...

My eyes started to droop. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was close to midnight. The library would close then anyway, so I decided to pack up and head home. On the way out, I checked out the book on implants I had been reading. It was an interesting book, and I hoped to have more time to spend going though it before the semester came to a close. When I arrived home, I was exhausted. After removing my phone from a side pocket, I flung my backpack in the corner of my room and stripped down to my boxers before crawling into bed. I immediately texted Bella.

**You still awake?**

***Yeah. Still working on lesson plans. Where are you?***

**Home. In bed. Wanna come over?**

** *You know I want to, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I've still got a couple hours of work ahead of me.***

** A couple hours?**

** *Unfortunately, yes. I ended up meeting some friends from class for coffee. We have a group project due in a few weeks.***

** Oh... okay.**

** *You're upset with me.***

** No... just disappointed. But I understand. I'm about to fall asleep, anyway.**

** *Long night?***

** Lonely night.**

** *Edward...***

** Sorry. ;) What do you think about going out Friday night? I need some loud music and a couple of beers. Technique?**

** *Sounds good to me. I could use a good release.***

** I could take care of that for you, you know. All you have to do is come over...**

** *Green Eyes, stop! You're not helping matters!***

** My plan is working perfectly.**

** *Goodnight, Green Eyes.***

** You're cutting me off?**

** *Lol... yes. Unless of course you want me to stumble through the remainder of the semester in sign language class.***

** I'd catch you if you fell.**

** *Ha ha.***

** All right, all right. I'll just lay here in bed, all alone, thinking about you and...**

** *God, you really are incorrigible. :) Now, goodnight. I love you.***

** I love you too. Sleep well.**

Friday night, Bella showed up at my door looking hot as fuck. There was something inherently sexy about skin tight jeans and form fitting tees...

And the shirt was blue. I fucking loved the color blue on Bella.

I instantly hardened at the sight of her, which wasn't a big surprise. Bella and I hadn't slept together since Monday night, and four days was a long time for either of us to go without sex. Bella noticed my situation and didn't need any encouragement to step forward and place her hand on me. Her other hand twisted into my hair, and suddenly our lips were locked in a heated kiss. As our tongues rolled languidly against each other, Bella stroked me through my jeans.

_Let's forget about Ybor,_ I signed between kisses. _Let's just fuck. _

Bella's eyes opened wide in surprise as she playfully smacked the back of my head.

"Ow!" I cried, reaching behind me to rub the tender spot, and the both of us started to laugh.

_*That was crude,*_ Bella signed with a giggle.

_Honest. It was honest, _I corrected her. _Don't tell me you don't want to._

_*Oh I definitely want to,*_ Bella agreed, pressing her lips to mine in a searing hot kiss. _*And we will,*_ she added as her hand slipped between our bodies and settled on my still rigid erection.

_*Later.*_

I frowned.

_Come on. Look at the weather. It's been raining on and off all day. We could be caught in a torrential downpour._

That was the truth. The morning had started out with a beautiful red sunrise only to be followed by relentless rain. It seemed the old sailor's adage was in fact true. 'Red sky at morning, sailors take warning…'

_ *I'm not worried about the rain. We'll be inside. I want to dance... with you,* _Bella signed, pulling me close. _*Like this,*_ she added, twisting in my arms so that her behind was settled in my crotch, and holy fuck did it feel good. She began to sway back and forth in slow motion, teasing me with her seductive movements. I wound my arms around her from behind, holding her tight.

_You're not helping matters,_ I signed, my arms moving in front of her. If she didn't stop soon, I was going to have to jack off in the bathroom like some horny teenager before leaving. Bella spun in my arms so that she was facing me again, her face sheepish but far from contrite.

_*Think of it this way. The sooner we get there, the sooner we get to come home,*_ she pointed out with a devilish grin, and although I wanted to continue to protest, her pouty lips and beseeching brown eyes won me over in the end.

"I'm driving," I told her, reaching into my pocket and producing a set of keys. _We leave when I'm ready to leave, fair enough?_

_ *Fair enough,* _she agreed, and we set on our way.

Ybor City was surprisingly crowded for a rainy Friday night. It seemed everybody had the same idea - to let off some steam before the end of the semester crackdown began. It was still hard for me to believe that in six week's time I would be a college graduate. In some ways, it was anti-climatic for me because I would be starting med school in the fall. I wouldn't really have a break from schooling, but the payoff would be worth it. If all went as planned, I would be a doctor by the end of my 20s, which was an enviable accomplishment as far as I was concerned. I was excited about med school, but I was also excited at the prospect of having someone to share the experience with. In the last five months, Bella had come to mean virtually everything to me. I had fallen deeply in love with her, and I couldn't wait to share my life with her.

Marriage.

The word jumped into my head from time to time. Not that I was anywhere near ready to propose because I wasn't. Bella and I needed more time together. At the very least, I wanted to introduce her to my parents, and I wanted to meet hers too. But long term, I could definitely see the two of us together... married, eventually. Everything just seemed to fit with us, despite our differences.

Bella held my hand tightly as we walked through the door of Technique, pulling me from my thoughts. I noticed that her grip was stronger than usual, and when I looked down at her to make sure everything was okay she smiled up at me apologetically.

_*I didn't know,*_ she signed with her free hand, and I didn't need to look at the DJ stand to know that Jake was working tonight.

I had to admit, at first I was upset that he was there. Somehow, his presence seemed like an intrusion. There was also still a part of me that was jealous of the relationship he had with Bella. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was being ridiculous. At the end of the day, Bella was mine. She'd chosen me. There had never really been any competition to begin with, anyway. To Bella, Jake was never more than a friend. He had wanted more, but Bella didn't. The situation was cut and dry as far as I was concerned. Keeping that in mind, I led Bella out onto the floor and pulled her into my arms.

She danced with me exactly as she had promised, with her ass grinding against my crotch for the better part of an hour. We were two people amidst a sea of hundreds, but somehow it felt like we were all alone. It was just me and Bella in our own little bubble, holding each other tight and swaying seductively to the music. It was fucking perfect, and when Bella tugged on my hand, motioning that she needed to use the restroom, I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to dance with her all fucking night long, her body pressed tightly against mine.

_*Bathroom and water,*_ Bella signed again with her left hand while twisting her sweat dampened hair away from her face with her right. Tiny trails of perspiration coated her face and neck, and I wanted to trace them with my tongue. My eyes met hers, dark and hungry, and her returning gaze told me she was just as turned on as I was.

_*Five minutes,*_ she quickly signed. _*Give me five minutes and we'll go home.*_

I nodded at her, pulling her in for a heated kiss before reluctantly letting her go.

_I'll wait for you at the bar,_ I signed as she slowly backed away from me.

_*Five minutes,*_ she promised, and then she was gone.

After watching to see that Bella had made it safely to the back of the club where the restrooms were located, I made my way over to the bar and ordered a beer. I chugged it down in a matter of moments and was contemplating ordering another when none other than Jessica appeared by my side.

"Edward!"

She yelled my name, ostensibly to be heard over the loud crowd, but really I could see that she was just drunk.

"Hey, Jessica." I was polite, but I didn't attempt to engage her in any sort of meaningful conversation.

It wasn't that things were awkward between us. In fact, since returning to class after Spring Break, Jessica had pretty much kept to herself. She had cooled considerably towards me, never picking me as a partner anymore and hardly paying any attention to me. I assumed she had gotten the picture that I wasn't available, but I still didn't think it was a good idea for me to be overly friendly with her, lest I give her the wrong idea.

I glanced at my watch. It had been over five minutes since Bella had gone to the bathroom and I knew she would be back any minute. I really didn't want to be standing next to Jessica when she did.

"Technique is on fire tonight," she commented.

"Yeah. It's definitely busy," I absently answered her while scanning the crowd for Bella.

"I'm here with my boyfriend," she added, and while this bit of information was unexpected, I didn't give it more than a moment's thought as I was growing increasingly anxious by Bella's absence. It was going on ten minutes now. It shouldn't take that long for her to use the bathroom. I was beginning to worry that something might be wrong. Maybe she was sick... or dehydrated. We'd danced for nearly an hour.

I caught the bartender's attention.

"Give me a bottle of water, will you?" I asked. I slipped a five dollar bill in his direction. "Keep the change."

The bartender tossed me the bottle and I turned towards Jessica.

"Listen, it was good seeing you but I've gotta run. I'll see you in class, okay?"

Jessica pouted, looking displeased by my hasty departure, but I didn't hang around long enough for her to argue with me. By the time she opened her mouth to speak, I was already making my way through the throngs of people to the back of Technique, in search of Bella. The hallway was crowded outside the restrooms, and even though the side door to the club had been propped open, it was still stuffy and hot. Now, more than ever, I wanted to get the hell out of there and go home.

"Hey," I said, catching the attention of a young girl who was about to enter the women's bathroom. "Can you do me a favor? I think my girlfriend's in there, but she can't hear. Could you tell me if you see a woman with long brown hair wearing a blue shirt, jeans and black Chucks?"

"She can't hear? As in... she's deaf?" the girl replied, confused, and though I wanted to roll my eyes at her, I knew I needed her help, so I thought better of it.

"Yes. She's deaf. Now can you help me? I'd go in there myself, but..."

The girl regarded me skeptically as my words trailed off, and I began to worry she wasn't going to help me, but she must have sensed how desperate I was because she slowly nodded her head.

"All right. I'll be right back," she said before disappearing behind the door. She returned several moments later, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, but there's no one in there by that description," she said, and my heart skipped a beat in my chest.

"Are you sure?" I pressed, certain she must have made a mistake, but she nodded her head.

"I'm sure. I checked all the stalls. There is definitely no one in there wearing black Chucks. I'm sorry."

Her words rang out, reverberating through my brain and causing panic to overtake me.

_Where the fuck was Bella?_ She was here ten minutes ago and now she was gone! I bolted back towards the bar, thinking that maybe she was waiting for me there, but the only person I recognized was Jessica. I scoured the dance floor next, my heart threatening to beat right out of my chest, but she wasn't there either.

Ten minutes. It took me ten minutes to search the club from top to bottom, and by that time I was all but consumed with fear. This wasn't like Bella. This wasn't like her at all. Something was very wrong.

Looking up, my eyes locked with Jake's. He was standing behind the DJ booth, watching me from afar. He must have seen me frantically rushing about because concern touched the corners of his eyes. Knowing I had no other choice but to ask him for help, I pushed past person after person until I was standing below him.

"What the fuck is going on Cullen?" he barked from above.

"It's Bella!" I yelled in a panic. "I can't find her! She's gone Jake... she's fucking gone!"

**Endnotes:**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	24. Rising Storm

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 24 - Rising Storm**

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jake asked as he leapt from behind the DJ booth and onto the floor beside me. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean she's fucking gone!" I yelled in irritation at his pointless question.

Suddenly he was in my face.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Fuck you!"

I shoved Jake out of the way with my hands. "I didn't do anything! We were fine... everything was fucking fine and then she just disappeared! Fuck!" I angrily yelled while running my hands up through my hair.

"I don't have time for this shit! I need your help, Jake. Please, you've got to help me find her." I was all but begging now, and Jake's face, angry and accusatory at first, turned focused and firm.

"When did you see her last?" he asked distractedly, his eyes already scanning the thick crowd.

"Thirty minutes ago."

Jake's eyes widened in disbelief.

"That long ago? Jesus. Have you tried texting her?"

"She doesn't have her phone," I said, shaking my head in frustration. "She left it back at her apartment."

"Why the fuck would she do that! She knows better!"

"It was an accident!" I shot back in anger, quickly growing tired of arguing with him. "Jake, please," I pleaded. "We've got to look for her."

"Where was the last place you saw her?" he snapped.

"On the dance floor, heading towards the back of the club," I answered in a rush. "She said she needed to use the bathroom. I told her to meet me at the bar, but she never showed up!"

"Did you check in the bathroom?" Jake asked.

"Of course!" I spat in defense. "She's not there."

Suddenly Jake was gone, running in the direction of the bathrooms at the back of the club. He didn't take time to gingerly weave through the hundreds of bodies on the dance floor, instead plowing right through them, pushing anyone and everything aside as he raced to find Bella. I followed in his tracks, my body driven forward by pure adrenaline. With each passing minute, I felt myself becoming increasingly frantic. I knew in my gut that something was wrong. Thirty short minutes ago Bella was wrapped securely in my arms, her body moving in time with mine. And now she was gone. She'd disappeared, and I had no idea why or to where.

Jake reached the bathrooms first. One moment he was in my sight and the next he had barged into the men's restroom, leaving a trail of terrified college students in his wake. My stomach reeled at the sight.

He was in the men's bathroom.

Oh, Jesus Christ... I hadn't even considered...

I nearly turned and retched on the spot, a wave of nausea gripping my stomach with such ferocity I had to steady myself with one hand against the wall. When Jake reappeared a moment later, sharply shaking his head, I allowed myself to exhale a small sigh of relief. Thank fucking God Bella hadn't been dragged in there by some sick psychopath, but we were still no closer to finding her than we were before. Jake sent another female patron into the women's restroom, double checking that Bella wasn't inside before jogging to my side.

"Tell me exactly what happened, Cullen," he demanded.

"I told you! We were on the dance floor. We'd been dancing for a while and Bella said she needed to use the restroom and get some water. I told her I would wait for her at the bar. That was it! I watched her walk back here, man! I watched her until she was safely inside! Then I went to the bar! Fuck!," I yelled, pushing my hands up into my hair in frustration. "I should have gone with her and waited," I lamented, berating myself for not being more responsible. "Shit!"

Turning to the side, I slammed my fist into the wall, needing some sort of outlet for my anger. It was eating me up inside - making me feel desperate and completely out of control. My fist made contact, punching a hole through the center of the wall. When I withdrew it, tiny rivulets of blood ran down my hand.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jake screamed at me. "Don't be an idiot, Cullen. We need to find Bella!" I was breathing hard, my body reacting instinctively to the stress of the situation, but I realized I needed to pull it together and focus. I absently wiped the blood from my hand onto my shirt.

"Did you check outside?" he asked, lowering his voice now so that he was no longer yelling at me.

_No_, I shook my head.

At that moment, both our eyes traveled to the side door which remained propped open. I'd noticed it before, but I hadn't given it more than a passing thought. Bella had been overheated when she left the dance floor, stating that she needed some water. Could it be that she'd simply stepped outside to cool down? It was still raining, so it didn't seem likely, but we had already determined she wasn't in the club. That left only one possibility... she was somewhere outside.

"You should go and check your car," Jake instructed. "I'll have a look around outside. Meet me back here in ten minutes. If we haven't found her by then, I'm going to enlist more help. Okay?"

"I don't think she's there," I said with a shake of my head. "The keys are in my pocket. She wouldn't have any way of getting inside."

"Just check, Cullen!" Jake said, yelling at me again. "Let's eliminate all possibilities!"

I wanted to argue with him - argue that Bella would never leave me in a club to go stand outside in the rain by my car, no matter what the circumstances, but he did have a point. We needed to eliminate all possibilities. It might not be logical that Bella would be waiting for me by my car, but then again, it was far from logical that she should just up and disappear.

"Okay," I nodded. I reached out and clasped my hand on Jake's shoulder, wincing in pain from using my busted fist. "Thank you." Jake's eyes met mine, and he offered me a curt nod before disappearing out the side door and into the dark alley beyond.

Ten minutes later, Jake and I reconvened by the side of the club, neither one of us having had any luck in locating Bella. I wasn't the only one who looked panicked now. Jake was trying hard to hold it together, but he was clearly just as worried as me.

"What now?" I wondered while wiping my forearm across my face. The rain had let up some, but I was still wet from running to and from the car.

"I'm going to ask a couple of my friends to check around inside the club. I'll alert all the bartenders and bouncers, too. You and I are going to hit the streets. I checked around the outside of the club, but I didn't see anything. I think we need to spread out further, maybe canvas people on the streets."

I nodded in reply, agreeing with Jake that this was a good plan. He left me standing there while he mobilized his friends inside, and when he returned he held a couple of Tylenol in his hand.

"Here, take these," he said while absently handing me the small white pills. I swallowed them gratefully before following him away from the club. "I'm going to head left down 7th. You head in the opposite direction. I'll call you if I find anything and you do the same, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. "We should set a time to meet back here."

"Thirty minutes. If you haven't found her in thirty minutes, meet me back here."

"What then?" I wondered.

Jake didn't hesitate in his response. "We call the police."

I searched the streets of Ybor City. I searched them like my life depended on it, tearing down dark and deserted alleys, stopping people on the streets and speaking with bouncers at nearly every bar and club I came upon, but nobody had seen Bella. Nobody had seen a girl with long brown hair and even darker brown eyes who spoke with her hands. It had been over an hour now, and what had at first started out as a niggling sense of panic periodically nudging my gut had now transformed into full-fledged, deep-rooted fear. I was terrified... afraid of what might have happened to Bella. The possibilities were endless. She was an extremely attractive woman. Who was to say that some sick fuck hadn't grabbed her? My mind was reeling at the possibilities, conjuring up every worst case scenario imaginable, spinning completely out of control. Thoughts of what might have happened propelled me forward, my shoes slapping against the wet pavement, drops of water splashing up onto my legs. It was no longer raining, but the sky was still dark - dark and ominous, as if foretelling the future.

"Fuck, no!" I muttered angrily under my breath. "She's going to be just fine!" I tried to convince myself, but even to me, my voice sounded shaky and unsure. A passerby looked at me strangely and I stopped in place, leaning over and resting the palms of my hands on my knees, desperately trying to catch my breath.

"Please," I begged through sharp, labored breaths. "Have you seen a young woman? Long dark hair and brown eyes, she's deaf... God, she's deaf," I managed to get out. The man looked down at me in apology, his eyes regarding me sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, son. I haven't."

I nodded, feeling more and more hopeless with every minute that passed by. Just then, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I jumped to attention, reaching inside and gripping it in my shaking hand, but when I pulled it free, it tumbled to the ground. I bent to pick it up, but the man in front of me held out his hand and stopped me.

"Allow me," he said, reaching down and plucking it from a puddle of water on the ground. I was panicked that it wouldn't work, but when I saw that the screen was lit up with a new text, I greedily grabbed it out of the man's hand.

The text was from Jake.

**I found her. We're two blocks up from Technique on 7th. Get here, now.**

I stared at the screen, tears stinging the corners of my eyes as I exhaled a shaky sigh of relief. Jake had found her, he'd fucking found her, and I had never been more grateful for anything in my life. I hastily thanked the man in front of me before sprinting down the street in the direction I'd just come.

I ran. I ran hard towards Bella. Though my body was physically exhausted from searching for her, I pressed forward, never stopping until I saw the lights. They were red and blue and flashing, lighting up the dark night sky and striking fear into my heart. There were several police cars and an ambulance, and there, sitting on the curb, huddled by Jake's side was Bella.

_My precious Bella._

"Bella!"

I screamed her name. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear me. It didn't matter to me at all. I needed to say it. I needed to hear it fall from my lips. It affirmed that she was still here and still alive. Jake's head jerked up at the sound of my voice, his eyes meeting mine in a solemn gaze. Bella looked up immediately after, her eyes filling with tears as she watched me approach.

"Bella!" I screamed again, falling to me knees on the wet, hard ground in front of her. She threw her arms around my neck, holding me tight as violent sobs overtook her.

"Who are you?" a gruff voice asked from somewhere behind. I couldn't see who was speaking, but I assumed it was a police officer.

"It's okay. He's her boyfriend," I heard Jake answer in reply.

"We'd like to take a preliminary statement from Ms. Swan before she heads to the hospital," the man continued to speak. "You told me you would be able to interpret..."

"Hospital? Why does she have to go to the hospital?" I asked.

Without letting go of Bella, I turned in Jake's direction. "What the hell happened?"

Jake regarded me cautiously for a moment before answering.

"Edward, maybe you should let..."

"Just fucking tell me!" I demanded, unable to bear not knowing why the fuck Bella was sitting on the side of the street in downtown Ybor City after having gone missing for close to an hour. My mind started going to dark places made all that much scarier by what Jake said next.

"Someone found her," he said, swallowing back a lump in his throat. "She was bound, blindfolded and gagged, Edward… wandering in an alley a few blocks away from here."

"Oh, Jesus," I breathed, choking back a wave of nausea that threatened to consume me. If it weren't for the fact that I needed to be strong for Bella, I would have thrown up on the spot. Instead I pulled her closer, reminding myself that whatever had happened to her, she was safe and sound in my arms now. I took several deep breaths, tucking her face into the side of my neck before turning to Jake and forcing myself to ask the question that needed to be asked.

"Was she... was... she..."

But I couldn't say it. I couldn't fucking get the words out. I couldn't even think about what might have happened...

"No," Jake rushed to reassure me, understanding exactly where I was going. "There was no assault."

I nearly choked on my relief.

"Then why the ambulance?" I questioned, my eyes darting in the direction of the vehicle parked a few feet away.

"She tripped and fell, or so she says," Jake explained. "She's got a good knot on the side of her head, so they want to admit her for observation, just in case she's got a concussion."

Bella shifted in my arms while Jake was speaking, and I turned my attention back to her. Ever so softly, I threaded my fingers through her hair, combing it back and out of her face before gently pulling her away from my chest. I needed to see her. I needed to look into her eyes to see that she was really okay. I needed to see that the steady glow of life and love that burned strong in her eyes every day was still there, but she clung to me as if her life depended on it, shaking her head firmly _no_. She didn't want me to let her go, so I didn't, instead holding her close for a few minutes longer before trying again. This time I brushed the pads of my thumbs underneath both of her eyes, tenderly wiping away the tears as I coaxed her face upwards. Inch by inch, her eyes moved towards mine. When they finally met, I sucked in a sharp breath. Her eyes were hollow and empty, the fire in them I loved so much gone.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," I murmured softly to her, not daring to take my hands off of her to sign. "Can you tell me what happened?" I gently inquired, but Bella just buried her head against my chest once again, shutting me and the rest of the world out.

"Pardon me, Mr..."

The officer who had been speaking with Jake moments before spoke up again, hesitating when it came to addressing me.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen," I said, filling in the blank for him.

"Pardon me, Mr. Cullen. My name is Officer Thompson, and I'm the one who will be assigned to Ms. Swan's case. I know this is a difficult time for the two of you, but we really need to get a proper statement from her," he stated in a voice that was not unkind. "We'd like to do it now, while the memory of what happened is still fresh in her mind, but if she would prefer to wait until after she's been seen by a doctor, we can do that too."

"I think she needs to do it now," Jake said, offering his opinion. He turned in my direction, looking to see whether or not I agreed with him, and I nodded my head. I was worried that Bella might not share our opinion, but I hoped that if I continued to sit with her while Jake acted as her interpreter, she might feel more comfortable. Using two fingers, I gently lifted her chin so that her eyes were once again level with mine.

_You need to speak with the police. It's better to do that now while the details are still clear. Jake will translate and I'll sit here with you. You won't be alone. Do you think you can do that? Can you talk to them now?_

Bella drew her quivering lower lip between her teeth, her ashen face worried and uncertain.

_You can do this,_ I signed, hoping that in my conviction she would find some source of courage. "You have to do this, baby."

I lowered my forehead to hers, gently cupping her face in my hands. She exhaled a shuddering sigh before slowly nodding her head. Bella's reluctance to talk about what happened was clear, evidenced by the worry lines creasing her weary face, but each of us knew she had no other choice.

"Let's begin with what you remember," Officer Thompson said once Bella had turned to fully face him. "You say that you arrived at Technique sometime after ten o'clock tonight. You danced with Mr. Cullen for an hour before deciding to use the restroom. Is that correct?"

Jake translated the officer's words with greater fluency and speed than I could, and I found myself feeling extraordinarily grateful to this man I once considered my foe. One fateful night seemed to have changed everything between us.

_Yes,_ Bella signed in response, her hand inching out from where it rested between us to answer the officer's question.

"What happened next?"

*_I walked to the back of the club and used the restroom. Afterwards, I decided to step outside for a minute. It was so hot inside the club. I'd danced for nearly an hour and I wanted a moment to catch my breath. The door to the side of the club was propped open, and even though it was still raining, it had let up. I didn't mind getting a little wet. In fact, I thought it might feel good.*_

"So you went outside?"

_*Yes.*_

"Was there anyone else outside with you?"

Bella nodded her head.

*_At first, yes. There were several college aged kids smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, but I think they were all a part of the same group because almost as soon as I stepped outside, they all started on their way back in.*_

"Did you recognize any of them?"

Bella shook her head.

"Did any of them remain behind, or walk off in another direction?"

Again, Bella shook her head.

"So as far as you know, after they left, you were alone outside."

_*That's correct,* _Bella confirmed. *_But only for a minute. I watched the rain fall until I felt my body temperature return to normal. It couldn't have been more than two or three minutes at the most. I didn't notice anything strange or different in that time, but when I turned to walk back inside... * _

Bella paused, burying her face in my chest as she choked back a sob. I held her tightly to me, smoothing back her hair and soothing her with soft kisses to the top of her head while she worked to compose herself. It took a minute, but she found her strength again, and when she did, she looked back towards the officer and continued recounting what happened.

*_When I turned to walk back inside, someone reached out from the dark, grabbing my shoulders from behind. Whoever it was pulled me backwards, away from the light of the club and into the dark alley. I tried to scream, but they gagged me before I even had a chance. I hardly had time to think about what was happening before they... they blindfolded me.*_

Bella started shaking, and it took an act of God himself to keep me from running out into the streets in search of whoever had done this to her. Every part of me cried out for revenge, the muscles in my body coiled tight and primed for an attack. I knew one thing for certain - whoever had done this to Bella would pay. One way or the other, I would hunt them down and make them suffer for their sick and twisted deed.

Officer Thompson gave Bella a moment to collect herself before he continued with his line of questioning.

"Ms. Swan, do you have any idea whether the perpetrator was male or female?" he asked.

Bella didn't hesitate to answer.

_*Male, definitely male. His forearms were muscular, like he worked out a lot, and his hair was cropped short and rough in texture. His nose... it was crooked, like it had been broken at some point in time, and he smelled like expensive cologne.*_

The officer appeared impressed with Bella's description, asking if she had managed to get a look at the perpetrator's face, but Bella hung her head sadly, shaking it slowly back and forth.

_*I didn't. I was able to reach back and feel for his features while he gagged and blindfolded me, but after that, he tied my hands together behind my back.*_

Bella's eyes flitted to her wrists and mine followed suit. Angry, red welts were visible there, and I reached out, taking one of her hands in mine and softly kissing her wounds, hoping my touch would soothe some of the pain. Her lips pulled upwards in a fleeting half smile, but they quickly fell and her features were once again defined by the deadened look in her dull brown eyes.

"You're doing well, Ms. Swan," the officer commented softly. "Really well. Can you tell me what happened next? After he bound your wrists?"

Bella looked to both Jake and me, wiping away her tears with the pads of her fingers before reluctantly continuing.

_*Once my hands were bound, he turned us both around and started moving forward at a brisk walk. I... I managed to keep track of all the turns. We walked for fifty yards or so and then turned right. Another fifty yards and we made another right, followed by an immediate left. We walked several hundred more yards before turning right again, and that's when he pushed me up against a wall.*_

I froze in place at Bella's words, my entire body going rigid.

_Did he touch you? _I signed, trying but failing to disguise my fear that she had been sexually assaulted. Even though Jake had told me otherwise, I needed to hear from Bella that he hadn't touched her like that.

_*No,*_ she quickly replied, shaking her head firmly before looking back towards the officer.

_*He didn't assault me, but he did push me up against the wall, pinning me there with his body. He leaned forward, running his nose along the edge of my neck, breathing heavily against me. And then, just as quickly as he'd taken me, he was gone. I thought at first we'd been spotted and he'd been scared off, but nobody came to my rescue. So I started walking, trying my best to retrace my steps. I tripped over the curb, and that's when I hit my head.*_

"So the perpetrator didn't physically or sexually assault you?" the officer reiterated. "The cut on your head occurred after he fled the scene?"

_*That's correct. When he ran off, he left me blindfolded, bound and gagged. I couldn't use my hands to remove the blindfold so I couldn't see, and while I was trying to make my way back to the club, I lost my footing. That's how I fell and hit my head.*_

"Do you have any idea how far you walked before someone found you?" Officer Thompson asked.

Bella shook her head.

_*I don't know. Five, maybe ten minutes? I was so disoriented, it was hard for me to tell.*_

"I'm wondering if that was the perpetrator's objective all along," Officer Thompson commented absently in response while scribbling some information into his notebook.

"I'm sorry?" I replied, shaking my head in confusion at his statement. "I don't understand…"

"I mean this could have been some sick joke, a hate crime of sorts, aimed at taking advantage of someones who is handicapped," he clarified.

"Bella's not fucking handicapped!" I seethed, my anger over the evening's events momentarily getting the best of me. I knew I was lashing out at the wrong person, but I didn't seem to have control over my emotions at that moment. Jake turned stone cold eyes on me, a silent warning for me to shut the hell up while Bella sat motionless and silent.

"Son," Officer Thompson gruffly replied, sounding displeased with my tone of voice. "I understand that you're upset by what's happened to your girlfriend so I'm going to cut you a little slack. But I'll remind you that I'm an officer of the law, and I won't be spoken to like that, regardless of the circumstances. Do I make myself clear?"

I stared up at him for a moment, half tempted to lash out at him again because I didn't like being spoken to like I was a child, but I realized that wouldn't do Bella or myself any good, so I decided otherwise.

"Sorry," I grumbled in response. "I'm just trying to make sense of everything. I don't understand why someone would do this."

"Neither do I," he replied, his tone softening. "But thus far, the evidence suggests that whoever did didn't intend to physically hurt Ms. Swan." Officer Thompson shrugged. "Maybe he was only interested in scaring her - shaking her up a little bit."

"Or maybe something spooked him and he ran away before he had a chance to do anything more," I pointed out.

Bella, who had hardly said a word over the last several minutes, looked first to me then to Officer Thompson.

_*I thought he was going to, he was going to…*_

I silenced Bella's hands by covering them with my own. We all knew exactly what she was going to say, and I could almost feel my skin burn at the thought of what could have happened. I could have lost Bella tonight - I could have easily lost her. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pulled her tight against my side, kissing her softly on top of her head. She took willing shelter in my arms, her body rapidly shutting down following the trauma of the night's events.

"I think Bella's had enough for tonight," I declared, deciding it was time for us to leave. If I never saw the lights of Ybor City again it would be too fucking soon. "She's exhausted, and if we're going to go to the hospital, we should go now before it gets too late," I added while gingerly running my fingers around the edge of Bella's wound. She winced at my touch.

"I agree. I'm going to finish speaking with the young man who found her and then head to the station to prepare my report. There are other officers canvassing the club right now, looking for anyone who might have seen anything suspicious. If you're feeling up to it, I'd like for the two of you to come down to the station tomorrow. It would be good for us to go back over the information she's given to see if maybe she remembers anything more that might be of some help."

Bella and I nodded in agreement.

"She'll require a translator. I can request one..." Officer Thompson started, but Jake held up his hand, interrupting him.

"That won't be necessary. I can do it."

Part of me wanted to object, feeling confident that I could translate for Bella myself, but then I considered that I would be better off acting as a support to her, like I'd done tonight, so I gratefully accepted Jake's offer.

"All right then, I'll see the three of you tomorrow," Officer Thompson said before moving to speak with several other policemen who were gathered around his car.

After taking a moment to thank the boy who had found Bella and led her to safety, we headed to Tampa General. Bella didn't appear to be suffering from a concussion, but the paramedics still recommended she have it looked at. Jake rode with us, continuing in his role as translator at the hospital while Bella remained curled into my side. When she was sent for a CAT scan, Jake and I stepped out into the hall, leaning together against the wall.

"Jake, I... I don't know what I can ever do to thank you for what you did tonight, but I want you to know I'm sincerely grateful."

Jake studied me intently for a moment, his piercing brown eyes a whirlpool of emotions.

"I did it for Bella," he finally responded in a measured tone of voice.

"I know. But she's my girlfriend, so in a way, you did it for me too. And I won't forget."

The feeling might not have been mutual, but at least for me, I knew that from that point forward my relationship with Jake would be different. I was indebted to him for helping me find Bella, and that was something that would never change. I held his gaze, refusing to look away until he acknowledged my statement with a silent nod of his head.

Bella wasn't discharged from the hospital until several hours later. It was past two in the morning by the time we finally walked through her front door, and both of us resembled the walking dead. We'd both been through so much, Bella much more than me, and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull her to me, holding her tight all the night through.

She had been quiet on the ride home. When we entered her apartment, she immediately walked towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Moments later, I heard the water running, and I knew she was taking a shower. I hesitated only a moment before cracking open the door and flicking the light switch on and off. I wanted to alert her to my presence before stepping inside; I didn't want to catch her off guard.

When I entered the bathroom, I noticed that Bella had deposited her clothes in the trash can. I could understand why, and I wouldn't say anything to her about it. This was one night I was certain she would rather not be reminded of. I removed my own clothing before pulling back the shower curtain, hoping that Bella wouldn't mind if I joined her. She hadn't asked me to, but I didn't want to be away from her. I needed to see her, feel her, breathe her in... remind myself that this awful night was over and that the woman who meant more to me than life itself was all right.

Bella had been crying; I knew this the minute I stepped into the tub. She tried to brush her tears aside, but I shook my head.

_You don't have to hide from me,_ I signed.

Very slowly, I reached out my hands, running my fingers along the dark shadows rimming the underbelly of her swollen eyes. Bella's lips began to quiver, and one by one, her tears started to fall. I slid my hands along the contour of her cheeks, brushing my thumbs slowly back and forth, collecting them as they fell.

"Come here," I murmured, pulling her gently towards me. She didn't resist, allowing me to bring her into the safety of my arms where we both wanted her to be.

"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so fucking sorry for everything you went through tonight," I spoke quietly against her head. My words fell on silent ears, but it didn't matter. "I... I..."

Further words of regret failed me as my own eyes started to water, and I stood there quietly, holding everything that mattered to me in my arms until the water eventually ran cold.

Later, when all was silent and still and the morning sun hadn't yet risen in the sky, I crept from Bella's room, leaving her curled in a ball on the bed, her back tucked flush against the wall and her fists pulled tight by her side. Even in her sleep she was tense, no doubt reliving moments from the night before. She had cried out several times already, her trembling body instinctively seeking refuge in mine. I had cradled her close for several hours, but sleep had yet to claim me. With every passing moment, my body grew more anxious, still wound tight from the night's events. I wasn't a fool. I knew that things could have ended badly. They didn't, but they could have, and that thought alone had me tripping over my feet as I stumbled into the bathroom and onto the floor.

I retched into the toilet, what little there was left in my stomach immediately coming up followed by wave after wave of dry heaves. Once I started, I couldn't stop, overwhelming anxiety causing my stomach to twist tight in knots. The fear I'd felt when I first realized Bella was missing, the desperation that seized me and drove me into the streets in search of her, the relief that washed over me the moment I knew she was safe and the horror I'd felt when I realized what had happened to her _all_ battled for dominance inside me. My stomach felt like a war zone, each emotion pitting themselves against each other, and I realized that although I had been able to hold it together for Bella earlier, now it was my time to fall apart.

So I did.

**Endnotes:**

**According to the U.S. Department of Justice, disabled people are 1.5 times more likely to be the victims of violent crime than people who are not disabled.**

**Disabled women are 2 times more likely to be the victims of violent crime than women who are not disabled.**

**I realize this story has taken an unexpected turn. I want to reiterate that Bella was not sexually assaulted. There is a reason events are taking place as they are; there are certain issues that Bella and Edward need to deal with if their relationship is going to survive long term.**

**The next chapter is edited and ready to post. I will post again by the middle of next week, after I have had a chance to reply to reviews. Thanks for sticking with me. I appreciate all of your support.**

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	25. In the Eye of the Hurricane

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 25 – In the Eye of the Hurricane**

**One Day**

It was just after nine in the morning when Bella gently shook me awake. I was physically and mentally destroyed, having only fallen asleep just three hours before.

My exhaustion was nothing compared to Bella's. Her eyes were rimmed with deep, dark circles, her irises vacant and tired.

_*You have to be at the hospital in an hour,*_ she signed.

I looked at her, confused.

_I'm not going in. I've already called and left a message._

_*I'm fine,* _Bella signed, though her shaking hands told me she was anything but. _*You don't need to stay with me.*_

I sat up in bed, digging the heels of my palms into the hollows of my eyes, trying but failing to wake myself up. I wondered if I pressed hard enough if it would erase the images of the night before. The wet city streets, the flashing lights, Bella hunched over on the curb…

_I want to stay with you. Besides, I'm in no shape to work today and we told Officer Thompson we'd come by the station to go over your statement._

_*I haven't remembered anything else,* _Bella signed before rolling over onto her side, her back facing away from me. Her behavior was confusing me, and I reached out, gently skimming my hand along the skin of her bare shoulder, trailing it down along the length of her arm. She shivered under my touch, and I cautiously pulled her to me, settling her body against my chest. It didn't take long before her tears started to fall.

"Shh," I whispered in her ear, soothing her while smoothing her hair back from her face. "Shh."

Gradually Bella's sobs subsided, reduced to intermittent gasps and sighs. When her body finally quieted against mine, the shaking gone for now, I turned her in my arms to face me. Reaching out, I tilted her chin upwards.

_Are you okay?_

Bella nodded, and with my right hand, I traced the circumference of her bruise. It was situated to the left of her face, just below her hairline. Thank God she didn't have a concussion. Even so, it was angry and swollen, an unwelcome reminder of last night's horrific events.

_Does it hurt? _I bent to kiss around the edges, taking great care not to cause her any discomfort. Bella smiled weakly at me in appreciation, her hand creeping up from between us to smooth along the stubbled skin of my cheek.

_*A little, but it's tolerable. It's my hands that bother me the most.*_

I winced as my eyes scanned the bandages encircling both her wrists. The rope that the perpetrator had used to bind her cut into Bella's skin, leaving behind shallow trenches. I hadn't noticed how badly she was hurt when we were sitting on the curb last night. It wasn't until we arrived at the hospital that I saw the full extent of her injuries.

_Come. Let's dress those wounds. Then I'll fix us some breakfast._

_*You don't have to,*_ Bella signed with a shake of her head. _*I can do it myself.*_

_I don't want you to do it yourself,_ I insisted, capturing her hand and tenderly kissing her wrist. _Please, don't push me away. Let me help you._

Bella reluctantly agreed, and I led her to the bathroom where she sat on the toilet while I changed out her bandages. Afterwards she wandered into the living room where she sat down in the middle of the couch, channel surfing while I scrambled some eggs. It was hard for me to focus on what I was doing, and I accidentally dumped the wrong seasoning into the eggs causing me to have to start over. Despite the fact that Bella was safe inside the apartment with me, I was still anxious, constantly looking over my shoulder to check up on her even though I knew she was right there. Frustrated with myself, I flicked the hallway light, catching Bella's attention. It pained me to see how red and swollen her eyes were when she looked up. She'd spent the last twelve hours in tears, and it showed.

_You want to watch me?_

My odd question drew a tentative, curious smile out of Bella, and I thought for a moment that my heart might beat out of my chest. It was good to see her smile, even if seconds later it slipped away.

_*Do you need my help?*_

_No_, I shook my head. _I just need you near me. _

It was the truth. Even though Bella was just in the other room, she wasn't close enough. After everything that had transpired, I _needed_ her closer. Bella nodded while rising from the couch, walking towards the kitchen, and I wondered if she felt the same - if it was as difficult for her to be away from me as it was for me to be away from her. At that moment, I just needed to be able to reach out and touch her. I needed to be able to pull her into my arms and hold her close and reassure myself that she was okay. I couldn't seem to get over the fact that I could have lost her last night. There was also the nagging concern that whoever attacked her was still out there. That thought alone made my blood run cold.

Bella approached me from behind, slipping her arms around my waist and hugging me tight as I tended to the eggs. I could feel the tension slip away as she molded her body against mine, and even though her binding arms restricted my movement, if she hadn't come to me, I honestly wasn't sure I could have continued to function. My body craved togetherness right now, her presence a comfort to me, tangible proof of her vitality. If she ever let go, it would be too soon.

_Order up,_ I signed while turning in her arms to face her. That trace of a smile ghosted across Bella's lips once more, and I smiled down at her in return. Seeing her happy, even if only for a brief moment in time, gave me hope that despite everything that had happened, she was going to be okay.

Hopefully I would be okay too.

**One Week**

I switched the bedroom light off and on, alerting Bella to my presence. She was getting dressed for class, her long, lean legs slipping into a pair of very flattering jeans. I suppressed a groan at the sight. Bella and I hadn't been intimate since the attack. She didn't seem to want that right now. Instead, when we went to bed together at night, she clung to me, her legs winding tightly around mine, pinning me to her. I didn't mind. All day, every day, my head was full of horrible thoughts of Bella being abducted. I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't excise the demons from my mind. They picked at me, taunting me, suggesting that the woman I loved might not always be mine. She could be taken from me. She was almost taken from me before, and it could happen again.

It didn't help that we still had no idea who had taken Bella and why. The police had come up with absolutely nothing so far. Whoever had done this to her seemed to have disappeared into thin air. If they did apprehend a suspect, there was talk of a charge of Kidnapping with the intent to terrorize. In Florida, Kidnapping is a serious felony, and this would likely mean there would be a long and tedious trial. Bella would have to relive the horror of the night over and over again in the hope that justice would be served. I shuddered to think what that would be like, but if it meant whoever had abducted her was ultimately sent to jail, it would be worth it in the end.

Bella turned and faced me, offering me a small smile when she saw me standing there. One week later, her smiles were still few and far between, but with each passing day, she slipped further back into her routine, her terror and anxiety over what happened lessening, if only a little bit. I wished I could say the same for me.

_I hate to rush you, but we need to get going. I have a meeting scheduled with my piano professor in half an hour._

_*I'm okay to drive myself this morning,* _came Bella's unexpected response._ *I'll park close to the building and walk directly to class, I promise.*_

_I'd really rather drive you myself,_ I insisted. I didn't like the idea of Bella driving to and from school alone. It was too soon. It would only be one week tomorrow that she had been blindfolded, gagged and bound before being dragged through the streets of Ybor City. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought, preferring not to think about that right now. It was all I dreamt about at night, and I was barely able to focus on anything else during the day.

_*Okay, I'll just be one minute,* _Bella acquiesced with a small sigh, thankfully deciding not to argue with me. Not that I thought she would. Bella didn't want to be left alone any more than I wanted to leave her alone, so I turned and walked away, allowing her some privacy so that she could finish dressing.

This had been our routine over the course of the past week. I rearranged my schedule so that I could escort Bella to and from school. Once on campus, I made every effort to walk her to class myself. Emmett and Jake helped out, with Rose filling in when the rest of us weren't available. Between all of us, we managed to watch over Bella virtually round the clock. I never wanted her to be alone or out of sight. I was panicked that whoever had gone after her in Ybor City was still out there somewhere, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the opportunity to finish what they had started. This fear I had was all but debilitating; whoever had taken Bella had fucked with more than just her life. He'd fucked with mine and that of all her friends too.

Bella emerged from the bedroom, her backpack slung across her shoulder and her hair pulled back in a loose braid.

_You look nice._ I reached for her hand, linking our pinky fingers together and tugging her gently forward. Our lips met and I kissed her softly.

_You have the schedule for today, right?_

Bella nodded, reaching behind her to pat her backpack.

_*It's inside. I don't need it, anyway. You're taking me to school this morning, Jake's meeting me for lunch and Emmett will be there to pick me up this afternoon.*_

_At 3:50 sharp. I'm sorry I can't be there, but I can't miss class._

_*It's okay,*_ she reassured me, her hand coming up to settle over my heart. _*I'll be all right.*_

I took a deep breath, doing my best to calm my nerves. It had been like this every day this week. It was hard for me to leave Bella's side in the morning, my instinct being to keep her near. I wanted to be with her at all times, to watch over her and protect her. It was the only way I felt settled these days... when she was directly in my line of sight. Being away from her was very difficult for me, but thankfully we kept in constant contact via texting.

_I'll be home no later than six. If you'd like, I could pick up some take-out._

_*I thought I might go to the store, instead. My refrigerator's completely bare. We don't even have milk to eat a bowl of cereal.*_

_By yourself?_ I asked, trying not to appear as nervous as I felt at her suggestion.

Bella nodded her head.

_*It's just up the road, Edward. I'll be fine.*_

_ Why don't you wait for me? _I signed. _I'll be home by six. That's plenty of time to go to the store together. We can pick up some take-out after, or if you prefer, we can cook something. I know this week's been kind of crazy. I could use a home cooked meal myself._

Bella sighed, and I thought for a moment that she might stick to her guns and insist on going to the store herself, but she didn't. Instead she just nodded her head in reluctant acceptance.

_*We'd better get going,*_ she signed, walking past me to the front door. _*You're going to be late.*_

Later that night, Bella and I lay naked under the sheets. She had let me make love to her, and I was slow and tender, giving her multiple orgasms before allowing myself to let go. I ran my fingers along her hairline now, marveling at how fast the knot on her head was healing. Her hands were healing too, no longer requiring bandages. But though her physical wounds were well on their way to becoming no more than a distant memory, the emotional wounds ran deep. This was true for both Bella and me.

_How are you feeling?_ I asked, gingerly stroking the side of her face. _It's been a long week. You must be exhausted._

_*I am. But going back to school was the right thing to do. I think I would have gone crazy sitting around the apartment all day. I wouldn't have been able to think about anything other than what happened.*_

_I thought about it all week, anyway,_ I confessed.

Bella looked upon me with weary brown eyes laden with sorrow and regret.

_ *I'm sorry this has been so hard on you.*_

_ I was so scared that night, _I admitted. _ I don't ever want to lose you. The thought terrifies me. _I scooted closer to her, wanting to feel every part of her skin on mine.

_*I'm right here,*_ Bella reminded me, reaching out to place her hand over my heart as she centered me with me with her gaze. _*I'm not going anywhere.* _

I closed my eyes, letting her words ground me. They were exactly what I needed to hear only I had a hard time believing them.

_Make love to me again. I need to feel you. I need..._

Bella silenced me with her touch, her fingers slipping below my waist and guiding me inside her. I exhaled a shaky sigh when we were finally connected. If only things could remain this way forever. If only we could remain locked inside our little room, safe from the world around us.

If only.

**Two Weeks**

Tuesdays were one of Bella's long days at school. She was either in class or teaching all day long. I was thankful for that. It meant she had little reason, if any, to leave the College of Behavioral Sciences building which suited me just fine. I worried about her less when she remained in one location throughout most of the day. It was also easier for me. I didn't have to coordinate picking her up and dropping her off several times a day.

Two weeks after the incident in Ybor City, I still felt the need to keep a watchful eye over Bella, but all the schedule coordination and running around that entailed was beginning to take its toll on me. I was fucking exhausted, in every sense of the word. Today, I had dropped Bella off at class at eight in the morning, met her for lunch at one o'clock, escorted her to the library at 2:30 and was now returning to campus at 5:50 to pick her up after teaching her last class. I had skipped my own last class of the day, opting instead to go home to try and catch a few hours of sleep. I knew it was irresponsible of me, but neither Bella nor I was sleeping all that well at night, and I knew I would be worthless later on if I didn't get some rest in the afternoon.

I parked in the lot behind the College of Behavioral Sciences, entering the building through a set of rear doors. As I strolled down the hall towards the front lobby where Bella usually waited for me, I glanced in the classroom where she taught her last class of the day, just in case she had to stay behind to speak with one of her students. I saw that the door was left open, but the light was switched off, so I continued forward on my path. Rounding the corner at the end of the hall, I fully expected to see her waiting for me, only today she wasn't there.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself to remain calm. Just because Bella wasn't waiting for me at the front of the building didn't mean there was an immediate cause for concern. It was only 5:55, five minutes after her class had been dismissed. Perhaps she had gone upstairs to her office to drop off some paperwork before leaving for the day, or maybe she needed to have a few words with her advisor. I darted up the stairs, jogging to the end of the hall where a small collection of graduate student offices were located, but her light was off and the door was closed. After a thorough check of the rest of the building, which included sending several strangers into all the women's restrooms, I concluded that Bella wasn't inside.

My heart skipped a beat in my chest, the familiar feeling of panic seeping into my veins and slowly taking hold of me. Whipping my phone out of my pocket, I sent Bella a quick text.

**Where are you?**

I hit send, waiting a minute for her to reply, but I didn't hear anything back so I texted her again.

**I'm waiting for you ****inside the College of Behavioral Sciences.**** Please tell me where to find you.**

Again, I waited, this time for two painfully long minutes, during which time I tried to come up with a logical explanation for why Bella wasn't there. I focused on anything... anything other than where my mind was determined to wander on its own. If I allowed myself to go down that road, I might have a nervous breakdown.

**Fucking, please! Where are you, Bella? You're scaring me!**

I texted her again as I bolted out the front door of the building. _Damn it!_ She knew how important it was for her to wait for me inside, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she had left, not to mention why she wasn't responding to my texts. In a matter of moments I was breathing heavily as I sprinted across the lawn. I wasn't sure where I was headed; I just knew I needed to find Bella.

I was about to turn in the direction of the cafeteria, thinking that maybe she had decided to grab a bite to eat, when I saw it - a small hand waving at me from under the umbrella of a large tree standing fifty yards away. Relief immediately washed over me, nearly bringing me to my knees, but adrenaline still coursed through my body and my muscles were still wound tight. I marched over to Bella with an angry scowl on my face.

_What the hell are you doing?_ I signed in aggravation when I stood before her. The smile present on her face only moments before quickly fell.

_*Edward, what's wrong?*_

_ What's wrong? What's fucking wrong? _I was sure I looked like a complete lunatic, waving my hands frantically about, but I didn't care. _You scared the shit out of me, Bella! I didn't know where you were! Why the hell didn't you answer my texts?_

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, her indignation plain to see.

_*Calm down,*_ she ordered, pinning me with a furious stare. _*My phone is in my bag. I didn't realized you'd texted me.*_

_ Why didn't you wait for me inside? We have a plan, Bella, and we need to stick to it!_

_ *A plan?* _she angrily shot back.

_Yes, a plan. For the last two weeks you've met me inside the building. Why are you suddenly sitting outside? It's not safe!_

_*Edward, this is getting to be ridiculous! You're not my keeper!*_ Bella sharply signed, her face set hard in anger. _*You can't keep me locked up just because you think it's safe! I'm fine! I just wanted a little bit of fresh air, that's all. It's such a beautiful evening out...*_

Bella's hands fell to her side as she took in my bedraggled appearance. My face was flushed, my breathing was labored and my eyes were wide with worry. Angry and defensive one moment, she was sympathetic the next, reaching out with her hand to calm me with her touch.

_*Come sit with me,*_ she beckoned with a resigned sigh, and I grasped her hand tightly in mine, holding onto her for dear life. Touching her, it was like someone had plugged me back in. I felt connected... whole again. I sat down by Bella's side, immediately pulling her into a firm hug. She returned the embrace, securing her arms around the center of my back and guiding my head into the crook of her neck. She held me there for several long minutes, her fingers pulling gently through my hair in short and soothing strokes.

She was comforting me. Bella was comforting _me_.

_I'm sorry, _I signed when I had finally calmed down enough to speak. _ I... when I couldn't find you, I panicked. You weren't in the building and I didn't know where you were and..._

_ *Stop.* _

Bella's hands slipped overtop of mine, suspending them in midair. _*It's okay. I understand.*_

My eyes fell closed as I struggled to remain in control of my emotions. I felt like I was losing it... losing total control of my entire life. Two short weeks ago, everything was as it should be. My life was as close to picture perfect as I thought possible. But ever since Bella had been taken, I was increasingly preoccupied with thoughts of _what if, _and these thoughts were slowly starting to eat me alive.

_*Are you okay?*_ Bella tentatively signed once I opened my eyes again. Her own were shadowed over by deep concern - _concern for me_.

I shrugged my shoulders, unable to articulate an honest answer. I didn't want to admit how fucked up I really was - that even in his absence, the presence of the man who had violated her was still so strong.

_*Edward, we can't do this,*_ she continued with a sad shake of her head. _*We can't let some anonymous individual completely control our lives!*_

_I was really fucking scared that night,_ I signed in response, the feelings still so strong inside of me that it felt like just yesterday that Bella had been taken. _Why does this seem easy for you?_ I wondered, my forehead falling against hers. _You're so pulled together, and I'm a complete wreck. _

_*It's not easy,* _Bella signed, her eyes meeting mine in a pointed gaze. *_Believe me, it's not. But I won't let some person I don't even know invade my life and change every part of who I am. I don't like feeling out of control, Edward. I don't like looking over my shoulder every second of every day. I don't like feeling scared all the time. I... I can't live my life like that.*_

Bella stared deep into my eyes, a helpless expression etched deep into the lines of her face. Although she didn't say it, I knew I contributed to her anxiety. I tried not to hover too much, but the truth of the matter was I hadn't let her out of my sight more than a handful of times since she had been taken two weeks prior. When she wasn't with me, I made sure she was with someone else. I constantly hounded Bella, reminding her to be watchful and to tell me if she saw anything out of the ordinary. God only knows I gave her cause for being on edge, and I hated that, but I didn't know what to do to change that.

_*I need some space,*_ Bella signed, and I immediately froze at her words. _*Not that type of space,*_ she rushed to explain after seeing the panicked expression on my face. _*I just don't want to feel like I'm a prisoner anymore. The sooner we get back to living our lives, the sooner we can put this episode behind us.*_

_ I think it's too soon to let our guard down, _I signed, feeling strongly that we still needed to remain vigilant.

_*Edward... whoever did this to me, they're not coming back. It was a crime of opportunity, and the more I think about it, I'm willing to bet Officer Thompson might be right. For whatever reason, the perpetrator was looking to put the fear of God in me. He accomplished his objective and he left.*_

_But why?_ I signed in frustration. _I still can't figure out why!_

_ *I don't know!* _Bella responded in frustration, just as fed up with the situation as me. *_All I know is that I refuse to give my life over to this monster. Two weeks... two weeks, Edward, we've been running from our own shadows! It's not right. I want us to be us again,*_ she pleaded, her hand coming to rest on top of my thigh. _*Can you please just try? Can you just try to relax a little? It's what we both need.*_

I knew Bella was right. I really did need to try and let go. We both did, but I didn't know how. I was still blinded by fear... the fear of losing Bella. As much as I hated to admit it, for the first time since knowing her, I viewed her as handicapped. She lacked a vital human sense - the sense of hearing. It had been taken from her before she ever took her first breath. Now, she wouldn't hear if someone approached her from behind. She wouldn't be able to react quickly enough to the presence of an intruder. This meant that if someone came after her again, they might be successful in accomplishing whatever sick objectives they set forth, and that thought terrified me.

Still, I knew I needed to try, if not for my sake then for Bella's.

_I'll try_, I said, doing my best to appear as if I actually meant what I said, but Bella is a keen observer, and she noted my lack of conviction.

_*Promise me,* _she pressed, her eyes boring into mine.

_ I will, I'll try. _

**One Month**

I tried, I really did. I think even Bella would agree that after our talk under the tree that evening, I tried to let go. I didn't hover so closely, and I didn't text her as much. I still drove her to and from school, and I continued to do my best to ensure there was someone available to escort her around campus once she was there, but as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a month, Bella seemed less and less willing to comply with my wishes.

It all came to a head one Monday morning. I had another early morning meeting on campus, and there was no one available to drive Bella to school later in the day. I wasn't crazy about her spending the morning alone in the apartment. We had installed a security system, but I preferred for her to be on campus, where I felt she was safe. Bella protested when I told her she needed to ride with me, and this time she put her foot down, telling me she was going to stay home and drive herself to campus when she was ready.

_I really wish you'd reconsider,_ I signed, trying not to appear too impatient, but I didn't have time for this.

_*I won't reconsider. I'm tired of depending on everybody else to watch out for me. It was a comfort in the beginning, but now it's just a nuisance!*_

_A nuisance?_

_*Yes, Edward, a nuisance! I can't go anywhere or do anything without reporting to you beforehand, and even then, you insist upon a chaperone. Four weeks ago, I needed that. It helped me to feel safe. But I don't need it anymore. Can't you see? I want to get back to normal, is that so much to ask?*_

_ It's not safe, Bella. We still don't know..._

_ *We'll probably never know!* _Bella signed in frustration, waving her hands angrily in front of me. _*We'll never know who abducted me because it was a random act! I've come to terms with that, Edward, and the police have too. It's past time you did the same!*_

_So what are you suggesting? That we just go back to the way things were before?_

_*That's exactly what I'm saying, and it's not a suggestion. I'm telling you what we both need, Edward, and that is to let the fuck go! These past few weeks, we've turned into shadows of our former selves. We never go out anymore – we travel from the apartment to campus and back again. Going to the grocery is a luxury! I understand what happened affected us both, but for whatever reason, it doesn't seem like you're able to let it go!*_

_ You're right. I can't._

_*Why not? Why are you making such a big deal out of this?*_

_Why am I making a big deal out of this? Are you even serious? Bella, you were kidnapped!_ _Why are you pretending like what happened isn't important?_ I countered in angry disbelief. _Oh, right, because that's what you do. You gloss everything over and pretend things don't matter, even when it comes to your own safety! You have no sense of __self-preservation, Bella, and it's really starting to frustrate me!_

_*You're suffocating me Edward!*_

I reeled in shock, Bella's exclamation taking me completely by surprise and hitting me with a force I wouldn't have expected. I stepped back from her, affronted by her words.

_I love you! _I signed, still trying to process what she'd just said. _ I want you to be safe! How can you say I'm suffocating you when all I want is for you to be safe?_

_*But at what expense?_ Bella signed in response, her face twisted tight in frustration._ You're killing me, Edward... you're killing us! You tell me what to do on a daily basis and I just... I can't live my life like that anymore. I won't be controlled by you, Edward, I won't. I'm deaf, but that doesn't mean I'm defenseless or that I need someone to direct my life for me. I've fought too hard and for too long not to let that happen.*_

_That's not what I'm trying to do._

_ *But if feels that way to me.*_

_I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do. _

_*Ease up on me, Edward. Give me some room to breathe,* _Bella pleaded.

_ If that means compromising your safety, then I'm not sure I can..._

_*Then I'm not sure we have a future together. I can't... I just can't...*_

_ Bella please..._ I moved toward her, wanting desperately to fix this clusterfuck of a situation we found ourselves in, but she backed away from me.

_*I think we both need some time,* _she signed while shaking her head sadly. _ *We both need some time to figure things out.*_

_Are you breaking up with me?_ I asked, my hands barely able to form the words. I was shaking now, my hands trembling uncontrollably between us.

_*No, I'm not breaking up with you,*_ Bella signed in response. _*But I need some space.*_

Two weeks ago, Bella had said the very same thing, only then she'd quickly reassured me she didn't need space from _me_. She didn't do that now. Instead, she just stood quietly in the hallway, watching me out of sad, resigned eyes.

_ *You're going to be late,* _she said, and while I couldn't care less about my meeting, it was clear she wanted me to leave. I could try to fight her, convince her that she was being unreasonable, but I knew it would do no good. Bella had made up her mind, and if I pushed her, I might lose her for good.

_When will I see you again?_ I asked, swallowing back the thick lump that was quickly forming in the back of my throat.

I wouldn't fucking cry.

_*We'll know when the time is right,*_ came Bella's vague response.

I didn't want to, but I knew I had no other choice but to respect her wishes. Stepping forward, I bent to kiss her temple, letting my lips linger for a long moment before pulling back and stepping away.

_I love you,_ I signed. _Please be safe._

_*I love you too,*_ she signed back, but for the first time since we'd exchanged those sacred words, the sentiment didn't bring me any comfort.

**Endnotes:**

**I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow and will be unable to reply to reviews during the two weeks that I'll be gone. The only internet connection available where I'm going is courtesy of a little coffee shop in the heart of the one stop light town. I will do my best to try and post the next chapter sometime next week. Thank you for your understanding!**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	26. Approaching Shore

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 26 - Approaching Shore**

I didn't sleep the night that Bella asked me to leave, nor did I sleep the night after, which meant that I was hardly able to function during the day. Studying was a lost cause, which was an important concern seeing as that finals started the following week. Finals, then graduation. My parents were scheduled to arrive in less than two weeks' time, but at that point I wasn't sure whether or not I would have a girlfriend to introduce them to or not. I tried not to think that way; I didn't want to be overly pessimistic, but I knew that I had screwed up, and the only way to possibly fix things would be to give Bella the space she needed in the hopes that she would eventually come around. I just wished she could see that I was acting out of concern for her. I had absolutely no desire to control her. I loved her, and I was terrified of her getting hurt. That was the crux of the matter.

I didn't go to sign language class on Monday; I figured it was best to stay away. Honestly, I was still so worked up over our disagreement that I wasn't sure I would be able to give Bella the space she needed. I wanted to honor her request; as much as it killed me to stay away from her, I wanted her to know that I had listened to what she'd said. This included denying the almost overwhelming urge I had to surreptitiously follow her from class to class. I was tempted to say "fuck it" and do whatever was necessary to keep her safe, but I knew if I was caught she would be angry with me, and I didn't want to give her any further reason to put space between us.

I couldn't skip class on Wednesday. We had a final coming up, and I needed to know what to study for the exam. When I stepped into the room, I was anxious and on edge. I sat in the back, tucked away in a corner, not wanting to see or talk to anybody.

When Bella arrived, I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. I hadn't seen her in over 48 hours, and they had been the longest 48 hours of my entire fucking life. Just knowing that she was all right was enough to temporarily settle my nerves. Bella looked up, her eyes scanning the room as she searched for me. _Had she noticed my absence on Monday afternoon? Had she missed me as much as I had missed her?_

I wondered about all of these things as I anxiously waited for her to find me in the crowd. When her eyes finally met mine, there was no need for me to wonder anymore. She was visibly relieved to see me, which was all the confirmation I needed to know that Bella didn't want to be away from me any more than I wanted to be away from her. This knowledge buoyed my hopes, making me believe we could work through our problems. My eyes lingered on hers, drinking the sight of her in before wandering south to her chest. There, I spotted her pendant, nestled in the valley between her breasts, and I had to swallow back the tidal wave of emotions that crashed into me when I thought about the night I had given it to her.

For the remainder of the period, Bella's pendant shone like a beacon in a storm, beckoning me forth and reassuring me that I still had something to hold on to. But storms can swallow us whole, and I worried I might drown while following my guiding light. How long was Bella going to make me wait? How long till I could hold her in my arms again, till I could make love to her like my mind and body ached to do? I needed answers to all these questions, but I knew I wouldn't get them today. It was too soon. Class ended, and with a forlorn glance in my direction, Bella was gone.

Friday played out much the same way Wednesday did. I waited a full ten minutes after sign language class was dismissed before walking from the College of Behavioral Sciences to the University Center. I knew if I left any earlier, I would be tempted to catch up with Bella. At the very minimum, I wouldn't be able to resist following her, so instead of creating more problems for myself, I directed my energy towards studying. It was definitely the wiser of my two choices. Exams began Monday, and I couldn't chance screwing up now, in my final hour. I had worked hard to get to where I was, and as preoccupied as I was by everything that was going on in my life, I couldn't let it derail my plans.

When I walked through the University Center doors, I briefly considered going home to study instead. There were students everywhere, occupying nearly every available table. But I reminded myself that was the reason I was there - because the quiet of my home reminded me too much of Bella, rendering me useless. Taking a seat at a small table off to the side, I opened my Biochemistry book only to be taken by surprise when Jake appeared opposite me, pulling out a chair and turning it around so that it was facing backward before swinging his leg over the side.

"What's up, Cullen?"

I looked up from my text into Jake's penetrating brown eyes, noting that his expression was anything but casual. Over the last month, he and I had formed a tentative friendship, so it wasn't unusual for us to stop to say hello when we ran into each other, but today it was clear he had something else on his mind, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what. He must have spoken to Bella.

"Not much," I cautiously replied. "Just trying to get some studying done."

"Where's Bella?" he pressed, wasting no time in cutting to the chase, and I sighed heavily, not really wanting to hash out my problems with him.

"I'm not sure," I answered in an off-handed tone. I turned my attention back to my text, hoping Jake would take a hint and leave, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Look, Edward," he sighed. "I know something happened between the two of you. I realize it's probably none of my business, and if you tell me to 'fuck off', I'll get up and leave, but Bella's hurting, and you know I don't like to see that. I thought at first it might have something to do with the case, but when I asked her about it, she told me that wasn't it."

"It's not," I confirmed with a resigned shake of my head. "In fact, she's all but put the incident behind her," I muttered before adding, "unlike me," under my breath.

"What's that?" Jake asked, his brows pulling together in curiosity as he turned his head to his side.

"Nothing," I mumbled, kicking myself for saying anything at all. I really didn't want to talk about this.

"Huh, that's funny," Jake commented while slowly running his thumb and forefinger under his chin in thought. "It doesn't sound like 'nothing' to me."

"Look, man," I said with a heavy sigh. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that Bella and I had a fight? Do you want me to tell you that I'm scared shitless of losing her? Because we did and I am."

"What was the fight about?"

Jake's words were delivered softly, laced with genuine concern, and when I raised my head to meet his solemn gaze, I realized he wasn't just worried about Bella - he was worried about me too. In that moment, I waged an internal war, questioning whether or not I should tell Jake what happened. I didn't like to openly discuss my problems with other people and certainly not with the ex-boyfriend of the girl I was in love with, but I had been trying to figure things out on my own for days now, and I hadn't met with any luck. It occurred to me then that maybe I needed some direction, some help in making sense of what had happened. Honestly, if this was the case, Jake was the best person for me to be talking to. Aside from me, he knew Bella better than anyone else. He was her best friend, after all, and had been for a very long time.

"She thinks I'm overprotective," I finally admitted, and I watched as Jake slowly nodded his head.

"You have every reason to be after what happened."

My eyes lit up in surprised relief.

"See? You understand! Why can't Bella understand too?" I lamented with a frustrated sigh.

"I said you had every reason to be overprotective, Edward, not that you should be," Jake qualified upon noting my reaction. He's words deflated me, and immediately put me on the defensive.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," I growled. Jake threw his hands in the air, signaling to me that he wasn't interested in a fight, and I felt guilty for snapping at him.

"It means I understand that you're worried about Bella, but there's a difference between demonstrating concern for someone and stealing their freedom."

"Did she say that?" I asked.

"No, she didn't, but she doesn't have to, Edward. I've been with you all month long, coordinating my schedule with the both of yours so she never has to be alone, all at your insistence."

Jake paused, searching for the right words to say before continuing. "I know you've been keeping Bella close these past few weeks, and I understand why, but she's never been one to respond well to being told what to do. She's an independent woman, Edward, you know that. Maybe it just got to be too much for her," Jake surmised with a sagely shrug of his shoulders.

"What do people expect from me?" I ground out, completely exasperated by the situation. I understood what Jake was saying, I really did, but why couldn't he and Bella understand where I was coming from too? Bella was _everything_ to me. She was the woman I'd fallen in love with, the only woman I could ever see spending my life with, and I was terrified of losing that; I was terrified of losing everything that meant anything to me. Why couldn't they see that? I didn't act out of some twisted need to control Bella, I acted out of... out of...

"Jesus Christ," I swore under my breath as my hands found their way into my hair. I desperately wanted to say that I had acted out of love, but I realized then it wouldn't have been the truth for the reality was, all those weeks I'd been acting out of _fear_. My overprotectiveness had been a reaction to the fear I felt that I might lose Bella. But was that any way to live? I was wound up so tight lately that I could barely think straight most of the time, so I knew I was miserable to be around. Add to that my constant need to know where Bella was and what she was doing, and it was no wonder she had asked me for space. The question was would things ever get back to normal? Could I ever learn to let go?

"God this is so fucked up," I cried in frustration. "I just... I was trying to do what I thought was best."

"Maybe what's best for you isn't what Bella feels is best for her," Jake spoke quietly. "Try and think about things from her perspective," he continued. "Her entire life, she's had to fight harder than most to prove herself as competent and capable. You've seen it; I know you've seen the way some people view the deaf. They see them as handicapped, as somehow lacking the ability to fully function in society. Bella's worked hard to prove that's not the case, but now, here you are, telling her precisely what she's fought so hard to deny - that she's not capable of taking care of herself, that she needs someone to do it for her."

"I just want her to be safe," I whispered in a defeated tone of voice, because at the end of the day, that's what this was really all about.

"I know you do," Jake replied sympathetically. "But at what expense?" he wondered aloud. "You're killing her spirit, Edward, the most beautiful part of who she is. Is it really worth that? Is it really worth losing her over?" he pressed. "Because it's entirely possible you could. If you hover too closely and insist on telling her what to do, you could lose Bella. She's loves you, I don't doubt that for a minute, but there are some things I know she's just not willing to give up."

Jake's words hung heavy in my ears. As if I didn't have enough to think about already, Jake had just given me more. I scrubbed my hands over my face in frustration, wishing this fucking nightmare would come to an end. Knowing I would never get any studying done now, I flipped my book closed and slipped it inside my backpack. When I turned back to face Jake, his expression was firm.

"Don't screw this up, Cullen," he said in friendly warning. "Take it from me; you've got a hell of a lot to lose."

"I know I do," I replied in all honesty before thanking him for his advice and heading on my way.

Later that night, I lay in bed, thinking about everything Jake had said. My mind was spinning in multiple directions, and now, more than ever, I needed Bella there to ground me and to help me through. Five days... it had been five days since we'd last spoken, and the silence was slowly killing me. Unable to resist, I picked up my phone and sent her a text. I just needed to feel connected to her, consequences be damned.

**Are you still up?**

I sent the text knowing there was a chance she wouldn't respond either because it was late or because she didn't want to, so I couldn't contain the smile that crept across my face when moments later a response lit up my screen.

**Yeah. Still studying. How about you?**

I resisted the urge to ask her where she was, even though I was dying to know. I knew I needed to work on trusting Bella - trusting that she could take care of herself, even though every instinct I had told me to do whatever was necessary to protect her. It was a constant battle within me, one I wasn't sure I would ever win.

**About to go to bed. I miss you.**

**I miss you too.**

Her reply was instantaneous, which encouraged me a little. There was no hesitation on her part to reassure me she felt the same way I did, so I staked my hope to that very fact, praying that soon she would have no reason to miss me.

**Promise me something, will you? **

**What's that?**

**Think about me tonight before you go to sleep.**

I hit send, hoping I wasn't overstepping my bounds. Thankfully, Bella only took a moment to respond, and when she did, her words were enough to soothe my weary soul.

**I will. But Green Eyes? **

The screen went blank for a moment, and I lay in bed, anxiously awaiting the rest of Bella's response. It was slow in coming, which made me wonder if she was at home, tucked snugly underneath her sheets, and had fallen asleep while texting me. The thought warmed my heart, but then my phone buzzed in my hand.

**You don't have to ask me to promise you that. I think about you every night before I go to sleep.**

Uponreading her words, I exhaled a shaky sigh, my feelings collapsing in on me as a rush of emotions consumed me. God, I wanted to be with Bella... needed to feel her by my side. But I wouldn't go to her. Even though every part of me screamed to be near her, I wouldn't go to her. Instead, I would give her the space she needed in the hopes that my actions would speak as loudly as my words.

**I think about you every night too. Goodnight, my one and only. I love you.**

By Sunday evening, I thought I might lose my mind. I hadn't spoken with Bella since our impromptu conversation on Friday night, and I hadn't touched her in nearly one week. I wondered how much longer our self-imposed separation would last. I didn't really have a clear idea of what exactly we were doing. I had been waiting for Bella to approach me, to tell me that she was ready to work things out, but now I wondered if maybe I was the one that would have to make the first move. Maybe that's what she had been waiting for all along. I still wasn't sure I was ready to tell her what she wanted to hear, but I knew I needed to tell her something. I knew we needed to talk.

Emmett's boisterous voice boomed through our small apartment, alerting me to his presence before he popped his head inside my room.

"Hey, Edward! Time for a break! You've had your head in your books and a stick up your ass all weekend. There's a pre-exam party at Tanya's sorority tonight, and you're going to tag along. I'm not taking _no_ for an answer."

"A pre-exam party?" I questioned while looking up from my books. "That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one."

"Whatever, dude. You need a serious break. You've been way too intense for your own good this past week."

I started to protest, but Emmett held up his hand, preventing me from speaking.

"Look. I get it. I know you and Bella are taking some time to sort things through, but you're wound up so tight you're never going to come to your senses. You need to fucking relax."

"Oh yeah? And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

"By going out with your best friend and drinking a couple of beers, that's how," Emmett snorted, as if the answer to my question was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Em, look. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure that going to a party at Tanya's sorority..."

"Oh, get over yourself you pompous ass," Emmett joshed with an intentional roll of his eyes. "That girl is long over you. And thank God for that. Seems you're in love with another woman."

"Tanya's dating someone?" I inquired with genuine surprise, and Emmett confirmed my question with a nod of his head.

"For about a month now, oh ye who lives under a fucking rock. Nice guy, too. Rose and I really like him."

"Well, I'm happy for her. I always liked her... just not in that way."

"Yeah, in retrospect, it was pretty obvious from the start that Bella was the one that would own your ass."

**"**That is until I fucked everything up," I muttered.

"You didn't fuck everything up, Edward," Emmett interjected with a loud sigh. "You and Bella are just taking some time to figure things out is all, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Sometimes a little time and space can give us the perspective we need to move forward."

I studied Emmett curiously, surprised by his thoughtful insight.

"Since when did you become so wise?" I wondered while cracking a smile for the first time that night. Emmett returned my smile.

"Believe me, brother, there's much more advice to be given if you'll just follow me into my lair... or Tanya's lair. Fuck, that came out all wrong," Emmett mumbled with a hearty, embarrassed laugh. I laughed along with him, and I was pretty sure it was the first time that sound had escaped my lips in more than a month.

"One hour, Em. That's all I'm giving you," I said as I pushed my books to the side and stood from where I was studying at my desk.

"I can work with that," was Emmett's pleased response, and ten minutes later we were on our way to a party.

Walking into Tanya's sorority house was kind of surreal and reminded me that I hadn't lived much of a college life since I'd met Bella. I couldn't remember the last time I had attended a sorority party; it was probably in the beginning of the semester last year. Not that I cared. Pushing past the crowd of inebriated people, I didn't miss a thing. There had been a point in my life when I enjoyed this type of scene. Truth be told, I would have seen it as the perfect place to pick up a girl, screw around a little and leave. But I wasn't that person anymore. The thought of touching another woman repulsed me. There was only room in my heart for one person now, and that was Bella.

I was a little surprised by the number of people out partying on the Sunday night before exams started. Then again, I understood more than most the need to fucking let go. The stress of school was enough to bring anyone down, let alone the stress of a relationship piled on top of that. Still, I intended to stick to my word and only hang out for an hour. A couple of beers on the back porch with Emmett and I decided I would be ready to go. I was actually ready to go the moment I walked through the front door, but I wanted to humor Emmett, who was trying, in his own way, to help me.

As I stepped outside into the thick humidity of the night air, I spotted Tanya and Rose standing off to the side with who I could only assume was Tanya's new boyfriend. Both girls raised their hands in greeting, but they didn't make any move to walk in my direction. That was okay. I wasn't up for small talk and instead let my eyes aimlessly roam the crowd, people-watching while Emmett grabbed us something to drink. There were a lot of fucking people out tonight, but it didn't take long for me to notice a thick head of bouncy, blonde hair I knew all too well.

Jessica.

I groaned when almost as soon as I spotted her, she turned in my direction and waved.

"Hi, Edward!" she yelled from across the lawn. Before I even had a chance to acknowledge her, she was moving in my direction, drink in hand.

"What are you doing here?" she asked upon making her way to my side. Though she wasn't drunk, she was definitely buzzed, a trademark goofy grin plastered across her face.

"Taking a break from studying," I shrugged. "I came with some friends."

"No girlfriend?" she brazenly wondered, and I bristled at her words.

"No. She's home studying."

I wasn't entirely certain that was the case, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell Jessica that I was working through some issues with my girlfriend. Though she supposedly had a boyfriend, the way her eyes lingered on my lips made me feel uncomfortable, and I didn't want to give her any ideas.

"Oh, well I'm here with my boyfriend. He's around here somewhere," she said while gesturing about with her hand. "Oh, there he is!" she exclaimed, and when I looked in the direction in which she was pointing, my heart turned to stone in my chest.

"What the fuck?" I growled under my breath as steely blue eyes locked with my own. I'd know that face fucking anywhere.

"Motherfucker!" I swore out loud, and Jessica turned to me in alarm.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

"Jessica, please tell me you're not dating... James," I seethed. I saw him marching in our direction with a smug expression on his face, and all the anger and rage I'd felt that night in the club when he had mercilessly teased Bella came rushing up to the surface.

"What's your problem?" Jessica asked, her eyes narrowing in annoyance at my loathing. "Do you two know each other?"

Before I had a chance to answer her, Emmett appeared before me, worry etched deeply in the lines of his face.

"Calm the fuck down, Edward," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me he'd be here?" I snapped.

"I didn't know..."

Just then, James arrived at Jessica's side, interrupting our exchange. I watched as his arm slipped possessively around her waist, and I had to stifle a revolted laugh. As if I coveted her. My eyes traced the lines of his unfriendly face, my lips curling up in disgust as he smirked in my direction.

"What's up, Cullen? How's that girlfriend of yours?" he asked while flashing me a sinister smile.

Jessica stared up at her boyfriend in confusion.

"You know Edward?" she asked.

"You could say we're acquainted," James casually offered, his hand coming up to rub along the crooked edge of his nose.

In that moment, time stood still as everything fell into place, and I couldn't believe that I hadn't put the pieces of the puzzle together before. A rush of adrenaline shot through my system, driving me forward in uncontrollable rage as my hand drew back before throwing a punch. Jessica's shrill scream drowned out my furious cry.

"I'll fucking kill you, you motherfucker!"

My fist was millimeters away from James' face when I felt Emmett's rough arms forcefully pull me back.

"What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" he screamed into my ear. My chest was heaving, my eyes were wide, and my hands flailed helplessly by my side.

"Let me go!" I shouted, not caring that I was drawing the attention of every asshole at the party. Meanwhile, James just stared on at me with the sickest, most twisted grin I'd ever seen. "He's the one, Emmett! He's the one who fucking took her! He took Bella!" I yelled.

Emmett's body tensed behind me, his breath catching in the back of his throat as his chest tightened in alarm.

"How do you know?" he ground out, his arms still strong around me. I struggled to escape, but he was too fucking strong.

"His nose, Emmett! His broken nose! Bella said... she said his nose was crooked. And he was there that night, weren't you, you motherfucker!" I yelled in James' direction.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Jessica pleaded. Tears were shining in her eyes as she looked between me and James. Spectators looked on, but none of them dared to interfere.

"That night one month ago, when I saw you at Techinque in Ybor City," I seethed while turning to face her. "He was there with you, wasn't he? James is the boyfriend you were talking about..."

"Ye...ye... yes," Jessica stammered, and I noticed James' face fall just a little before he composed himself again. The fucker was worried she would give him away.

"Your boyfriend is a fucking monster!" I yelled, still struggling against Emmett's hold. "He's a fucking sociopath! He took my girlfriend and tied her up. He dragged her through the streets of Ybor City and left her to fend for herself in an alley!" I cried, my voice on the verge of tears.

"Are you crazy?" Jessica screeched. "What in the hell are you talking about?" From the look of shock on her face, it was clear she had no idea what James was capable of.

"I'm talking about James! He attacked my fucking girlfriend and I'm going to fucking kill him for it!"

Emmett's arms tightened around me from behind.

"Stop making threats, Edward," he warned, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I needed to listen to him. From the smug look on James' face, I could see that he was enjoying watching me fall apart. The fucker was baiting me, waiting for me to take a strike so that he could call the police on me.

I didn't fucking care. Let him call the police. He wouldn't be so smug when his ass landed behind bars on charges of kidnapping and false imprisonment!

"Who's your girlfriend?" Jessica cried, obviously distraught and trying as hard as I was to make sense of the situation. When I told her it was Isabella Swan, her eyes opened wide in horror. Her hand clapped tight against her mouth and she let out a strangled gasp.

"You know, don't you," I challenged her. "You know he did it!" I screamed.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head and wiping at the tears that were now streaming down the center of both her cheeks. "He, he..." Jessica turned pleading eyes on James before her head snapped back in my direction. "He wouldn't do that..."

"He would and he did!" I yelled before growling, "fucking let me go, Emmett!"

I needed to get to James. I needed to make him pay for everything he'd put Bella and me through over the last month, but Emmett wouldn't budge.

"I won't let you go, Edward," Emmett growled right back, and before I knew it, he was pulling me backward, around the side of the sorority house and through the gate leading out to the front lawn.

"Jesus Christ, let me go, Emmett! Where are you taking me?" I started kicking and hitting, doing my best to break free, but the harder I fought, the tighter Emmett's hold on me was. _Fuck football and all the years of physical training that went into creating a fucking perfect athlete,_ I thought to myself, knowing I had no hopes of escaping the grip of a man who played offensive tackle on his high school football team. Knowing it was a worthless cause, I eventually stopped fighting him, letting my back slump against his chest.

"Are you fucking done?" Emmett asked, his labored breathing causing his chest to furiously pound against my back. He held me firm until I nodded my head. "Good, because I'm not going in there and saving your ass again. What the fuck was that, Edward?"

Stepping free of Emmett's iron clad embrace, I swung around and faced him.

"That sick shit took Bella!" I yelled, completely pissed off at the accusatory tone in Emmett's voice. Whose side was he on, anyway?

"Do you know that for a fact?" he shot back.

"Yes... no... fuck!" I ran my hands up in my hair, tugging sharply in frustration. "I don't know for sure, okay? What I do know is that asshole was goading me, begging me to lose control. I saw it Emmett, I saw it in his eyes. He took Bella, I know it. She said his nose was crooked... she said his nose was crooked..." I wiped furiously at my face as angry tears unexpectedly sprung to my eyes and it was then that Emmett's face softened.

"Shit, man, you're a mess," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"Fuck! I can't fucking do this anymore!" I cried. "I just want things to go back to the way they were before, Emmett. I just want Bella back."

"I don't think you've lost her, Edward," Emmett quietly stated while stepping forward and clapping a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It's just... shit... everything's been so intense this last month. But do you seriously think she'd be okay with you going off on James like that?"

"That sick fuck belongs in jail," I spat. "I'd be doing him a favor knocking him off now because if people knew what he did to a completely helpless woman he wouldn't last long behind bars."

"Jesus, Edward, you've got to shut the fuck up," Emmett snarled, his voice once again cold and hard. "If someone hears you..."

"I don't give a fuck who hears me!" I shouted before realizing I was very close to losing control again. I took a deep breath, sinking to the grass below me as I buried my head in the palms of my hands.

Emmett gave me a few moments to collect myself before coming to sit by my side. "If James did this, what do you think his motive was?" he quietly inquired. "Not that he'd necessarily need one. I told you before, that boy's got serious problems. Thank God Victoria got out of that relationship."

_Yeah, Victoria got out and Jessica got in,_ I thought to myself.

"I don't know," I replied with a frustrated sigh. "Revenge maybe? For me breaking his nose?"

Emmett considered this for a moment before slowly nodding his head. "I guess it's possible. But if that's the case, think about it this way. Now we know. We know who went after Bella that night and why, so there's no reason to continue walking around, wondering who did it or whether they're coming back."

I looked up at Emmett in surprise. I hadn't really considered that point, though even if it was true, it didn't necessarily make me feel any better. James seemed to have some twisted fascination with Bella, and it scared the ever living fuck out of me. But sitting there on the ground, one thing was slowly becoming clear...

I couldn't fucking do this anymore. I couldn't do this without Bella. I fucking needed her with me and we needed to work this shit out together. So while a part of me wanted to bolt back into that party and find James and pommel him into the ground, the larger part of me knew I had somewhere else I needed to be.

"Em?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Can you give me a lift to Bella's?"

Emmett cautiously appraised me as he considered my request.

"Are you sure that's the best thing to do right now?"

"It's the only thing to do," I said with conviction as I stood from where I sat. And when Emmett rose from the ground beside me, I could see it in his face that he couldn't agree with me more.

**Endnotes:**

**So, I really dislike when there's a lot going on in a story and I have to wait weeks in-between updates, so I wandered into town to post this. Currently, I'm gazing out at the wide expanse of Lake Erie, thankful to be free of the stifling Forida heat. I've been coming to this sleepy little lakefront town for 30 years now. Some of you may remember Kelley's Island from Chance Encounter - it's just a five minute boat ride away. I'll be going there on Friday. It would be nice if life was always this simple. The Fandom fell into a state of crisis this past week, and I've got to admit, I let it affect me way more than I should. Maybe it's good that I'll be disconnected these next few weeks. **

**Anyway, as much as I hate to say it, it will definitely be a minimum of 2 weeks before the next update, but at least you know that Edward is going to get his girl back. ;) Hopefully that will be enough to make up for where things left off last chapter.**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back!


	27. The Calm after the Storm

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 27 – The Calm After the Storm **

By the time we turned into Bella's apartment complex, I'd managed to temper some of my emotional intensity. I was still a wreck; the confrontation with James had really fucked with me. Just the thought that he had touched Bella, let alone violated her by stripping her of her senses and dragging her through the streets of Ybor City was enough to cause me to come completely undone. My entire body was vibrating with an animalistic need to hunt him down and make him suffer for what he'd done. But I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't chance alienating myself from Bella. Having to face life without her this past week was enough to sober me up to reality and keep me from doing something stupid. If I'd learned anything during our time apart it was that I fucking needed her. I loved Bella, and it didn't matter what I had to do, I was going to make certain we didn't let what happened swallow us whole. We couldn't. We simply had too much to lose.

"You gonna be okay? You want me to hang around for a bit?" Emmett asked as he pulled into a parking space in front of Bella's apartment. I was relieved to see that her lights were on. I hadn't been sure whether or not she would be home when I left the party, but I had decided against texting her to let her know I was on my way because in the back of my mind, I was worried she might try to talk me out of it.

"No, man. It's all right. I'll be okay."

"You sure?" he pressed. He sounded worried. "What if she doesn't let you in?"

"She'll let me in," I replied, sounding more confident than I actually felt. The truth was I didn't know for sure that she would, but I needed to talk to Bella, and I was willing to do whatever was necessary to make that happen, even if I had to camp out on her front step.

"Okay. Well, call me if you need me, all right? It doesn't matter what time."

I turned to look at Emmett, sincerely grateful for everything he had done to help me tonight. Thank God one of us had kept our heads about us at the party. I didn't even want to think about how Bella would have reacted if I'd landed my ass in jail for attacking James. Not that the fucker didn't deserve it; he deserved all that and much more as far as I was concerned, but I didn't have any actual proof that he'd been the one to take Bella, and meting out justice on my own wouldn't solve anything. I wouldn't make that sort of egregious error, not when it seemed my entire life hung in the balance.

"Thanks, Em. For everything. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there tonight…"

"Don't thank me," Emmett replied with a shake of his head. "Just don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"I won't," I promised before exiting his Jeep. I slapped my hand twice on the hood before he backed away. When he'd disappeared around the corner, I took a deep breath and walked towards Bella's front door.

"Don't fuck this up, Cullen," I mumbled to myself under my breath as I pressed the doorbell twice in succession.

Through the window, I could see the lights in Bella's apartment flicker off and on, alerting her to my presence. The blinds were drawn, so it was impossible for me to see inside. They were supposed to remain permanently closed to prevent unwanted persons from peering inside. It was a precaution the police had suggested we take. Bella hadn't minded at first, but as the weeks wore on, she complained about the dark. She didn't like it. It made her feel edgy and depressed. She wanted to let the light in, but I'd warned her that I didn't think it was a good idea. Eventually, against my wishes, she began opening the blinds during the day. I wasn't happy about it, but she snapped at me when I suggested they remain closed. I was glad to see that at least at night, she had enough sense to keep them drawn.

Rubbing my palms against the smooth grain of my jeans, I shifted my weight from foot to foot as I anxiously waited for Bella to open the door. It seemed like forever before I heard the all too familiar sound of the deadbolt and lock disengaging, and I watched as the door swung slowly open.

When I saw Bella standing there, illuminated by the warm glow of the front stoop light, I sucked in a ragged breath. I hadn't been this close to her in nearly a week, and every part of me cried out to touch her. The pull was magnetic, north connecting to south in an attraction neither one of us could ever deny. Bella felt it too. It might not have been obvious to anybody but me, but the way her body trembled with the effort it took not to immediately move into my waiting arms told me she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her.

In the end, Bella couldn't stay away from me. She was as weak as I was, both of us desperate for each other's touch, and I knew in that moment she wouldn't turn me away. Stepping forward, I pushed open the door, closing the distance between us and reaching out to cradle her face in the palms of my hands before leaning in and softly brushing my lips against hers.

Stripped of her defenses, Bella's delicate lips molded quietly against mine. It was a bittersweet kiss, tinged with longing and frustration and the desperate need to reconnect with each other. Unable to hold back, I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Bella's needy hands fisted into my shirt, fastening her body securely against mine, and in a matter of moments, we were kissing each other with tameless abandon, our mouths moving together with such force it elicited desperate sighs from the both of us. In the back of my mind I _knew_ that we needed to sit down and talk, but I needed her so much in that moment that I didn't even think to question whether or not we were getting ahead of ourselves. I just gave myself over to instinct, to pure and unbridled desire and my singular need to be as close to Bella as possible.

Never parting my lips from hers, I guided us into the apartment, pushing the door closed with my foot all the while walking backward until Bella was pressed firmly against the wall. She whimpered as I pressed the entire length of my body against hers, her mouth stealing the breath from mine as she showed me with her body just how much she had missed me. I'd fucking missed her too, and even though I knew it was probably wrong, I wanted to be with her right then and there. I wanted to bury myself inside of her. Everything else faded to black except her and me and our two bodies that were screaming to be joined. I pressed myself harder against her, eliciting a soft moan from her perfectly parted lips, but as I kissed her sweet face, the salty taste of freshly shed tears brought me up short, and it was then that I knew I had to pull back.

Leaning my forehead against Bella's, I took a deep and centering breath before raising my right hand to her face and gently brushing the tears from her cheek. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you," I whispered.

Bella's lower lip trembled as she quietly acknowledged my spoken words, emotion hanging thick in her expressive brown eyes. For a brief moment, her hand moved to cover mine. She held the palm of my hand tight against her cheek before slipping both her hands between us to sign.

_*I've missed you, Green Eyes. You can't begin to know how much. But…* _Bella hesitated before continuing._ *We need to talk.*_

_I know, _I acknowledged with a silent nod of my head, not bothering with trying to delay the inevitable. While I would have much rather swept Bella off of her feet and carried her into her room to make love to her, that wouldn't happen until we cleared the air.

Bella gazed deep into my eyes. *_Are you ready?* _

I nodded my head again while waving the letter "r" between the two of us. A hint of a relieved smile ghosted across Bella's face, and she took my hand in hers, leading me over to the couch where we sat down across from each another, far enough apart so that we could comfortably sign but close enough together that our bodies were still touching.

_*I'm glad you came,*_ Bella stated once we were finally settled together on the couch. She never looked away as she signed, making sure to hold my gaze firm with hers, and I was relieved to see that she was genuine in her words. The conversation we were about to have would be a whole lot easier with the both of us acting as willing participants.

_This past week has been hell for me,_ I sighed.

_*It's been difficult for me too,* _Bella admitted. She paused for a moment before signing, _*Edward, I'm so sorry…*_

Her apology took me by surprise, and I tried to interrupt her, telling her she didn't have anything to be sorry for, but she wouldn't let me.

_*Please, just hear me out,* _she requested with pleading eyes, and I acknowledged her request with a silent nod.

_* I've been thinking a lot about what happened this past week. I was actually going to come by your apartment tomorrow, but you're here now, so...*_

_*I realize now I never should have walked away from you, Edward. I had my reasons, and they made sense to me at the time, but it was the wrong thing to do. I should have recognized that we were dealing with an incredibly stressful situation in two entirely different ways, and tried harder to come up with a solution that worked for the both of us. But I didn't. Instead, I pushed you away. You're the one person who means more to me than anything else, and I pushed you away. I'm so sorry.*_

Bella hung her head in remorse, clearly repentant for the part she felt she had played in our separation, but I couldn't stand by and let her shoulder the entire burden when the truth was we both bore responsibility - me more so than her.

"Hey," I murmured, reaching out to tilt her chin upwards while shaking my head slowly back and forth. _Don't do that. Neither one of us are entirely to blame here. You tried talking to me and telling me that I was being too controlling, but I wouldn't listen. _

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the words I needed to help her understand why I'd behaved the way I had.

_I was driven by fear, Bella, _I finally explained. _I was driven by the fear that something else might happen to you – that someone might try to take you again and hurt you and… God… _I paused, a small shudder running through my body._ It got to the point that if you weren't in my direct line of sight, I was completely overcome with anxiety. It was like I couldn't function without having visible evidence that you were safe. But, taking a step back, I see now how wrong that was. It's no way to live. You kept trying to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen._

_*You only wanted to keep me safe,* _Bella replied with a sad shake of her head.

_I did, but… listen to me. Tonight, I… I almost fucked things up, and I realized that nothing was worth losing you…_

Bella's eyes rose to meet mine.

_*What happened?* _she asked, her expression shifting to one of worry. I swallowed hard before continuing.

_I saw James._

No sooner had I signed his name than Bella froze in place, the breath catching in the back of her throat as her eyes flashed wild with fear. Her reaction surprised me, and I tilted my head to the side, curious as to how to interpret it. While I hadn't expected Bella to react favorably to the mention of James' name, I hadn't anticipated her appearing so unnerved by it either. I studied her carefully, trying to discern between the astonishing array of panic-stricken emotions that were flitting across her face when suddenly it dawned on me…

She knew. Bella knew about James. And from the way that she was pinning me with her worrisome gaze, she knew that I'd figured her out.

_How long have you known? _I demanded to know, my entire body tensing with stunned disbelief as I struggled to process this new information. I couldn't believe Bella knew. I couldn't believe she knew that James was the one that had taken her and she had _never_ told me. I was left to wonder exactly how long she had known and why the fuck she'd decided to keep me in the dark.

_*Not for long,* _she finally answered me. _*Ten days, maybe.*_

_Ten days? _Since before she had told me she needed space…_ Why didn't you tell me!? _

I tried to remain calm as I sat and waited for her to answer, I really did, but anger and betrayal were sparking inside of me, causing me to rise from the couch and pace the floor. I couldn't believe that Bella would keep something so important from me. I felt hurt and confused, but most of all betrayed by her silence.

_*I didn't tell you because I wasn't certain,* _she finally replied, her expression hardening for a moment as she watched me pace. It softened some as she tried to explain._ *It was just a feeling I had, based in part off of dreams I was having, and there was no way to be certain. I was scared, Edward…* _

She trailed off, momentarily closing her eyes. When she opened them again, she appeared distraught._ *I was scared of how you would react. God, you've been out of your mind with worry this past month, and I was afraid that if I gave a face to the person who assaulted me, you might do something we would all regret!*_

I stood there, quietly shaking my head. _You don't give me enough credit_. I looked Bella dead in the eyes, holding them firm with my own. _I walked away from James tonight, despite knowing what he'd done to you, because of you. You should have told me. At least then, I would have known what we were dealing with._

_*But would you have acted any differently?* _she challenged.

_What do you mean? _

_*Would you have stopped trying to control my every move?*_

_Would do you stop saying that!? _I signed sharply in response, my face tightening in anger as an unexpected burst of indignation flashed through me. _I really hate the way you keep throwing that word around. Is that really what you think? That I want to control you? Because nothing could be further from the truth. Jesus, Bella… I love you. I just want for you to be safe…_

Bella's face cracked at my words, a long, frustrated sigh escaping her lips before her eyes slowly fell closed. This conversation was obviously not turning out as either one of us had intended, and I worried that if we didn't get back on track, I might be spending another night without her. Bella stood there quietly for a moment, breathing deeply in and out before finally opening her eyes. When she did, she pinned me with a remorseful gaze.

_*I'm sorry,*_ she signed, shaking her head slowly back and forth. _*I don't want to fight with you, Edward. I really don't,*_ she continued as her tired, pleading eyes met mine.

_*I know you love me, and I know you want me to be safe, but I can't pretend that this past month hasn't been extremely hard on me, because it has. I have never felt so out of control of my life before, and it isn't just a function of what happened. It's how everybody, myself included, reacted to it. In the beginning it comforted me to have you around all the time. It made me feel safe and secure. But somewhere along the line our paths diverged, and we started coping differently. While I was trying my hardest to regain some semblance of control over my life, you dealt with what happened by undermining that control. I understand why you did it, Edward, I really do, but when you started scheduling nearly every waking hour of my day, it just got to be too much. I started feeling like I was trapped. Worse yet, I felt like you viewed me as your responsibility… something you felt obligated to take care of. I had always thought of us as equals before. You had always treated me like one. But now I'm not so sure…*_

Bella bowed her head, and guilt swept through me as the realization of how my reaction to what had happened to her had affected her hit me head on. I hated that she thought I no longer viewed us as equals because it just wasn't true. I _had_ taken on an increasingly protective role after James had taken her, but it had nothing to do with any sense of obligation I did or didn't feel. Still, regardless of my intentions, I couldn't discount the way I had made Bella feel. Taking a small step in her direction, I reached out and took her hands in mine, rubbing the pads of my thumbs over the soft ridges of her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, my forehead falling against hers. "I never meant to make you feel that way."

I reluctantly moved apart from her so that I could sign.

_I know things have been difficult these last few weeks, and I'm sorry if the way I dealt with it made you feel anything less than my equal partner, but I love you, Bella, and for me, part of being in a loving relationship is taking responsibility for each other's well-being. _

Bella was quiet for a moment, her face contemplative, and then her hands rose tentatively to fill the space between us.

_*Do you really feel that way?*_

_That we're equals?_

Bella nodded her head.

_I just said that I did... _I signed, a little confused.

Again, Bella stood quiet, and after a moment's time, it started to unnerve me.

_Bella? _

I questioned her with my gaze, pressing her to say something, and she took a deep breath, sighing heavily before finally signing, _*I saw the book, Edward.* _

Her statement threw me completely for a loop.

_The book?_ I repeated, thoroughly confused.

_*The book on cochlear implants. It was sitting on your desk,* _Bella clarified.

I blinked as I tried to determine what the book that I had checked out from the library on implants weeks before had anything to do with our current conversation, and for a moment I came up short, but as my wheels continued to turn, suddenly, everything started to fall into place, and my eyes opened wide as I scrambled to explain what that was about.

_You've misunderstood,_ I signed, my heart breaking as I watched Bella reach up to wipe away an errant tear sliding down her cheek.

_*Have I?*_ she wondered. _*Because it seems to me you've been researching implants, and the only reason I can fathom you would want to know anything about them is because your girlfriend is deaf and you'd like for her to hear. We'd be true equals then, wouldn't we?* _she questioned, looking at me out of eyes so broken and so sad, I knew those caustic thoughts had been festering inside of her for weeks. How had I not noticed before? More importantly, how could she ever think that she was anything less than perfect in my eyes?

Standing there, I was left wondering what the issues between us really were. Up until now, I'd thought our problems were isolated to differing reactions to a traumatic event, but I was beginning to realize they might run much deeper than that.

_It's not like that, Bella_, I signed with a shake of my head, hoping that in my eyes she could see that I was being entirely honest. _ I checked that book out from the library after the meet-up. Kate and I… we talked a little about implants, and I realized that in all our time together, somehow, we'd never really discussed them. I was curious, Bella. That's all, just curious. I'm not interested in changing you, and I certainly don't view you as less of an equal simply because you're deaf. I love you, just as you are. I should hope that by now you would know that. _

Bella was motionless for a moment before sighing softly. _*I do. I know you do.*_

_Then believe me when I say that there isn't anything that could ever change that. But I won't deny being curious about implants. And I won't deny harboring hope that you might one day be able to hear my voice. I thought… I thought that was something you wanted too._

_*It is,* _Bella agreed, her face marked by a sadness I would never fully understand. _*But it will never happen,*_ she lamented, resignation rimming her tired eyes.

_Why not?_ I gently pressed.

Bella didn't immediately respond, and when she did, it wasn't in answer to my question.

_*Why are you asking me this now?*_ she wondered. *_Why didn't you ask me about implants instead of referencing a book first? Do you have any idea how it made me feel to see that book on your desk?* _

When I didn't say anything in response, Bella continued.

_*It made me feel like I was less than whole to you, Edward,* _she told me, her eyes having a hard time meeting mine.*_And it made me feel…*_ She paused, wiping away several tears that had collected in her eyes before continuing. _*It made me feel like you were making decisions about my life without consulting me. This past month, you've been deciding so many things for me - where I can go, who I can go with… and when I saw the book, it felt like you thought I wasn't capable of making decisions for myself.* _

Bella finished speaking, and silence hung heavy between us. Her hands fell slowly to her side, but her eyes never left mine as we stood together, mere inches apart. I wondered if she knew how much her words cut through me, how much it hurt that she seemed to have so little understanding of how I truly saw her. She was taking everything out of context, and it frustrated the hell out of me, but then again, I couldn't say that I didn't understand where she was coming from. All of Bella's insecurities and emotions were wrapped up in the events of the last month. Her entire frame of reference for my actions revolved around what had happened and how I'd reacted to it. And now, she saw this book as a sign of me trying to exert additional influence over her life when nothing could have been further from the truth. I hated that she felt that way, and I hung my head sadly, not even knowing where to begin.

_I wish you wouldn't assume the worst of me, _I signed when I'd had time to gather my thoughts. _You assume that I think you're incapable of caring for yourself when nothing could be further from the truth. You are the strongest, most amazing woman I know, Bella, and that has nothing to do with the fact that I love you and everything to do with the person that you are. But I do love you, and sometimes I feel like you discount that. You've spent your entire life trying to prove how independent you are, but now that the time has come for you to depend on someone else, I'm not sure you know how. At least for me, relationships aren't about establishing independence from each other. They're not about making decisions on our own. They're about working together and sharing lives, and learning to trust that we have each other's best interest at heart. Sometimes, I think you don't want that. If I'm being entirely honest, sometimes I think it's you that's so desperate to keep control, not me._

A small gasp filled the space between Bella and me, and it seemed, in that moment, like we were both holding our own breaths. Bella's slight form trembled with the effort it took to control her emotions, but I could see that she was fighting a losing battle. I'd struck a chord, and though I took no satisfaction in the emotional toll my words might have taken, I hoped she was finally able to understand where I was coming from – why I looked out for her and why I was so concerned with every part of her life. I was hopelessly in love with her – that was why. No other explanation was really needed.

Hating that Bella looked so lost, I reached out and tentatively brushed my fingers down her arm, hoping to God she wasn't so upset with me that she would pull away. She didn't, and when my fingers reached her hand, she threaded hers together with mine, swallowing hard as her liquid brown eyes met mine.

_*You're right,*_ she signed with her trembling right hand, her left still holding firmly to mine. She squeezed my fingers gently before letting go. _*I've spent so long struggling to assert my independence and to prove to everyone that despite my disability, I can take care of myself.* _Bella's eyes spilled over with more tears as she signed, and when I reached out to wipe them away, she smiled softly at me, turning her head to lean into my touch.

_*But then you came along, and turned my world on end.*_

Bella laughed a little as she signed, the bright sound cutting through the room and ringing in my ears like a choir of angels from on high. It had been too fucking long since I'd heard her laugh and I couldn't help but laugh, too.

_*I just need us to be true equals, Edward. Partners,*_ she continued. _*Like we were before all this craziness happened. I don't mind you looking out for me - in fact, I love that you do. But I need to take back some control over my life. I think we both do, and we've been trying, but in ways that haven't been helpful. We've been fighting against each other, instead of for one another.*_

_We've both been stubborn, _I agreed. _But_ d_o you think we could try and meet in the middle? _I asked hopefully, my strong desire for Bella and me to reconcile written clearly on my face. _Because I can't be without you. You're everything to me, Bella, everything. I realized that tonight when I was facing down James. I swear to God, I wanted to kill him for what he did to you. But I knew… I knew that if I went after him, I might lose you for good, and that thought terrified me. It terrified the fuck out of me._

Bella's face fell at the mention of James' name, reminding me that despite everything we had worked through tonight, we still had to deal with the fact that he had given a face to Bella's attacker. I wasn't sure what we were going to do about that, but it didn't really seem to matter as Bella looked me straight in the eye and signed, _*You'll never lose me, Green Eyes. You're everything to me, too.*_

In that moment, any argument between us ceased to exist. We both stopped fighting whatever it was we had been fighting against, and we surrendered ourselves to each other once and for all, because really, we both knew there was no other choice. Bella and I were in love with each other. We needed each other, and if one thing was certain, we were stronger together than we were apart. We could work through this… we _would_ work this – together. It would require accommodation on both our parts, but I felt certain we were both capable of doing whatever it took to make things right between us. We _had_ to – that was all there was to it.

"Come here," I murmured, unwilling to be separated from the woman I so desperately loved any longer. "I need to feel you. It's been too long."

Bella didn't hesitate to bring her body flush against mine, and when she molded herself against me, her mouth meeting mine in a deeply passionate kiss, I knew that despite the fact we still had so much to work through, we wouldn't be working through anything else tonight. Now, in that moment, we needed to be with each other, to make love to each other and affirm with our bodies what our hearts already knew - that our struggles might be many, but we would work them through. Because I loved Bella, and she loved me, and it would be enough. It would be enough to help each of us let go and give in. And when the breaking dawn shone through Bella's bedroom window the following morning, I knew that it would bring with it greater clarity, and that the warm body pressed against mine would be there to stay.

Everything else would be dealt with in time.

**Endnotes:**

**So, long delay in posting. The following chapter (chapter 28) has eluded me for nearly a year, so I didn't want to post 27 until 28 was further along. It's nearly complete now, so with any luck, I'll post again next week. Thanks for sticking with me. **

**Oh, and things should start looking up from here. ;)**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back.


	28. Acceptance

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 28 - Acceptance**

Five days and countless hours of studying later, I was on the brink of exhaustion. It was Friday afternoon, and I was sitting on the bench outside the College of Behavioral Sciences reviewing notes for my Intro. to Sign Language final. It was the same bench Bella and I had occupied in the past when we were taking our first, tentative steps towards getting to know one another. Now, nearly six months later, this amazing woman was mine. She was everything to me - the center of my universe, the force that grounded me, the only thing that truly mattered in my life. I would never lose sight of that again.

Bella and I had spent the last few days continuing to talk our issues out, with most of our conversations taking place late at night when we lay facing each other in bed. It wasn't nearly as difficult for me to communicate with her this way anymore, and I was grateful for that. I welcomed the intimacy it brought, the security I felt when she was snuggled close to me. Lying beside her, our legs tangled together beneath the sheets, I could reach out and caress her cheek, brush her hair from her face, or steal a tender kiss. We needed that, the immediate ability to remind each other what was most important, because some of our conversations were difficult.

Bella and I still had a lot to work through. She was convinced that a great deal of my over-protectiveness stemmed from the idea that she was somehow less capable of looking out for herself because she was deaf. This forced me to take a long, hard look at how I truly felt, and I begrudgingly admitted she was partially correct. There _was_ a part of me that felt like she was fragile, and whether that was right or wrong, I couldn't say. However, I mostly worried about her because I loved her, and that was something that would never change. Hearing or deaf, I would always worry about the ones I loved.

For her part, Bella admitted she had a tendency to be sensitive where this subject was concerned. She had fought so long and so hard to establish her independence that it caused her to panic slightly when someone wanted to take care of her. She saw it as a sign of weakness on her part. She was also well aware of the fact that many deaf/hearing relationships didn't survive because the hearing individual often assumed the role of a caretaker versus that of an equal partner. She didn't want that as our fate, but I assured her that could never happen; she was much too willful and stubborn. That particular comment had earned me a slap on the chest, but she made up for it by kissing me senseless moments later.

These were the types of discussions we'd had over the course of the last week. We had also discussed how to handle James. After consulting with Officer Thompson, we learned our options were limited. Without any hard evidence, the police had little reason to bring James in for questioning. This really angered me, and on more than one occasion I considered going after him myself, but Bella reminded me that vigilantism wouldn't do anything to solve the problem. At best, James and I would fight it out and the both of us would end up hurt. Worst case scenario, I could end up in prison, and while I would gladly do whatever was necessary in order to protect Bella, James no longer appeared to present a threat. It seemed he had accomplished his objective by making Bella the victim of a vicious hate crime. This didn't mean that we let our guard down, but at least we knew what we were dealing with now. We knew whose face to look out for, and that helped both Bella and me to feel somewhat more at ease.

We took additional steps aimed at increasing our sense of security. To begin with, we enrolled in a series of personal safety classes run by the local sheriff's office that would start in several weeks. We also registered for a personal defense class being offered by the university over the summer. As a final measure, Bella relented and agreed to let me install a security system in her apartment. I had offered to pay for the monthly cost, something she could not easily afford; it was well worth the peace of mind it would bring the both of us on the nights we spent apart. While none of these things guaranteed that Bella would never be victimized again, they did allow us both to feel like we were finally taking back some control over our lives.

"Edward?"

I jumped at the sound of Jessica's voice, so far lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed her approaching my bench. She came to a stop a few feet in front of me, and I scowled up at her, displeased with the interruption.

"What do you want?" I asked through tightly drawn lips.

I was barely able to contain the anger that was currently gripping my gut. Deep down, I didn't believe that Jessica had played a role in Bella's abduction, but the fact that she was dating James made my stomach curl tight in disgust.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. She was noticeably nervous, the slight tremor in her voice giving her anxiety away. I wanted to tell her to "fuck off", but I took a deep breath, doing my best to remain calm.

"I don't really think we have anything to discuss."

"I understand. I just…" She fidgeted nervously, seeming to have a hard time finding the right words to say.

"Just spit it out," I snapped, and she jumped. She bowed her head, and even though I shouldn't have, I felt a little guilty.

"I wanted to let you know that I didn't know about Bella…" she finally whispered.

I sighed.

"Jessica, this really isn't necessary…"

"No, please," she quietly interrupted. "Please just let me finish."

When I didn't object, she continued.

"James and I haven't been seeing each other for very long. We don't know each other very well. I had no idea he even knew who you and Bella were. When I defended him at the party… I did so without understanding the circumstances, and I just… I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened to her. I didn't know. I really didn't know." Jessica's voice cracked at the end, and there was a hint of desperation there, as if she was determined to make sure I didn't unfairly judge her, blaming her for another's actions through guilt by association.

"He took her, you know. Even if there's no way of proving it, he took her as some sort of sick way of getting back at me," I ground out, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

This happened a lot. One moment I would be calmly discussing what happened that night, and the very next, I would be taken back in time to when I saw Bella sitting on the curb, broken and crying. I had been so fucking scared that night, more scared than I'd ever been, and even though we were no longer living in that moment, the feelings associated with it were not quick to fade.

"I believe you," Jessica whispered, eyeing me cautiously as I took a deep breath. I was doing my best to hold myself together. "I didn't before, but I do now."

"Why?" I pressed, wondering if perhaps James had said something to her or she had remembered something helpful about that night. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to ask. "Did he say something to you? Do you know something that might help us?" I asked, but Jessica shook her head.

"No, he didn't. It's just a feeling I have."

"So there's nothing out of the ordinary you remember about that night?"

Again, Jessica shook her head. "I'm sorry, Edward, but it was like any other night we spent out. Yes, there's periods of time where I can't account for his presence, but that's not unusual. He isn't exactly the most attentive of boyfriends."

While I didn't expect to hear any different, I was still disappointed that she didn't have anything of greater significance to share with me.

"He's not a good person, Jessica," I finally said. "Bella and I might not be able to prove anything, but there isn't a doubt in either one of our minds that he's the one that took her."

"I said I believe you," she reiterated with more force before quietly adding, "I'm going to break up with him. I'm going to tell him I'm not interested in seeing him anymore."

This actually came as a surprise to me. I didn't consider Jessica to be all that smart, but I was glad to hear she'd made the decision to leave James, because as much as I disliked her, she didn't deserve to be caught up with the likes of him. I only hoped she followed through with what she was saying.

"That's a smart decision," I said, and she acknowledged my reply by quietly nodding her head.

Glancing down at my watch, I saw that it was after three. Our sign language final would begin in twenty minutes, and I wanted to finish going over some notes beforehand. I suggested that we start heading for class, but Jessica stopped me before I could leave.

"Just one more thing," she said, pausing as I looked on at her expectantly.

"How come you never told me?" she finally asked.

I pursed my brows in confusion.

"About what?"

"About Bella," she clarified. "It's just… I never would have made the comments I did if I had known you were dating her…"

Jessica's voice trailed off, leaving me standing there dumbfounded by her words. Moments before, there had actually been a small part of me that was softening towards her. As much as I disliked her type, I gave Jessica credit for recognizing James for what he was and for making the decision to remove herself from a potentially dangerous situation. But now, what little respect I had for her was gone.

"Are you serious?" I half-laughed even though her comment was anything but humorous.

Jessica looked up at me, bewildered by my response. "I don't understand…"

Of course she didn't.

"Don't you see?" I pressed. "You never should have made those comments to being with," I pointed out in exasperation. "God, Jessica. Whether or not I'm dating Bella is completely irrelevant. The comments you made, they were totally out of line, no matter what the circumstances."

When Jessica didn't respond, I shook my head in frustration.

"You do understand what I'm saying, don't you?" I pushed, but if Jessica was repentant before, she wasn't any longer. Her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together as she surveyed me with contempt.

"I understand exactly what you're saying, but I don't see where you get off passing judgment on me," she hissed in defense. "They were just comments, Edward, harmless comments."

"But they're not!" I all but cried, incensed by her blind ignorance. "They're not just harmless comments! They're hurtful, Jessica. Hurtful to Bella and to those that care about her. For God's sake, she has feelings! How do you think it makes her feel when people make flippant remarks about her disability? I can tell you now, even though she tries her best to remain stoic and to rise above them, there are times when they steal away her self-confidence and degrade her self-esteem, and that really pisses me off. So no, Jessica, they are not just comments. Words cut deep. You'd be wise not to forget that."

With that I brushed passed her, refusing her the opportunity to respond. I was through with giving Jessica chances. I had already given her more leeway than she deserved, including biting my tongue in reaction to her stinging comments early on when I should have more vehemently jumped to Bella's defense, but I vowed never to ignore derogatory comments like hers again, no matter what my relationship to the person involved. Wrong was wrong, and if more people stood up and spoke out against those who took satisfaction in ridiculing others, perhaps Bella, and any others who had ever known any form of persecution, wouldn't have to contend with it as frequently. That was my wish, anyway. It might have been overly idealistic, but if one person took a stand, it could also inspire others to do the same.

Despite the fact my thoughts were understandably focused elsewhere, as I settled into my seat in what would be my last Intro. to Sign Language class, I was able to get my head back in the game, and it didn't take me long to complete my exam. I was actually the first to finish, but the last to leave the room, waiting until all the students had handed in their papers before approaching Bella at her desk. She quirked a brow at me, smiling as she handed me back my exam.

_*I suppose since you're already here, it wouldn't hurt to show you your grade,*_ she smiled.

I had received an A. 100%. Of course, I hadn't expected anything less.

_Well, would you look at that? And to think I didn't even have to sleep with the teacher, _I replied with a satisfied grin, tucking the paper into the side pocket of my bag.

_*Edward!*_ Bella quickly admonished, her eyes flashing towards the wide open door before finding their way back to mine.

_What? Oh… that's right! I DID sleep with the teacher, _I continued to tease. I couldn't help it. She was just so adorable when she was riled up.

Bella's eyes grew wide, and she reached across the table to playfully slap me, but I was quicker than her and jumped lithely out of the way.

_*Someone could have seen you!*_ she pointed out, struggling to appear stern, though it was hardly believable given the smile that tugged at her lips.

_So what if they do?_ I challenged, no longer teasing. _I dare anyone to accuse me of earning my grade through anything less than honorable means. Besides, as far as I'm concerned, the semester is officially over. That means I'm free to tell the entire fucking world that we're together, and I intend to do just that._

With that, I walked purposefully around the table, taking Bella by surprise when I took her beautiful face between my two hands and kissed her thoroughly in the middle of the classroom. My heart filled to capacity when she kissed me soundly right back.

The following day, Bella was cleaning her apartment in preparation for my family's arrival.

For the fourth time.

There were only so many pillows she could rearrange on her couch, only so many times she could wipe down her kitchen counters and only so many times she could straighten the spread on her bed before I feared I might slip into the realm of the certifiably insane.

I wrapped my arms around Bella from behind, kissing her shoulder softly.

_Leave the bed alone,_ I gently commanded, my arms moving in front of her. I continued to kiss her silken skin, my lips lazily making their way along the thin line of her clavicle, ending at the base of her throat. I tightened my grip around her, smiling softly against her skin at her involuntary sigh.

_Relax,_ I signed.

She turned in my arms.

_*This is a big deal to me, Edward,*_ she admitted with a nervous smile. *_This is your entire family.*_

_One of which you've already met,_ I reminded her as I bent to capture her lips in a kiss. She allowed me to deepen the kiss, but then the doorbell rang and her entire body stiffened in my arms. I looked down into her wide, brown eyes, teeming with uncertainty and fear, kissing each one of them before holding her gaze steady with my own.

"It will be just fine," I murmured, taking her face between both of my hands.

_*Okay,*_ she nodded, taking a deep breath. The doorbell rang again and I grabbed her hand.

"Come on," I grinned.

No sooner had I opened the door than Alice was hugging me tightly, placing a kiss on my left cheek before pushing past me to where Bella stood. The two girls were smiling brightly at each other, laughing as they embraced, and I was so warmed by the sight that I startled when my mother pulled me into a hug.

"Hi, honey," she cooed in my ear. "It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Mom," I said before finding myself wrapped up in my father's arms. His embrace was brief but firm, and soon all eyes fell on Bella. My mother looked nervous, as did my father I would have to admit, and I wondered what was going on.

_Mom, Dad, this is Bella, _I signed, speaking at the same time for my parents' benefit before turning in Bella's direction and repeating the introduction. _Bella, these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle._

My mother took a tentative step forward, and I noticed a glint in Alice's eyes just as I watched my mother introduce herself to Bella in sign.

I was stunned, although maybe I shouldn't have been; Alice had made the effort to learn, so why should it be so surprising that my parents had too? Whether or not Bella had allowed herself to hope they might learn I didn't know, but from the look on her face, she was entirely lost for words, as awed by the gesture as I was.

_{Carlisle and I have been looking forward to meeting you,}_ my mother slowly signed, and even though she struggled with it, all of us stood patiently by as she shared her first words with Bella.

_*Thank you. I'm... overwhelmed by the effort you've made to learn sign,*_ Bella replied, with Alice jumping right in to translate for her before I even had the chance.

My father walked to my mother's side.

_{We want to learn,}_ my father stressed to her. "It's the least we can do. Esme and I don't have as much time to commit to it, but Alice puts us through boot camp each night at dinner. We haven't spoken a word over dinner in several months," my father stated, allowing Alice to translate for him, and I wasn't sure what impressed me more - the fact that my parents were actually learning sign or that Alice's skills had progressed to the point that she was actually translating conversations. She was really throwing herself into this, which made me simultaneously proud and grateful to call her my sister.

_*Just the fact that you're learning at all is more than I could ever hope to expect. Thank you. Thank you…*_

Bella tried to remain composed, but I could see that her emotions were getting the best of her. My mother noticed too and pulled her into a hug, holding her close. It was hard for me to believe this was the same woman who had initially expressed such concern over my relationship with a deaf woman, and I was relieved to see that despite the difficulties Bella and I had encountered over the last month, everyone still appeared to be entirely supportive of our relationship. This was meaningful to me, and I was certain to Bella as well. She hugged my mother back, beaming at me from over her shoulder.

The five of us went out to dinner, afterwards driving back to the hotel where my parents would be staying for the duration of their visit. Alice had decided to stay with Bella this trip, but my parents preferred the sanctuary of a hotel to the sparse accommodations either Bella or I could provide. I sat with my father in the sitting room adjacent to his and my mother's bedroom, drinking a beer while Alice and Bella wandered downstairs to check out the amenities. It was a classy hotel, and Alice had plans to set up a spa day with Bella on Saturday before I graduated later that night.

"Bella's truly lovely," my mother commented as she passed into the sitting room from the bedroom. "I know this past month's been extremely difficult for the both of you, but your father and I are happy you were able to work things through. I'm sorry we weren't able to be here to support you."

"It's okay," I replied. "It's definitely been a rough couple of weeks, but I think we're through the worst of it."

My mother's face grew serious.

"So you're okay," she stated, looking pointedly in my eyes, "because your father and I have been really worried."

"Yes, Mom, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Esme," my father gently chided.

"It's our responsibility to make certain, Carlisle," my mother answered back softly.

"It's all right. I understand," I reassured the both of them. "I know you've been worried, but I promise you, both Bella and I are fine."

"I'm glad you decided not to go after that… that monster," my mother whispered, and I could see the heartache on her face as she considered what could have been, not only with me but with Bella too. I knew exactly how she felt. I considered what could have happened that night every morning when I woke. Thankfully, it was getting easier. With each passing day, I was learning to let go a little more.

"Believe me, it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make," I told her in all honesty. "Everything in me wants to make him pay for what he's done. But we can't prove anything, and I won't risk my future with Bella in a quest for vigilante justice."

Both my father and mother nodded in agreement.

"You've made the right decision," my father stated with conviction. "I only wish the authorities were able to offer more options."

"You and me both," I muttered. "But it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so Bella and I are doing our best to move on with our lives."

"How is she?" my mother pressed. "She seems so… pulled together. I don't know what I was expecting, but given all that's happened, she seems so composed. I'm actually surprised by how well the _both_ of you look," she admitted.

"Believe me, it hasn't been easy, but we're both in a better place now. In fact, if one good thing has come out of this, it's that our relationship is stronger now than ever before. When James took Bella…" I swallowed hard, his name still cutting me hard every time I had cause to utter it. "When he took her, it forced us to take a long hard look at our relationship, but we're in a better place now because of it. We're not taking things for granted like we did before, and we're working harder to communicate our feelings."

"That's one of the greatest challenges in a relationship, isn't it?" my mother commented, casting my father a knowing glance before focusing her attention back on me.

"It is," I agreed. "Particularly in our circumstance. Bella and I come from such radically different backgrounds. Our life experiences are so dissimilar that I sometimes forget how different we really are. But we love each other, so we're learning to understand each other and work through those differences."

"You've grown so much this past year," my mother noted with a wistful sigh.

"I met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with," I commented quietly. "I finally understand what it feels like to have everything to lose. When that happens, your priorities shift, and you begin to realize relationships take work… they take a hell of a lot of work. But if you're willing to put in the effort…"

I trailed off, leveling my eyes at both my parents.

"I love her," I stated simply. "I love Bella, and one day I want to make her my wife."

All the blessings I would ever need from them were given in their answering smiles.

The next several days were a whirlwind of activity. Between trying to spend as much time with my family and Bella as possible and simultaneously prepping for graduation, I fell into bed with Bella at night, exhausted. Alice was staying with Bella, sleeping on the couch, but she was good about giving us our privacy once we sequestered ourselves behind closed doors. Not that we were doing anything sexual. We were actually engaging in a far more intimate activity... continuing our heart to hearts. I never thought I'd be the type for pillow talk, but I found that our late night conversations, cocooned safely under cool, cotton sheets, were conducive to a certain level of open communication not always favored by less intimate environments. Apparently Bella felt the same, because we talked well into the night Friday night before sleep finally claimed us.

Saturday afternoon I was getting dressed in slacks and a button down shirt, readying myself for graduation when I heard my phone ring from the kitchen. I asked Alice to answer it for me, assuming it was my parents calling, but a few minutes later, she knocked lightly on the bedroom door before pushing it open, her face alight with excitement.

"That was Kate," she said, which was entirely unexpected. "She was calling to see if you and Bella would be attending the monthly deaf meet-up tomorrow night. I told her I'd talk to you about it and you would call her back."

From the look on Alice's face, I could see this was something she wanted to do, but I wasn't so sure about it.

"Alice," I sighed, right as Bella walked through the door. She had just finished showering, her body wrapped up snug in a bath robe. The knowledge that she was naked underneath caused me to stir in my pants, but I knew we didn't have time for that right now.

_*Everything okay?*_ she asked, noting the expression on my face.

_Everything's fine. Kate called, inviting us to the meet-up tomorrow night. Alice and I were..._

_{Just about to discuss the possibility of going},_ she chimed in, a determined smile on her face.

_*She actually texted me earlier, but I figured with everything going on this weekend, it wouldn't work out,* _Bella replied.

_{We don't have any plans for tomorrow night,}_ Alice reminded us both.

Bella smiled widely at Alice's enthusiasm.

_*You really want to go?*_

I was surprised that Bella seemed to be considering the idea. We'd attended several more deaf events since the first meet-up, but it still wasn't her favorite way for us to spend time together. She preferred a drive into Clearwater, sharing dinner for two followed by a long walk on the beach.

_{Of course!}_ Alice responded without hesitation. _{I'd love to meet your friends.}_

_You think Mom and Dad would be up for it? _I wondered,considering whether this was a good idea or not.

_{It would certainly give them a chance to practice,} _Alice offered in reply.

I turned to Bella.

_What do you think? _

She shrugged.

_*I say ask your parents. If they're game and you are too, I'll let Kate know we'll be there.*_

And so it was that less than twenty-four hours later, I found myself driving to a deaf meet-up with my entire family in tow. Graduation had gone well the night before. It was a proud moment for me, and for Bella and my family as well. When I strolled across the stage with my diploma in hand, shaking the President of the university's hand, I couldn't remember many other moments in my life when I felt as hopeful as I did then. I literally felt like I had the entire world at my fingertips, and the most amazing woman to share it with by my side. Bella cried when she held me tight afterwards, tears of joy to be sure. I vowed to turn all of her tears to ones of joy as we embarked on a future together. We dined out at a ritzy restaurant in Ybor City, with Rosalie and Emmett joining us. It was a joyous affair, and everyone did their best to communicate with each other in sign. Many laughs were had, and when I caught a glimpse of Bella out of the corner of my eye late that night as we all sat gathered around the table, I couldn't remember her ever looking happier.

That was last night. Now, I was slightly nervous as we walked through the door of Starbucks. Although I was getting to the point where I felt somewhat comfortable with a handful of the regular attendees to these events, tonight I would have to juggle the added responsibility of playing host to my family. Some of my worries were put to rest when several minutes after brief introductions were made, Alice and my father immediately fell into conversation with a deaf doctor and his wife. I could have guessed that Alice would effortlessly fit in with the deaf crowd - she was never one to let another's reticence dampen her genuinely friendly and outgoing nature, but I was pleasantly surprised, if not moved, by my father's identical enthusiasm. Neither one of them seemed nervous at all, which helped me to feel more relaxed. Scanning the room, I saw that Bella had taken my mother under her wing, and the two of them were currently chatting up Kate and Garrett. I imagined Kate would keep an eye on my mother tonight too, just as she had with me not so long ago.

With the entirety of my family occupied, I found myself standing alone. There were several of Bella's deaf friends that I now felt comfortable enough with to engage in conversation, but the face of the man that approached me as I stood by an empty table was not one of them. In fact, I didn't recognize him at all. He stopped in front of me, introducing himself by the name of Peter before extending his right hand.

_{I've heard a lot about you,}_ he signed with a smile, and I couldn't help the look of surprise that crept across my face. _{My wife Charlotte and I haven't been able to make the last few meet-ups, so we haven't had a chance to meet, but you've been a hot topic of conversation amongst all our deaf friends.}_

I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused by this bit of information.

_Is that so?_

Peter grinned.

_{Indeed it is. You've made quite an impression, and when I saw that you brought your family with you tonight, and that they're actually making an effort to learn sign, I knew I had to introduce myself.}_

Peter paused for a moment.

_{You know that's highly unusual,}_ he stated, his face growing momentarily solemn upon reflecting on something unknown to me. _{Very few people go out of their way to learn another language just to suit another.}_

_To be honest, it was kind of a surprise,_ I admitted. _I knew my sister was learning, but I had no idea my parents were learning too. _

_{That must be very meaningful to you,}_ Peter replied with a warm grin.

_Yes, it is,_ I agreed. _They know how important Bella is to me, and I suppose they felt it would be the best way of demonstrating their support of me… of us,_ I added, my face growing more serious.

_{Has it been very difficult for the two of you?}_ Peter inquired, and for a moment, I hesitated to answer. This was a personal question, and I didn't know this man. I certainly didn't want to say anything he might deem offensive, but at the same time, there was something about him that made me feel like I could trust him. He appeared nothing less than genuinely interested in me, and I didn't for one moment sense any amount of hostility or distrust.

_It hasn't necessarily been easy,_ I slowly replied, looking Peter in the eye. _Not everybody is as accepting of our relationship as you seem to be. _

A curt nod of Peter's head told me he understood exactly what I was saying. There was no need for me to go into detail.

_{Do you mind if I share a personal story with you?}_

_Of course, go right ahead._

Peter smiled at me, and again, I noted how warm it was. It touched the corners of his eyes, where fine wrinkles hinted at his age but otherwise youthful features did not. I couldn't help but smile at him in return. I was already making a mental note to get his contact information before we left tonight. If his wife was as open and friendly as Peter was, it might be nice for the four of us to get together some time for dinner. Better yet, we could invite Kate and Garrett. Maybe even host a group BBQ with Emmett and Rose and a few others. But I was getting ahead of myself.

I watched as Peter proceeded to tell me a story.

_{I wasn't born deaf,}_ he began, a statement which definitely caught my attention. _{I actually lost my hearing when I was a young child. 6 years old to be exact. I contracted meningitis and nearly died. I ended up surviving, but a high fever caused me to lose hearing in both ears.}_

_I'm… I'm so sorry,_ I signed, saddened by Peter's words. He offered me a wistful smile, as if there was a part of him that still held the memory of a time long ago when he could hear.

_{As you can imagine, it was very difficult for me, and unfortunately, my parents didn't handle the situation very well. They were in denial for a long time.}_ Peter paused and sighed. _ {To be honest, they're still in denial today,} _he signed sadly. _{Because I was considered a 'normal' child for the first six years of my life, already knowing how to talk, and to read and write on an elementary level, everybody just assumed that I would adapt - that I would somehow find a way to read lips and keep up with my peers, despite the fact I could no longer hear. They refused to let me learn sign at first, forcing me to communicate through hand written notes.}_

I gaped at Peter's words, unable to understand why his family would have made such decisions, preventing their son from learning sign when it would have allowed him to more effectively communicate with everyone. My face must have communicated my unspoken questions, because Peter went on to explain that his parents were worried that if they allowed their son to learn sign, it would be the same as admitting to themselves and to everybody else that he was no longer 'normal'. They claimed to be afraid that he would be stigmatized, yet in truth, Peter always knew their fear wasn't for him but for themselves. They didn't want to be known as the parents of a deaf child. It didn't fit into their otherwise prototypical family. So they attempted to strong-arm him into adapting to the hearing world. They refused to learn sign – refused to let his siblings learn sign, though his sister had learned in secret. Peter was understandably distraught by this, and as time wore on, he acted out. Finally, when his behavior deteriorated to the point that his parents could no longer control him, they sent him to FSDB. He'd remained there for the duration of his school years and had had limited contact with his parents ever since. That was over 20 years ago.

_God, Peter…_ I shook my head. What did one even say to something like that? He immediately dismissed my sympathy, his kind eyes telling me it wasn't necessary for me to try and find words.

_{It's okay, Edward. You needn't say anything. I only told you because…}_ He paused, looking out at the crowd to where his eyes fell upon Bella and my mother, standing in a corner with several other deaf women who were, to my surprise, taking the time to sign slowly… _very slowly_… for my mother. A satisfied smile settled on Peter's face.

_{I wanted to share my story with you because your family is doing more for Bella… the girlfriend of their son, than my own parents ever did for me. It's bittersweet for me, but it also gives me hope that there are people out there who understand that deaf people are no different from everyone else. It also tells me just how much Bella and the deaf culture mean to you. And I'm not the only one that feels that way. That's what I wanted you to know.}_

There was a note of finality to Peter's words, and it was clear that he had shared with me what he wanted to. To be honest, I was somewhat speechless. Somehow, his story was so much more than the sad tale of a young boy who had seemingly been forgotten by his parents. In his story was the hope for new relationships forged between the hearing and the deaf… between Bella and myself and my family. I was moved by his tacit approval of my relationship with Bella, and his suggestion that he wasn't the only member of the deaf community that felt that way. Months ago I might have wondered if I ever had a hope of fitting in to Bella's world, but tonight I knew differently.

_Thank you, _I signed, clapping Peter on the shoulder with my hand._ I appreciate you taking the time to share your story with me._

_{It was my pleasure,} _he replied with a genuine smile. _{Would you mind if I offered you a bit of friendly advice?}_ There was a bit of a spark in Peter's eyes, and I chuckled softly, nodding my head.

_{Don't ever let that one go,}_ he said, tilting his head in Bella's direction. _ {She's a keeper,}_ he winked.

_{Who's a keeper?}_ an unassuming women with thick black hair draped loosely over her shoulders asked as she sidled up to Peter's side. She smiled up at him, and I could only assume this was Charlotte, the wife that Peter had spoken of.

_{Edward, this is my lovely wife, Charlotte,}_ he said, confirming my thoughts. Charlotte smiled at me.

_{I met your father and sister tonight. I have to say, I'm quite impressed with Alice's signing skills. She says she's only been learning since January.}_

I chuckled softly.

_Alice has a tendency to embrace her interests with an unusual level of enthusiasm. It's very important to her to be able to communicate with Bella, _I added, knowing this was her primary purpose behind learning sign.

Charlotte's face softened.

_{That's wonderful, Edward. You sister, father and mother…}_ She paused, looking up at Peter's face. _{I assume my husband's spoken with you about his family,}_ she stated, momentarily changing the subject.

_He has,_ I confirmed with a nod.

_{So you see why it's so gratifying for him to see your family making such an effort.}_

_I do. I really do. _

Later that evening, we were all settled together in Bella's living room, the girls drinking glasses of red wine while my father and I opted for beer. Everyone had enjoyed themselves at the deaf gathering, including my mother who admittedly struggled with sign language more than Alice or my father.

"I just don't seem to be able to make my fingers do what I want them to do," my mother sighed in frustration as she ran through the alphabet for the tenth time in the last half hour. Despite her determination to do otherwise, she continued to make mistakes common to beginners. Specifically, she was mixing up several of the letters, 'a' and 's' and 'd' and 'f', and she insisted on turning her wrist to the side while signing 'c' and 'o'. Her frustration was apparent, so I went to sit by her side, gently taking her hand in mine.

"Here, let me help you," I said, and I couldn't help but note the proud smile radiating from Bella's face as she watched me teach my mother sign.

"Instead of signing the entire alphabet all at once, why don't we try breaking it down into smaller pieces? Like when I was little and I used to get frustrated when I couldn't lean my piano assignment for the week. You used to encourage me to break the music down into a smaller number of measures, practicing only a few at a time. Try to think of the alphabet as a sheet of music. By breaking it down into pieces, it'll be easier to learn."

My mother looked on at me, impressed.

"Since when did you get to be so wise?" she teased.

"Turns out you were right about a few things," I winked in reply.

And she was. By practicing the alphabet a little at a time, she was executing it nearly perfectly by the end of the evening, and by the time Bella and I bade farewell to my family several days later, my mother had added several dozen words to her vocabulary. She wasn't catching on as fast as my father or Alice, but she was making the effort, and considering her initial hesitation six months earlier when I first told her I was interested in a deaf woman, I considered that a big success.

So did Bella. My parents visit did something for us and for our relationship. There was a subtle shift, and for the first time, I think we both considered that we really could have an entirely fulfilling future together that included not just the two of us, but our family and friends as well. Although I'd yet to meet her parents - that was in the plans for later in the summer, I was hopeful they would be as accepting of me as my family had been of Bella, and by the end of the year, I would be placing a ring on her finger.

Life was good. Life was indeed, good.

I was now a graduate.

I would be entering med school in the fall.

But most importantly?

I had the love of my life by my side.

**Endnotes:**

**Winding down here, folks. Next chapter the duo heads to Forks. It's written and ready to post, probably by the end of next week.**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back.


	29. Full Circle

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 29 – Full Circle**

_ *You're fidgeting.* _

Bella touched my knee, the same knee that had been vibrating with nerves ever since our plane took off from our layover city of Dallas Fort Worth, en route to Seattle, Washington.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered, gluing my foot to the ground with a huff. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Bella's lips pulling up into an amused grin.

_*I can read lips, you know,*_ she teased. I shook my head, turning and smiling at her despite myself.

_*Why are you so nervous, Green Eyes?* _she wondered._ *My parents are going to love you.* _

I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers, distracting her with a kiss. I didn't have an answer to Bella's question, despite knowing precisely where my anxiety stemmed from. It had nothing to do with meeting her parents for the first time and everything to do with the ring that lay nestled deep inside my pocket, in a tiny black box lined with velvet. I had carried it with me onto the plane, concerned that if I checked it in a piece of baggage, it would mysteriously disappear. Now, my only concern was steering Bella away from my right side. I didn't want her accidentally brushing up against me, wondering about the solid object hidden inside my pocket. It would be just like her to ask.

Bella pulled back, reaching up to push her hand through my hair before signing, _*They're going to love you, just like I do. Quit worrying.* _

"The shoe is on the other foot," I murmured, and she laughed softly.

_*I survived. You will too.*_

My anxiety dissipated a bit on our drive from Seattle to Forks. The new surroundings coupled with fatigue from traveling all day long numbed my frazzled nerves. My hand rested comfortably atop Bella's on the center console of the rental car, and I gave it a small squeeze, capturing her attention. She turned to face me, smiling softly as her right hand hovered by her heart.

_*I love you,*_ she signed with a sigh, resting her head on the headrest and gazing contentedly into my eyes. I smiled back at her, bringing our joined hands to my mouth and kissing the soft skin between her knuckles before turning my attention back to the road.

It seemed hard to believe it had been only a year since I'd met Bella, even more impossible that I was only just now meeting her parents for the first time. We had originally planned on visiting Forks over the summer, but the logistics of graduating, volunteering at the hospital and apartment hunting left little time for a vacation. Bella had flown home for several weeks in July, but I was unable to join her. Now, we would be spending the days leading up to and including New Year's with her parents, after having celebrated a quiet Christmas alone, together at home in our apartment.

I shifted in my seat, all too aware of the ring. In truth, Bella's engagement ring was the entire purpose of this trip - the timing of it, anyway. I had known for a while that I wanted to make her my wife, and after everything we'd been through this past year, I wanted to ring in the New Year with a proposal. I considered there was no better place to do this than in Forks. It would allow Bella's parents, who hardly had the chance to see her living so far away, the opportunity to be a part of a momentous occasion in their daughter's life. It would also allow me the opportunity to personally ask Bella's father for her hand in marriage. If anyone would have told me a year before I would be doing something like this, I would have scoffed at them. But things change… _people_ change. Bella changed me. She made me want to give her everything, because she deserved nothing less than the best. She deserved to have her father asked for her hand in marriage, and I believed her parents deserved the opportunity to celebrate our engagement, providing Bella said yes.

A smile touched my lips. She would say yes. I was certain of it.

Several hours later, when the final wisps of dusk gave way to a blackened sky, we pulled into the driveway of Bella's childhood home. She eagerly unbuckled her seatbelt, opening the door to the car before I had the chance to remove the keys from the ignition.

"Bella!"

I was unprepared for the level of enthusiasm with which Renee greeted her daughter. She flew out the front door, running down the concrete sidewalk towards Bella's open arms, smiling widely as she pulled her into a tight hug.

"Oh, my baby girl, I've missed you so much," Renee exclaimed, holding Bella tight. She didn't care that Bella couldn't hear her. Like many of mine, hers weren't words spoken for Bella's benefit - they were merely an unscripted expression of how Renee felt.

"Come here, come here, Edward," she half laughed, half cried, wiping a tear from her face and gesturing at me to join them as I approached where they were standing. She loosened an arm from around Bella's waist, pushing away another errant tear before laughing and pulling me to her. I was a little shocked by her geniality, given that we had never met, but I didn't protest as Renee included me in their embrace.

"Renee, stop, you're going to scare the poor boy away." I heard a deep voice chuckle from somewhere not too far away. I looked up from the tangle of arms to see the spitting image of Bella standing lazily on the front porch, propped up by a weather-beaten beam.

I cleared my throat.

"Hello, Sir," I waved. At that moment, Bella became aware of her father's presence, and no sooner had she wiggled free from her mother's embrace than she was running towards her father. He caught her mid-stride, beaming down at his lookalike daughter with such fondness and affection it caused a small lump to form in the back of my throat. Bella was treasured. Not only by me, but by two parents who very clearly loved her beyond compare. I knew just how they felt.

_*Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Edward,* _Bella excitedly signed once she'd backed out of her father's warm embrace. She motioned for me to come and stand by her side, and I did so, bending down to kiss her forehead at the same time. Renee smiled at the tender gesture, and Charlie extended me his hand, taking mine in a firm shake.

_{It's about time we get the chance to meet you. I was beginning to think we'd receive an invitation to the wedding first},_ Charlie chuckled. I gulped aloud, noticeably flustered by his unexpected joke. Or was it a joke? Did he know something? But how could he? Pushing back the sudden rush of panic that threatened to consume me, I peeked down at Bella. Her face was flushed, embarrassed by her father's words, and she was scolding him for his remark with stern eyes. Renee laughed aloud at the spectacle before her.

_{Stop it, Charlie,}_ she chastised with a smile. _{Edward doesn't understand your brand of humor. You'll scare the poor boy away before he ever sets foot in the house.}_

_Not likely_, I signed, relaxing when I noticed the mischievous twinkle in Charlie's eye. Everyone laughed with me, following along behind Renee as she led us inside.

Walking through the door of Bella's childhood home, I was immediately distracted by the countless pictures of her, spanning in age from birth to college graduation that lined the hall leading into the living room. Pictures of a tired Renee with a chubby infant nestled snugly atop her chest; pictures of an angelic baby making her first sign – milk; pictures of a pig-tailed cherub screeching in delight as her father tossed her high in the air and pictures of a dark-haired, brown-eyed beauty posing for the camera at her high school graduation. An entire lifetime of pictures filled the wall, and I found myself moving from one to the other, watching Bella's life unfold before me like a chapter book. I stopped in front a picture of a gangly teenager, complete with long legs and gleaming braces. Bella sighed beside me.

_Braces, huh?_ I signed, and Bella just rolled her eyes.

_*Everybody wears them,*_ she pointed out.

_Not me,_ I replied with a wink. _I was born perfect. _

Bella slapped my arm, and we both laughed, stopping only when we noticed we were being watched. Both Renee and Charlie smiled at us, exchanging a glance between the two of them before beckoning us into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked lasagna filled the air, and my stomach growled, reminding me that we hadn't eaten anything since grabbing a snack at SeaTac hours before.

_{Hungry?}_ Renee asked, and both Bella and I nodded enthusiastically.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, with the four of us chatting amicably, getting to know one another. I quickly found that both Charlie and Renee were friendly, easy going people, and it was easy to see that Bella was the light of their lives. They were so proud of her and her accomplishments; it was obvious she had been raised in a loving, nurturing environment where her disability was never an issue. Charlie and Renee had simply adapted to the situation, giving their daughter the tools she needed to be successful in life. Their attitude had rubbed off on Bella, her positive outlook no doubt molded by two loving parents.

After dinner, Bella made apologies, telling both Charlie and Renee that we were tired. With a bit of trepidation, I climbed the stairs behind her, following her down a short hall where we stopped in front of a door. I glanced around me, quickly realizing this was a two bedroom house.

_Where am I sleeping?_ I asked as she led me into her room. Bella sat down on her bed, asking me to close the door behind me as she set to work unbuttoning her jeans.

_*In the bed, of course,*_ she signed with a funny look. I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot.

_What about your parents?_

_*What about them?*_ Bella laughed. Her pants were off now, and I groaned, staring at the tiny little bow adorning her blue, lace underwear. I loved the color blue on her. She _knew_ that. Why on earth did she choose to wear those today, of all days?

_They don't mind me sleeping with you?_

_*Edward, we live together,*_ Bella reminded me, clearly amused by my sudden discomfort. _*Trust me when I say this isn't an issue. My parents won't even give this a second thought.*_

_Your father's a cop,_ I pointed out. _He carries a gun._

Bella laughed freely at my comment, and though I was only teasing, I was still anxious about sleeping in bed with her. Her single bed, no less. We would be forced to sleep close together, practically on top of each other, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing if we were naked, which I wanted to be, badly…

_Fuck!_ My mind was all over the place, jumping from one thought to another. Bella noted my anxiety and rose from the bed, walking over to where I stood and placing her hand on the side of my face. My skin warmed under her touch.

_*You're a mess,*_ she grinned.

_I really want to make a good impression,_ I sighed. _I don't want to mess this up._

_*Believe me when I tell you there is no way you could ever mess this up. You're stuck with me, all right? It's just me and you, Green Eyes. It's just us.*_

I closed my eyes, letting the truth of Bella's words sink in. She always knew just what to say to bring me back around, to ground me when I let myself get too worked up. I nodded, smiling down at her when I opened my eyes again.

_*Let's go to bed,*_ she signed, and I willingly agreed.

I tried to sleep, I really did. I tried not to think of Bella's warm body pressed so close to mine, how the curve of her bottom fit perfectly between my hips. I tried not to touch her breasts as she slept peacefully in my arms. I tried not to kiss her neck, at least not too much, but all of these things were nearly impossible. It was delicious torture, sleeping together in her single sized bed, but eventually it got to be too much for me. My mind was still racing, trying to work through the details of our time together in Forks. When would I talk to Charlie? Where would I propose? Admittedly, I hadn't given much thought to the logistics of the proposal. I only knew I wanted to propose on New Year's Eve, so that Bella's parents could celebrate our engagement with us. I thought maybe I would take Bella out to dinner somewhere, and we could return home to ring in the New Year with her parents. I only had a few days to structure my plan, though, which meant I could waste no time in talking to Charlie. If only I wasn't so nervous…

Realizing that sleep was a hopeless cause, I gingerly slipped from bed, taking care not to wake Bella in the process. I slipped on my jeans and t-shirt before peering out into the darkened hall, passing quietly by Renee and Charlie's bedroom door on my way downstairs. I paused at the foot of the stairs, surprised to see Renee snuggled up in a blanket on the couch, an open bottle of beer in one hand and a book in the other. I glanced at my watch, shocked to see it was past 3 a.m. I was in the middle of deciding whether or not I should go back to bed when Renee took note of my presence.

"Edward?" she asked, turning her head and squinting her eyes in an effort to make out my shadowed form. I stepped forward so that she could see me better.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I didn't think anyone would be up," I stammered.

"Couldn't sleep?"

I shook my head no.

"Grab a beer from the fridge. Come join me on the couch." Renee smiled at me, and I hesitated only a moment before doing as she asked.

Sitting down at the other end of the couch, I couldn't help but snicker when I glanced at the title of Renee's book.

"Twilight? Isn't that…"

"Yes, it is," she interrupted me with mock defensiveness. "Don't judge me. It's a beautiful love story. I think we can all appreciate that, can't we?" Renee's eyes held my own, and I thoughtfully considered her statement, smiling as I agreed.

"Yes, I suppose we can."

"Charlie teases me for staying up so late, reading romance stories. But I like to remember what it's like to be young and in love. "

"It's amazing," I absently murmured, not even realizing I'd spoken the words out loud until Renee's glowing grin caught my attention.

"Sorry," I apologized, at once embarrassed by my slipup.

"Don't ever apologize for loving my daughter, Edward." Renee's kind and knowing eyes held mine, and I nodded, unable to hide my smile as I took a pull of my beer.

"So tell me, how have you and Bella settled into living together," Renee casually asked, pulling the blanket more tightly around her and resting her feet atop the ottoman situated in front of the couch. "I've talked with Bella about it at length, but I wonder how everything's going for you."

I looked on at Renee, seeing nothing but genuine interest on her part, and it warmed me to know that even though she'd only just met me, she already appeared to care about me. It had been the same when my parents met Bella, as if an invisible thread connected them the moment she became important in my life. It felt the same with Renee and Charlie.

"It's amazing," I answered her honestly. "Things are going really well."

Renee grinned, bringing the bottle of beer to her mouth.

"Not too many difficulties adapting to a deaf household?"

"No," I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "It's not so different, really. I actually appreciate the quiet. It's very conducive to studying."

Renee considered my reply with an approving smile, eyeing me thoughtfully.

"You know, I always wondered what type of man Bella would end up with."

"You mean hearing or deaf?"

Renee nodded.

"Did you have a preference?" I wondered, only half teasing. I really was curious whether or not my relationship with Bella was unexpected on her parents' part.

"I've given it more thought than you might think," she replied, her expression serious. "I've worried compulsively about Bella since the day she was born. I fought hard to give her as normal a life as possible. That's all I've ever wanted for her you know, the ability to live life like everyone else, regardless of the fact that she's deaf."

I was quiet for a moment, turning Renee's words over in my head before I turned to her, leveling her gaze with my own.

"Do you believe that I can give that to her?"

"Do you?"

"I've never had any doubt," I answered with confidence.

Renee smiled.

"Then you have your answer."

"I'm sorry?"

Renee reached over and squeezed my arm. "It doesn't matter to me whether you're hearing or deaf, Edward. All that matters to me is that you give Bella a normal, happy life."

"I fully intend on doing so," I assured her, quietly adding, "she's the most precious thing in the world to me."

"I know, Edward. It shows."

The following morning, I was roused from my sleep by the smell of bacon wafting up the stairs. I turned on my stomach, glancing at the clock on the bedside table. 10:00 a.m. I'd slept in, having crawled into bed a little after four in the morning, after chatting with Renee for over an hour. It had been a good discussion, a time for the two of us to get to know each other a little better, even if it was somewhat unconventional to do so in the middle of the night while drinking beer together on the couch. When I went downstairs, I found her and Bella working side by side in the kitchen.

"Good morning," I greeted Renee as I walked up behind Bella and slipped my arms around her waist. I hugged her close to me, wanting to pull her hair away from her shoulder and kiss down the side of her neck, but I opted for discretion instead, merely kissing the top of her head. Bella turned in my arms, standing on tip-toe to gently kiss my lips.

_*Mom tells me you stayed up late last night reading romance novels with her,* _Bella signed, winking at me in delight. I laughed out loud, smiling and shaking my head.

_Actually, we stayed up late discussing your awkward teenage years. Any chance you want to tell me about Tyler Crowley?_ I teased right back. Bella gawked at her mother, feigning annoyance with her before turning her attention back to me.

_*He was my first boyfriend. He was a terrific kisser,*_ she deadpanned.

"Is that so?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

"I'll take that as my cue to leave," Renee laughed, slipping out of the kitchen just as I pulled Bella back into my arms, giving her a proper good morning kiss. My lips moved against hers, hungry for something far beyond what was appropriate in that moment. It would be a long five days not being able to make love to her, especially on New Year's Eve, the planned evening of my proposal, but I would make up for it when we returned home.

Bella's father cleared his throat, causing me to jump back and Bella to smile.

_{Good morning,}_ he signed to us both, clearly amused by my reaction.

_*Good morning,*_ Bella signed in response, grabbing my shirt and pulling me back by her side. I straightened my back, vowing not to be so jumpy, and greeted Charlie in kind. Renee walked into the kitchen then, and the four of us went about setting the table for breakfast, signing easily amongst ourselves as we did. Although Bella and I had intended for me to meet her parents before now, it occurred to me as we all fluidly communicated with each other in sign that it was better for us to have waited. It was meaningful to me that I could demonstrate my commitment to Bella by communicating with everyone in her language. I wanted to show her parents that I openly embraced her world and the entirety of who she was, and that I would continue to do that as her husband, if she would have me.

_{What are you plans for today?}_ Charlie asked as he slid his fork under the pile of scrambled eggs sitting in the center of his plate.

_*The weather's supposed to be nice for once, so I thought I'd take Edward to the park. Maybe do a little hiking.*_

_I'd like that._

_{Speaking of plans,}_ Renee interjected. _{What are your thoughts on New Year's Eve?}_

I fidgeted in my seat, my eyes lifting upwards to Bella, who cocked her head to the side, studying me curiously. She sensed my discomfort, and if I wasn't careful, she would begin to suspect something. I cleared my throat, finishing my bite of food before putting my fork down.

_Actually, I was kind of hoping to take Bella out to dinner._

All eyes were at once upon me, and I suddenly realized how incredibly rude it was of me to exclude her parents from the invitation. I hadn't thought things through carefully enough, hoping it would be all right for us to catch up with them later in the evening without consulting any of them about my plans. Clearly, this was a grave oversight on my part.

_*You're welcome to come along, of course,*_ Bella hastily added, looking quickly between me and her parents.

"Of course!" I croaked, even though it really wasn't, but I panicked, not wanting to make a complete and total ass of myself by insisting I take Bella out alone. I watched in embarrassment as Renee and Charlie exchanged a glance.

_{Actually,} _Renee slowly began._ {Your father has a police function he'd like to attend at work on New Year's Eve, but we should be home early. Why don't I buy a bottle of champagne, and we can celebrate the New Year together when you get home from dinner,} _Renee suggested. Charlie winked at her and nodded his head, and I was beginning to wonder if they didn't suspect what I was up to. My suspicions only deepened when Charlie cleared his throat.

_{Speaking of nice weather,} _he began, glancing between both Bella and me. _{It's supposed to be sunny with a high of 42 tomorrow, which is practically unheard of for this time of year. I was wondering if you wanted to go fishing,}_ Charlie asked, turning so he was specifically facing me. _{Renee and Bella could head into Port Angeles and do some shopping together, give us a little time to get to know each other.} _

I gulped, suddenly nervous at the prospect of having _the_ conversation with Bella's father, but this was just the opportunity I had been looking for. Granted, I hadn't intended on asking him for Bella's hand in marriage while fishing, but I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I found myself nodding in response.

_That would be great._

_{Good, it's settled then,}_ Charlie replied with a grin.

When breakfast was over, Charlie and Renee disappeared into the living room to read the morning paper, leaving Bella and I alone to clean up. We worked together quietly, neither one of us saying anything to each other, but afterwards, Bella pulled me to the side, fixing me with an anxious gaze.

_*Is everything okay?*_ she signed, worry creasing her brows.

_Everything's fine,_ I assured her. _Why do you ask?_

_*Why do I ask? Edward, you've been acting strange ever since we got here. You're nervous… jumpy. You hardly slept last night. You think I didn't notice, but I did. I don't understand what's going on. Are you uncomfortable?*_

_What? No! Of course not. I told you, I'm just nervous about making a good impression._

Bella's gaze softened.

_*They love you, Green Eyes, I promise. My father invited you fishing. He's never invited any of my boyfriends to go fishing.*_

_Really? _I exclaimed, more excited by that than I cared to admit.

_*Really,*_ she signed. She angled her face upwards, kissing my lips softly and gently scratching the hair at the nape of my neck before pulling away.

_*Relax, sweetheart. There is nothing to be nervous about. They love you. I love you. Okay?*_

I sighed.

_Okay._

The sun hadn't yet risen in the sky when Charlie rapped on Bella's door the following morning. I stifled a yawn, bleary eyed and tired from another restless night. Ironically, Bella had slept like a baby in my arms, never moving from the position she fell asleep in. To keep my mind from racing, I'd watched her. Despite being anxious about proposing, I was never surer about anything in my life than I was about my sweet Bella. I loved her with all of my heart, and I wanted nothing more than to make her my wife. It was hard for me to believe that if everything went according to plan, in less than two days time she would no longer be my girlfriend but my fiancé instead. I reasoned that's what had me so on edge. I just wanted it to be official. That and I wanted to get passed _the talk_ with dear old dad.

"Edward? You awake?"

"Up and at em' Sir," I replied.

Charlie chuckled from behind the door.

"Enough with that Sir stuff," he chided. "It's Charlie. Nothing more, nothing less."

"All right, Charlie. I'll be down in a minute."

"Sounds good. I'm going to load the gear into the car and we'll be on our way. I figure we can run through a drive thru on the way out, pick up a couple of Egg McMuffins if that's all right with you. It's better if we get an early start."

"That's fine with me," I answered, pushing off of the bed and blindly searching for my jeans on the floor. I could have turned the light on, but I didn't want to wake Bella. Luckily, she didn't move an inch when I tripped over the leg of the rocking chair and went hurtling to the bedroom floor. One of the benefits of being deaf; you weren't dragged from blissful sleep by the sound of your clumsy boyfriend cursing in pain.

"Motherfucker," I hissed, grabbing my foot.

"Everything all right in there?"

Renee's voice caused my head to snap up.

"Ah… yes," I mumbled, embarrassed by my outburst. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up. I tripped…"

"I heard. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine," I said, locating my jeans and sitting in the offending chair to pull them on. I grabbed a thermal shirt and a sweatshirt from my duffel, pulling both over my head before grabbing my toiletry bag and slipping out into the hall. Thankfully, Renee was nowhere to be seen. I felt ridiculous for waking her up. The day wasn't starting off as I had originally intended, but I took a deep breath, telling myself there was nothing to be nervous about. Charlie and Renee had been nothing but warm and welcoming to me since my arrival, and I was pretty sure that Charlie had orchestrated this fishing trip to allow us the opportunity to talk shop. I wasn't sure how they knew what my intentions were, but I was all but certain they did. This took some - but not all of the pressure off.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I walked back into the bedroom where Bella still lay fast asleep. I bent at the knees, smiling as I brushed her hair from her face. Her sleepy eyes opened, and I pinned her arm by her side, shaking my head.

_*Don't say anything. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'll see you tonight.*_ I bent and kissed her forehead, and Bella smiled up at me, her eyelids once again falling closed as I rose to my feet. With a single, backward glance in her direction, sighing at the sight of her peaceful, resting form, I shut the door behind me and descended the stairs. Renee greeted me at the bottom.

"Bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, and sandwiches with fruit and chips for lunch," she said, pushing a small, handheld cooler into my hands. "Charlie insists I shouldn't bother, but I prefer for him to stay away from fast food," she said with a wink. "It's not good for him."

"But it sure does taste good," he said, sneaking up on Renee from behind. I watched in delight as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, hugging her close and kissing her cheek. "Thanks, hon. That was nice of you."

I wanted to be like them one day. Twenty years from now, I wanted to look at Bella just like Charlie was looking at Renee right now.

"Ready?" I asked, suddenly eager to get on the road. I was ready to ask for Bella's hand in marriage.

It was several hours later that Charlie and I decided to take a break from fishing, settling back in our chairs and munching on some apples that Renee had packed for us.

"Fishing's good today," I commented in passing, even though I had no idea if the seven fish we'd caught thus far could be considered a fair catch or not. I really knew very little about fishing and was only trying to make light conversation. Charlie had been surprisingly quiet ever since we arrived, and it was beginning to unnerve me.

"It's not so bad," he agreed with a small nod, but his mind seemed elsewhere. He took another bite of his apple, the sound of his teeth gnashing through the skin of the fruit sounding even louder given the surrounding silence of nature. He chewed his food, slowly reaching for his thermos of coffee and taking several deep drinks before turning to face me.

"So tell me, Edward - how did you happen to fall in love with my daughter?" he casually asked, catching me completely off guard. I'd expected him to ask me something about fishing, or football, or some other safely masculine subject; I wasn't expecting him to ask about Bella.

I cleared my throat, looking him straight in the eye as I answered him honestly.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was love at first sight?"

Charlie grinned.

"I would. Bella's a beautiful girl."

"That she is," I agreed.

"So that was it?" he pressed, taking another bite of the red fruit. "You fell in love with her beauty?" He seemed amused by this, thinking he had me all figured out, and I suppose in a way he did, but not in the manner in which he was thinking.

"I guess you could say that," I quietly agreed. "When I saw the person she was inside, I couldn't look away."

Charlie paused, his eyes holding mine in a pensive gaze before a smile pulled at his lips.

"Good answer, Son."

I chuckled softly, realizing that now was as good a time as any to broach the subject of marriage.

"Sir… Charlie," I said, correcting myself.

He glanced in my direction, silently giving me permission to proceed. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"Well, you see… this isn't exactly how I envisioned doing this, while fishing in the forest, then again, I'm not sure I ever imagined I would be doing anything like this, in fact, I can state with certainty it never crossed my mind, but that all changed when I met Bella, because she's important to me… _more_ than important to me, of course, and I want to do right by her, always…" I stammered like an absolute fool.

Jesus, what was my problem? I stopped talking for a moment, trying to get my head about me. Why was this so hard?

Charlie chuckled softly beside me, clearly amused by my discomfort. Thankfully, he'd made enough assumptions based on my incredibly inarticulate speech that he was able to step in and take over for me.

"Edward, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you have a question for me."

"Yes, Sir… Charlie," I nervously nodded.

Charlie's face grew serious.

"I see the way you look at my daughter, Son. It's clear you cherish her just as much as her mother and I, and I want you to know that I'm willing to entertain your request, but first, I want to ask you something."

"All right," I said slowly, uncertain as to what his question might be, but pleased he hadn't immediately denied me his blessing. Not that it would change my mind if he did; I intended to propose to Bella, regardless. But it would be nice to do so with her parents' blessing.

Charlie settled back in his chair.

"Has Bella ever told you anything about her childhood?" he asked, again catching me off guard with the unexpected change of subject. I thought we were discussing marriage…

"Ah… yes. We've discussed it…"

"Then you probably already know that things haven't always been easy for her. Her mother and I worked hard to give her as normal a life as possible, but there are always unexpected challenges when you're dealing with a disability."

"I'm learning that every day," I murmured softly.

"Bella handled them all with remarkable dignity and grace," he continued, a proud smile touching his lips.

"She's amazing," I agreed. "Every moment of every day we spend together, she amazes me."

"She amazes us too, Edward, always has, always will."

Charlie chuckled softly to himself, momentarily lost in thought before turning to face me.

"You know, Bella thinks the reason Renee and I never had more children is because we were burdened with the difficulty of caring for her," he said, a certain sadness touching his eyes. I nodded, because I remembered her telling me this in the past.

"But nothing could be further from the truth," he continued, his voice taking on a fervent tone. "We never had more children because we couldn't imagine loving anyone else as much as we love Bella." Charlie's voice cracked, and my eyes widened as I saw his own were wet with unshed tears. He laughed a little, embarrassed by his display of emotion, turning from me to wipe his eyes before staring across the stream to the trees on the other side of the bank.

"You're probably wondering why I'm telling you all of this," he said, shaking his head at himself. I wasn't sure how to answer that question, but thankfully, I didn't have to. He continued speaking before I had the chance.

"If the two of you are married, there's the possibility you could have a child that's born deaf," he said, turning to face me with a serious expression. I swallowed hard, my eyes never leaving his as I slowly nodded my head, acknowledging his words. "I need your word," he continued, his voice still thick with emotion. "I need your word that if that happens, you will love that child just as fiercely as Renee and I love Bella… as _you_ so obviously love her too."

I didn't even think twice about my answer, nodding my head in agreement. How could I not love a child that Bella and I created together? It didn't matter whether that child was born deaf or not. We would love him or her regardless.

"You have my word, Charlie."

"Thank you," he murmured gratefully, his face visibly relaxing in response to a great weight that seemed to have been lifted from atop his shoulders. He heaved a deep sigh before grinning in my direction. "Now, is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes, Sir, there is," I replied, all traces of nervousness gone. "I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

Charlie couldn't hide the satisfied smile that spread across his face.

"Well, Edward, provided that Bella says yes, which I have an inkling she will, Renee and I would be honored to call you our son."

**Endnotes:**

**One more to go, then two epilogues to follow sometime in the future! Thanks so much for all your support!**

Thank you for reading.

Follow me on **Twitter - misgatoslocos**! I'll follow you back.


	30. Perfect

**Author's Notes:**

**CONVERSATION KEY**

*When characters are speaking out loud, quotes will be used.

*When characters are signing with their hands, italics will be used. (Italics will be used in other places as well, i.e. to emphasize certain words/phrases. Please keep that in mind.)

*When characters are communicating via iPad or e-mail, bold will be used.

*Bella's conversations with others, signing and writing, will ALWAYS be encased in *stars*.

*Edward's conversations with Bella, signing and writing, will remain unmarked.

*Any other characters that sign in a chapter will have their conversations encased in {brackets}.

Many thanks to **azure0610** for acting as my beta. Also, thanks to **aerobee82 **and** JenEsme **for pre-reading for me.

The awesome **Nayarit** and **FluffyLiz** created my beautiful banners for me.

All the usual disclaimers apply. This story is rated M for a reason.

**Chapter 30 - Perfect**

I wasn't nervous as I waited for Bella to finish getting dressed for our dinner date upstairs. Never mind that her engagement ring, tucked safely away in my pants pocket, was a constant reminder of the entire purpose of this evening. Never mind that Charlie sat with his legs comfortably stretched out on the couch, a can of Rainier in his hand, smirking at me out of the corner of his eye. Never mind that Renee was hidden in the kitchen, humming along softly to the tune of "Going to the Chapel"…

Okay – so, maybe I _was_ a little nervous.

I peeked around the wall separating the kitchen from the living room, clearing my throat to make my presence known. Renee stopped humming and looked up, offering me a mischievous and far too knowing smile.

"Interesting choice of songs," I commented.

"It's one of my favorites," she replied with a wink.

Even though I'd said nothing of my specific plans to propose to Bella tonight, I was all but certain that Charlie and Renee had figured things out. Humming aside, Renee had saved me from my glaring faux pas at breakfast several days ago. I was thankful to her for announcing that she and Charlie had plans to attend a police function tonight, although I was beginning to suspect that might have been a lie. Neither one of them was dressed for a formal affair, nor did they look in any hurry to leave the house. I didn't ask, and I sure as hell hoped that Bella didn't notice.

"You two ready to go?" Renee asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"Bella's just finishing up upstairs."

"You're heading into Port Angeles, right?"

"Yes. Bella speaks highly of the Italian restaurant there."

Renee smiled.

"It's quaint. She loves the mushroom ravioli they serve. Did you manage to make reservations?"

I nodded my head.

"I was lucky. They were booked, but they had a cancellation this morning and they were able to fit us in. We should be back before midnight, so we can watch the ball go down together and drink that champagne."

Renee smiled warmly at me, reaching out to gently squeeze my arm.

"We're looking forward to it, but don't rush your dinner," she said. "The champagne will be chilled and waiting, regardless of the time you get in."

I nodded in response, just as the sound of Bella's shoes on the landing alerted me to her presence. Renee turned away from me then, and began humming along to the tune of "Going to the Chapel" again, causing my face to flush red when Bella strolled into the kitchen. One look at me, and she immediately grew alarmed.

_*Edward? Are you okay?*_

Without giving me a chance to respond, her hand flew to my forehead, her palm gently cupping the skin there, feeling for any sign of a fever.

"I'm fine," I assured her, reaching up to tug her hand away. In the background, I could hear Renee laughing softly. Of course, Bella couldn't hear her humming, or laughing for that matter, but it didn't keep me from feeling out of sorts. Thankfully, Renee took pity on me. She turned and waved her hand in Bella's direction, catching her attention.

_{Edward's fine, dear,}_ she signed. _{I sent him into the basement to retrieve some of the homemade chutney Lauren Mallory's mother sent over this past summer. You know how dusty it is downstairs. It caused him to cough a little, that's all.}_

Bella seemed appeased by her mother's explanation, and I breathed a sigh of relief, eager to get on our way before Renee decided to have any more fun at my expense. She winked at me one last time as I guided Bella out of the kitchen, and I couldn't help but smile and shake my head at her in return.

Bella's parents watched us as we carefully navigated the walkway to the car. Where the weather yesterday had been temperate, overnight a cold front had pushed through, bringing with it blustery weather and several inches of snow. Bella and I had both dressed accordingly, with Bella sporting a new pair of UGGs her mother had purchased for her while shopping in Port Angeles the other day. I'd gone casual with jeans and a long sleeved button down shirt that Bella said accented my eyes. Neither one of us were ones to dress up under any circumstance, so it seemed fitting I would propose to Bella in a place where we could simply be ourselves.

Sliding into the front seat of the car, I glanced in her direction.

_*Are you okay with driving?*_ she wondered. _*The weather's pretty bad…*_

She looked genuinely concerned, and for a moment I worried that she might try and call off our dinner. That simply wouldn't do, so I smiled at her reassuringly.

_It'll be fine. It's no different from driving in Chicago, really._

This was true. I really wasn't concerned about driving into town, despite the inclement weather; Chicago winters could rival Forks any day. Besides, Renee had offered to let us drive her car, a 4WD Grand Cherokee with tires more appropriate for winter driving than the standard tires in place on our rental, so we were better off than we would have been otherwise.

_*Are you sure?*_ she pressed, still looking uncertain. Her eyes flitted from my face to her window, where she watched the snow falling in spades around us. Reaching out, I squeezed her thigh, causing her to focus her attention back on me.

_I'm positive. Don't worry, _I signed, smiling at her while tapping the tip of her nose with my index finger. She swatted it away.

_*All right then, drive,*_ she playfully teased, motioning to the steering wheel, and with a smile and an acknowledging wave in her parents' direction, Bella and I pulled out of the driveway on our way to Port Angeles.

We were both quiet for the first ten minutes or so of our journey, each of us gratefully soaking up the warm heat that flowed through the vents and into the car. It was unfortunate that the vehicle didn't have seat warmers. That was a luxury I'd grown accustomed to in Chicago that Renee's older model truck was regrettably lacking. When my fingers finally warmed to the point where I could feel them again, I reached out, taking Bella's hand in mine. She looked over at me and sighed, a beautiful, contented smile pulling her rose colored lips upward. She was simply kissable right then, but I wouldn't chance taking my eyes off of the road, not even to sign. It wasn't safe in the current weather.

We had just turned onto a dark, and on this night, seemingly deserted side road that would eventually connect us to the main highway leading into Port Angeles, when I heard a funny sound emanating from outside. Bella reacted to the vibrations she felt passing through the base of the car moments before I realized there was something wrong. She reached out and gripped my thigh in concern, while a quick glance at the dashboard told me we'd lost air pressure in one of the tires. I immediately put my hazards on, pumping the brakes softly and slowly pulling over to the side of the road before putting the car in park.

_I think we might have a flat tire,_ I signed with a frustrated sigh, turning to face Bella before delivering the regrettable news. I couldn't believe this was happening. Of all nights, why did something like this have to happen tonight, the evening of my intended proposal? Bella nodded her head, and I tried not to think about what this might mean for our plans.

_*Have you ever changed one before?*_ she asked, worry creeping across her face.

_I've assisted once or twice_, I replied. Admittedly, I wasn't very handy with cars, but changing a tire wasn't all that difficult. However, on this night in particular it could be a messy affair, not to mention bitterly cold, given the current state of the weather outside.

_I'm going to get out and see what we're dealing with. Hopefully your mother has a spare. Why don't you call your father and let him know what's happened. Maybe he could drive out to help me change the tire._

Bella nodded and started searching in her purse for her phone while I braced myself to face the penetrating cold.

"Fuck," I muttered as I opened the car door. My teeth instantly started to chatter as cold air blasted across my face, causing me to suck in a sharp breath. Though it wasn't likely, it seemed as if the temperature had dropped twenty degrees between here and Bella's house. Slamming the door shut behind me, I was at least gratified to know that Bella was cocooned safely within the warmth of the car. I'd left it running for now; no sense in her having to suffer the cold until I could determine what exactly needed to be done. However if it was indeed a flat tire, I'd have no choice but to turn off the ignition before changing it out. Turning to my right, my suspicion was immediately confirmed. The front left tire was completely flat, likely the result of having driven over a nail, or some other sharp object. Whatever the case, it definitely needed to be fixed. I strode to the tire's side, bending at the knee to examine the rim for any damage before returning to the driver's side door, opening it and settling back inside the car.

_The front left tire is flat, _I signed, filling Bella in on the specifics with a resigned sigh. This did not bode well for the rest of our evening. _Did you get a hold of your father?_

She shook her head, grimacing.

_*I think I might have left my phone on the bathroom counter. I was texting with your sister before we left,*_ she guiltily replied, worrying her lower lip.

This definitely was not good news. I pulled my own phone from my back pocket, in the hopes that maybe I was wrong, but as I suspected, I had absolutely no cell service. Fucking AT&T.

"Shit," I sighed, resting my forehead against the steering wheel and gritting my teeth. "Shit, shit, shit."

_*What's wrong?_* Bella signed from beside me. She reached out, running her hand through my hair and scratching my scalp softly, which under normal circumstances would have worked wonders at settling me down, but not tonight - not when all hope for proposing to the love of my life was quickly funneling down the drain.

I took a deep breath before answering.

_No cell service._

Her eyes widened for a moment, her hand stilling in my hair before she retracted it and asked if I could change the tire on my own. At that point in time, I didn't think I had much of a choice, unless of course we wanted to wait around for a stranger to pass us by. The problem was who knew when that might happen? We were on a small, isolated back road, and we hadn't seen another vehicle for over fifteen minutes. This led me to believe that our odds of encountering one anytime soon were slim at best.

_I can change the tire,_ I assured Bella, doing my best to exude confidence when really I was starting to have doubts about my ability to do so, given the bitingly cold weather.

_*I can try to help,*_ she offered with a weak smile. _*Maybe hold a wrench or something? Like a surgeon's assistant…*_

Her comment caused me to chuckle, and I reached over, taking her hands in mine and kissing them.

_No,_ I shook my head. _Stay in here where it's warmer._ _I'll have to turn off the car, but I'll try to be quick, and hopefully we can be on our way before you get too chilled._

_*But what about you?* _she asked, obviously concerned about my well-being outdoors. _*It's so cold out there…*_

_Just think of it as extra incentive to be quick_, I replied with a wink and a half-hearted smile. It was forced, and Bella and I both knew it, but there was no sense in stewing over circumstances that were out of our control.

_*Okay,*_ she reluctantly agreed. She leaned across the seat to kiss my cheek, and with the sweet memory of her lips on my skin, I clicked off the ignition and opened my door.

I tried to stay positive as I stepped back out into the unwelcoming night air by focusing on the lingering sensation of her kiss, but as I surveyed my surroundings, my eyes landing on the offending tire, my dreams of proposing to Bella were all but swept away, drifting on the invisible tail of the wind that sailed right by me, taking a little piece of my heart with it. I shook my head in acceptance of probable defeat, because even if I _did_ manage to change the tire on my own, my clothes would likely be soaked through from the snow, and we would have to return home to change. At that point, it would be too late to go out to dinner, which meant my proposal would have to come at a later time - perhaps Tampa, on Valentine's Day? With a resigned sigh, I sullenly trudged to the back of the car, pulling open the hatch and extricating the rusty old jack and other tools I would need to change the tire with before setting to work.

A half hour later, I had proven myself a liar and a failure. I could not, in fact, change a tire on a car. At least not this car, in what felt like subzero temperatures under a dark, moonless sky. I had tried my best – persevered until Bella had dragged me kicking and screaming back inside the car. She was horrified when she took note of my fingers, ice-cold to the touch despite the fact they'd been sheathed in thick gloves. Those same thick gloves had made removing the nuts from the tire cumbersome, but I wouldn't have been able to remove them with my bare hands. It was much too cold outside for that.

"What are we going to do?" I asked as Bella turned the key in the ignition, causing a welcome blast of heat to burst through the vents. She reached out and took my hands gently between hers, plucking off my gloves and blowing warm air over the frigid fingers, causing my body to sag in relief. It felt so damn good.

She sat quietly for a minute, continuing to warm my hands before she finally replied.

_*Forks High is about a quarter mile away. It's the closest building around. If we're lucky, there's a door open somewhere and we can get to a phone.*_

_And if we're not lucky?_ Because let's face it… tonight hadn't exactly gone according to plan.

Bella shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.

_*This is Forks, not New York City. There will be a door open somewhere.*_

I wasn't so sure, but our options were admittedly limited, and sitting in the car, waiting for the gas to run out while we waited for a car to happen by didn't exactly appeal to either one of us, so we locked up behind ourselves and headed on our way, with our jackets zipped up tight and our hoods pulled over our heads to shield us against the cold on our journey.

Both of us kept our gloved hands shoved deep inside our pockets as Bella led the way through the woods. Thankfully, we'd found a flashlight stashed in the back of the glove compartment in the truck, which now lay tucked beneath Bella's right arm. It wasn't much, but it provided enough light so that we could see where we were going. Both of us walked with purpose towards our destination, however I did my best to usher Bella forward at a quicker pace when I registered wolves howling somewhere off in the distance. I tried not to panic at the sound of their soulful cries, instead focusing hard on the single stream of light leading the way through the thick gathering of trees, but I had to admit the sound was disconcerting. I'd seen enough documentaries to know that a pack of wolves wasn't to be messed with. I debated telling Bella about them, but ultimately decided against it. Though my omission might not have been fair, I didn't see any sense in alarming her. From the sound of it, they were miles away. Still, I was glad when I saw the outline of a building appear through a clearing in the woods not too far away. Luck hadn't exactly been on our side tonight, and the sight of Forks High was definitely a welcome relief.

_Do you know where you're going?_ I asked as I moved up by Bella's side. She glanced in my direction, little more than her eyes visible from inside her drawn hood, and shook her head _no_, which didn't exactly inspire confidence. I pulled my phone from my back pocket, praying that we might have reception here, but again, I failed to find a signal.

Bella and I walked briskly to the front entrance, both of us reaching out to test the door at the same time. It was locked, but Bella didn't seem bothered by that. She didn't let it deter her from moving swiftly around the building, pulling forcefully on every set of doors. We were nearing the end of available doors to try when one finally gave way. Bella's eyes flashed to mine, and I grinned in delight as she pulled the rusted metal structure open. I immediately felt along the wall, flicking the switch on and illuminating the space, only to find that we were standing in the middle of a band room.

What were the chances? My eyes bounced from the tubas to the drums to the old baby grand piano tucked away in a corner before landing back on Bella.

_Look around for a thermostat, _I instructed her, knowing as well as she did that we needed to take immediate measures to warm ourselves up. The room would provide us shelter from the outdoors, but it was still intolerably cold. Bella nodded, clicking the flashlight off and setting it down on a nearby desk before circumnavigating the room. It took the better part of five minutes, but we finally located the tiny box, hidden behind an old bookshelf packed full of dusty old sheet music. Both of us sighed when I clicked on the heat, wisps of warm air pushing through a vent in the ceiling located directly above us. I pulled Bella into my arms and she smiled up at me, both of us basking in the welcome warmth.

Even though we needed to find a phone, I took a moment to hold Bella close, kissing her temple and resting my wind chapped cheek against the top of her head. Despite the unwelcome turn of events tonight, it was hard to feel anything but contented holding her in my arms. Even if I wasn't able to slip a ring on her finger, we would still ring in the New Year together. Whether that would be in the Forks High School band room or the more desirable location of her living room remained to be seen, but regardless, I wouldn't let this unanticipated detour prevent me from making the best of our situation.

After a few minutes, Bella pulled out of my arms and began further exploring our surroundings, poking around in the hopes of finding a phone. I joined her, but even as she cleared away stacks of paper from a desk located at the front of the room, my eyes kept shifting back to the piano I'd spotted earlier. It was definitely a relic of times gone by – its many nicks and scratches a testament to its service, and I couldn't help but wonder if despite all that, it might actually still be playable. Crossing the room in curiosity, I pulled out the bench and lifted the fallboard, revealing a row of chipped and cracked keys. I cringed at the sight, but was pleasantly surprised when pressing a single finger to middle C rewarded me with a perfectly in tune note. Encouraged, I played several more, and when two turned into four turned into an octave, I couldn't help but smile. My mind was quickly spinning.

Perhaps all wasn't lost after all.

Curious as to what I was doing, Bella made her way over to the piano.

_Hop up,_ I told her, reaching out to pat the top of the piano. It had been several weeks since Bella had been in a practice room with me, and I missed watching her while I played. I would never tire of watching her reactions to my music. They were different every time, yet one thing always remained the same – her eyes were always filled with deep admiration and wonder as she watched me, and truthfully, if I only ever played for an audience of one for the remainder of my days, I wouldn't be disappointed. I would much rather share my love of music with this girl who lived in a world of silence than with anyone who perchance had the ability to hear.

_*Don't you think we ought to continue looking for a phone?*_ Bella asked, raising a brow at my suggestion, but I shook my head.

_No. That can wait. Hop up. I want to play something for you._

Bella eyed me skeptically, but when I rose from the bench and placed my hands on her hips, pressing a single soft kiss to her lips, she didn't resist when I lifted her upwards. Instead, she settled herself in a cross-legged position in the front of the piano, in a place where she could reach out and touch me if she pleased, and her eyes tracked me as I took my seat back in front of her, watching me closely as I stretched out my fingers, readying them to play.

_*What are you going to play me?*_she asked when I lifted my eyes to hers.

For a moment, I wasn't quite sure, but sitting there on the piano bench, regarding the woman I loved with rapt adoration, my decision was all but made for me.

Bella was as beautiful as ever - her windswept hair hanging loosely at her shoulders, tiny dampened strands made wet by snow clinging gently to her neck; her porcelain hued skin, made bright by cheeks flushed with warmth; the elegant curve of her faintly parted lips and the endless depth of her gorgeous brown eyes… everything about her called to me. She was perfect.

Simply perfect.

_Do you know Michelle Featherstone?_ I asked, knowing there was a good chance she didn't but refusing to make assumptions. You never knew with Bella. She was actually well aware of many musical artists, as well as knowledgeable about the lyrics to their songs; she didn't need to listen to the notes to be inspired by music. Unfortunately, she shook her head _no_, but I wouldn't let that deter me.

_Watch my lips carefully, okay?_ I murmured, and she nodded, lowering her eyes so that they were focused on the movement of my mouth. And with that, I let my hands drift across the keys of the piano, playing the opening notes of a song that was the very definition of the girl who sat before me.

_Perfect._

**I see you across a crowded room…**  
><strong>I see you across a crowded room… <strong>  
><strong>I see you across a crowded room…<br>And I'm paralyzed…  
>I'm paralyzed…<br>Because you're perfect…**

Bella's breath hitched in the back of her throat, her hand traveling to her lips where they muffled a tiny sigh, and I knew… I knew that she'd understood every word that I sung to her. This was just another reason why I was continually amazed by her, and to think that everyone had once wondered how I would even communicate with her. Little did they know, we weren't bound by the limitations of spoken language. In many ways, we'd created a language of our very own.

I continued to sing to her, serenading her with words to a song that were the embodiment of what she was to me, words that spilled from my lips in a reverent homage to the woman I knew was nothing short of perfect.

Throughout the remainder of the song, Bella's beautiful brown eyes remained locked with mine, never once daring to part from my face, and the depth of the emotion reflected back at me told me she understood exactly what she meant to me. She knew that in my eyes, she had always been and would forever be… perfect. And when my fingers drew back from the keys, the final note echoing in the silence that hovered between us, I knew that it was time, and it mattered not that our car had broken down on the way to dinner in Port Angeles. It mattered not that we'd trudged through the dark and cold, only to wind up in the Forks High School band room. It mattered not that currently, we had no plan for how we would get ourselves back home. All that mattered… all that _really_ mattered was that Bella and I were together. We loved each other and we were together; the rest were just insignificant details. So, with trembling hand, I gingerly removed her ring from my pocket, and with gentle care and utmost reverence, I reached for her hand, pulling the ring from its velvet incasing and slipping it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, the solitary diamond a testament to my love for her.

Bella's eyes spilled over with tears when she realized what I was doing- fat happy tears that made my heart swim with joy as my hands began to move.

_Bella… beautiful Bella. I still remember the day I first signed that word to you. I was so nervous. But you were… and still remain… the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, _I remembered with a wistful smile. Bella smiled softly at me in return, reaching up to dab at her eyes.

_I'm not sure I could ever find the proper words to convey the depth of my feelings for you, _I continued_. But if there was ever a word to describe what you are to me, perfect would be it. From the moment I first met you, I've felt alive in a way I never dreamed possible. You are the embodiment of all my hopes, my wishes, my dreams, and you are the only person I will ever want to grow old with. Our relationship hasn't been without its difficulties, but through it all, we've stood by each other, supporting each other, encouraging each other and caring for each other in a way that only two people that are deeply in love ever could. It is for these reasons that I sit before you now, requesting you do me the utmost honor of becoming my wife. Bella Swan, will you marry me?_

Without missing a beat, Bella scrambled down from the top of the piano, settling herself squarely on top of my lap, straddling my thighs with her legs. Reaching out, she tenderly cupped my face between her two hands. The emotion swimming in her eyes was overwhelming, and when she touched her forehead to mine, bending forward to lightly brush her lips against mine, I thought I might die in anticipation of her answer.

And then there it was… floating in the space between us, a deceivingly simple word whose worth could never truly be measured.

"Yes."

Her lips touched mine one more time, and she murmured the sacred word against them again.

"Yes, Edward..." She pulled back, bringing her hands from my face to in front of her. _*I will marry you.* _

Bella and I didn't much worry about where we were or how we would get home after she accepted my proposal. All we really seemed to care about was the fact that from this point forward, we had the rest of our lives to look forward to together, and nothing could have taken away from the happiness and exhilaration we both felt in that moment because of that. For everything that had gone wrong tonight, the most important thing had gone right… I was to be a husband, and Bella was to be my wife. So it was that when Charlie eventually found us several hours later, after a passerby happened to recognize Renee's car parked on the side of the road and placed a frantic call to Charlie, that he found Bella and I holed up in the high school band room, laughing hysterically at each other as we attempted to play the myriad of instruments scattered about the room. At least I could hear to know how awful I sounded when attempting to play the trombone. Bella was entirely oblivious, and I thought she might just shatter glass when she blew forcefully into the piccolo.

We drove home in the back of Charlie's police cruiser, and as soon as he spotted the ring on Bella's finger and realized that I had in fact made an honest woman out of his baby girl, he flipped the switch on the lights stationed on the roof of the car, escorting us home in grand police style. He added the siren when we pulled onto Bella's street, and even though she couldn't hear to know he'd done so, she watched closely as I covered my ears, shielding them from the loud sound, and figured things out on her own. She hid her head against my shoulder in embarrassment.

"Charlie… er… it's really not necessary…"

But he cut me off, rolling down his window and waving politely at the neighbors as they peered into the dark from the safety of their front porches, wondering what on earth was going on. Charlie simply acknowledged them with a friendly nod, refusing to share the good news with anyone else until we'd shared it with Renee.

We didn't have to wait long. Like everyone else on the small street in the tiny little town of Forks, Renee was glancing worriedly out the front door as we pulled into the driveway. Charlie turned the siren off, but left the lights going as Renee hurried to the car.

"Oh, thank God, you found them! Is everything all right?" she wondered, and I felt bad that Charlie hadn't called her the moment he had found us to let her know we were fine. Then again, if he was using AT&T, it would have been pointless.

"They're fine, they're fine," he assured her as she pulled open the door to the back seat. Bella peered up at her, and Renee sighed in relief just as her eyes caught sight of Bella's hand. Her own hand moved to her mouth, capturing a quick intake of breath before a brilliant smile lit up her face.

"Oh, oh…" she began to speak, tears of joy welling in her eyes as her hands started moving frantically about in front of her.

_{Come out of the car! Oh my God, come out of the car, the both of you, so I can hug you both tight!}_

We did as she requested, the three of us standing together in an awkward embrace before Charlie reminded Renee that Bella and I must be starving, and it was cold… so bitterly cold outside. We filed indoors then, soon after partaking in leftover fried chicken that Charlie and Renee had made for dinner, which also happened to confirm my suspicion that there never was a police affair for them to attend. An hour later, the four of us rang in the New Year together, finishing not one, but two bottles of champagne between us.

We had a lot to celebrate.

Later, much later when the house was still and quiet, I crept downstairs, guided only by the light of the full moon shining softly through the living room bay window. Bella was fast asleep upstairs, but I was too wired to sleep. So instead, I wandered over to the well worn bench seat, tucked snugly beneath the window, and gazed out at the gently falling snow, taking the time to contemplate just how much my life had changed over the past year. It was incredible, really. In the span of twelve months, the most beautiful, amazing and inspiring woman I'd ever had the privilege of knowing had fallen straight into my lap, and now, on this, the first day of the New Year, we were embarking on the first day of the rest of our lives together.

I smiled to myself, letting the reality of that thought sink in while reveling in the quiet of the night that surrounded me like a warm winter blanket. There was a time when that silence might have bothered me, made me ruminate over the fact that while many of my friends and family had found _that_ special person to spend their lives with, I was still alone. Thankfully, that was not the case anymore. Now, the sound of silence was the most significant and precious sound there was to me. It reminded me, most importantly, of the woman I loved, and would continue to love for the remainder of our days.

Yeah… I was a sentimental fool. And with an enormous sentimental smile, I padded back up the stairs and slipped back into bed with my love, pulling her close to me and whispering my endless devotion to her before drifting back to sleep, swaddled by the comforting sound of silence.

**Endnotes:**

**I guess I'm not so creative, but I love ending my stories with a proposal. Looking forward, I will be posting two epilogues**** sometime in the future, but I can't say exactly when. They are not written, but I know what I want to write, so that's half the battle, right?**

**There are other projects on the horizon, so if you feel so inclined, place me on author alert. I do hope to continue with The Preacher's Son one day, but I'm still not sure that will be up to bat next. **

**Thanks so much for your support. It's been fun, and I've so enjoyed getting to know some of you better (those that followed me here from Chance Encounter), while also getting to know many of you for the first time. It's always a privilege.**

**Peace. **

**Twitter - misgatoslocos**


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